Sh*tty Jobs: The Guide to Surviving a Recession

By John Laloggia

In 2009, a recent college graduate entered the workforce filled with excitement and optimism. He found neither in the aftermath of the 2008 recession. He couldn't help but notice the similarities with the 2020 pandemic.

LaLoggia offers an unfiltered account of his early twenties trying to find a job during a terrible economy while torn between being fulfilled or homeless. He offers guidelines for people on how to endure a recession, laugh their way through it, and come out on the other side with a glimmer of hope.

He shares his experience working largely for "fake companies" with misleading job descriptions that in no way fully explain the role or accurately depict what the company truly does.

Shitty Jobs: The Guide to Surviving a Recession is a true story of a shameless young man who will say or do anything to any employer to not move back in with his parents (which he eventually does).

I don't think this book will help anyone.

-Dad

I promise I'll read it.

-Mom

• Language: English
• Publisher: Newman Springs Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jul 8, 2021
• ISBN: 9781636926773

Book preview

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Sh*tty Jobs: The Guide to Surviving a Recession

John Laloggia

Copyright © 2021 John LaLoggia

All rights reserved

First Edition

NEWMAN SPRINGS PUBLISHING

320 Broad Street

Red Bank, NJ 07701

First originally published by Newman Springs Publishing 2021

ISBN 978-1-63692-676-6 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-63692-677-3 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Work

Gummy Worms

Hobby, Job, or Career?

Fake Jobs

Millennials

Watching TV with Subtitles

The Art of Killing Time

Remember to Laugh

The Dark Times

Lifestyle

Rejection

Introduction

George: I like sports. I could do something in sports.

Jerry: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. In what capacity?

George: You know, like the general manager of a baseball team or something.

Jerry: Yeah. Well, that—that could be tough to get.

George: Well, it doesn’t even have to be the general manager. Maybe I could be like, an announcer. Like a color man. You know how I always make those interesting comments during the game.

Jerry: Yeah. Yeah. You make good comments.

George: What about that?

Jerry: Well, they tend to give those jobs to ex-ballplayers and people that are, you know, in broadcasting.

George: Well, that’s really not fair.

Jerry: I know. Well, okay. Okay. What else do you like?

George: Movies. I like to watch movies.

Jerry: Yeah. Yeah.

George: Do they pay people to watch movies?

Jerry: Projectionists.

George: That’s true.

Jerry: But you gotta know how to work the projector.

George: Right. Okay. Sports, movies, what about a talk show host?

Jerry: Talk show host. That’s good.

George: I think I’d be good at that. I talk to people all the time. Someone even told me once they thought I’d be a good talk show host.

Jerry: Really?

George: Yeah. A couple of people. I don’t get that, though. Where do you start?

Jerry: Well, that’s where it gets tricky.

George: You can’t just walk into a building and say I wanna be a talk show host.

Jerry: I wouldn’t think so.

George: It’s all politics.

Jerry: All right, okay. Sports, movies, talk show host. What else?

George: This could have been a huge mistake.

—Seinfeld, season 2, episode 7

Work

God would never let me be successful. He’d kill me first. He’d never let me be happy.

You’re not alone—work sucks. We have to do it for a decent life. Some people like their job, but I’ll bet there are far more people that would rather be doing something else.

Obligation kills inspiration. Jimmy Kimmel said, If it’s on the calendar, I don’t want to do it. And he loves his job.

You will always have to work in some capacity, and for many of us, it will be something we don’t love. The purpose of this book is to help you get through your shitty job and/or unpleasant job search.

My wife, who works in the hospitality industry, was extremely successful at a very young age rising up the ranks of the corporate world. Her view is that, regardless of the job, a person should try to be the best they can. To which I say, ideally, sure; but the reality is they don’t. They might have the necessary skills to be good at their job, but it’s a constant struggle day after day to put forth the effort to be successful because they don’t love it or don’t care.

There seem to be two options. One, you can quell your passion as the singular focus in your life and take the work to live motto. Provide for your family. Have a nice life enjoying vacations and good meals. Your passion becomes your hobby. Conversely, you can relentlessly pursue your passion even through these demeaning, disheartening jobs.

You have to choose the best path for yourself. I’ve done both. I worked at jobs I’ve hated, and I’ve also had jobs I liked. What I found is I worked harder and put forth infinitely more effort into jobs I wasn’t paid for and liked versus jobs I was paid for and hated. Those roles should be reversed, but they aren’t. My two passions in life are sports and comedy, so when I did internships at ESPN Radio 1000 and Comcast SportsNet in Chicago, I killed myself because I wanted to work at those establishments. I was an intern at two different improv comedy theaters, and I didn’t mind taking out the trash if it meant being able to learn how to perform and write comedy from some of the best comedy teachers in the world. I labored over the things I cared about versus things I didn’t. People rarely lose their jobs for things they care deeply about unless, you know, a generational global pandemic hits.

I graduated college in 2009 right as the 2008 recession was coming into play. I’m fully aware that the unemployment rate of 2008 wasn’t nearly as bad as the recession due to COVID-19, but the same recession strategies apply. If it feels like you were dealt a bad hand, you were. It’s okay to be upset. This fucking sucks! Venting aside, the recession happened to everyone, not just you. The point of this book is to help you through it.

Your situation is temporary. Remind yourself of this. Cynicism is easy and self-defeating. It is much harder to try. Embrace the chaos. Record unemployment, racial injustice, environmental collapse, and a pandemic. Acknowledge it and use it to build your roadmap forward.

Be fearless. Don’t stop putting yourself out there. It will pay off. As I write this, I keep getting email notifications about jobs I applied for that I didn’t get. Job search tip number one, when the email starts with unfortunately, you can delete it.

Endure the journey. When someone tells me to enjoy the journey, I want to dropkick them because we’re not all taking the same journey. Some of us are traveling in private planes while some of us are rollerblading. Not all journeys are enjoyable. A journey is change, and change is hard. Navigating through a recession is hard. You have self-doubt, anxiety about the world, and a rapidly diminishing bank account. Breathe through the