The First Night

By Belle Feliz

Ako si Hope Marie Frajales. Lincoln Monterosso was my first love. I fell in love the second I laid eyes on him. That was in high school. I couldn't have him then because he was crazy in love with another girl.

Napagpasyahan ko na lang na mahalin siya at huwag maghintay ng anumang kapalit. Magiging masaya na lang akong mahalin siya mula sa malayo. At naging masaya naman talaga ako sa pag-ibig na iyon.

Lumipas ang panahon. Nagkita kaming muli at nanumbalik sa akin ang mga pakiramdam at alaala. Naalala ko kung paano ako magmahal noon. Hindi na nga lang ako ang dating Hope na… hopeful pagdating sa pag-ibig.

My heart had been broken and I wasn't sure if I could ever love again. But then Lincoln made things easy. It seemed too easy to fall in love with him again.

Sa pagkakataon na ito, magkakaroon na ba ng katugon ang pag-ibig na iyon?

 

• Language: Filipino
• Publisher: Belle Feliz
• Release date: Sep 24, 2022
• ISBN: 9798215965801

Belle Feliz

Belle Feliz writes Tagalog romance.

Book preview

For you, my dear reader.

With so much love and gratitude.

xoxo

From the Author

This is part of the unfinished collaboration series called Masked Gentlemen with the ever lovely Ceng Cordova. This can be read as standalone.

xo

Contents

From the Author

Contents

My First Love

Hope Marie Frajales

Love

He’s In Love

Hearts and Glitters

Cutie

It’s Okay

On a Date

Trouble in Paradise

Moment

Lucky

That’s My Girl

Attending a Party

You and Me

First Kiss

NOW

NOW

Warm Fuzzies

Zerea

Poking. Stabbing. Smashing.

A Day In Our Lives

Phillip

We’re Friends Now

My New Life

Rockstar

The First

Processing...

A Chance for Us

It Had To Be You

Happiness and Hope

Control

Perfect

We

Ainsley

Roads

The Dilemma

Don’t You Want Me?

Wonderful Man

Perfection

After

A Surprise Visit

Panic

He Loved Me

A Surprise Visit Part Two

Chaos

Cinderella and Prince Charmings

They Would Never Find The Body

Everything’s Good

Epilogue

About The Author

My First Love

Hope

HINDI NA NATIGIL SA pag-vibrate ang smartphone na hawak ko. Hindi ko na pinagkaabalahan pang tingnan kung ano ang ganap. Alam ko ang ganap. Alam ko kung bakit bigla na lang busy ang phone ko. Nagpatuloy lang ako sa paglalakad.

Maaari ko namang patayin ang phone pero napa-paranoid din ako. Baka may emergency. Unang araw ko pa naman sa bagong ospital. What if someone needed me?

Isa pa, medyo nakakagaan ng loob ang kaalaman na may mga taong nagmamalasakit. May ilan din siguro na gusto lang makiusyoso o makitsismis pero gusto ko pa ring paniwalaan na karamihan sa mga tumatawag, nagpapadala ng messages at nag-e-email ay nagmamalasakit sa akin at gusto lang siguruhin na magiging maayos ako.

Maybe I’d need some of these people later. Maybe I’d need to talk it out. I would need someone to listen. I’d need someone to pour me wine and hug me and tell me everything was going to be all right.

But not right now. Right now, I needed to be alone. I needed to process it by myself. I needed to lick my wounds alone.

Just when you thought you’re starting to heal...

Bigla na lang akong natigil sa paglalakad nang matigil sa pag-vibrate ang phone. Halos wala sa loob na napatingin ako roon para alamin kung ano ang nangyari. Sandali rin akong naghintay at baka pause lang iyon.

Iisipin ko na sana na sumuko na ang mga nagmamahal at nagmamalasakit sa akin pero may napansin ako sa screen ng smartphone. Huh, naiusal ko.

Walang signal. Hindi iyon nangyayari sa akin. Hindi ako nawawalan ng signal. Kahit na saang bahagi ng lungsod o kahit na saang bahagi ng mundo ako maparoon, palaging may signal. Naputol din ang connection ko sa WiFi.

