No Longer Common: When Ordinary Is No Longer Enough

By Kerry A. Clark

Most individuals are going to find themselves in the “normal” trap.  He or she has dreams and aspirations for more but will allow “normal” to talk him or her out of it. The purpose of this book is to expose “normal” for what it is, open the eyes of those who read it to see that ordinary is no longer enough and provide insight into how to make an ordinary life, extraordinary.
This content is arranged based upon these five life’s growth areas:
1. Our life. Having an uncommon home, education, and personal life.
2. Our work. Unconventional work habits, business ethics, and career building.
3. Our spirituality. Becoming unlike anyone else.
4. Our interactions. Impacting more than just yourself.
5. Our relationships. Loved like no other.

After reading No Longer Common: When Ordinary Is No Longer Enough, readers will leave with the following insights:
Understand what it means to be normal and why it holds one back from becoming their best.
See the impact “normal” has had and what would be possible if one applied what’s uncommon to their home, education, and personal life.
Uncover what popular thinking has done to keep one from standing out with unconventional work habits, business ethics, and career building.
Be aware of the limitations culture applies to one’s personal religious experience and help shed the fear of having to follow another’s path to true spirituality.
Learn how to impact more than just oneself and truly become a contributing member of society.
Have relationships others envy exemplifying love like no other.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: May 6, 2021
• ISBN: 9781098041618

Book preview

1

Normal Is No Longer Working

Most people think normal is the way to be.

If you think normal is okay; it’s not. Normal is the person who doesn’t win the game. Normal is the person who doesn’t make the best grades. Normal is the person who fails to get the degree.

Normal is the family that can’t find a way to get along with each other. Normal is the person who works another man’s dreams all his life. Normal is the person who lives life without ever being herself. Normal is the person who puts on a mask to make others accept and like him. I can go on with this for days.

Normal finds its way into every part of our existence and no one ever questions it.

The point is, normal is no longer working. It never worked. Society, other normal people, and even the devil want you to remain normal. They all want to hold you back, keep you under their control, and make sure you remain normal.

This brings up three thought-provoking questions:

How did I become ordinary in the first place?

Have I fallen prey to being like everyone else?

If everyone is ordinary, then what’s wrong with being ordinary?

How did I become ordinary in the first place?

Normal began the day the first man decided to do something without God. The absence of God in any area of our lives will produce normal results. Separation from God [sin] produces normal. He isn’t normal. He isn’t like anything else. He’s not like anyone else. He is unlike anything you will ever encounter. When the first man separated from God, he introduced this new behavior that today shows up in our lives as normal, or better stated, unlike God.

Have I fallen prey to being like everyone else?

Yes. You have fallen prey to being like everyone else—common. The simple reason is because you didn’t know not to do such. You’ve never been taught any other way to be. Anytime you live any part of life (let’s make it personal, your life) without God, you have made that part of your life common.

If you selected your college major without God, you went down a common path.

If you allowed how you performed in school to dictate whether you’ll be a success or not, then you allowed common to prey upon you.

If your relationships with others look like relationships you see around you, then you’ve fallen prey to common.

Even in church, if you’re having similar results in life and share similar experiences with those around you, more than likely you’ve become prey for common.

If everyone is ordinary, then what’s the problem with it?

The problem with being like everyone else is that you know the outcome already but don’t want to accept it. You know your friends’ relationships are suffering, and you see similar signs in your own. You see your friends’ financial troubles, and you too have financial problems. You see results in others that you are having yourself. You’re just in denial.

The problem with being normal is that normal sets ceilings for your life and your situations that God didn’t set.

If you haven’t realized it yet, being normal is no longer working.

2

Why Would Anyone Want to Be Average?

We use words like:

Normal

Average

Ordinary

Common

Like my friends

Like my coworkers or colleagues

In fact, the first and most crucial years of your existence were spent making you fit in, like everyone else. The educational system—run by people just like you—wants a society that makes everyone appear to be the same.

Why would anyone want to be average?

We use words like normal, average, ordinary, common, like my friends, like my coworkers or colleagues, and so on.

These words and others just like them are a part of our normal conversations. But should they be? I want to argue that these words should be eliminated from our vocabulary.

Normal:

It speaks of being typical or conforming to your surroundings. Do you really want to be seen as typical?

Average:

It implies you sit in a central position. It means you’re just like everyone else.

I’ve often heard that you’re the sum total of your friends. If you have five friends, try adding up their worth plus yours and divide by six. That would be your worth. Worth in this case could mean talents, skills, financial disposition, etc. Is that you? Of course, it is, whether you want to believe it or not. Are you comfortable with being the average of your current friends?

