Irrevocable: Get Up. You're Not Done Yet.

By Jaclyn McQueeney

We have all experienced the gut-wrenching feeling of looking up from a season of great difficulty to find we don't recognize ourselves anymore. Perhaps a life-altering decision didn't go as planned. Maybe there were a series of compromises that led to an onslaught of questions ultimately leading to I don't know what happened.

We are human, and mistakes are inevitable. Even so, there is hope. We don't have to stay hidden in the shadow of our regret. There is no need to cower in the corner, submitting to unworthiness. Despite the depth or severity of the mistake(s), there is One who loves you. There is One who will still keep you. There is One Who is waiting to help you to your feet, dust you off, and endure the long road to recovery, asking nothing in return.

Throughout the pages of this book, there is a hope and encouragement in knowing you are not the only one. You will discover that even those who walk with God are still tempted, but they are also still covered by His sacrifice on Calvary. No matter your story, shortcoming, or hypocrisy, God still wants to use you. You have not fallen too far from grace. Your story is still redeemable, and your calling is still irrevocable.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jan 18, 2023
• ISBN: 9781685700423

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Irrevocable

Get Up. You're Not Done Yet.

Jaclyn McQueeney

ISBN 978-1-68570-041-6 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-68570-042-3 (digital)

Copyright © 2022 by Jaclyn McQueeney

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations are from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Introduction

It's Inevitable

Like a Cracked Porcelain Teacup

Proof in the Scars

So Are His Thoughts above Ours

Accepting the Invitation

Wait Well

With Shaking Knees and a Quivering Voice

The Welcome-Home Party

With a Splash of Real

Vindication

A Confidence That Could Only Come from the Crushing

It's Irrevocable

About the Author

To the hopeless who don't see a way out,

the defeated who have already given in,

the prodigal who is scared to come back home, and

anyone who has ever felt too far gone—

may you know there is so much more to come.

Introduction

Nobody decides to wake up, look in the mirror, and suddenly not recognize the person they see staring back at them. Yet so many of us, followers of Christ or not, have faced this reality at some point in our lives. The fact is, we live in a fallen world filled with fallen people, and that alone has consequences. We slowly begin to make compromises in our faith because other people say it is okay.

We begin to ignore that gut feeling telling us not to do something because it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. Before we know it, even if we walk with Christ, we can end up on a slippery slope to a valley we never intended to be. This can be a daunting arena of shame, doubt, discouragement, and worthlessness. Knowing that we knew better adds the weight of self-condemnation and feeling of incompetence. So many of us, especially Christians, struggle to make the first step in healing simply because we don't know how to explain ourselves.

This was a part of redemption I had never given much thought to until I found myself there. It was when I stood in a deep valley I didn't foresee coming that I realized how little this is talked about. To say we are desperate for redemption at salvation is an understatement, but I would argue that we need it just as much afterward too.

In truth, we are not Christian because we have figured it out; we are Christians because we have realized that we can't go this life alone. We are desperate for Christ and His mercy, grace, and unconditional love. This is spoken over us on the day we surrender, but what is often left out is how desperately we will need Him every day thereafter.

Redemption is not just for the lost who need to find their Savior; it is also for the saint who still resides in a fallen world surrounded by temptation. Satan would so love to keep us locked up in our jail cells of pride, not wanting to be authentic enough to ask for help or admit we were wrong. This is such a dangerous line to walk. As a whole, we must do our parts to step up and share our experiences. Scripture says that we will conquer by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimonies (Rev. 12:11).

The day I looked up from my valley and realized I was nowhere near where I used to be and not the person I thought I was, I questioned everything. I questioned myself, what I thought I had learned with Christ, and where I was going. I suddenly couldn't see a future. The woman so many had described as joyful could hardly smile without tears. It was the darkest few months of my life, and I felt like nothing but a hollow shell. But God.

He saw the truth, the good in me, and the valuable lessons I had learned even though I couldn't yet. He finally had me in a place where I was desperate to hear from Him and Him alone. What I saw as a person who was broken beyond repair, He saw as a person in a position to hear from Him. One day, He broke through the noise and ever so gently whispered four simple words that changed my life. This was never supposed to be a book. For days, He prompted me to write those words down. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore, and out came…

Chapter 1

It's Inevitable

I was worshipping at church on a crisp, overcast November morning when my soul suddenly became still and hyper aware of His presence. It had been a long, exhausting—in every sense of the word—few months.

There's not a lot that I know right now, I thought. I know that I love Him. I know that He's good. I know that I am supposed to trust Him, and I like to tell myself that I do. Other than that, I don't know anything.

I didn't know why there had been so many disappointments. I didn't know why so many curveballs had been thrown my way. I didn't understand why there had been so many repetitive situations that every time I thought I'd learned my lesson, something would come along to prove I evidently hadn't. But as I stood there in the worship service, something broke through my thoughts and attempts to remind myself of how He had previously been faithful. Suddenly, my heart heard the words: Your sunrise is coming.