Nakakasorpresa lang dahil nasa loob ako ng isang sophisticated building. Hindi ko akalain na may lugar sa building na iyon na walang signal at walang Internet connection.

It’s the quiet spot.

Halos wala sa loob na napalingon ako sa nagsalita. Isang lalaki ang nakaupo sa isang wooden bench. Bahagya kong inilinga ang aking paningin sa paligid. Kanina pa ako naglalakad. Hindi ko napansin na nakarating na ako sa bahaging iyon, isa sa mga indoor garden sa ospital.

Naibalik ko ang aking paningin sa lalaking nakasuot ng white coat at prenteng nakaupo sa wooden bench. He was familiar. I’m certain I’ve seen him before. Nagsalubong ang aking mga kilay at pilit na inalala kung saan at kailan ko nakilala o nakita ang lalaking ito before.

Then it hit me. Nahigit ko pansumandali ang aking hininga. Nakalimutan ko ang ibang mga bagay na bumabagabag sa akin. Napakurap-kurap ako pagkatapos. Baka kasi pinaglalaruan lang ako ng aking paningin. Baka mali lang. Baka kamukha lang.

Ngumiti ang lalaki. Parang may kung anong nangyari sa dibdib ko pero hindi ko muna gaanong pinagtuunan ng pansin. Ngayon ay sigurado na ako na hindi lang ako namamalik-mata, hindi nagkamali sa pagkilala at pagkakaalala.

That sweet smile would always remind me how sweet my high school had been because of one man.

Kusa nang sumilay ang isang maganda at matamis na ngiti sa aking mga labi. Ganap ko nang naisantabi ang ibang mga bagay.

Napaupo ako sa tabi ng lalaki, namamangha pa rin. Hindi na ako nahiya pa. Nagsimula nang mangunot ang noo niya. Siguro ay nababaghan sa nakikitang kasalukuyang ekspresyon ng aking mukha.

I know you, sabi ko, nakangiti pa rin nang matamis.

Really? I... uh...

Hindi naman ako nasaktan na hindi niya ako maalala. Hindi ko naman inasahan iyon. Did he even know I existed back then? Ako ang taong madaling makalimutan. Humugot ako nang malalim na hininga nang magsimula ang pag-ahon ng pait sa aking dibdib.

I didn’t want to feel awful anymore. I just wanted to be happy seeing this beautiful man again. He had given me so much happiness and kilig in my teenage years.

Clifford Lincoln Monterosso, I uttered, reverent. Hindi ko mapaniwalaan na muling nagsalubong ang aming mga landas. It’s a pleasant surprise, I realized. It felt as if I'd been given a gift.

Ilang sandali na pinagmasdan ng lalaki ang mukha ko, pilit na hinuhukay sa memory niya kung sino ako. Hindi naman masama ang loob ko dahil hindi ko pa rin makita ang rekognasyon sa kanyang mga mata habang nakatingin sa akin.

Clue, sabi ko. High school.

Bigla na lang nagliwanag ang kanyang buong mukha. Hope! You’re Hope.

Your Not-So-Secret Admirer, tugon ko habang napapatango-tango. Ang totoo ay bahagya akong nagulat na kaagad niyang naalala ang pangalan ko. Ang akala ko ay hindi talaga ako rerehistro. I guessed he knew I existed back then. Maybe my awkwardness made a tiny impression.

Lincoln chuckled softly. This is nice.

Is it really? natatawa kong sabi.

Sumandal siya sa bench. Really. It’s been a while, Cutie.

Cutie. I missed that. I’ve almost forgotten about it. That’s what he called me then. He didn’t know who I was for the most part of our high school but we had teeny-tiny moments before he graduated.

My prince, aking naiusal. Nostalgia filled me. My first love.

Ilang sandali na mukhang nagulat si Lincoln. Kapagkuwan ay napangiti na rin. It’s been ages, aniya sa magaang tinig. This is so surreal.

I know. Bahagya pang namilog ang aking mga mata habang hindi ko siya nilulubayan ng tingin. Hindi ko pa rin talaga mapaniwalaan na muli ko siyang nakita. Sa araw kung kailan alam kong hindi magiging madali para sa akin. Yep, he was definitely a gift.

