Ironies Volume 1: Truncated Tales of Irony Formed in the Creative Mind of Cam Rascoe

By Cam Rascoe

The master of the short story and literary champion Cam Rascoe returns with a work of ironic truncated tales, offering readers an array of essays, stories and poems that edify and enrich the spirit. Faithful fans of the Writings of Rascoe are taken on a sometimes jarring journey of probing prose offering intriguing insight into the human existence that nourish the soul. Rascoe navigates natural narratives in his readily relatable curious characters. Sustained suspense, controlled chaos and love lessons articulated with an ironic twist and incongruous tone are experienced in this powerful composition of literature. Ironies, an intriguing, entertaining and educationally instructive work of art for the masses.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Aug 9, 2022
• ISBN: 9781669842170

Cam Rascoe

Cam Rascoe, Author of the Hanna and Henry Horrowitz Series, Writings of Rascoe and The Perils of the Peoples of Pine Hills offers more insight into the Pine Hills experience through a series of excitingly poignant short stories. In depth and detailed is his expression in sharing the tales of the people of this storied community. Once again Mr. Rascoe takes hold of his readers utilizing dynamic characters in unique situations. Another fun smart read delivered by Cam Rascoe. “Restless for Retribution” documents four decades of Pine Hills life, sharing the triumphs and challenges of this diverse community. Peter, Pat and Paul proffers the buffoonery of three brothers through drug abuse while the Geppetto series illustrates how attempting to control others’ lives can eventually cause you to lose control of your own. Whispers in Wonderland sheds light on the abuse that goes uninvestigated in impoverished communities and to what lengths some will go to put an end to it. Restless for Retribution conveys how tragedy can be used to promote the healing of a hurting society in much need of it. “Restless for Retribution” offers masterful short stories with great purpose.

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Copyright © 2022 by Cam Rascoe.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 08/09/2022

Xlibris

844-714-8691

www.Xlibris.com

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CONTENTS

About A Girl

Addicted to Chaos!

Age Appropriate

Aimlessly Ailing Allen Julius

All Apologies

All Because of… HIM

Ambiguous Accent

American Ingenuity

Arthur, Author

Artistic Oasis

Asking for a Candy Bar and Receiving the Whole Candy Store

August 3rd 1999

Bad Guy Banter

Beating Out The Love

Bee Story

(Black Bigotry) Ignorance of Iesha

Black Sheep Boy One Man’s Trash, Another Man’s Treasure

Blue Sirens

Body Builder

Boo Hoo Pitching Woo

Boonie Baby

Bout With Gout

Boy

Breaking A Girl

Burned Out Right Tail Light

Can I Be Great Too?

Celibate Matrimony

Cell Block C (Unknown Poet)

Charlatan Chump Chad

Compassion For Candy

Complicit

Contender

Courageous Coward

Cry No More

Crying and Consoling

Cunningly Confused Constable

Cycle of Hurt

Daddy’s Done!

Day at The Ball Park

Deacons’ Demons

Disrespecting The Oh Too Often Disrespected

Divine Directions

Dolly

Emailed Into Eternity

Empathy

Enduring A Storm of Tears

Enjoy the Joy

Every Direction But Mine

Every Time She Goes Away

Fiasco at Franks

God’s Ugly Little Creatures

Greasy Tony

Greasy Tony Great Fame Masking Inner Pain

Grooming Since Grade School

Gym Nut

Had Winners Had Winters

Hard Head… Soft Behind

Hatred Hastened by Haplessness

Hero Worship

Hijacking the Flag

Hypocritically Hypercritical

Inches And Feet

Invasion? Invader?

Invisible Man

Jill’s Thrill

Job Offer Refused

Keeping Curious Company

King with no Kingdom

Locks Of Gold?

Lost In Our Own Housing

Love Opportunity Wasted

Loves Lost

Loving Lustful Ladies

Lure

Luxury Of Youth

Lying Share

Mama’s House Dress

Master of a Dying Art

Master Sculptor

Maximizing My Mania

Memories of Marie

Misdemeanor Turned Manslaughter

More Than a Woman

Mourning Marital Mistakes

Mudd Butt

My Dark Friend Returns

My Hands are Up and I can’t Breathe

My Humbling My Truth

My Night Job

"I believe in HIM therefore, I believe in me."

The Lord has Blessed each of us with different talents

and abilities. To doubt what you can do with them is to

doubt HIM. BE thankful for the gifts HE’s Blessed you

with and do all that you can with them. But remember,

those gifts are to be used for HIS purpose not ours.

Cam Rascoe

"For me, writing is like breathing, something I must do to

live; for I know my calling and purpose in this place."

Cam Rascoe

Dedication:

Mark Gallarelli

Sometimes in life we find motivation and encouragement in the strangest of places or from the people we expect it from the least. Enthusiastically I acknowledge a man who showed me support and heartened my efforts in completing this literary lesson. Mark I want to thank you Brother for encouraging my works and supporting my art, offering insight and inspiration along the way for no other reason than to be kind. We were not peers, colleagues or even casual acquaintances. Our relationship was bar guest and server yet you saw something more in me than just a guy working a part time job to help keep his six kids in cleats. You saw the true Cam Rascoe through our conversations, the artist, the author and entertainer. God Bless the Gallarelli family, your beautiful bride Valarie, awesome son and daughter Cory and Amanda. I just wanted to share this example with the world of how much taking an interest or offering a few sincere words of encouragement can do to help fuel a dream. Mark Gallarelli I will forever be grateful to you for what you’ve offered me my friend, hope.