Ordinary:

It implies that you have no special or unique features that set you apart from the rest. In essence, there is nothing, not one thing, that makes you stand out. Would you say you have no special qualities?

Common:

It suggests that you are a familiar type. That would mean you are so predictable that every statistic speaks of you. Are you a target because you’re so common that everyone can anticipate your responses and actions?

Like my friends:

We say I’m like my friends many times as a defense mechanism. Birds of a feather flock together.¹ What we’re really saying is that I’m making an excuse for not being greater than the people in my circle. We use it as a crutch to remain in our comfort zones and limit our own personal growth. Are you allowing your friends to excuse your greatness?

Like my coworkers or colleagues:

We mention that we have behaviors like our coworkers or colleagues. This phrase implies that we hide within the crowd to remain a typical employee, even unethical at times. We use it to remain a just-get-by employee when there is something more inside of us. Are you hiding behind your coworkers?

These words are commonplace and placed upon us at the earliest ages like shackles on the legs of a slave. In fact, the first and most crucial years of our existence were spent making us fit in like everyone else. We went through grade school learning to get in line and to be like the rest of the class. Our family made sure we conformed to normal graces. They taught us what was politically correct or, in other words, commonly acceptable. As far back as you can remember, you were socialized to be the same as everyone else. Same type of house. Same type of neighborhood. Similar attire. Similar job.

The process works this way. When a normal person interacts and teaches others, what we get is a society of normal people, who wish to make everyone appear normal. The devil has played a very good card in the game of life. He has made us believe throughout time that we should be ordinary. The problem is, God made us all to be extraordinary.

Why would anyone want to be average?

I did a little thinking about this. The only time a person settles with being average, mediocre or normal, occurs when we’re in the presence of others, especially our social circles. Any other time, a person would never desire to be considered average. Ask yourself this question: Why would I want to ever be average? Who sets out to have a goal of being common? What would make me want to be like everyone else?

3

The Involuntary Fight to Be Different

We fight hard to outdo the people in our circle. Each individual wants the best home, best car, best family, the best job or the best appearance.

There is no one on the planet that wants to be less than anyone in their circle.

No one wants to be at the bottom of the list. When we can’t be the best, the coping mechanism is called average.

Have you ever wondered why…if we all want to be normal, we fight so hard to be different?

The great contradiction to being normal.

Contradictory to what everyone wants us to think—that we all want to be like everyone else—we fight hard to outdo the people in our circles. Each individual wants the best home, best car, best family, the best job, or the best appearance.

Being like everyone else is like being in prison; we’re forced to do and be like everyone inside. I’ve even noticed children and teenagers who must wear uniforms to school who try all that’s within the dress code to make their uniform look different from everyone else’s. Again, contrary to what we think, no one desires to be like everyone else. And we’re constantly trying to break free.

The least in the circle.

There is no one on the planet who wants to be less than everyone in his or her circle. How would you feel if you were considered the least in your circle of friends? You’d probably find a new circle of friends where you at least blend in. The point is this: You’d rather be the best in your circle, but you’d never remain the least. Somewhere deep inside of you, you desire to be the greatest. The only problem that you have is that if you’re afraid to be great, you’ll only settle for being the average of your friends.

Being at the bottom of the list is out.

No one wants to be at the bottom of the list. When we can’t be the best, the coping mechanism is called average. In order to not be last, we often settle for being average, even though the goal is to be the best. We use the word average as the excuse for why we couldn’t break free from our enslavement to common. Even when your last name starts with the letter z, it’s not a good feeling to be at the bottom of any list. Have you ever been chosen last? I can’t ever remember being the last person picked to be on any team. However, if there was ever a team selection where I’d be last, it would have been in the game of basketball. It’s just not a sport that matches my unique skill sets. Even when a person expects to be last, there is nothing within us that desires to be last. In this situation, where we know we’re last, we desire to be first and since we can’t, we’ll settle for being average—like the majority.

Freedom isn’t for the normal.

Normal people are content with what makes everyone else just like them. Even if it means remaining incarcerated when being released is within reach. Common is the prison that incarcerates free people every day.

One of our favorite movies, Shawshank Redemption, illustrates this best. The characters who were released from prison, Brooks and Red, thought of ways to break their parole so that they could return to Shawshank prison where they could once again become normal. Even when we’re in the worst situations, instead of being great, being common is the easiest solution. Freedom is something that an uncommon person seeks. Andy Dufresne—back to Shawshank—wasn’t a normal prisoner. He was unlike any of the rest; he refused to be institutionalized. He proved that freedom wasn’t for