Meaty Beatty: The Torturous Tale of a Butcher Turned Bad

By Kate Willatts

Meaty Beatty is a highly qualified and respected butcher but, when the new supermarket opens on the outskirts of town, she notices her profits starting to fall as her regular customers stop coming to visit her.

Beatty’s fortunes are about to change, however, when, after a freakily fortuitous accident, she discovers a secret ingredi

• Language: English
• Publisher: Poulner Publishing
• Release date: Jul 19, 2016
• ISBN: 9780952558521

Kate Willatts

Primarily, Kate has spent her career educating children about her passions of music, the English language and conservation. She has travelled extensively around the globe and has witnessed firsthand, the plight of the many endangered species she mentions in 'Meaty Beatty'. She brings this knowledge to a wider audience in a humorous and engaging style and this will continue as Beatty also travels the world in subsequent stories.

Book preview

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First published in Great Britain in 2016 by Poulner Publishing Copyright © Kate Willatts 2016

The right of Kate Willatts to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Also available as an ebook

ISBN: 978-0-9525585-1-4

eBook ISBN: 978-0-9525585-2-1

Illustrations © Evangeline Willatts 2016

Cover design by Red Raven Book Design

www.redravenbookdesign.com

www.meatybeatty.com

For my fellow explorers...

Kate Willatts is an author, educator and explorer with a love of alliteration. She has spent her career educating children about her passions for music, the English language and conservation and hopes that one or two of them have enjoyed it as much as she has. Her greatest achievement to date is learning how to spell ‘onomatopoeia’ without having to look it up.

Kate currently lives in Thailand with her family where she is trying to track down Meaty Beatty so that she can put a stop to her dreadful deeds. She will let you know how she gets on with that.

‘Meaty Beatty’ is Kate’s debut novel.

Table of Contents

Cover Page

Publishing Details

Dedication

About the Author

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Warning!

Chapter 1 - Beatty Bemoans her Curious Course

Chapter 2 - Meaty is as Beatty Does

Chapter 3 - Max makes an Entrance

Chapter 4 - Beatty Accounts for her Actions

Chapter 5 - Libby Ponders the Possibilities

Chapter 6 - Beatty Revels in the Repercussions

Chapter 7 - ‘Beatty’s Best’ Become ‘Beatty’s Best of Best’

Chapter 8 - It’s a Right Dog’s Dinner

Chapter 9 - Libby Pursues her Poodle Problem

Chapter 10 - ‘Best of Best’ Becomes Big Business

Chapter 11 - Libby Puts the Pressure On

Chapter 12 - Beatty Deals with the New Developments

Chapter 13 - Nobody Notices the Nuances of Change

Chapter 14 - Beatty Researches a Rather Risky Remedy

Chapter 15 - Playing Peekaboo with a Kinkajou – Kookookachoo

Chapter 16 - Success Breeds Success for Some

Chapter 17 - Libby Rouses Richard’s Suspicions

Chapter 18 - Badai Delivers on his Dangerous Promise

Chapter 19 - The Trail Terminates Here

Chapter 20 - Libby and Richard Pay a Valuable Visit

Chapter 21 - And the Beatty Goes On

Chapter 22 - It’s Bonkers, Bedlam and Bananas at Beatty’s House

Chapter 23 - Beatty Becomes Big-Headed

Chapter 24 - Libby Pursues the Probable Problem

Chapter 25 - Libby Begins to Perceive the Truth

Chapter 26 - Beatty Battles it Out

Chapter 27 - Crunch Time for the Carnivorous

Chapter 28 - The Truth Will Out

Chapter 29 - There’s No Business Like This Business

Chapter 30 - Libby Reports on the Pandemonium

Chapter 31 - Beatty and Badai are Flying High

Chapter 32 - All’s Well that Ends Unwell

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Meaty Beatty's Glossary

How You can Help

Meaty Beatty 2 - Far Out in the Far East!

Warning!

