My Secret Garden

By Melanie Jane Ladgrove

The transformation of becoming a psychic medium came from lots of hard work and determination throughout journey in life and business.
I was passionate about business, growth, and success. But I now realise was just a number. Like everyone else. I was locked my secret garden, a garden full of secrets, secrets and trauma that need to be shared to assist others with mental health and life’s struggles, maybe even your business struggles.
As a business owner, I became particularly vulnerable as I assisted young adults who were building their confidence and competence within an unregulated industry.
I struggle with mental health issues along with many. I simply found it difficult dealing with feelings of insecurity or envy from others.
.
- Tall Poppy Syndrome

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Jan 11, 2023
• ISBN: 9781669833864

Melanie Jane Ladgrove

I was an empath and many took advantage of me. I am an honest, loving, truthful person but I am not perfect. I'm a nobody now. Yes, just the owner of Browology Pty Ltd. A director of a company which I built from scratch. From my garage in Roxburgh Park. The child who experienced divorce, seperation, strict parenting, abused, sexually assaulted and more. This story is about taking my life back. Once and for all. I deserve it.

Book preview

Copyright © 2023 by Melanie Jane Ladgrove.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 01/09/2023

Xlibris

AU TFN: 1 800 844 927 (Toll Free inside Australia)

AU Local: [phone] ([phone] from outside Australia)

www.Xlibris.com.au

847319

Contents

Insight

Only Child

Violated

Unconditional

Blindfolded

Soul Mate

Beginnings

Home Sweet Home

Numbers

Work Life Balance

Breakdown

Admission

The Road

Shadows

Industry

Home Away From Home

Journal

Road To Nowhere

Bitch Day

Grateful

This Is Me

You And Me

The Secret Garden

Permission To Shine

Sunshine On My Shoulders

Sunshine On A Rainy Day

Back Seat Of My Mind

Rear-View Mirror

My journey in life and business.

The past that invaded my present,

The present that invaded my future.

This is my story,

A story about abuse and trauma,

A story about how I chose to

take back my life.

People throw rocks at things that shine.

Taylor Swift

40524.png

Insight

Becoming an author was not my plan. But I started journaling to release my anxiety. It was not on my agenda. But I was told I would write, travel, and have wealth.

Just enough for us to be happy.

I didn’t trust the process; I didn’t trust myself. I trusted others.

This is a book about releasing trauma and releasing negative energy. I can now release, relax, and breathe again.

I deserve to be happy again. I deserve to be me again.

It’s not about others’ perceptions of you. It’s about them as people. How others view you as an individual is something you cannot control.

I was perceived as a mentor and inspiration, so I was told. I chose to have a career which focused on my passion. If I was passionate and loved what I did, I would then succeed.

I chose an industry that I loved as it was an industry that I had been in for over 30 years. I worked from the ground up. And I did become successful however what was the true meaning of success for me? It was all about happiness and joy. Providing a service to add confidence and beauty to someone’s life. But I was always about the inner beauty. Revealing the beauty behind the perfect brow. But my business became less about brow restoration and more about beauty and all facets of the industry including cosmetic tattoo. I became aware that the very moment I introduced cosmetic tattoo it was something I could no longer do alone. I was on my own and could not keep up with the demand. My business was no longer about me but employees. Would I ever employ again. That’s a question for the future and the universe to answer as I now choose to work alone.

And I am grateful, but I needed to slow down the process. Stop running. Stop pushing and trying to prove myself to an industry that didn’t deserve me. Stop trying to be accepted. Stop choosing others over myself.

This is about how many betrayed me. People no longer supported me, especially when I needed them the most. Some didn’t love me enough to care. And many who took advantage of my family and me. It is all about those who contributed to the fall.

I was told I was crazy, confused, disillusioned, and even psychotic. I was an empath, honest, loving, and truthful, but I am not perfect. No-one is perfect. Because perfect does not exist. I wanted to be a good person. I thought I was. I considered friend. That was my mistake. I trusted too many.

I may be the past owner of a successful business. A salon within the beauty industry, but I have a story to share. Not because I want to expose those who betrayed me but because it is relatable to many. But there is another side of me, the side that remained hidden. There was always just me behind my business, however I also had a family. A family who I needed to support financially and mentally.

