Matrimoney

By Waron Braden

"Matrimoney" is a satirical comedy play that takes place in the summer of 2001. It is an exploration of relationships, marriage, money, and divorce. Through sarcastic humor, crude characterizations, and clever dialogue, the characters are faced with the difficult task of determining how to move forward in the face of unexpected and newfound situations, including impending marriage and divorce, all at the same time. The audience is taken along on the journey as they grapple with the ever-changing futures of the family, together and apart. Its funny and thoughtful message will stick with you long after the play is done.

• Language: English
• Publisher: ScribStack Media
• Release date: Feb 27, 2023
• ISBN: 9798201697877

Waron Braden

Waron Braden is an author who always strives to write with a unique blend of humor, drama, and emotion in his plays, screenplays, and short stories. His works explore the complexities of human relationships and the power of the human imagination. Although not yet a household name, Braden is quickly becoming a recognized and respected voice in the literary world. With his trademark wit and insight, his writing is sure to entertain and inspire no matter what form it takes.

Book preview

ACT I

Scene 1

––––––––

Setting: We are in the living room of a small two-story house belonging to the Childress family. It is modestly furnished with aging appliances in various states of disrepair, scattered and stacked around the room, along with knickknacks in cabinets and on shelves in no particular order. There are a few clothes scattered around the room, and beer bottles stacked around a waste basket under a table, littered with candy wrappers and magazines next to a chair in the middle of the room. There is nothing particularly dirty about it just that the occupants of the house have grown accustomed to living in a cluttered environment, which reflects their personalities up to this point of their twenty-eight-year marriage.

––––––––

At Rise: ARTHUR is sitting in his favorite chair reading a magazine while the lamp that is lighting his quiet experience begins to flicker. He looks away from his magazine up to the bulb and begins to tap it trying to get it to stay lit. CAROL walks in with a load of dirty laundry and eyes him without wanting to notice what he’s doing, but she quickly gives this up as she often does when she becomes agitated by his activity. She goes about collecting any loose items for washing and places them in her laundry basket she is lugging under arm but then sets down with a thud before addressing ARTHUR in an apparent continuation of an earlier conversation.

––––––––

CAROL: I just wish you’d fix that damn thing.

––––––––

(ARTHUR keeps tapping while talking to her.)

––––––––

ARTHUR: I told you I’m fixing it.

––––––––

CAROL: Tapping isn’t fixing. The flashing is getting worse. I’m starting to get flashbacks from the 70’s.

––––––––

(ARTHUR is now moving his face closer to the bulb almost inside the bulb housing.)

––––––––

ARTHUR: You’re exaggerating. It hasn’t been that long, Anyway, I always get it to work.

––––––––

CAROL: What are you talking about? That thing hasn’t worked right since election night. Maybe it’s just a warning signal.

––––––––

ARTHUR: Well, it knows more about that than I do. (pulling back as the lamp stays in a lighted state) There it’s fixed. Clear the dance floor.

––––––––

(CAROL resumes picking up the dirty laundry as ARTHUR resumes his reading.)

––––––––

CAROL: I’m trying. By the way, when are you going to bring that stuff down from the attic like I asked?

––––––––

ARTHUR: What for? The wedding’s not for a month.

––––––––

CAROL: Well, I want to get ahead of it. Don’t want to wait till the last minute to do everything. If we’re gonna have the wedding and the reception here I wanna make sure there’s plenty of room. Don’t want anyone to promenade across the   floor and knock over the mashed potatoes.

––––––––

ARTHUR: Promenade? It’s a wedding not a barn dance, and having it here was your idea.

––––––––

CAROL: That’s because it’s the only venue we could afford. The parks are filthy this time of year, and all the burned-out buildings are booked through the summer. Besides, I don’t want the guests getting mugged during the vows.

––––––––

ARTHUR: It’ll be fine. Anyway, who has mashed potatoes at a wedding reception?

––––––––

CAROL: Still, can you bring the stuff down so I can arrange it before the wedding?

––––––––

ARTHUR: Okay, but I don’t know what kind of promenading you can do on this dance floor. How many do you have coming so far?

––––––––

CAROL: Don’t know just yet, but if it’s more than nine it’s gonna be a challenge.

––––––––

ARTHUR: If it’s more than nine we can just put up a basketball goal.

––––––––

CAROL: Might be cheaper, and that’s the name of the game, Isn’t it?

––––––––

ARTHUR: I Don’t know why they don’t just get married by the justice of the Peace like regular people.

––––––––

CAROL: You mean regular poor people.

––––––––

ARTHUR: We’re not poor. We’re lower middle class. That’s like poor but without the benefits.

––––––––

CAROL: That may be worse. We oughta be able to do more, is all.

––––––––

ARTHUR: We shouldn’t have to do anything.

––––––––

CAROL: This again!

––––––––

ARTHUR: Yeah. I mean the father of the bride, traditionally, is supposed to pay for everything. Why do I get stuck with it all?

––––––––

CAROL: You aren’t. We are, and you know her father is in rehab for the umpteenth time, practically penniless, and her mother is dead... So that leaves us.

––––––––

ARTHUR: I never understood how putting a bunch of drug addicts in a room together telling each other depressing stories keeps you sober.

––––––––

CAROL: Well, if you ain’t in the room they have a shot.

––––––––

ARTHUR: And I ain’t about to be in that room.

––––––––

CAROL: I know.

––––––––

ARTHUR: I just thought that I‘d be able skate by with Trent’s wedding, and I could just