As Long as I'm the Princess......

By Geneva Davies

I am Geneva! My feelings of self don't align with the body I inhabit. I was born male but am, and always have felt female. The problem with being born male is that my parents and everyone around me in society had automatic expectations about how I should look and behave so I was effectively trapped in a male body. 
The remedy for my situation sounds easy: Acceptance. 
Acceptance of being transgender and acceptance of being in the wrong body, acceptance of my place in society. 
The road to acceptance is long and often torturous for transgender people. For me the journey is worth the sacrifice because I've realised I can't survive any other way. 
For others, it's not so simple. Having a friend, partner or family member who is transgender has flow on effects one can never predict. As a transgender person I feel guilty about the stress placed on family because they are forced to either accept or tolerate me. Sometimes I present as female or at least as female as I can while inhabiting a boy body. Other times I look much as I have for decades. Acceptance is absolutely totally fucking difficult, but essential. A small morsel of acceptance displayed by friends and family can be literally life saving for a transgender person.

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Geneva Davies
• Release date: Jan 1, 2023
• ISBN: 9798987572009

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copyright © 2022 by Geneva Davies

All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-0-9912978-9-4

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The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional when appropriate. Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, personal, or other damages.

Some names and identifying details of people described in this book have been altered to protect their privacy.

As long as I’m the Princess I don’t give a shit!

Geneva Davies

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Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.

Coco Chanel

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Our time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.

Steve Jobs

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No matter how far away from yourself you may have strayed, there is always a path back. You already know who you are and how to fulfill your destiny. And your ruby slippers are ready to carry you home.

Oprah Winfrey

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You change the world by being yourself.

Yoko Ono

Before you spans a tale........

A modern tale set in the twentieth century a true story.

A tale of a brave knight, a girl, and a mirror; a plain ordinary mirror framed in white, a mirror possessing special powers.

This is no story for the faint of heart and is not intended for children or those suffering, because it deals with adult themes including suicide.

Once upon a time, on a green hill, in a land not so far away, lived a little girl.

Her name was Geneva.

For many years Geneva dreamt of freedom. Escape beyond that which confined her. Freedom of expression, freedom to live outside the expectations placed on her by others.

She wanted to run, dance, sing, and laugh... live her life, but she was afraid to be seen. Geneva knew she could never fit into the world inhabited by her parents. She knew she would never be beautiful enough to win the heart of a dashing prince, because she was not as beautiful as her sisters. She possessed a great secret.

She longed for her Prince Charming.

Usually, a girl of her ilk would simply be delighted at being a little girl; wearing pretty dresses and learning the art of being a woman (bear with me... this is not misogynistic).

Geneva should have expected to grow into a young woman, budding the promise of beauty. Instead, Geneva spent her time alone. Afraid to be seen.

She pretended to be free; dreaming things she could do, places she might go. Instead, she lived watching through the lens of someone else. Geneva hid and observed.

As time went by... along came a kind and gentle knight called Sir Geoffrey. Sir Geoffrey’s sole job and reason to exist was to protect Geneva.

Sir Geoffrey built large walls, defences, and a huge tower. A tower so secure no one could reach Geneva to harm her.

Battlements thrust to the sky, battlements so tall one could not see the castle from outside and these battlements were surrounded by impenetrable moats, ditches, and thorny forests. Sir Geoffrey never mentioned Geneva, ever.

So good at his job was Geoffrey, that no one knew Geneva existed.

She became accepting of her plight and stayed out of sight, drinking in the world through Geoffrey’s eyes.

One day she looked into a mirror. She saw a woman, a free woman, a smiling happy woman. Geneva realised the image in the mirror was her. She was shocked, she longed for freedom but knew it could never be.

She could never escape the bonds which held her. Could she?

My Story

I could never hope to be a princess or even a cis gender woman because I inhabit a body carrying a penis.

I am transgender! I really didn’t want to open with the ‘good evening I am ???’ thread, but it’s true.

I used to be called Geoffrey and now I’m not. I’m letting you into my world and being totally honest with you. All I ask is that you keep an open mind and be nice. You never know, you might learn something about transgender people, and you might just learn something about yourself along the way.

This whole story could confuse you and that’s OK. My life confused me, and it took me fifty-nine years to find my clarity and truth. This story is one of healing and one of being reborn, becoming the person I always was but was never allowed to be.

To help you understand I’ve included explanations of some of the terminology at the end of the story in case you want to know more or to help you navigate the story.

What it means for Me!

I am Geneva!

My feelings of self don’t align with the body I inhabit. I was born male but am, and always have felt female. The problem with being born male is that my parents and everyone around me in society had automatic expectations about how I should look and behave so I was effectively trapped in a male body. The remedy for my situation sounds easy, acceptance.

Acceptance of being transgender and acceptance of being in the wrong body, acceptance of my place in society.

The road to acceptance is long and often torturous for transgender people. For me the journey is worth the sacrifice because I’ve realised I can’t survive any other way. For others, it’s not so simple. Having a friend, partner or family member who is transgender has flow on effects one can never predict. As a transgender person I feel guilty about the stress placed on family because they are forced to either accept or tolerate me. Sometimes I present as female or at least as female as I can while inhabiting a boy body. Other times I look much as I have for decades. Acceptance is absolutely... totally fucking difficult, but essential. A small morsel of acceptance displayed by friends and family can be literally life saving for a transgender person.

To Start... a little history.

Fairy tales are just that, a fantasy. I guess no one really believes them in adulthood, but when we were read stories as children, they seemed quite real. When I was young, we were told about Santa Claus and my parents went to extremes to uphold the fantasy. I found out when I was four that Santa Claus was a myth promoted actively by parents. I was let into the adult world