Marriage in Every Book of the Bible: Why God Chose Marriage to Illustrate His Love
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About this ebook
Marriage must be on your mind. Otherwise, why would you be reading this back cover? Perhaps you’re engaged, or a newlywed, or a marriage pro—regardless—God’s Word contains all the information you need about how to have a godly and successful marriage.
Do you know that every single book in the Bible has something to say to us today about marriage? Most of us know the familiar passages like 1 Corinthians 7 and Ephesians 5. But in every book? Yes, instructions for a godly marriage abound from cover to cover. And why does God put such great emphasis on marriage? Because He uses the metaphor of marriage to illustrate His boundless love for the children of Israel in the Old Testament. This intense love moves into the New Testament personified in the heavenly bridegroom’s unconditional love for His bride, the church.
From the moment God created the institution of marriage in Genesis 2:24 to the ultimate consummation in Revelation 19:7, we sense His exceedingly abundant love and concern for marriage.
Since marriage originated with God and was ordained by Him as a good thing for mankind, it is imperative that we listen to His words more than anyone else’s. “Marriage in Every Book of the Bible” is excellent for personal study or can be used in a classroom or group setting.
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Marriage in Every Book of the Bible - Karen F. Norton
Copyright © 2023 Karen F. Norton.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by
any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system
without the written permission of the author except in the case of
brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
WestBow Press
A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
www.westbowpress.com
844-714-3454
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or
links contained in this book may have changed since publication and
may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those
of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher,
and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are
models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
Author photos by Barbara Havard and Oh Snap Photography, Lufkin, Texas
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New
International Version, Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.
ISBN: 978-1-6642-8341-1 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-6642-8340-4 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-6642-8342-8 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2022920804
WestBow Press rev. date: 1/24/2023
CONTENTS
Dedication Page
Genesis
Exodus
Leviticus
Numbers
Deuteronomy
Joshua
Judges
Ruth
1 Samuel
2 Samuel
1 Kings
2 Kings
1 Chronicles
2 Chronicles
Ezra
Nehemiah
Esther
Job
Psalms
Proverbs
Ecclesiastes
Song of Songs
Isaiah
Jeremiah
Lamentations
Ezekiel
Daniel
Hosea
Joel
Amos
Obadiah
Jonah
Micah
Nahum
Habakkuk
Zephaniah
Haggai
Zechariah
Malachi
Introduction to the New Testament
Matthew
Mark
Luke
John
Acts
Romans
1 Corinthians
2 Corinthians
Galatians
Ephesians
Philippians
Colossians
1 Thessalonians
2 Thessalonians
1 Timothy
2 Timothy
Titus
Philemon
Hebrews
James
1 Peter
2 Peter
1 John
2 John
3 John
Jude
Revelation
Prayer of Salvation
Other Books by Karen F. Norton
30096.pngI’m writing a book on marriage,
I replied when asked about my current project. Her mouth said, That’s nice.
Her expression said, All the world needs now is another book on marriage.
I couldn’t agree with her more on both responses!
Soon after God created man, He designed marriage, and His divine plan for marriage began to unfold. Just as every story in the Bible either foreshadows or reflects the Son of God, Jesus Christ, every book either points directly or alludes to the marriage relationship. We see it in the Old Testament between God and the children of Israel and in the New Testament between the heavenly bridegroom and His bride, the church. Therefore, we can learn how marriage between a man and woman is supposed to work by gazing deeply into these relationships. God uses the intimate beauty of marriage to illustrate His great love for mankind. Marriage is tremendously important to God. Your marriage and my marriage are near and dear to His heart.
Answer this question: Why do you read the Bible? The answer can be found in the pair of glasses you put on. Often, we read through the lens of His blessings (What’s in it for me?). But there are many other lenses depending on our interest at the time. Some examples are salvation, holy living, God’s sovereignty, leadership, finances, end-times, healing, etc. The list is endless. At times we may read the Bible through the lens of self-justification, because we don’t want to change and want to convince others that our actions and lifestyle are acceptable when in reality, they are not. Now that’s just wrong, yet we’ve all done it to some degree. Many times, in God’s great mercy, He will show us truth about Him and ourselves we are not expecting. That’s a good thing. Embrace it. But the best lens of all is the What do You want to say to me today?
lens. We should wear that pair of glasses more often.
For now, I challenge you to put on the marriage lens glasses as we read through God’s Word together. You will see that in each of the sixty-six books of the Bible, God includes instruction and guidelines for marriage, in some books more than others. Marriage in Every Book of the Bible highlights a few of the values I consider critical to a successful and blessed marriage. You will discover other guiding principles unique to your marriage and family as you read through God’s Word.
