Bureaucracy Run Amok

By Roy D Perkins

Bureaucracy Run Amok by Roy D Perkins

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Feb 9, 2021
• ISBN: 9781662426346

Book preview

Chapter 1

The Gathering

By some miracle, all the right people are together at the right place at the right time. Even the cops are cooperating in gathering up George’s belongings and his car so that Roger and his daughter may leave. George’s ex-wife is incoherent and confused. While waiting for the ambulance, the cops search inside the house and inside George’s car. The cops find George’s personal possessions, including some cash. The cops hand over the items to Roger, the power of attorney. Some of the small stuff and the cash are in an evidence bag. The cop puts on a pair of rubber gloves to avoid contamination. He and the others don’t want to handle the subject merchandise because it is contaminated with urine.

Apparently, George, during one of his chronic urinary tract infections, lost control at night and wet the bed and all of the surrounding area. His wallet is in his pocket and receives the major portion of the outpour of urine. Roger will have a rough time getting the banks to take urine-contaminated money. It pisses off bank personnel to have to handle pissed-on money, other than their own. Later on, Roger will dry out the cash and will fragrant it with some men’s cologne. After it dries, it smells just fine. To play it safe, Roger goes to a different bank. The other bank is ignorant of the cash being soaked in urine. Besides, one would never know it now; it smells and feels just fine. Roger has successfully laundered the pissed-on money.

A few days ago, an ambulance hauled George away due to a urinary tract infection, blood sugar out of control, and confusion due to dementia. For the first time, George leaves his wallet behind; probably, because it is saturated with urine. He probably figures that no one will touch a urine-soaked wallet. So George misses all the excitement. His sneakers are still lying in the driveway; they too are saturated with urine. No one is about to touch them. That is why he arrives at the hospital with no shoes. By now, George’s ex-wife’s driveway is a parking lot for emergency vehicles; including police cars—both state and local—rescue wagons, a vehicle from the board of health, miscellaneous state of Connecticut vehicles, and the ambulance which is really parked in the road because there is no more driveway space for incoming vehicles. This is a Connecticut emergency overkill. One cop car and the ambulance would have sufficed. Who the hell are all these other emergency personnel?

Roger and his daughter want to leave with Roger’s car and George’s car, but they are unable to get out. A line of government vehicles blocks their pathway. In the meantime, one cop comes out of the house and calls to the health inspector who is walking up the driveway. His vehicle is parked near the end of the driveway. The health inspector enters the house and exits about three minutes later. He immediately condemns the house as unfit for human habitation. It’s also unfit for canine and feline habitation too. However, George’s ex-wife pays no attention to the department of health orders. After her stay in the hospital, she’ll just go back to the house.

As previously alluded to, just about every town and state official is on the scene. As George’s ex-wife is being moved to the ambulance via stretcher, she gets upset about leaving the animals alone. The EMTs have to carry her on the stretcher down the driveway. Emergency vehicles are blocking access for other emergency vehicles. Being present on the scene, the dog warden takes possession of her dog. The cat wants no part of this scenario. No one can catch the cat. The authorities tell George’s ex-wife that they would eventually catch the cat. This is probably a snow job to calm her down. Now, who the hell called the dog warden? Why is she here? Why doesn’t someone call the town clerk, the judge of probate, and the tax collector? Everyone else is here.

Now, it should be mentioned at this time that George’s ex-wife is a hypochondriac. She calls an ambulance about every couple of months and convinces the hospital to admit her for observation. Nothing is ever found to be wrong with her physically. However, mentally, she is a disaster. She is probably manic-depressive and a paranoid to boot. She is certainly not to be trusted. However, this time may be different. Observing her, it appears as if she might have had a stroke of some sort. The emergency room doctors can try to figure that out though. She is an expert con artist. She has buffaloed George and others for decades. George always believes every word she says. To listen to George, one would think that his ex-wife wrote one of the gospels.

After the ambulance leaves, now the road is clear for oncoming traffic. However, the driveway is still blockaded with emergency vehicles. There are calls to be made, reports to be filled out, decisions to be made, and time to be wasted. Organization is not one of the emergency personnel’s strongpoints. About three hours later, emergency vehicles begin to leave the property. Finally, Roger and his daughter are allowed to drive off in Roger’s car and in George’s car.

At Roger’s home, he discovers that George’s car is filled with junk from clothing to oxygen bottles. Ninety percent of it Roger brings to the dump. More time and money are wasted. He leaves the oxygen bottles in front of the carport so that the oxygen company can pick them up. Roger calls the oxygen company three times. The first time, the people claim that they couldn’t find them. They lied. If the personnel drove up the driveway, they would have seen them or driven over them. The second time, the people claim that there is no one home. The third call, Roger tells the oxygen company to take the bottles whether anyone is home or not. They are in plain sight. When Roger arrives home, the oxygen bottles are gone. Apparently, nothing goes according to Hoyle.

