Gender Queer: A Memoir

By Maia Kobabe and Phoebe Kobabe

In 2014, Maia Kobabe, who uses e/em/eir pronouns, thought that a comic of reading statistics would be the last autobiographical comic e would ever write. At the time, it was the only thing e felt comfortable with strangers knowing about em. Now, Gender Queer is here. Maia’s intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma and fundamental violation of pap smears. Started as a way to explain to eir family what it means to be nonbinary and asexual, Gender Queer is more than a personal story: it is a useful and touching guide on gender identity—what it means and how to think about it—for advocates, friends, and humans everywhere.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Oni Press
• Release date: May 28, 2019
• ISBN: 9781549307515

Maia Kobabe

Maia Kobabe is a nonbinary, queer author and illustrator from the Bay Area, California. Eir first full length book, GENDER QUEER: A MEMOIR, was published in May 2019. Maia's short comics have been published by The Nib and in many anthologies including THE SECRET LOVES OF GEEKS, FASTER THAN LIGHT Y'ALL, GOTHIC TALES OF HAUNTED LOVE, SHOUT OUT, ADVANCED DEATH SAVES and BE GAY, DO COMICS. Before setting out to work freelance full-time, e worked for over ten years in libraries. Eir work is heavily influenced by fairy tales, homesickness, and the search for identity.

Book preview

Reviews for Gender Queer

[Thomas Eric Dietzel · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

So many times I found myself thinking, "Well that's how I often think and feel". I liked that it was artistic and done with comics and could put me at ease.

[kcasper3276 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I wouldn't suggest this book if you have unresolved gender issues that you are currently unable to attend to, but I would suggest it as soon as you are able and ready. Amazing memoir. Heartbreaking and heartwarming. Incredibly unique.
I've heard this book referred to as a "guide", but it seems to be a book of questions people rarely seem to consider, and how this author made sense of them.

[Dee · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A wonderfully vulnerable, deeply personal account of growing up nonbinary. Resonant, honest and raw. The kind of book tweens and teens need and deserve.

[H Kler · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Different lives and different perspectives are always important to learn about. After all, we all still bleed the same when we are cut and I hope, many more kids will get to read em's book

[thomasalfredgrossenbacher · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

This pedo book needs to be removed. This is pure pedophilia.

[Kamilla Directed by · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The most amazing story I ever read. It felt like I finally arrived to a home I always wanted to find. As someone who always struggled with the same topics and stuff it’s the first time I found some comfort.I will re-read it for sure and I can’t say enough of how thankful I’m for this small piece of comfort ? the story is amazing and the art is fantastic.This book will be part of my bookshelf for sure and I will recommend it to all of my friends and future friend ?

[Kate White · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

My first experience of graphic literature was a success.

This was such a cheerful, hopeful and informative book about a person's journey to find peace as non binary. The colour pallet was lovely and bright.

I would recommend this as a useful starting point for anyone wanting to learn more about what it is to be gender queer.

[Lily Poe · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I downloaded this app specifically so I could read this book because it appeared on the "most banned books" list for schools in the United States. While yes, this book discusses sexual topics, its nothing that a middle schooler/high schooler wouldn't already know. In fact, this book felt uncannily similar to my experience growing up. Books like this are so important for adolescents to understand that their experiences are valid and that people like them do exist and have space in the world.

[Ashley McClelland Yuckenberg · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A delightful coming of age book about a nonbinary person navigating eir truth. Something that can be hard to do when children don’t have role models around them. This book should be available as young adults learn about their body, and who they are. A far better example than what students can find online. I enjoyed the science explanation, the discussion of role models, and discovery of the LGBTQ+ community.

[Madalena Afonso · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

That was absolutely perfect!! Loved the story, the artwork, the emotion and honesty behind it, everything. A must read for everyone, queer or not.

[bumblybee-190414 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Gender Queer is a graphic novel memoir about the author's journey through gender. Following Kobabe's growth to adulthood and beyond, the story is told primarily in small moments that make a big impact. The art style, lettering, and coloring are all wonderful and make it feel like you're getting a glimpse into someone's private journal about their experiences. Kobabe does not flinch to tell eir truth, and as a result this graphic novel has and will no doubt continue to be important to others who have similar experiences. Regardless of one's gender identity, though, there are plenty of moments to make the reader laugh, cry, and feel throughout. Thank you to Oni Press and NetGalley for providing a copy for review.

[Tori · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book/graphic novel was beyond insightful. Hearing the author speak about eir thousands of thoughts, questioning and reasoning was so comforting. I had my own realization of myself and what I identify as, and reading this made me feel so validated. I will always recommend this book to whomever may be going through similar circumstances. I loved this so much.

[bodagirl · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Kobabe's memoir is so blindingly insightful that it is no wonder conservative parents are trying to ban it. Eir story of discovering eir queer identity resonated with me, as a not very sexual person who reads erotica, and for the sections that I didn't personally connect with, eir explanation of how e felt couldn't have been more clear. The medium of comics helped with the clarity and a few of the panels (i.e., first pap smear) are stuck in my brain.I appreciated the inclusion of eir family's different reactions to an identity that is pushing against the norms even more so than transgender identities seem to. The final few panels, when e was teaching children about comics and realizing e could be that representation for the next generation was so powerful - it was a bit of a meta moment holding the book that could possibly spread that representation farther than eir individual classrooms. (Hopefully I used the Spivak pronouns correctly).