Dahil nakatingin ako sa kanya, napansin kong muli ang suot niyang white coat. Something finally dawned on me. Napuno ng galak at sorpresa ang aking dibdib. You’re a doctor?

Tumango siya. You are too.

Tumango rin ako. I am. I’m new here actually and it’s my first day.

And you’re in... Tiningnan niya ang bahagi ng coat ko kung saan nakaburda ang aking pangalan. Surgery department.

Tumango akong muli. Yes. I am a surgeon.

Cool.

And you’re also in peds, sabi ko nang mabasa ang mga nakaburda sa kanyang white coat.

Pediatrician.

Ikinatuwa kong malaman ang bagay na iyon. Dr. Rizalino Mendoza Memorial Hospital was a pretty big tertiary hospital. We’d both be working on children. Mas mapapadalas ang pagsasalubong namin. Mas madalas ko siyang makikita. Yes, the thought made my heart extremely happy.

It’s a very welcome distraction. Lincoln was a very much welcome distraction from everything that happened in the past, from everything that was happening right now in my life.

I’m a pediatric surgeon, sabi ko, pandagdag impormasyon. At para na rin hindi siya magulat kapag nakita niya ako sa paligid. I was not going to be a stalker—not much anyway.

Wow, aniya. Mukhang genuine ang amazement at surprise sa kanyang mukha. So you’re working for Dr. Andrew Mendoza?

Tumango ako. Yes, he’s very nice.

Natawa nang malakas si Lincoln. Lalong hindi mapuknat ang paningin ko sa kanya. He still got it.

He’s still got the charisma. He was still so handsome it was breathtaking.

Umahon ang mga pamilyar na damdamin sa aking dibdib. Naalala ko kung paano ko siya minahal at sinamba noon. May munting parte sa puso ko ang parang natatakot at gustong magbabala.

Hindi ko iyon gaanong pinansin. This was Lincoln Monterosso. I’ve always known what’s in it for me. From the very beginning. Ang puso kong nagmamahal noon, tanggap ang lahat. Hindi naghihintay ng kapalit sa anumang emotional investments. Masaya lang nagmamahal. Masaya nang nakatanaw mula sa malayo. Big deal na kung mangitian kahit na tipid at wala sa loob. Masaya nang mapansin paminsan-minsan.

Hindi ako naghangad nang labis kaya hindi rin ako nasaktan nang labis. Masaya lang ang puso ko.

Maybe I felt so awful now because I had not been that girl. I kept on expecting something. I still wanted something from the person who left me high and dry. I still couldn’t accept what really happened. That was why it was still hurting me.

Maybe because I asked too much in return. Maybe I’ve expected too much from a man.

You’re one of the few ones who thinks he’s really nice to someone who’s not a kid patient, ani Lincoln.

Kinailangan kong alalahanin kung ano ang sinabi ko para maintindihan ang sinasabi niya. Bigo ako. Hindi ko naintindihan ang mga sinasabi niya. Masyado na yata akong lulong sa nakaraan, sa mga damdamin ng batang ako at sa ilang realisasyon sa kasalukuyan kong sitwasyon.

You are my first love, sabi ko, halos wala sa loob. Medyo pabiro ang pagkakasabi ko kanina, ngayon ay mas seryoso.

Natigilan si Lincoln. Mukhang mas hindi siya naging komportable sa narinig mula sa akin. Hindi ko naman siya masisisi talaga. Kahit na sino naman. Hindi ko rin naman mabawi ang mga sinabi ko. Totoo, eh.

It’s not my intention to make you feel uncomfortable, I’m sorry, sabi ko sa banayad na tinig. Kakikita pa lang natin after so many, many years at ganyan na kaagad ang banat ko. Hindi rin naman tayo close noon para mag-feeling ako ngayon. Marahan akong natawa. Medyo nahiya na rin naman ako. Pero mas nangibabaw ang magandang pakiramdam na dulot niya, ng muli naming pagkikita.

Pero hindi naman na ito complete surprise for you. You know what I felt for you. Alam mo na ikaw ang unang boy na minahal ng puso ko.

Hindi pa rin siya gaanong komportable pero nagawa niyang ngumiti. I remember.

You do? Really? You’re not just saying that? It’s okay if you don’t. Hindi naman ako magtatampo.