Now, the goal here is to liquidate George’s assets. So Roger drives George’s car to the dealership where it was originally purchased. He finds the used-car manager and explains the circumstances. The manager looks over the car and makes an offer; a low offer at that. Roger accepts the offer. Roger gives the manager a copy of his power of attorney. The process begins; so Roger thinks.

The manager tells Roger that he will send someone to the motor vehicle department to transfer the vehicle to the dealership. Since it’s a holiday weekend and since the MVD is closed on Mondays, the manager hopes to get it done by Tuesday or Wednesday. Well, it’s not that easy. The MVD has rules of its own. The MVD loves to throw Jersey barriers in front of people who are trying to get a job done. Roger should have realized that dealing with the motor vehicle department is a bottle of Tylenol. Nothing ever goes smoothly with the Connecticut MVD. The MVD has its own set of rules, and the rules are not written down anywhere. The commissioner of the MVD is like the south end of a northbound mule. If the MVD’s goal is to piss people off, it is doing a great job.

A week goes by. The manager calls Roger and says that there was no time to go to the motor vehicle department. He’ll take care of it in a few days. Roger feels that this is a stall tactic but can’t do anything about it. A few days go by. Still, the manager hasn’t sent anyone to the MVD. The manager makes another promise to get the job done. Apparently, the manager is long on promise and short on delivery. Finally, the manager does send someone to the MVD. Lo and behold! There’s another obstacle to overcome.

Chapter 2

The Motor Vehicle Department Blockade

The dealership manager calls Roger. Now Roger thinks that now he’s going to sign the final paperwork and that he’s going to receive a check. Think again, Roger! The manager tells Roger that the MVD doesn’t like Roger’s power of attorney. The MVD doesn’t acknowledge Roger’s paperwork. The MVD wants a short form power of attorney. What the hell is a short form power of attorney? It must be officially stamped, signed by witnesses, and must be signed by George. George is on his way to a convalescent home. Strangely, the manager has never heard of this short form power of attorney. This guy has been with the dealership for over thirty years and has never heard of the short form. Is Roger the first person who has ever run into this problem, not likely? Now, Roger is getting flak from the dealership manager and the MVD. Will Roger ever get rid of George’s car? He should have parked it in the carport and left it there. The MVD must have a contract with the makers of Tylenol.

Roger returns to the lawyer who originally drew up the power of attorney. This lawyer has never heard of a short form MVD power of attorney. This guy has been a lawyer for over forty years. How could he not have heard of this short form POA? So what happens now? The moronic Connecticut MVD will never relent in its effort to get its own way. That is a given. They want the form even though it may be ludicrous and does not even exist. George’s car is not being sold unless the lawyer comes up with this short form document. To make the situation more difficult, George lost the title to the car. Thus, Roger needs two short form POAs—one for selling the car and one for the new title which he will shortly find out. At this time, Roger doesn’t realize that he needs two short forms, and neither does the lawyer. The MVD must be purposely throwing up blockades to prevent Roger from selling George’s car. What else is new? In a little while, Roger will realize that he should have had George apply for a new title months ago. Oh well, George would have just lost the new title anyway. Can this scenario get any worse? Yes, it can.

Finally, the lawyer comes up with a short form power of attorney. Whether it is the real McCoy or a reasonable facsimile, only the lawyer knows. Since George cannot sign the document, Roger signs for him as power of attorney. Technically, George should have signed the document giving Roger power of attorney again. This part may not be entirely legal or aboveboard. The document is signed, stamped with a seal, and blessed by the powers of authority. But is this document real and legal? Roger doesn’t care. He just wants to end this ordeal. Roger drives back to the dealership with the short form. The manager sends someone to the MVD again a few days later. Certainly, this ordeal is now over. But it’s not. The MVD throws up another Jersey barrier in front of Roger.

The manager calls Roger again. Apparently, the MVD wants another short form power of attorney. Why? What happened to the other one? Nothing. The problem is the application for the lost title. The state of Connecticut requires two short forms. One is needed for the transfer of the vehicle to the dealership, and one is needed for the application of the lost title. Apparently, in the plethora of useless paperwork, state workers are unable to see the short form, which applies to two different issues. State personnel are acting like morons. That’s like saying that one needs two different driver’s licenses to drive two different cars. Logically, the short form should cover anything in the package of paperwork. However, the MVD wants two short forms. The MVD is law. At this time, one should mention that two of the governing bodies in Connecticut are the MVD and the judicial system which consists of greedy lawyers. What the hell is the state legislature doing? Doesn’t the legislature make the laws? Roger feels like he is a powerless of attorney.

