Sleeping between Giants Book 2, Ask a Terrier: Professional Advice from a Licensed Dog

By Dave Jaffe

Winner of the 2021 International Book Awards for Humor and the Indies Today 2019 Best Humor Book Award, author Dave Jaffe’s first book, Sleeping Between Giants: Life, If You Could Call It That, With A Terrier, explored the highly successful, though often confusing relationship between Giants and Canines.

In that book, we were introduced to Budleigh, a young terrier who had ended up in a shelter after his arrest by police in Waukegan, Illinois, on charges of vagrancy, loitering, and panhandling, which were false, and of being a homeless dog, which was true.

Adopted by the author and his wife, this cunning, intelligent, and fleetingly thoughtful, Canine was proof of those old adages, “Smart as a Terrier” and “Did he break the skin?”

In this sequel – Sleeping between Giants, Book 2 – Ask a Terrier: Professional Advice from a Licensed Dog – Budleigh, the Terrier with ‘Tude, is back; this time dispensing crucial advice to Giants and Canines on everything from space travel and sniffing Covid, to giving a TED Talk and shopping for purses.

As one reviewer wrote, “Budleigh is the Dear Abby of pooches. Or maybe Dear Abby is the Budleigh of advice columnists.”

Through essays and cartoons created by the author, learn what’s going on in the mind of your Canine and why it’s just as odd as what going on in yours.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dave Jaffe
• Release date: Dec 6, 2022
• ISBN: 9781734192537

Dave Jaffe

Multiple national award-winning humor columnist Dave Jaffe has written for print, television, radio, and online. Creative, clever, witty – these are traits that kept Dave in detention for most of the eighth grade. But as an adult these skills led to hundreds of columns, TV and radio commentaries, and books.Dave’s work has appeared in a wide range of outlets, from HumorOutcasts and HuffPost to National Public Radio and The National Lampoon. Dave even wrote sketches for Bozo the Clown, although a merciful History has forgotten the “Bozo Juggles Invisible Chainsaws” bit.Sleeping between Giants, Book I: Budleigh, the Early Year was Winner of the 2021 International Book Award for Best Humor and the 2019 Indies Today Award for Best Humor. In its Five-Star review Indies Today wrote, “Dave Jaffe’s obvious love for animals is matched by his talent for writing. Sleeping with Giants will make you laugh out loud with the author’s Seinfeldian observations on life with a terrier.”Dave’s blog, Sleeping between Giants, received multiple awards for humor blogs from the National Society of Newspaper Columnists. His humor columns and commentary have twice been honored with Peter A. Lisagor awards by the Chicago Headline Club, the Parenting Publications of America Gold Award for Humor, and multi-year awards for humor blog from the National Society of Newspaper Columnists.Sleeping Between Giants: Life, If You Could Call It That, With A Terrier grew out of Dave’s affinity for dogs. Like them, he prefers to travel in a pack, which has led to numerous traffic citations. However, he is good with children and has had all his shots.

Book preview

Also by Dave Jaffe

Sleeping between Giants

Life, If You Could Call It That, With A Terrier

Book I

Budleigh, the Early Year

Praise for Sleeping between Giants books

In ‘Sleeping Between Giants Book II, Ask a Terrier,’ Dave Jaffe’s wisecracking dog Budleigh dispenses hilarious advice to both canines and Giants (aka humans) who have no clue about things canine (or even human). Budleigh is the Dear Abby of pooches. Or maybe Dear Abby is the Budleigh of advice columnists. At any rate, this compilation of letters and answers will have you — that’s right — howling. It’s as funny a book as you will find and even more fun than a chew toy. Read it to your dog, who will love Budleigh. So, clueless Giant, will you.

— Jerry Zezima, nationally syndicated humorist and bestselling author

People put great stock in getting information straight from the horse’s mouth," but award winner Dave Jaffe’s latest book ‘Sleeping between Giants Book II, Ask a Terrier’ proves getting it straight from the dog’s mouth is infinitely more fun, if not particularly accurate. Budleigh dispenses advice with the unfailing confidence and boldness of a true terrier. Jaffe may have done the transcribing—exploiting his unfair advantage of opposable thumbs—but, make no mistake, the wise and hilarious words are all Budleigh’s. Four paws up and a big tail wag for this sure hit.

— Lee Gaitan, award-winning author of My Pineapples Went to Houston and Lite Whines and Laughter

When I tell you that [Sleeping Between Giants, Book I: Life, If You Could Call It That, With A Terrier] by Dave Jaffe is a funny book, you seriously have to believe me. I had to stop reading it in public because I was making a spectacle of myself, laughing, snorting, and insisting that my husband quit doing what he was doing so that he could read the passage I was laughing at.

— Lori Duff, author of Amazon #1 bestseller, "You Know I Love You Because You’re Still Alive."

