Clip My Wings
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About this ebook
trauma and suffering. April is able to discuss her experiences with sexual assault, family relationships,
self-harm, being in care, and managing mental health through the course of her journey. The story of
April is one of healing and of facing one's pain head-on.
The story of April is one that many readers can identify with, and the book is wonderfully honest and
real. It serves as a reminder that there is always hope, no matter how bleak and challenging
circumstances may seem. It is a tale of resiliency and fortitude. The power of speaking the truth and
being unrepentant is demonstrated by April's narrative.
The memoir serves as a crucial reminder that each of us has a unique story to tell and that it is crucial to
speak out and share our experiences. Additionally, it serves as a reminder that we are never alone in our
troubles and that others may always identify with us. The lesson from April's tale is that we may all draw
strength from our experiences and find healing through telling them.
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Clip My Wings - April Williams
© 2023 April Williams. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
Published by AuthorHouse 03/14/2023
ISBN: 979-8-8230-8118-4 (sc)
ISBN: 979-8-8230-8117-7 (e)
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,
and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
Contents
Introduction
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
I
dedicate this to my partner who has held
my hand throughout my life’s toughest
hurdles and my first therapist, who saw me
for more than what has happened to me.
Clip My Wings
As I try to fly
Further up the sky
My wings start to bleed
With angst and shame
It is with God I plead
I beg him to let me fly
But he says, you do not belong in the sky
I gradually get onto the ground
Where all I do is howl
I am where suffering lays
Can’t seem to escape
Even when I pray
I am a magnificent bird
But all the people who believe what they heard
Clip my wings
They tell me that I belong on the ground
No story or sweet sounds
I am just what they make of me
One by one
Wing by wing
I become just like them
I can’t seem to pretend
That I am happy here
They watch me frown
They love the product of my tears
I promise that I won’t stay on the ground forever
They can’t keep me with this tether
They can’t shoot me down
I am bulletproof
Hurt me and you won’t hear a sound
Let me fly
Into the sky
With full wings
No more cutting my hope
No more bringing me to your level
My wings are mine only
And you can’t clip them without my say so
- Clip my wings
INTRODUCTION
D uring my university break I wanted to crack down on some gripping books. I intended to buy I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy, but once I stepped foot into Waterstones on the 29 th of December, I instantly was drawn to this personal novel – When You Lose It, by Roxy and Gay Longworth. Now, I should have known that the moment I picked that book up I was never going to be able to put it down. It was a book that I, and am sure many others, related to. Maybe it was a sign from the universe for me to pick up that book, because for the longest time I always felt misunderstood. Roxy and Gay simply put it into words just how daunting life can be on a young person and a mother too, which touched me. The raw emotions of the mother and daughter dynamic, the detail of how crippling mental health can be, and that’s when I knew, that I had to write this book.
During this time of writing this book, I was still dealing with the hurdles that life was throwing at me. I was clinging onto dear life, wondering what my next steps were, despite having a thousand obstacles in my way. Nonetheless, sharing my story gave me hope. I have always been a writer, sharing my thoughts on a page. But never have I shared it with the world. Even though a lot of people doubted me on writing this book, the fact that I was connecting with hundreds if not thousands of readers gave me hope. Through my experiences, I’ve often felt lonely. The only thing that has gotten me through all the hurdles I’ve faced is that someone, anyone, will resonate with this story which would give them hope for a better future.
I decided to write about the things that I have healed from and come to terms with. I want to be able to write without reliving pain so that my perspective would be beneficial to readers, and also to myself. There are things that have been left out, and when I’m ready to discuss and share this with the world, I will be able to do this in a beautiful way.
Mental health is not easy to talk about, especially if you have suffered with it long term. The impact of generational trauma is often not talked about, and it is something I’ve never completely understood until recently. My family is a complicated one, something that I’ve never completely resonated with. From my mum’s trauma to my father’s, I began to battle with their pain as well as my own. At the end of 2022, I attempted suicide. I thought that would be it. That is me done with the world. But something tells me that I am not done. Something tells me that this book needed to be written, and I had to be the one to write