Hearing His voice had become rare in this season of life, and at first, I thought it was my own mind trying to comfort my weary soul again. But there was a strength in simply hearing this. When He began to expand on the depth of what that sentence held, it became clear that this message was from my Creator. It was not something that could have been birthed or derived from my battered heart. It was not another desperate yet shallow cry to myself to keep going. It was shot from the bow of the one true almighty God, who knows the number of hairs on each of our heads, to pierce my heart, push me to dig into its meaning, and fully understand what He had so fervently been trying to make known:

Your sunrise is coming, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.

Sunrises and sunsets are often used in cheesy movies to indicate the beginning or ending of something, normally a relationship or season of life. So you'll understand my immediate thought of, ugh, you really need to lay off the rom-coms. Although that's probably true too, something inside made me pause on that thought.

I tried to dismiss it and continue worshipping, but then another epiphany broke through the noise: we do not control sunrises. They are not in our power to decide when, if, or how beautiful they will be when they happen. They are inevitable. Sunrises are going to happen every single day despite what we did or did not do the day before. They are going to happen no matter if we try to avoid them or run away to someplace unfamiliar. Sunrises will occur no matter the mistakes or wrong turns we make. We can count on sunrises to be one of the very few things in life that are consistent.

Somewhere along my journey with Jesus, I started to pick up lies that His plans are somehow hanging on my performance. That if I fail or—God forbid—make a mistake, it's all over. At some point along the way, I started to believe that I was more powerful than God, like I could actually make Him pick up His pencil and erase parts of the story He had written for me long before I was an earthly thought.

Thinking it through, I realize how untrue that is, but in the middle of the mess, it seems logical. Inspirational quotes about how one decision can change the whole trajectory of our lives are in every décor store in the U.S. From our perspective, there may be truth in it. But I beg the question: do our mistakes really change the trajectory of His plans for us?

Having known my God for more than twenty years and having walked with Him for nearly a decade, my conclusion is that He writes in pen. Romans 11:29 (NKJV) says, For the gifts and callings of God are irrevocable. Yes, we have free will and can choose to ignore His plans. But for those of us who truly want to know His calling or purpose for our lives, there is nothing we can do, no trail so far off the beaten path, that can keep us from His goodness and mercy.

We are human, and if anyone is aware of that, it's the One who gave up His only Son to right our wrongs before many of us had even committed them. In other words, He has already accounted for our screwups and blatant rebellion (not that any of us would do that, of course.) He's already written in the redemptive comebacks of our fearful running, hurting hearts, and fatal attempts to fix ourselves before coming to or back to Him.

Yes, I said back to Him. Inviting Jesus to be Lord and asking His Holy Spirit to inhabit us is vital and the only way to the Father. It gives hope and strength in situations that otherwise would be dead ends. However, having God within us does not take away our human nature. We are still prone to messing up; however, the difference is, now there's less of a chance and still hope when we do. I am not talking about a conscious choice to walk away or even backslide. What I am referring to are small compromises that, over time, become a big jump back from where we were.

I no longer identify as a sinner. I have been saved by grace and given a new name in Christ. However, to live in the deceit that I am somehow exempt from mistakes is a pressure and standard I cannot live up to, at least not while I have breath in this earthly shell. I am in no way downplaying the life-changing and redeeming power of the Holy Spirit.

Miracles have happened before my eyes, and hearts have been mended from the most scarring issues. He is all-powerful, sovereign, omnipresent, and changes lives with one breath. But if I were to leave out the part of the story in which Eve ate the forbidden fruit and all of mankind fell, I would be leaving out the other half of the story.

There is a reason we need the Holy Spirit, and there is a reason the most beautiful love story ever written—the cross and resurrection—came to fruition. It was in Eve's biggest regret and most fatal mistake, even as she walked in the presence of God Himself, that we see the most intimate display of love and redemption our hearts will ever have the privilege of knowing. It was her mistake after knowing God that we see the fullness of what it means to be redeemed.

We tend to think of redemption in terms of salvation, and oftentimes, we should. That is a crucial way He chooses to shower us with His love and grace. It opens up our eyes to the brand-new possibility of erasing the old and getting a second chance. This redemption revives our hope and gives us a purpose for the ins and outs of everyday life.

Even the term born-again insinuates how the impossible is now possible in Christ. It is the perfect summary for what this new life in Him means for us. There is suddenly hope for the hopeless, refuge for the weary, and a Father for the one desperate to be loved and cared for. It is the first glimpse we get of how undeniably real the raw, unrelenting love of the Father is as it brings new life to dry bones. There is no denying redemption in this initial heavenly welcome.

But that's not the end of the story. We live in a fallen world and are constantly surrounded by rampant sin. We would be remiss to think we might get away without ever being tempted. Even Jesus was tempted in the wilderness (Matt. 4:1–11). Although He didn't give in and sin, the Lord of Lords and King of Kings admits to being tempted by Satan.

Temptation and sin are very real, and Satan would love to catch us off guard in our ignorance. There have been so many, including yours truly, who have become overly confident and fallen because of nothing else but being caught off guard. One of my favorite sayings