Here’s where the manager makes a mistake. He says that he’s not going to let the second short form hold up the check. He expects that it will be easy to get a second short form. The manager issues Roger a check. Roger deposits the check in George’s POA account. The manager feels comfortable in what he did but will soon feel uncomfortable. The MVD is not the only one that has access to Jersey barriers. Roger returns to the lawyer.

Chapter 3

The Lawyer Blockade

Since Roger has copies of the short form without the seal, one would think that it would be rather easy to obtain another short form. Wrong again! The lawyer says that they must go through the whole process again. Roger already has a copy without the stamped seal. He presents it to the lawyer. The lawyer refuses to just stamp the copy with the seal. Are the lawyer and the MVD in cahoots? The lawyer says he’s too strung out to do anything now. If he wants to be really strung out, let him go deal with the MVD. He’s just too busy. He tells the receptionist to make an appointment for Roger when he’s not so busy. She is to call Roger for an appointment. Naturally, Roger never receives any phone calls for an appointment. Now, one should mention here that lawyers never return phone calls unless there is a big fat check at the end of the phone call. At best, here there is a very small check, if any at all. The lawyer has no intention of ever calling Roger again. All that guy has to do is to stamp Roger’s copy with the seal, but he wouldn’t do it. There’s no money in stamping an existing document.

Now, the manager at the dealership is beginning to worry. He calls Roger. Roger explains that he is waiting for an appointment. Roger suggests that he, the manager, should also call the lawyer. Roger fully realizes that this will be a fruitless effort. The manager does call the lawyer. The receptionist gives the manager; basically, the same snow job. He is too busy but will call Roger with an appointment as soon as possible. By now, Roger and the manager realize that the lawyer is not going to call Roger or the manager. By now, it’s the weekend. Roger plans to visit the lawyer on Monday morning. Roger knows that the receptionist will say that the lawyer is in court all day long. Roger will then call the manager and tell him what the receptionist said. For now, the short form is put on hold. Probably, the owner of the dealership is going to have to talk to this lawyer. The manager is also beginning to sweat. He’s already paid for a vehicle that still belongs to George. George has no idea what’s going on. He wants Roger to give his car to his ex-wife. The MVD won’t let Roger give it to anyone.

Chapter 4

The Gun Shop Blockade

Now, looking back to the gathering, a state cop tells Roger that he can sell George’s firearms to a gun shop or can transfer them to himself as power of attorney. The cop is sort of right and wrong. Roger has to sell George’s firearms to a gun shop or has to transfer them to himself. He figures that selling them to a gun shop would be much easier. Roger is wrong. Roger calls the gun shop. It is impossible to talk to the owner; the one with the Federal Firearms License. The owner doesn’t accept any phone calls from the dumb public.

Roger connects to a sales associate who knows less than Roger does about firearms in regard to power of attorney. The salesperson tells Roger that his power of attorney is not good enough. He says that the state requires additional paperwork, but he doesn’t know what paperwork is required. Roger realizes that this is a snow job because the salesperson is afraid of the words power of attorney.

A few days later, Roger calls again and connects to a different salesperson. This time, the salesperson puts Roger on hold while he supposedly calls the state. A few minutes later, the salesperson returns and tells Roger that the state won’t allow a gun buyback with his power of attorney. Somehow, Roger must transfer these firearms to himself and then transfer them to the gun shop. Roger doesn’t believe the salesperson even called the state. He probably just put Roger on hold for a few minutes. This cannot be the first time that the gun shop has dealt with a power of attorney. Roger thinks that the term power of attorney sounds frightening to the salesperson; therefore, causing him to lie to Roger. Roger doesn’t think he wants to admit ignorance. After all, he is wearing a gun.

The salespersons at the gun shop are wrong. They probably have dealt with power of attorney before but blew off that person as they did with Roger. Roger figures the gun shop personnel just didn’t want to deal with buying back firearms with a power of attorney. The problem is that Roger can’t connect to the owner of the gun shop with the Federal Firearms License. Roger wonders, Why didn’t the salesperson pose the question to the owner. Is he ignorant too? Roger’s only options are to hire an FFL person (Federal Firearm Licensed person) to legally transfer the firearms from George to Roger, or call the Connecticut firearms division and try to deal with them. Since Roger knows of no one with an FFL, except the gun shop, he decides to call the Connecticut firearms division. Dealing with the Connecticut firearms division can’t be any worse than dealing with the bozos at the gun shop.