It may look easy from the outside looking in, but what happens behind the scenes is what many cannot see or choose not to see. Many forget that behind a small business owner is a family—a family who has worked just as hard. I created my success because I did work endlessly, not having precious time with family and friends, but I was building an empire, a future not just for me as I was accused of. I was determined to create a haven for my team and their families. I had a team of employees who I treated like family, I contributed to their success by providing them with the skills and knowledge. Knowledge from training that I created and training in which I paid for. But the result of me being so generous backfired.

The business was a large part of my life. Almost 30 years, but it was prior to business that my life began. A life of separation, divorce, abuse, sexual assault and manipulation.

Now I choose to take back my life; I deserve it, as my journey is about myself and my family. It is no longer about those who hurt me. It is not just about business, but my business was a huge part of my life. Almost ¾’s of my life to date.

I have been blessed with intuition and abilities that many don’t have, and it was my gut feeling that kept pushing me. I don’t have regrets, but I have learnt many lessons and walked many paths. Paths that were a part of my journey. My abilities revealed themselves to me like a a tidal wave and this had repercussions. I changed, my outlook on life and business changed along with how I viewed people in my life. I was super sensitive, and I could feel the energy of others more than ever. It now was the time to communicate with my inner child. To forgive and forget those who had harassed, abused and manipulated me. Intimidation is threatening and the behavior of many became more visible. I needed to make necessary changes due to many reasons and these changes alone caused disruption. Unfamiliar territory for those who were in my life. Accepting my abilities was horrifying. But somehow, someway, I knew this would eventually happen. But I failed as I could not control or even understand what was happening.

I would not be where I am without the guidance and influence from many people. I am thankful but I am also relieved to now know the truth about family and friends. The truth has a way of revealing itself. The truth has set me free, because I know the truth, and this is my story to share.

I have always given my heart, love, and support to many, but I never seemed to receive what I needed in return. I gave others what they needed. But not myself; if I did, I would only be disappointed with myself for giving too much.

I stepped out of my comfort zone to reach for more, I deserved more as I had always been a friend to many friends who didn’t have my back. I have been mentally abused, physically abused, and I was sexually abused. I have been manipulated too many times to mention.

I have experienced heartache, grief, disappointment, And mental breakdowns. I suffer from anxiety and depression. A medical condition that still has a stigma, a dark cloud that impacts far too many. We are always advised that we have support but it’s not the support we need when we need it the most. Mental Health may not be visible to many but its is in there waiting, waiting for the right/wrong time to surprise you.

I needed to release all the negativity in my life and only accept positive energy to fill my tank, and it is my tank that will keep refueling. I am now taking back my life.

I have experienced many highs, but the lows are the memories I have had to face and untangle. Mental Illness is a never-ending roller coaster ride of emotions.

I did suffer a breakdown, a mental/ nervous breakdown. Or was it a mind-blowing collapse of consciousness? It the time to deal with my past and move on. My time to deal with my inner child.

I required hospitalization for what I refer to as a manic episode. But I am okay. I am healing. And I am determined to release my past and start a new life—a new journey.

My Secret Garden is my release of my inner child and her past. The past caught up with me. My past I now can now leave behind and start anew. I am on a new journey, a new path. I will no longer look in the rearview mirror.

I now trust the universe and believe in myself. And I am proud to have achieved so much on my journey.

My family has been my constant support, my rock and my greatest achievement. I have always had the constant guidance from mediums as I always felt connected, and truth was always spoken. My current medium and friend understood me and was aware of all my personality traits. It was her who was there for me when I was discovering who I was. The old me and the new version of me.

I dedicate this book to my family, medium and to all victims and survivors of abuse.

I was an only child. I did have kind of like a lonely existence.

Robin Williams

40541.png

Only Child

I came from the housing commission and was raised by my single mother, who constantly worked to provide for us. This is where it all started. A life as an only child with my mother.

The commencement of my journey in life.

My mother who worked endless hours to provide for me. We did not have child support like today and relied on government support. I grew up without a father but was lucky to find a new one to fill the void until I reunited with my own. My biological father.

I grew up in a northern suburb outside of Melbourne and it had so much to offer me. I was an only child and friendships were the ultimate gift. It was friendships that I cherished.

In primary school I was popular, I had great friends and it was in Grade 5 where I had my first boyfriend. He was that popular kid, and I was the fortunate one. However, his best mate was also interested in me. The names perfectly clear. But little did I realize I broke his heart. He would continuously ask me to choose him. But I withheld from pursuing anything but friendship. I carefully selected boyfriends. I was confident, happy and sure that I was going to have the