Marahan siyang natawa. Really. Hindi ka basta-basta nakakalimutan.

Hindi ako gaanong naniwala. I was  one of the people who didn’t really stand out in school. I was a nobody. It had been fine. I didn’t really want to stand out. I was awkward and a complete dork.

You sent letters and you brazenly told me you love me.

Ako naman ang natawa sa pagkakataon na ito. Yeah. I did all that. He didn’t return my feelings but it was okay. I didn’t need him to love me back. I just loved him.

Banayad akong natawa. Looking back, I didn’t really know how I did it. Lincoln had always been a really good memory. The mere thought of him made me smile. It constantly made me feel good inside.

Seeing him again now and knowing I’d have him around during work hours, it felt like everything was going to be really okay from now on.  I was hopeful for the first time today.

I believe I fell in love with you the very second I laid my eyes on you, sabi ko. Love at first sight. The very first boy that caught my love and attention.

Tumikhim si Lincoln. Mukhang hindi na naman komportable sa itinatakbo ng aming usapan. Nginitian ko siya nang matamis.

I was Hope Marie Frajales and I was once crazy in love with a boy named Clifford Lincoln Monterosso.

It happened on the first day of school...

Hope Marie Frajales

Then

I DIDN’T WANT TO TRANSFER school. I was happy at my old school. I had friends there. Not a lot and we’re not really that tight but they were still my friends. I hated change. I loved the comfort of the familiar. I really didn’t want to go to this new school.

Hindi lang ako magkalakas ng loob na sabihin sa aking dalawang daddy na ayokong lumipat ng school dahil nagi-guilty ako. They worked really hard to get me into this new school. It’s an upgrade for me. A really big and important one. A private international school. Studying there would really cost a fortune. We’re not hurting financially but the expense of my education would still be considerable. They wanted me to have the best. They said they wanted me to have the education I deserved.

I didn’t want to be ungrateful. I appreciated everything my wonderful parents did for me. I love them so very much and I know they love me more than life itself. I owe them everything.

I was adopted by a gay couple. My fathers had been together for a very long time now. They were not legally married but they were partners in every way that really mattered. They both came from conservative families. Nang magdesisyon silang magsama na parang mag-asawa at magkatuwang sa buhay, itinakwil sila ng mga pami-pamilya nila. Some even said they were living in sin and they’re bound to go to hell.

Hindi nila pinakinggan ang mga masasakit na salita. Tiniis ang pagtatakwil sa kanila. Mas pinili nilang makasama ang isa’t isa at mabuhay nang malaya, mabuhay sa paraang gusto nila. I always admired them for that.

They worked hard to have a good life together. Daddy Marty was an engineer. He used to work for a large construction firm in the city. Then he decided to start his own engineering firm. It’s small but thriving really well. My Pappi Rob used to be a head writer/producer in one of the biggest TV networks in the country. Now, he’s a freelance novelist and full-time restaurant owner. He’s very good in the kitchen.

I was their maid’s baby. My mother was very young when she had me, I was told. Ang totoo ay ang nanay niya o lola ko ang talagang pinagkakatiwalaang kawaksi nina Daddy at Pappi. She had been in Daddy’s family’s employ since she was young. Nang maitakwil si Daddy, sumama siya. Nagkaroon nga lang siya ng sakit at kinailangan siyang operahan. Kinailangan niyang tumigil magtrabaho para makapagpahinga nang maayos.

Ang anak niyang babae ang humalili sa kanya. My mother was just sixteen then. Hindi sana gusto nina Daddy at Pappi na tanggapin ang isang menor de edad pero nakiusap ang pamilya. Their family needed the income.

She was seventeen when she gave birth to me. Hindi ko alam kung paano pa siya nagkaroon ng time to meet a guy and date while working for my dads. But she did and she got pregnant.

My father was a foreigner. No one really knew the nationality. Hindi rin kasi aware sina Pappi at Daddy noon na nakikipag-date na ang aking biological mother. European more likely. I look Caucasian but I’m petite like my biological mother.

