My Life, My Way. The Conditioning.: Winter Solstice, The Spring Clearing

By Carmen James

The meanderings and twists and turns of real-life told through the poetry of a crazy mind… or am I sane? You decide…

What if I told you all is not as it seems…

What if I told you this is the land of dreams…

Dive inside, come on, let’s see… the twists and turns of the life we see.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Jan 6, 2023
• ISBN: 9781398460102

Book preview

About the Author

Carmen James was born in Northeast England in the 1970s.

Times were tough, money was tight. But the love, strength and determination that she learnt from the people around her, gave her the tools that helped her to survive, and grow in a broken world with systems that seem to only benefit the few.

After years of training, working on herself, determination, stubbornness and a will to fight for what is right. Carmen hopes with this all her future writings to help others to find their strength and the power of positivity that she has used throughout her life to become the person she is today.

A loving mother, A proud grandmother and the change that is most definitely needed.

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my beautiful daughters, without whom, I know, I would not be the woman I am today.

God gifted me with two of the most precious humans on the planet to love, guide and cherish.

Thank you for your patience over the years with me, and recently, as I paid so much more attention to my book than you both; I know this was hard.

I thank the Universe for trusting me with the honour of being your mum and your guide.

To my grandsons,

You are more precious and loved than you know.

To my Magic Man,

(The one in reality, 😉 you know who you are.)

I could dance in your energies all night long. You have helped me more than you could ever realise.

Thank you.

🙏

To my main Man

God/The Universe/The ultimate life force energy,

Thank you for the gifts you have given me and for the freedom to help others in all I do.

To Gill Conway,

I thank the universe for honouring the planet with this woman. One of the most beautiful souls I have ever had the pleasure of knowing and someone I look forward to working with more and more over the years to come.

To Amanda Joy,

Thank you for all you do and have done for me.

You are just awesome.

Copyright Information ©

Carmen James 2023

The right of Carmen James to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

All of the events in this memoir are true to the best of author’s memory. The views expressed in this memoir are solely those of the author.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781398460089 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781398460102 (ePub e-book)

ISBN 9781398460096 (Audiobook)

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published 2023

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd®

1 Canada Square

Canary Wharf

London

E14 5AA

Acknowledgement

I would like to thank everyone who has been part of these crazy beautiful creations, and, to apologise to anyone who was or has been affected and dragged into the download, and witnessed what I can only presume, must have seemed like some crazy ass bitch…

I can only apologise.

I am thankful that those who know and love me were/are aware of and trust in my abilities.

I thank you. 🙏

You cushioned my journey as you watched me spring clean my mind…alchemising the hidden, the sacred and the lost that needed my one final understanding and love to release.

I thank you. 🙏

An organised mess… a chaotic beautiful mind-blowing mess of exploration and a well needed clearing…

The following experience describes what I’m doing in my subconscious mind… My beautiful library of my mind.

Meet My Dad…My Superhero

My dad was in the navy. He had taken on the mountain of crap that came with us wild Geordie kids when he married our mum (we were 9 and 11 years old).

At 21 years old that must have been such a frightening experience for him.

I thank you dad for all you taught us and for never giving up/in when we needed your strength.

You are my superhero…

The love you have shown us all has never faltered even in our hardest times…

We were being little shits, Dad had asked us to clean our room. We refused.

If you are/were forces. You know what came next.

Yep, he had turned that room on its arse.

‘Now clean it up…’

*Lesson 101 —

There are more ways to skin a cat than to beat it.

The kinder, gentler way…

Lesson learnt very quickly. 🤣😂

Thank you, dad.

🙏

The Fool, No More

Fumbling words and sweaty faces

Creeping in, in different places

Listen to the lies they weave

To control

To deceive

Think of the time when you were free, coming into reality…

Coz from the day that you were born, your life they’ve taken, burnt and torn…

So brush it off however you need, and follow me as I take the lead…

We’ll weave and play in all their faces

Whilst singing along to their airs and graces.

Dancing in a newfound vibe,

Showing them we’re still alive

Creating our world in all we see

Making it a reality.

Deception has always been the key

Into your minds reality

De-create what they have taught

For they know not and do not see

Past 3D reality, the land of the free

Ha! Please not me

All that glitters is not gold

These are ways of being controlled.

Preface

In all of my creations you will see, I will explain things from…

My perspective… Now… As I am…

‘Vibration Carmen’—Frequency Truth.

Someone else’s perception of me:

‘She may be bat shit crazy, but she speaks sense.’

My perception of this

’I am sorry I bamboozled your brain/arse but, thank you

for taking whatever resonated with you at the given

moment in time…’

My Neurologist’s perception of me:

‘Your mother knows her stuff.’

My reply to this,

‘Why thank you, I look forward to working with you in the future.’

This is what happens when you allow your mind to free flow into reality…for this is the creation of a beautiful crazy mind…or am I sane, 🤔 you decide.

A lifetime built up on metaphors, teachings, experiences and guidance on all levels.

The Release

Am I a little bit crazy… ‘Hell yes!’ Society would say.

Ha-ha! Do I give a flying footnote…’ Hell no…’

You cannot stop god’s plan, you see.

Now that it is in reality.

I am having fun playing in the truth

I can feel your anxious breath

That is fear I say

At what is at play

And

What you might regret

The lion’s gate

The dragon’s den

Hide and seek

Or count to ten

We have these buttons they are there you see…

They’ve been switching off your reality…

So, we are joining the dots, connecting the lights,

So you can shine with all your might…

Be the change you want to see

Build your new society

It’s ok to be scared, it’s ok to cry

This is the release of ego to guide.

Your Mind

Your mind is your most amazing tool…

Learn how to use it…

Learn how it works and

Learn how to be in control of

YOUR biggest friend…

YOUR biggest enemy…and

YOUR biggest creator.

For anyone who has had drugs, is using drugs or is thinking about taking drugs…

They will eventually kill you, whether that be in the physical form or in the taking of your beautiful mind.

Vision—Alice in Wonderland falling into the unknown—

I can honestly tell you that your mind is the biggest and

ONLY drug you will ever need.

You do not need drugs.

You do not need alcohol.

You just need to learn, how to alter your mind state. How to change your vibrations, sharpen your senses and develop your mind with the tools we are given, in the right way.

*Please do not try any of the techniques I have personally used or that I mention without help or guidance from a person or persons fully trained and highly recommended in whichever field you would like to experience.

Be it, that they have years of training, experience and knowledge or via certification,