The Non-serious Guide To Bengali Food

By Arpan Roy

Humorous, quirky and clever, The Non-Serious Guide to Bengali Food by the author and creator of the immensely popular page and property, The Bong Sense, is your answer to everything you've ever wondered about Bengali cuisine.

Inside this guide, you'll learn, among other things, "the ancient art of cooking a fish", find the answers to questions like "what is a full-blown bengali feast like?" and find out all you need to know about the "mighty roshogolla". From the obsession with fish to firm opinions on biryani, the book also delves into the historical and geographical background of popular Bengali cuisine.

• Language: English
• Publisher: HarperCollins India
• Release date: Nov 30, 2021
• ISBN: 9789354891830

Arpan Roy

Arpan Roy is a former atomic physicist based in Singapore who discovered his passion for writing humor during his PhD. Although away from India for the last two decades, he nurtures an almost academic curiosity about India society and culture. Creator of Bongsense and Columnist for CNN Arpan has also created Bongsense, a page to chronicle Bengali culture in bite-sized illustrations and doodles.

Book preview

SO, SERIOUSLY, A BOOK ONLY ABOUT BENGALI FOOD?

I was born Bengali. The fault for that lies mostly with my parents. Being Bengali, I was born without the athletic ability of the Punjabis, the business sense of the Gujaratis or even the subtle piety of the Tam-Brahms.

Despite my limited physical size and muscle mass, I, like the rest of my clan, have a severe addiction to food. Sure, we are found in book readings in an Oxford bookstore somewhere asking pointed questions, or in dusty second-hand bookshops, but eating and appreciation of food is what unites us.

I must confess that the sole motivation behind me surviving the dullness of a corporate job is so that I can afford an array of yummy food. I would have blown off my entire monthly salary on food if my significant other was okay with us living on the streets, in hand-me-down clothes, yet surrounded by delicious food.

So, since eating is the singular motivation of my life and everything else is a side effect of that, why not write an entire non-serious book about food?

I want to explain passionately how a good mutton biryani can cure unhappiness and how the Japanese have nothing on us when it comes to fish. With my diet rich in meat and fish, I will not be spending too much talking about vegetables and quinoa, which gives some vegans moral high ground taller than Everest.

Also, my dear modern men, do not expect recipes here to impress your significant others so that you can come back to the bed after weeks of sleeping on the living room sofa. Unfortunately, this is a pure appreciation exercise of Bengali food, not a shortcut to solve your marital problems.

A LITTLE BIT ABOUT MYSELF...

You probably picked up this book with a lot of expectations from the writer itself. You expect a writer-chef combination like the great Anthony Bourdain, a crossbreed between a cocaine-snorting rockstar and Descartes like philosopher writing this book. Maybe it is written by an expert chef like Sanjeev Kapoor with his Khana Khazana and his mysteriously disappearing mustache from the late ’90s. Or perhaps this has been written by that Iranian lady from Salt Fat Acid Heat who puts a ton of yogurt in everything and calls it her heritage.

Unfortunately, I must disappoint you massively. I am not the greatest of writers. I wish I could describe sunrise penetrating the thatched houses of a dusty Indian village with a delicious cocktail of words extending over a few paragraphs. Kurta-wearing humans would then love to read my book at such meets where the air is heavy with intellectualism, coffee, and cigarettes.

All I know is that I love eating, and I have been considered humorous under some circumstances. These circumstances may have been under the heavy influence of many glasses of Old Monk or Black Label. Finally, I am also Bengali, so talking about Bengali food should come naturally to me.

I was born in south Kolkata, the ground zero of many things Bengali and heart disease. The air of my childhood was heavy with fried oil and fumes from diesel generators in the shops around my area. My childhood medical reports would have shown more trans fats in my body than muscle mass, thanks to my diet.

I never grew tall, famous, or became good at any sport. The only way for me to let the world know that I exist is through the terrible jokes I have been making all my life.

Once I slipped into adulthood, I became one of those despicable creatures who fly to India during winter like seasonal birds and expect their relatives to worship them. Yes, unfortunately, I settled down in Singapore and became an NRI. For me, it was less of saying things like India has so less productivity and more about missing Bengali food, especially street food and biryani.

I am married to an extremely Punjabi woman who deserves to be in the Oxford dictionary with the caption: The person above is a Punjabi woman; note her fierceness. At some point, we might have some confused hybrid offsprings who will grow up writing blog entries about how they have never belonged anywhere and why it makes them sad. This book would make them aware of the delicious Bengali food that exists and why their father probably suffers from frequent heartburn.

So, you have a book ahead about Bengali food, which hopefully will make you giggle and snicker as you read through it. I must warn you there are some graphs and charts ahead that might make some of you woozy. I apologize in advance; this is a result of fifteen years of intense scientific education.

BENGALIS AND FOOD

Pythons often eat so much or a prey so large that they cannot move for days. I remember memories from a heavy midday meal, after which I