The foreigner scammed my biological mother. Inakala raw ng aking ina na ang taong iyon na ang mag-aahon sa kanya sa hirap. Inakala raw niya na makakarating siya sa ibang bansa at magkakaroon ng mas magandang buhay. The guy asked for money for investments. Lahat ng ipon nila ay ibinigay niya sa lalaking iyon. Nang makuha ang gusto, hindi na mahanap ang foreigner.

Hindi lang siguro dahil sa hirap ng buhay kaya ako ipinamigay. Kasama na rin doon siguro ang labis na sama ng loob at pagkamuhi. Paglabas ko pa lang sa kanya ay obvious nang maipapaalala ko sa kanya ang ginawa ng aking ama araw-araw habang nabubuhay ako.

Don’t hate your biological mom, ang sabi sa akin ni Pappi habang yakap-yakap niya ako. She was not ready to be a mother. She was not in a good place then. She’s hurting badly. All her dreams were shattered. She knew at that time that she’s not fit to be your mother. She knew she couldn’t give you the life she wanted you to have.  She gave you to us and I’m thankful everyday for that gift. We love you so much, my darling.

I was told again and again that I was very smart. Hindi mahirap para sa akin na intindihin ang sitwasyon. Bata pa lang ako ay sinabi na sa akin ang pagiging ampon ko. Dapat lang na maipaliwanag sa akin nang husto habang maaga pa. It was very obvious.

I had two men as parents. I didn’t look like them. It’s not that hard to figure everything out on my own anyway. We’re not biologically related but we’re a family unit like everyone else.

I was told na nasa sinapupunan pa lang ako ay napagpasyahan nang ipaampon ako. Nang malaman ng dalawang lalaki ang planong iyon, kaagad nila akong inangkin. They really wanted to adopt. They wanted someone to take care of. Hindi lang nila sigurado kung nasa tamang timing na ang plano na iyon.

They felt right taking me.

We fell in love the moment we laid eyes on you, sabi ni Daddy. We didn’t think that kind of love was still possible. I thought epic love na namin ang isa’t isa at wala nang makahihigit pa roon. When we held you for the first time, it’s like our lives are complete. I have always believed that we completed each other but we’re so wrong. You completed us.

I was so much loved. That was certain. I never doubted that. Ipinaramdam sa akin ng mga magulang ko kung gaano nila ako kamahal. Ibinigay nila ang lahat ng mayroon sila at higit-higit pa.

Hindi ako nagkulang sa pagmamahal, pero siyempre hindi pa rin maiiwasan na makaramdam ako ng mga negatibo. The feeling of rejection and being unwanted were always with me. I had to deal with them from time to time.

I loved my life. I loved my parents and our family. I knew I had it good and many were not as lucky as I was. I’d still feel bad from time to time. May pagkakataon pa rin na naitatanong ko kung ano ang mali sa akin at bakit hindi ako kayang mahalin ng biological parents ko.

Siguro ay karaniwan na iyon sa mga katulad kong ampon at may unconventional daw na pamilya. Karaniwan ang mga pakiramdam at mga tanong. Siguro ay kasa-kasama ko na ang mga iyon hanggang sa paglaki.

Ang mahalaga naman ay hindi ko hinahayaan ang sarili kong lamunin ako ng mga iyon. Ang mahalaga ay maipalala ko pa rin sa sarili ko ang mga magagandang bagay na mayroon ako.

Humugot ako nang malalim na hininga at iyon ang aking ginawa sa kasalukuyan. Gusto kong kalmahin ang aking sarili. Hindi ako gaanong tagumpay. I was having anxiety. We were on our way to my new school.

You’ll do great.

Halos wala sa loob na napatingin ako sa nagsalita, si Daddy na siyang nagmamaneho. Sinulyapan niya ako sa may rearview mirror. Lumingon naman si Pappi mula sa passenger’s seat at nginitian niya ako nang pagkatamis-tamis at pagkaluwang-luwang.

It’s going to be great!

Napigilan ko ang sarili kong mapangiwi. I loved their enthusiasm, it was just really annoying. Maybe it had been ages since they had attended high school but nothing much really changed. It was high school. I was a dork. Ayoko rin naman na mag-alala sila sa akin sa unang araw sa bagong eskwelahan kaya naman pinilit ko ang sarili kong ngumiti.