Marriage in Every Book of the Bible is not a quick-fix or B-12 shot for marriage. It will not make your marriage an overnight success. It won’t provide a reprieve and then you’re back to the same old same old.
There is no easy step 1-2-3 included here for an efficacious marriage, but a blueprint for a lifestyle. It may not be what we want to hear, but it’s what we need. The best blessed marriage for all of life is possible. However, it will take work, commitment to God and spouse, and submitting to God’s plan for marriage. Don’t let that four-letter word scare you. Anything worth having is worth the work required.
I don’t know about you, but I want to know everything our creator God has to say about marriage. I understand that the most crucial and intimate relationship I will ever have and should ever have is with the Lord Jesus Christ who loves me so much more than any human could possibly love me. The second most important relationship that will ever exist in my life should be and is the one I have with my spouse. Therefore, I go to the Biblical narrative to discover God’s divine plan for marriage. After all, more than anything, I want to hear and truly know what God has to say, for He is my solid and unchanging rock. The world, on the other hand, wakes up to a different definition for marriage every day, otherwise known as shifting sand.
Marriage is the perfect practice field, training ground, and laboratory for learning to be more like Jesus Christ. We’re not on our own to try and figure everything out. He has given us His manual, the Bible, to teach us everything we need to know. We must read and follow the directions, because opportunities and do-overs abound in marriage! God knows we need lots of practice in humility, sacrifice, forgiveness, patience, kindness and unconditional love. Don’t ever quit. God doesn’t give up on us. If intimacy and growth are not happening in the marriage of two believers, it is probably not happening in their individual relationship with God and His Word either.
At times, marriage can be painful. Jesus completely understands that pain and frustration because He is the heavenly bridegroom, and His bride (you and I as believers) are far from perfect. He still loves us. Marriage is a heart and spiritual issue.
Discussion on marriage from each book of the Bible may not come from the familiar passages we typically use to teach on marriage. The goal of this book is not to regurgitate studies on marriage already done but to establish the truth that the entire Bible reflects the importance God puts on marriage between a man and a woman as it coincides with God’s plan and love for Israel and the church. In doing so, I seek to interpret Scripture with Scripture.
God uses various analogies (i.e., shepherd, king, warrior) in Scripture that are rich in symbolism to draw attention to and explain to us in a language we can understand who He is, His character, and His great love for us. No greater illustration exists than that of marriage. We all have witnessed a husband and wife in our lifetime. All over the world in every era and culture, there is marriage. More people can relate to the marriage union (good or bad) than can personally relate to a shepherd, king, or warrior.
In this book, we will look at marriage as portrayed by Biblical husbands and wives. What did they do right, and what did they do wrong? Is marriage different today? If it’s in the Bible, it is for our learning. One truth is certain: God’s idea for marriage has never changed. His Word contains timeless and unchanging principles that never need tweaking. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever
(Heb. 13:8).
If Jesus is the golden thread throughout Scripture, marriage is the silver strand. So, take your spouse by the hand, and let’s go on a mining expedition together and look for those tiny shimmering slivers of truth enclosed within Scripture. Easily overlooked, they contain much wealth that will enrich a marriage. We tend to look for the bigger pieces in the picture, chunks we can brag about. But what about those sparkling specks that quickly glisten when the light hits just right? If we blink, we miss it. Lord, don’t let us miss those gleaming bits that are so important to our life’s picture. Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures
(Luke 24:45).
Are you ready? Let’s dive into the Word of God and bring to the surface those sparkling truths which will help us in our relationship with our spouse.
Karen F. Norton
December 2022
DEDICATION PAGE
I am truly blessed to have been married to Gene Elwin Norton since June 9, 1972. In my eyes, he exemplifies the heavenly bridegroom so well, and I resemble the bride or the church who is so much less than perfect. Yet Gene still loves me immensely and unwaveringly. His love for me is solid and unconditional even after all these years. I’m thankful for his love; it reminds me of Christ’s love for me. Gene should be writing this book!
GENESIS
IT’S BIBLICAL TO CUT THE
UMBILICAL CORD
30070.pngG enesis 24 is the perfect place to start this study. Eliezer, whose name means God is my help
is Abraham’s trusted servant. In verses three and four, we find Abraham instructing his servant, I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac.
Eliezer is a type for the Holy Spirit who draws people to Jesus. Abraham, whom God made the father of many nations
(17:4-5), is a type for God the Father. Isaac is the son of promise (Rom. 9:9) and foreshadows Jesus Christ, while Rebekah prefigures the bride of Christ. Abraham had given everything he owned to his son Isaac whose bride must be from his own people with whom he had a relationship and not from the world of Canaan, a bride pure and holy before God, one not idle but busily occupying (24:16) until the day she sees her bridegroom. And so, must we (Matt. 25:10).