Lo and behold, the salespersons at the gun shop do not know what they are talking about. In Connecticut, whenever anyone purchases or sells a firearm, the seller must call and receive a sales authorization number which is for a particular firearm with a distinct serial number. Such questions asked are as follows: (1) Is it a hand gun or a long gun? (2) What is the serial number? (3) What is the permit number of both the seller and buyer? (4) Are you a licensed dealer? Now, these questions are not difficult to answer. In this case, as power of attorney, Roger is both the seller and the buyer, but referencing George’s permit number.

Roger connects to a person in the Connecticut firearms division. He informs the person that he has power of attorney to transfer firearms from his brother, George to himself. Immediately, Roger is transferred to another person who handles power of attorney documents. She says that Roger must fax a copy of his power of attorney to her before any firearms transfers can be made. Roger complies. He gets the secretary in the lawyer’s office to fax the power of attorney for him. He short-circuits the lawyer. Since it is an easy task and since she wants to get rid of Roger, she faxes the power of attorney. She knows that the last person the lawyer wants to see is Roger. Apparently, all is going well so far. There are no Jersey barriers in sight.

It’s a long holiday weekend, so Roger waits three days for an answer. In Connecticut, there is a holiday for the MVD and other state workers almost every week. On the fourth day, Roger calls the same person to find out what’s going on. She says that she has an incoming basket full of power of attorney documents. This is really a good sign. He must have the right go-to person. She looks through the basket and finds Roger’s power of attorney. Since the document is eight pages, she wants to read it in its entirety. She tells Roger that she will call him back.

About two hours later, she does call back. Roger’s power of attorney document is in order. She attaches a note to his name and his handgun permit number so that he can sell George’s guns with his power of attorney. The only criterion is that Roger must inform the firearms division personnel each time he calls for sales authorization numbers. She also informs Roger that the gun shop was wrong to say that Roger could not sell George’s guns to the gun shop. She also tells Roger that he can sell the guns directly to the gun shop. He doesn’t have to transfer them to himself first. Roger feels like calling the gun shop but doesn’t feel like dealing with those single-digit-IQ bozos at the gun shop. So far, the Connecticut firearms division has been the easiest organization in regard to his power of attorney. One would think that Roger would receive the most flak out of the firearms division. It’s a good thing that the firearms division is not connected to the MVD. A major hurdle for Roger has been overcome.

Roger obtains the necessary sales authorization numbers and legally transfers George’s firearms to himself. It takes him several hours to do the transfers, but now, the firearms are in Roger’s name, and he can dispose of them at will. Now, he can sell them to whomever he desires.

The gun shop made Roger’s life a bit more miserable when they gave him this wrong information. Roger plans to sell the firearms to the gun shop at a later date, when conditions quiet down. Now, one might interject a thought here. Why is it so easy to deal with the Connecticut firearms division as compared to the Connecticut MVD and lawyers? Are the two gun shop salespersons that ignorant of Connecticut’s firearms laws, or did they just not want to deal with Roger’s power of attorney document? They must have dealt with this situation before. The gun shop has been in business for over thirty years. One cannot ask the owner, the guy with the actual Federal Firearms License. He can never be found. He does his talking through his employees who obviously are ignorant of the firearms laws. At this time, Roger doesn’t realize that the gun shop has another Jersey barrier for Roger to get around. He’ll soon find out.

Parenthetical interjection

Today is Monday. The manager of the local dealership is still looking for that second short form POA for the lost title. He calls Roger. Roger immediately drives over to the lawyer’s office. Lawyers don’t return phone calls unless they are greatly financially rewarded by taking the call. Roger encounters the receptionist. The lawyer is in court. Today is Monday. Remember? The receptionist tells Roger to return Tuesday morning at 10:00 am. He is to bring all his paperwork. This has been mentioned before, but since Roger has a copy of the short form without the seal, why can’t the lawyer just put his seal on the copy and make it official? That would be too easy. One would not want to expedite the paperwork. The objective here is to slow things down, not to accelerate them. Roger calls the manager of the dealership and informs him of his Tuesday morning appointment. The manager feels a little better now. Roger feels a little worse. He doesn’t trust lawyers. Since the lawyer won’t return the manager’s calls either, the manager’s only hope is that Roger can get that short form POA.

Getting back to the firearms scenario, Roger wants to get rid of George’s firearms as soon as possible because he has no facilities to lock them up. If there were any kids under the age of sixteen in