The story within these pages, although not strictly factual, holds some uncomfortable truths. I’m not going to tell you the story here because you should read the whole book to understand the full enormity of the situation. However, what I can tell you is that the animals you will discover are in danger. They are in danger from one of the most perilous predators that the earth has ever known. They are in danger from a predator who thinks nothing of killing any innocent creature that gets in its path, who will destroy the homes of wildlife for its own purposes and who will hunt down and eat almost anything that moves, then keep its skin and bones as souvenirs. Horrific, isn’t it?

But have you guessed what that predator is yet...?

You will come across the names of many different creatures in the story, all of whom have a sorry fate ahead of them. Some you will know, some you won’t, so to find out more, just turn to the back of the book where you will find a glossary outlining all the animals mentioned and some of the problems they face.

And if you are as repulsed by your findings as I have been, I have included a list of organisations who are there to help the animals. There you can find out more information and lend your support.

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Chapter 1

Beatty Bemoans her Curious Course

As she stared into the blood-shot eyes of the angry ape, Beatty was tempted to dwell on the events that had led her to this moment. But, as the snorting and grumbling mountain gorilla drew himself up to stand as tall as he could (which was actually quite a lot taller than Beatty could manage) and began to pound his chest, she quickly realised that now was the time for doing not for dwelling.

So, bending her knees and dropping her substantial arms in front of her, she dragged her knuckles on the ground as she faced up to her opponent. She bared her beige and rather wonky teeth (admittedly nowhere near as impressive as the powerful primate’s) in an effort to intimidate and screeched back at him, making a sound that can only be described as excruciatingly animalistic and which would have sent any more cautious creature running for cover.

This was no timid tamarind or meek marmoset, however, and so their combat began. Circling round each other, both instinctively knew that this was going to be a fight to the death.

The ape, having had enough of being led a merry dance by this dumpy but very dangerous woman, lunged and grabbed Beatty by her hair. Twisting round, Beatty retaliated by tickling him in the ribs.

Take that, you ticklish tyrant, she yelled as he loosened his grip, allowing her to escape his clutches. She took her chance to climb inelegantly onto the top of a large chest freezer but, given that mountain gorillas are used to climbing mountains, this wouldn’t protect her for long. With one effortless run-up he was behind her, grabbing at her apron in an attempt to restrain her. But, once again, Beatty was able to give him the slip by deftly removing the apron, an action she had performed so many times she could do it in her sleep. Turning craftily around she twisted and turned in such a way that the gorilla was now being garrotted, strangled by the apron’s strings.

We might share 96 per cent of our DNA but there’s a big difference between us, Beatty shouted, as she hid behind a large pile of cardboard boxes. I’ve evolved – you haven’t! No wonder there aren’t many of you left – you can’t even fight an out-of-shape old lady!

And, pleased with herself for the quality of her cutting comment, she pushed the boxes over, buying herself a little more time. As her eyes darted around the room, she ignored the cries of her prisoner, and searched, instead, for the tools of her trade that had served her so well over the preceding months.

I’ve come too far to let an agitated ape beat me now! she muttered and, retrieving her favourite accessory from its block, Beatty flung the sharp metal object as hard as she could, hoping she would be silencing the shame-faced silverback for good.

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Chapter 2

Meaty is as Beatty Does

You may be wondering how Beatty had become involved in the gorilla grappling incident. I cannot explain the whys and wherefores, all being too horrible for my sensitive nature to comprehend. All I can do is tell you her story from the beginning.

Beatty was a butcher. Beatty was a very good butcher. Indeed, Beatty was such a good butcher that the residents of her town, customers and non-customers alike, had taken to calling her ‘Meaty Beatty’.

So what was it that set Beatty apart from your average blood-stained aproned, white hat-wearing butcher? What was so special about her butchery skills that made her a cut above any other butcher you may come across? Was it her shop, with its red and white canopy and its sawdust strewn floor that prevented