However, these were real people, and they were all less than perfect in life just like us. I must admit there are so many good examples of how to do and not do marriage in Genesis that I found it difficult to choose just one story. The same goes for parenting. Genesis is filled with so much dysfunction that it’s scary how closely it resembles twenty-first century living. Why does God include the good, bad, and ugly in His book? For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope
(Rom. 15:4). Hope. It’s what I need when I have royally messed up and life seems over. I find forgiveness and hope for a better day in Jesus Christ alone.
Let’s begin with the marriage of Rebekah and Isaac. So they called Rebekah and asked her, ‘Will you go with this man?’ ‘I will go,’ she said
(24:58). Rebekah was serious. She agreed to sever completely close ties with her mother and father and travel to a faraway land to marry a man she had never seen. This action illustrates the importance of God’s order for marriage: leaving, cleaving, and becoming one. Since Adam and Eve, this has been and always will be God’s perfect plan. However, couples today often undertake step three first thus adding pain, heartache, and confusion into the picture minus God’s blessing.
Here it is, plain and simple: That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh
(2:24). It’s God’s precise order. Often when a couple rearranges the holy order, the umbilical cord remains connected. This in itself creates a host of problems for the couple who should be intent on establishing their own home. For marriage to work, both husband and wife must loosen their ties with their families of origin and establish clear boundaries with those families; and at the same time, form new ties within their marriage and home.
This is not to say that a husband and wife should be completely isolated from their families of origin. Each of us has a responsibility to honor our parents for a lifetime (Ex. 20:12). But we must create and protect clear boundaries with our parents in order to have a strong and autonomous marriage. Before marriage, my parents were just under God in priority in my life. After marriage, my husband moved into that second position, children in third, parents in fourth place.
What can we glean from Isaac and Rebekah’s parenting skills? When the men of that place asked him about his wife, he said, ‘She is my sister,’ because he was afraid to say ‘She is my wife.’ He thought, ‘The men of this place might kill me on account of Rebekah, because she is beautiful’
(26:7). Isaac’s father, Abraham, had used the same lie (12:19). Isaac’s son, Jacob, lied to him (27:19). Jacob’s sons lied to him (37:31-33). A parent’s sin often becomes a child’s stumbling block. No good parent wants that.
Has this ever happened to you? You’re having an argument with your spouse, and you’re in each other’s faces. Suddenly, you feel a tiny human squeeze between you and see sad little eyes look up at you. Aware or not, you’re teaching your children how to do marriage. Those little eyes and ears see and hear so much more than we think they do. There are better things than sin and lying to impart to the next generation in your home.
The doctor severs the newborn’s umbilical cord, because that baby has now become separate from its mother. Husband and wife must also be independent of their parents. By the way, rear your children to be healthy independent individuals, capable of making good decisions and providing for themselves so when the time comes, they are able to leave the nest with no strings attached. You should want that for them.
CONSIDER THIS:
Why does God include the sins of the heroes in the Bible? (Rom. 3:23).
God, the creator of life, created the divine order for marriage. He is also the re-creator
of life when we need forgiveness and help getting on track with His plan.
Are there areas in your life where you’re still connected to your parents more than you should be, thus creating stress and problems in your marriage? Should boundaries be constructed or reinforced to ensure the peace and health of your marriage?
Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Jacob’s sons were all caught in lies. We don’t help God with our lies. He doesn’t need our help. However, He does want us to trust Him and His Word.
EXODUS
BRIDEGROOM OF BLOOD
30058.png"A t a lodging place on the way, the Lord met Moses and was about to kill him. But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son’s foreskin and touched Moses’ feet with it. ‘Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me,’ she said. So the Lord let him alone. (At that time she said ‘bridegroom of blood,’ referring to circumcision)" (4:24-26).
Moses, his wife, and two sons were traveling back to Egypt in obedience to God’s command. But along the way, the Lord met Moses and was about to kill him. Why? Could it be that Moses had not obeyed the Lord’s command of covenant relationship with Him in circumcising his sons on the eighth day of their lives? How could Moses hope to lead others successfully into God’s will without obeying God himself first? God got his attention.
His wife, Zipporah, knew what Moses had not done, and she knew what she had to do in order to save her husband’s life. So, she acted quickly and circumcised at least one of her sons on the spot. It wasn’t pleasant or something she wanted to do. Moses should have already taken care of this. But she did it anyway because it was the right thing to do.
She threw her son’s foreskin at Moses’ feet. She let him have it, literally and verbally. "Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to