Yeah, it’s going to be... exciting, nasabi ko na lang. Sa kabila ng pagsusumikap kong langkapan ng excitement ang aking tinig, nagtunog pa rin iyong malamya.

Mababakas na ang pag-aalala at pagmamalasakit sa mukha ni Pappi. Inabot niya ang kamay ko. I know it can be overwhelming and maybe stressful. It’s a new school and you have to adjust to a new environment, to new people. Bahagyang nalukot ang kanyang mukha, parang maiiyak pero pinigilan ang sarili. I’m so sorry. We’re sorry. I just thought this is the best for you. Oh, God, Marty, what if we’re doing the wrong thing?

Don’t be dramatic, Rob, pananaway ni Daddy pero mababakas na rin sa tinig niya ang bahagyang pag-aalala.

I’ll be fine, ang sabi ko na lang sa kanila. Pinisil ko ang kamay ni Pappi. This was not just going to be stressful for me, for them also. We’re doing the right thing. Hindi ko iyon ganap na pinaniniwalaan pero iyon ang kailangan nilang marinig.

They were giving me something they believed I deserved. A really expensive education in one of the most expensive international school in the country. Kasalanan ko rin naman kung bakit nagpursige silang talaga. I once expressed my interest in having to go to one of the Ivy League universities. Mataas ang pangarap ko. I wanted to be one of the greats. Mas magiging maganda ang tsansa ko sa pagpasok sa unibersidad na gusto ko kung sa isang magandang international school ako magtatapos ng high school.

It’s okay to be nervous on the first day, sabi ko pa upang mas ma-alleviate ang kanilang mga worry. I can deal with it. I’ll be fine. Maybe if I said that often enough, it would come true. Maybe I could finally believe it before we reach the school.

Pero imbes na maibsan ang nerbiyos ko ay mas lalo pa iyong lumago nang matanaw ko na ang pagkagara-gara at pagkalaki-laking gate ng bago kong school. The grandness of it was intimidating.

Yes, normal talaga na kabahan at matakot sa unang araw, ani Daddy. But soon enough, you’ll make friends and everything will be all right.

Yes, Daddy is absolutely right, sabi ni Pappi.

Nagkatinginan sandali ang aking mga magulang. Alanganin ang ngiti. Alam ng isa’t isa na hindi naman talaga nila ganap na pinaniniwalaan ang mga salitang binitiwan.

Hindi ko sila gaanong pinansin. Nakatutok ang aking mga mata sa malaking gusali sa aking harapan. It had the old wealth and glamor vibe. It looked like an old building. Mukhang matibay at madami na ang pinagdaanan. May strong character. It was intimidating and very opulent.

It was also a very beautiful building.

Ayon kina Daddy at Pappi, eksklusibo ang eskuwelahan. The screening was tough and very long. They had been in waitlist for a very long time. Maganda ang reputasyon ng eskuwelahan internationally. Almost all of their students were accepted to good universities abroad.

I was not really sure if I wanted to come to this school, to be honest. Kaa-adjust ko lang sa school ko. I just started to be really comfortable. I had a feeling that this school would be... uncomfortable for me.

I was pretty certain I wouldn't belong and kids would hate me.

I was having difficulty breathing when the car finally stopped and I had to get out now. My heart was beating so fast, I felt like my chest would burst any moment now.

Niyakap ako nang mahigpit nina Daddy at Pappi.

It’s going to be all right, sabi ni Daddy. Nasa tinig pa rin ang kaba pero pinagsumikapan pa rin niyang ngitian ako.

If someone bullies you, remember that you’re a very wonderful and special person. You are so loved. If it gets worse and physical, slap her if she’s a girl. Knee him in the balls if he’s a boy.

Rob! pananaway ni Daddy.

Hindi ko naman napigilan ang matawa sa mga narinig ko mula sa kanila.

Hinaplos ni Pappi ang aking buhok at nginitian ako. I know, I know. We don’t use violence in this family. We use words and kindness.

I need to go, sabi ko sa kanila. I don’t want to be late.

Of course, of course, sabi ni Pappi. You can’t be late on your first day of school. His voice cracks and his eyes watered. Oh, God.

Pull yourself together! pananaway ni Daddy at iniiwas din niya ang tingin pero nakita ko pa rin ang pagtutubig ng kanyang mga mata.