[Crystal Bics · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

How is this for children??? This is vile and terribly inappropriate for kids!

[jennybeast · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is a great book — Maia’s personality is very appealing and eir willingness to be honest in public and on vulnerable topics is inspiring. I feel like it helped me to better understand what other people might be going through on their identity journey. Loved the drawing and storytelling as well.

[Flynn Fullbright · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book is so lovely, i read it in one sitting. The whole time i was waiting to get to the horrible parts that all the transphobic “book burners” are making such a stink about but i didn’t come across anything over pg13 rated or anything I wouldn’t show to my teen and tween nieces and nephews should they want to read a cool graphic novel about a nonbinary person’s journey to discover eirself.

[jack fisher · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Despite the reactionary (and predictable) foaming at the mouth by those who pretend to care so much for children, the book gives a much need voice to those people excluded from the national “discourse.” I gladly give it 5 stars, and will make sure I give it to several family members who feel no one listens or understands the LGBTQ+ experience.

[Suzanne Fielding Paul · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book was interesting I have had some of the thought in this book. The dreams as a youth this really resonated with me. Also this actually has helped me understand pronouns more.

[Bianca Montierro · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Just balancing out the forces of evil. This book is eir truth. And it is a wonderful and insightful read. Thankful for em who are brave to tell eir queer journey.

[Manuel Chavez · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

The drawings were nice and the plot was interesting and made me want to continue, but I just don't really like the subject very well.

[Tina Amos · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

Should not be allowed in any school! Pornographic and subject matter little children should be seeing or reading.

[James Locklear · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

This book should not be part of any public school library for children. It literally contains pornographic imagery and references to powerful narcotics such as oxycodone and Valium. This book should be burned!

[tapestry100 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Happy #pridemonth, y’all! I’m starting off my month long queer reading celebration with Maia Kobabe’s GENDER QUEER, from @onipress. In this intimate graphic memoir, Kobabe illustrates eir struggles, both personally and societally, with coming to terms with being both nonbinary and asexual. Kobabe is very frank in eir depiction of what ey went through during eir journey, and I greatly appreciated this frankness. As someone who struggles with their own gender identity, I found this book both enlightening and cathartic. It helps to know that I’m not alone in these struggles.Unfortunately, GENDER QUEER has come under fire from multiple conservative fronts recently, with some government officials in Virginia going so far as to not only trying to ban it from schools and libraries, but to make it illegal for bookstores to sell the book, and to make it illegal for residents to even own the book. Why? Because this book speaks openly and beautifully about the possibility of being different from the “norm” and showing that the gender binary is an absurd notion. It’s frightening to me to see this level of hatred for those of us who are different, which makes it even more important for us to raise up books like this and pioneers like Maia Kobabe, so that our younger generations of queers know that they are not alone and that they have a place in this world.Absolutely recommended.#books #bookstagram #book #booklover #reading #bookworm #bookstagrammer #bookish #read #booknerd #bookaddict #bibliophile #booksofinstagram #instabook #bookaholic #bookshelf #booksbooksbooks #readersofinstagram #reader #booklove #instabooks #frommybookshelfblog #frommybookshelf #queerbooks #happyreading #queerbookstagram #queer #pride #memoir

[Cox Joan · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

I think it is a disgrace that this has been allowed to be published. it deserves 0 stars. athis will confuse the children who read it as much as much as the person who wrote it. What a mixed up confused person you are. God made only female and Male for each other and to procreate the world. just what canyou contribute under a cloud of pretense.

[danny de melo · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

This book should not have won any awards and should not be in any schools. To put it bluntly, it's trash. I heard about the controversy and decided to see if it was over exaggerated, it was not. Would not recommend.

[fred_mouse · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I've heard a lot about this memoir, and I've been meaning to read it for years. Very pleased to have done so.

[vancouverdeb · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This was sort of a BB from Janet here in the 75's. She gave a shout- out to Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story Unfortunately my library did not have that book. However, I found this graphic memoir, Gender Queer. Maia is assigned female at birth, but never feels comfortable in e body. Maia struggles with e sexuality. Is e male or female , or non-binary ? E is also asexual. This was fascinating and touching look into gender identity.. I understand so much more about this topic. Highly recommended.

[griffin_reads · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The experiences Maia shares throughout the story of eir life were super impactful to me, as it brought out memories I did not even know I had and allowed me to connect through my own gender journey. The illustrations are super cute and well-drawn, and add to the emotional experience reading the book.

[ewyatt_16 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Maia explores er identity from early life through young adulthood. I wanted to read this book after hearing about all the challenges to the book. A heartfelt exploration of the author trying to figure out and define gender, pronouns and sexuality. Presented in a straightforward, heartfelt, and a critically reflective presentation of life experiences. Impactful, insightful.

[bell7_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Maia Kobabe explains eir process of coming to terms with gender and eir own gender identity as non-binary and asexual.This is honestly fantastic. It describes the author's journey from being assigned female at birth and having crushes on both boys and girls, to learning terms like bi and trans, and working through eir gender identity and finding pronouns that made sense. It's also about the awkwardness and challenges surrounding coming out as non-binary to various people (family, friends, strangers) and correcting misgendering. There are frank, matter-of-fact discussions of masturbation, OBGYN appointments, and sexual encounters but nothing overly graphic. I could see this having a lot of crossover appeal with high schoolers and young adults dealing with all sorts of identity questions.