Naked

By Daniel Panduro

The one-of-a-kind experience of an eighteen-year-old kid who is trying to figure out life. School, family, friends, and even his love life get in the way of his goals and dreams of being more than just an average kid. He fights himself over and over again thinking he just isn't good enough. No one brings him down like himself, but a few people think he has more in himself. He tries finding ways to cover his fears and insecurities, but somehow things always fall back on him and makes him move a lot slower in his journey. Being with girls always has been his way to cover up a lot of his pain and relieves him in many different ways. A lot of his life has been around girls, and this is where the story turns downhill. Girls always lead him to confusion and personal issues with himself.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Newman Springs Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Dec 6, 2021
• ISBN: 9781636928555

Book preview

cover.jpg

Naked

Daniel Panduro

Copyright © 2021 Daniel Panduro

All rights reserved

First Edition

NEWMAN SPRINGS PUBLISHING

320 Broad Street

Red Bank, NJ 07701

First originally published by Newman Springs Publishing 2021

ISBN 978-1-63692-854-8 (Hardcover)

ISBN 978-1-63692-855-5 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Good Times

The Process

High School Begins

My Good Friends

Roller Coaster

Racing Pulse

Ascending

Descending

The Realization

Better Days

Running Opportunities

The Overturn

The New Start

Good Things?

Final Year!

Hypnotized

The Falling Soul

To my brothers,

To all three of you, I love you guys. Words can’t explain the pain each one of you brings me. Even if it’s emotionally, spiritually, or sometimes physically, you guys have taught me how to live my life. You guys have been my biggest motivator to do better than everyone else—to push myself until I can pull the trigger on my own fears. It has been amazing to be living with you guys, and I wouldn’t trade you for the universe if I could. You guys are the best.

To my mother,

I have a few words for you. There have been many times where I have felt helpless, useless, and fatigued; and every time I feel these ways, seeing you makes me so much stronger and better. Many situations have made me feel fragile, and your worries and your past have helped me recover from many difficult situations. I will never forget your words of wisdom and your kind personality. Things get hard, and you are my motivation, me thriving and striving to be better. I’ll end this with an I love you, Mother.

To my father,

I can’t say enough words to thank you. The world is too small to give you, and the universe is too far for me to reach. The things you do for this family are unexplainable. Your patience and your heart are priceless. Your forgiveness is amazing, and you are someone I admire. You have been driving for a better life since you were young, so the best way I would like to make this up to you is by doing the same. I want to be the top dog; I want to drive you forward how you did with us. I have been striving to be your superhero one day. I love you with all my heart, Father.

To my friends,

Let’s push one another to do better. We live to die, so let’s live today. Live with passion, not regret. Time won’t stop for us, so let’s live before it runs us over.

Good Times

Since I was a little boy, I had always wanted to be a leader. I knew I was growing up to do something different, something amazing, something life-changing; but I never knew it was going to change me like this. I have always liked speaking my dreams into existence because dreams are called dreams for a reason. I have strived to be something different; I don’t want to live my life in regret. I rather do it than live with that what if. I don’t want to live my life feeding some stranger or packing boxes. I want to change people’s lives, even if it is for the good or bad. Well, my name is Daniel Alexis Panduro. I am currently eighteen years old, and I am glad to be alive. I would like to explain to you what high school is like—in my perspective. There are many different emotions and physical stress that come with high school. High school at first sounds fun—a new start, a new beginning—but it isn’t. It is a shithole. Well, maybe because I made mine one, but high school isn’t your only worry. You also got family and sports. After a while, I say you get used to it and just learn how to deal with it, so it gets better. The progress you make is incredible because, honestly, high school changes you for the better.

Now me, I was born in the general hospital near Boyle Heights. I grew up in Boyle Heights my whole childhood years before we started to move around. Being such a big Mexican family, it was hard to find anywhere to live. We are nothing but guys in my family; we are four guys with both my parents happily married—I hope so. They fight like every other couple, they have their petty moments, and sometimes one leaves the house; but they have hung in there and raised four wonderful children. We lived in Boyle Heights for about six to seven years—well, counting since when I can remember. We moved to a little apartment in Chinatown, but I was little, so I really don’t know why we left from there. If you would have told me to guess what the reason was, I would have guessed it was because we were four kids in a small room, the neighborhood was weird, and I think my mom didn’t like the school we were all going to. We lasted there about a year and moved to South Central Los Angeles. We have lived in South LA ever since then, and we have been living here for more than ten years and counting.

Running, jumping, falling, learning

Things were better then

We are an extremely loud family; we cannot go anywhere without people staring at us or people laughing at the stupid-ass shit my brothers do and say. My parents get annoyed by it because we don’t know how to shut up. Moving here was such a big change—the diversity, the danger. The status of income over here is so much different, but it is my home now, and I love it here. My whole family already got used to it, and we don’t mind it here. It is honestly amazing; there is every type of food here. You name it, we got it. We have a little of every race, and we just learn how to interact with people, sober or not.

I have a big family coming from my parents and siblings. First, my parents. I live with both parents, and they have been together since I can remember. They have been there through my ups and my downs. My mom—her name is Mayra, and she is forty-one years old. She has been my caregiver, and she is the best mother I could’ve ever asked for. She is amazing and super cool; we have a bond as if she’s my best friend. My mother is my one and only. She has been everywhere because of me, and I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else. My father—his name is Oscar, and he is forty-three years old. He is super hardworking; he is my motivation to wake up and strive like I do. He is such a king. He has dealt with every single one of us; that makes it hard not to love him. He is just super amazing, and I have met no one like him before. I couldn’t ask for better parents.

My brothers—I have four brothers, and I love each one differently. First, my oldest brother, Oscar—he has been through so much in his twenty-three years of life. I have learned from his mistakes, and he showed me what kind of people not to hang out with. He is very, very funny; you cannot go anywhere and not smile when you are with him. He is tall, a bigger build, and he has glasses and is superslow—well, I hope he only acts that way. Second runner-up is Javier; he is my older brother. He is twenty-two years old, and he is really loud. He is such a great brother. I have talked more to him and his girlfriend, and they are such a power couple. His girlfriend is such a great person; she knows part of my story. I have talked to her like a friend. Javier has been around ever since I was born, so my bond with him is unbreakable. Finally, my younger brother is eleven years old, and he is a sweet kid. He has been the funniest and most energetic kid I have ever seen. He is a big kid at eleven years old, and he weighs as much as me—like, that’s crazy. He is dark and short, so it makes him look funny. Overall, every brother has taught me different lessons and different points of views on their lives. I love each one with such a passion, I have no idea what I will do if I lose one. Then there is me, an eighteen-year-old kid just trying to figure himself out. I am a skinny fellow; I am passionate, a thriver, a giver, and the biggest idiot you will ever meet. I am writing this book to figure myself out—to find out where I went wrong, where I started to feel like I am better off alone—so my mistakes and I want you to learn from them.

You can change friends, not family

Love your family; they’re your biggest blessing

I always have let music influence how I feel or how I want to see my life. Eminem was the first artist who helped me go through things. His music always made life a bit easier. The things he says about his life and how the world is always against him. I would relate to the lyric, and what his life was like. If he lived and he still pulled through, why can’t I? Another artist who influenced my childhood was 2Pac. He is such a legend; his music made me see my family and the world so different. He didn’t rap about sex, money, or drugs. He talked about real-life issues; he talked about how life is and how it treated him. Me growing up where I did helped me realize that we aren’t completely lost. They are such great artists. I always felt really cool listening to