I’m a big girl now, sabi ko sa kanila. Matatag ang tinig at parang ganap na pinaniniwalaan ang ipinahayag. I didn’t want them worrying even more. I would have to pretend that I was brave while they were still here.

Okay, ani Daddy, mas matatag na ang tinig. Nakontrol na rin niya ang pamumuo ng mga luha sa mga mata. Have fun on your first day in your new school.

Tonight, iluluto ko ang paborito mong ulam. We love you so much.

Muli nila akong niyakap nang mahigpit bago nila ako hinayaan na makapasok na sa gusali. Hindi ko sila nilingon pero alam ko na magkahawak ang mga kamay nila habang pinapanood ang aking paglayo.

I had great parents. Iyon ang palagi kong isinasaisip. I was so lucky and blessed to have them. I loved them so much and I was certain they loved me just as much.

Mula nang mag-aral ako at nakasalumuha ang ibang bata, naging tampulan na ako ng tukso dahil sa pagkakaroon ko ng same sex parents. Some people just didn’t understand, especially kids. Some people were quick to judge our family na para bang ang perfect ng mga sarili nilang pamilya.

It was not easy being their daughter but I wouldn’t have life any other way. Hindi ko pa rin sila ipagpapalit sa kahit na sinong magulang na sa tingin ng society ay siyang normal.

My life was not going to be easy in this new school. Hindi lang dahil sa mga magulang ko kundi dahil na rin sa akin. My classmates would be two years older than me because I started school early and skipped a grade. I was a complete dork. I wore dorky eye glasses and I was practically blind without them. My hair was thick and frizzy. I was small and skinny. I had freckles on my nose.

I was awkward and shy.

I was the perfect target for school bullies.

Sinubukan kong ihanda ang aking sarili sa mga mangyayari. Thinking positive? There was no use of that.

Habang naglalakad sa pasilyo ay binubuksan ko ang aking backpack para ilabas ang printed copy ng class schedule ko. Ayaw kong magkamali ng papasukang room. Hindi ko pa man nahahanap ang papel ay naramdaman ko na ang malakas na puwersa sa aking likuran. Dahil nagulat, ganap akong nawalan ng balanse. Sumubsob ako sa sahig. Dahil nakabukas ang backpack ko, kumalat ang mga laman niyon.

Isang lalaking tumatakbo ang sumigaw ng ‘I’m sorry’ habang hindi man lang ako nililingon.

Great, I muttered while looking at my things scattered on the floor. Inayos ko ang salamin ko sa mata na thankfully ay hindi nahulog, nawala lang sa ayos. It’s a really great way to start my school day. Inasahan ko na na hindi magiging madali ang unang araw ko pero ang bilis naman yata.

Hindi ko naman malaman kung bakit may nagmamadali samantalang alam kong maaga pa. Sa aga ko, wala pang gaanong estudyante sa pasilyo. Hindi niya maaaring sabihin na male-late na siya sa klase.

Sisimulan ko na sana ang pagdampot sa aking mga gamit nang may bigla na lang yumuko at tinulungan ako. Napatingin ako sa taong iyon. I saw his profile first. He was a boy wearing the school uniform. May backpack din na nakasukbit sa kanyang balikat.

I couldn’t explain what I felt. Suddenly, my heart was beating erratically. My mind went blank. That did not happen to me. My mind was always thinking coherently.

I didn’t know what to do. I just stared at him with eyes wide and mouth open.

He was such a beautiful—no, exquisite man. A prince. That’s what came to mind. He looked like a prince. So regal and so beautiful and so elegant and just so beautiful. I was being redundant and I did’t really care. I don’t care if I’m being an idiot right now.

This was a new experience for me. I knew kids my age had crushes and even boyfriends already. I didn’t have any interest in romantic love. I didn't get attracted to any of the celebrities I had seen on the TV.

I believed I’m not capable of having crushes or being attracted to opposite sex or even same sex. Naniwala ako na hindi ako katulad ng ibang mga kaedad ko. I thought maybe when I get older, I’d find someone.

I was wrong. I was like kids my age. Karaniwan din pala ako.