[Sleeping Between Giants, Book I] will keep you wide awake laughing uproariously! Author Dave Jaffe chronicles life with his quirky rescue terrier with more hilarious quips than the number of pellets in a ginormous bag of kibble. We get comedy (and some seriousness) about Budleigh and his older ‘co-dog’ Brisby – their baths, the chewing on things not to be chewed, the on-leash or off-leash question, doggie costumes, and veterinarian stuff. (One line invokes the age-old question: ‘Why don’t Giants ever have to wear cones?’) There’s even a bit of political commentary … also funny photos and funny comic strips from Jaffe, the gifted humorist/multi-award-winning blogger.

— Dave Astor, author of Fascinating Facts About Famous Fiction Authors

Sleeping between Giants

Book II

Ask a Terrier

Professional Advice from a Licensed Dog

Dave Jaffe

Sleeping between Giants, Book II

Ask a Terrier: Professional Advice from a Licensed Dog

Published by Cray-Cray Publishing

Address inquiries to:

Cray-Cray Publishing

P.O. Box 7065

Deerfield, IL 60015

[e-mail]

Copyright © 2022 Dave Jaffe

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For permissions contact: [e-mail]

Cover by Tatiana Vila, Vila Design.

Print ISBN: 978-1-7341925-2-0

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-7341925-3-7

First Edition.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

The ebook version is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, please visit your favorite ebook retailer to purchase your own copy.

Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author who is weak from hunger, infirm with age, and lacking in friends.

For information about special discounts available for bulk purchases, sales promotions, fund-raising, book clubs, speaking engagements, and educational needs, Contact Donna Cavanagh, www.HumorOutcasts.com or [e-mail].

Visit Dave Jaffe at his website, www.SleepingBetweenGiants.com. Contact: [e-mail]

Dedication

To Denise

and the four,

plus one.

Contents

Also by Dave Jaffe

Praise for Sleeping between Giants books

Introduction

Budleigh! (-udleigh-udleigh…) In! (-iin-iin…) Space! (-ace-ace…)

The Truth Ain’t Out There!

Talkin’ TED

Wake Up and Smell the COVID!

Unmasking the Mask

Why? What Are You?

Paper Training

Don’t Hold the Phone

Zooming Isn’t Like Running

Sheltering Outside the Shelter

Is It a Terrier World? Is It?

Can’t We All Just Get Along?

Mark of the Hallmark

It’s In the Bag!

Oh, Great … Another New Collar

Budleigh Addresses a Royal Pain

How the Dogs Are Voting

Just How Infra Is Our Structure?

Semper Canis!

What’s Bugging Budleigh?

Destroy All Monsters!

Not a Black Hole Lot of Excitement for Dogs

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

Budleigh Goes All Scatolog-ICK-al!

Budleigh Takes a Walk on the Wild Side

Cloning Has Budleigh Seeing Double

What is Dog Backwards, Again?

Dogs and Children – When Species Collide

Your Dog or Your Boyfriend. Is That Really a Question?

Budleigh Reminds Vacationers, Hey, Ya Got This Dog Here!

Dogs Are a Bargain! Except For the Money

Budleigh Offers Food for Thought

Hero or Hungry?

The Latest Dirt on Dog Germs

Winnin’ and Waggin’!

Washing Machines of Mass Destruction

The Veterinarian is In! Budleigh Offers Advice on Not Swallowing Pills

Extolling Consoling

EpiDogue

Acknowledgments

Haven’t had enough of Budleigh?: Try living with him!

Praise for Sleeping between Giants, Book I

Introduction

From Rags to Riches … Or At Least Chew Toys

Dogs have much to teach us about life besides the best spots to poop.

As a fully qualified terrier, Budleigh is devoted to sorting out the lives of his readers in much the way he sorts out the lives of rabbits or other small prey.

In Sleeping between Giants, Book I: Budleigh, The Early Year, we were introduced to a young terrier I met in a shelter after his arrest by police in Waukegan, Illinois, on charges of vagrancy, loitering, and panhandling, which were false, and of being a homeless dog, which was true.

Technically.

Designated as Bandit by the shelter staff, who usually added a scornful Hmph!, this terrier was released of his own recognizance into my care after I posted a $50 bond, plus vaccinations.

On the drive home I explained that he was welcome in our home and that we intended to change his name to Budleigh for personal reasons too complex to explain until Sleeping between Giants, Book III. Budleigh eagerly took on this new title, rejecting Bandit, his biker gang name.

Like many formerly incarcerated canines, Budleigh acclimated quickly to life on the outside, now spent primarily inside. He formed a deep and trustful friendship with Brisby, our older dog, a Schnoodle who would serve as confidant and parole officer.

While not a superior intellect, Brisby believed in playing by the rules, provided those rules were never more complicated than, Give me your paw!