Nilinga niya ako at nginitian and bam! I was in love. I knew I was in love with this boy.

Gumalaw ang mga labi niya at nairehistro ng aking isipan na nagsasalita siya pero hindi ko mawawaan ang kanyang mga sinasabi. Napakurap-kurap na lang ako nang iabot niya sa akin ang backpack.  Ilang sandali muna ang lumipas bago ko naiproseso na hindi na nakakalat ang mga gamit ko sa sahig.

Here you go, aniya habang inaalalayan pa akong tumayo.

His voice was poetry. Like a beautiful melody. Lovely music.

You’ll be okay?

Halos wala sa loob na tumango ako. Hindi ko magawang magsalita. I knew I might look like a complete idiot but I couldn’t really pull myself together.

My world shook. It was never the same again. I was never going to be the same again.

I was in love for the first time in my life.

I’ll get going then. Nginitian niya ako nang banayad bago siya tumalikod at naglakad palayo. Sa loob ng mahabang sandali ay pinagmasdan ko lang ang likuran niya.

He moved with such grace and regality. He was tall and lean. May kahabaan ang buhok niya na hindi ko kaagad napansin dahil nakatali iyon.

Napangiti ako. He was going to make everything in this school interesting and fun for me. Nakalimutan ko ang lahat ng worries at anxiety na mayroon ako. Nakalimutan ko ang paniniwala kong hindi magiging madali ang buhay ko rito.

Things just got exciting for me.

Love

Hope

UMASA AKO NA MAGIGING kaklase ko ang lalaki pero bigo ako. Pagpasok ko sa loob ng classroom ay kaagad kong naramdaman ang curious stares ng mga kaklase ko sa akin. I was the new girl. I had expected the curious stares. They already had their own groups and I had also already expected that. Alam ko na hindi ako basta-basta na lang makakapasok sa mga grupo na iyon.

Wala naman akong nakitang disgusto mula sa tingin na ipinukol nila. Ang tanging naroon ay kaunting curiosity. Pagkatapos ay hindi na nila ako pinansin, binalikan nila ang pakikipagkuwentuhan sa kani-kanilang mga kaibigan.

Pinili ko ang desk at upuan sa may bandang likuran. Malaki ang silid pero iilan lang ang mga student’s desks and chairs. The classroom was elegant but also warm and cozy. Hindi pangkaraniwanag silid-aralan. Ang buong likurang bahagi ay may floor-to-ceiling shelves. May mga lugar na may libro at ang ilan ay may iba pang learning tools and materials.

Gumagala ang aking paningin sa paligid ng silid-aralan. Panaka-nakang napapatingin sa may pinto. Umaasa ako na papasok ang lalaking nakabihag sa aking atensyon. Umaasa ako na kasihan ako ng fate at maging kaklase ko siya. Halos hindi ko namalayan na nananalangin at humihiling na ako.

Hi!

Napapitlag ako nang makarinig ng masiglang boses ng isang babae. Napatingin ako sa side ng desk ko. Hindi ko namalayan na may isang dalagita ang lumapit sa akin. Ilang sandali na napatitig lang ako sa maganda at nakangiting mukha. Hindi ko inasahan na lalapitan at kakausapin ako ng isang kaklase, ng isang katulad niya.

Katulad ko, mukhang hindi rin purong Pinoy ang babaeng kaharap. She’s a beautiful chinita. Sa palagay ko ay isa siyang Korean pero hindi ako one-hundred percent sure. She could still be a Chinese or a Japanese.

Isa sa mga nagustuhan ng mga magulang ko sa eskuwelahan na ito, almost all the students looked like or were actually foreigners being it’s an international school. Hindi ako magiging iba sa mga kaklase ko. Pinaniwalaan nila na makakatulong iyon sa akin. Hindi lang ako gaanong sigurado.

H-hi, ganting pagbati ko sa babae. I didn’t want to be rude. Inihanda ko rin ang aking sarili sa anumang hindi magandang mangyayari.

This girl

Reviews for The First Night

[kullebulle · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Superb! Dahil dito napa Scribd ako. May story ba yung tatlong Friends ni Lincoln?

[Clarissa Mallari Lansangan · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Love the story.I finish it in one setting.I really like the story of medical romance talaga.?