Cam Rascoe

i·ro·ny

[ˈīrənē]

NOUN

irony (noun) · ironies (plural noun) · dramatic irony (noun) · tragic irony (plural noun)

1. the expression of one’s meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect:

Don’t go overboard with the gratitude, he rejoined with heavy irony

synonyms:

sarcasm · sardonicism · dryness · causticity · sharpness · acerbity · acid · bitterness · trenchancy · mordancy · cynicism · mockery · satire · ridicule · derision · scorn · sneering · wryness · backhandedness

antonyms:

sincerity

• a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result:

the irony is that I thought he could help me · one of life’s little ironies

synonyms:

paradox · paradoxical nature · incongruity · incongruousness · peculiarity

antonyms:

logic

• a literary technique, originally used in Greek tragedy, by which the full significance of a character’s words or actions are clear to the audience or reader although unknown to the character

• Life is one huge irony in which we all sometimes stumble through blindly. Our destinations in this life often offer us detours on the journey to reach them. Sometimes a detour provides us a pit stop where we may refuel and maintenance before continuing our quest. Other times that lay over becomes the destination. For it was where we were always intended to be and the original desired destination’s only purpose was to land us here. Irony

About A Girl

An easy friend is what you simply were to me, always with an ear the lend. You certainly fit the shoe but unfortunately for you, you never had a clue. Never did you mind the bad habits that I had to serve. Your kindness I took advantage of while hanging out to dry. Enamored with my creation you were. The artist in me had your heart but I could never love you or another more than I loved my vice. It was no longer just a vice it now consumed my life. While with you I ate, bathed and gained strength to go out and do it all over again. You never judged or condemned me. But you also understood I couldn’t see you every night… free.

After being out in the wilderness or concrete jungle for a while I would come back veins filled with vice, heart weary, body fatigued. I’d be standing on your line. I do hope you have the time. To me you’ll always be no more than number two but when in need I’d keep a date with you. Again I’ll take advantage while, you hang me out to dry but I can’t see you every night… free.

Whenever I returned you welcomed me with open arms and a warm embrace. From one baby to another it would seem that I’m lucky I met you. You, always the willing victim didn’t mind if my only duty was to completely drain you.

You just yearned for that passionate kiss from my mouth to yours, I like you. I’ll never love you because I couldn’t love myself but I could love myself better than you. You know it’s true so what should I do? When I’m through with you it’s like I’m high up on a plane; I can’t complain.

When you are no longer able to satisfy my needs I must bid you a due. Never will I burden my mind with memories of you. Once were you a person of purpose to me when I was in need of a warm bed and a hot meal. Service you I did as payment for my nourishment and lodging. Tears you shed after I fled but your hurt was of no consequence to me. The respect you lacked, for yourself made it easier for me to flee because if you can’t love yourself better than this; how can you ever be loved by me?

About A Girl

Addicted to Chaos!

Get y’all bad asses in this house and shut up all that damn noise in there! I’m sorry Miss Mary, I appreciate you bringin’ the boys home for me. They’re always into somethin’, wit they bad asses. I don’t know why these kids is so damn bad or where they get it from. I need ta whip they asses more.

Tamara took a drag off of her Newport and blew the smoke in the air out over Miss Mary’s head. She stepped out onto the porch and took a seat in one of the plastic chairs next to Miss Mary.

Please Miss Mary take a seat.

Thank you, but I can’t stay long; I got some neck bones in a pot on low. It’s about time to add my beans. I usually make my butter beans with a left over ham bone and scraps or some ham hock but I decided to make ’em with neck bones this time. I ain’t done that in years.

You sure can cook Miss Mary.

Well thank you sugar. I’ll bring you down a bowl when it’s done.

Tamara threw her cigarette butt to the concrete porch and stomped it out. Then she sighed hard, looked to her older, wiser neighbor and asked a simple question.

How you do it Miss Mary?

What you mean child?

How you always stay calm and got three kids two in college and one about to go to school on a football scholarship. Your husband died when your kids was young and you ain’t got no more money than everybody else around here but you stay doing good. You live good your kids do good and you always got what you need.

Miss Mary smiled then chuckled at the young girl’s statement before responding, flattered.

Well the first thing is Jesus; trust and believe in Jesus. He’ll give you peace and help you to make wise decisions. Invest your time and energy into what’s important, your children. Show the babies love all the time ’cause sometimes it’s tough.

Tamara took a second to grasp exactly what Miss Mary was trying to tell her.

Well Miss Mary it’s hard to love these bad kids I got, they take after their daddies. No matter how much I holla, scream or beat, they still gonna be bad. Just like their daddies.

Miss Mary took a moment to choose her words carefully before replying to Tamara.

Well if it were me the first thing I would do is stop telling them that their bad, ’cause eventually they start to believe it. Then they start being bad. I would make sure that there were plenty of positive activities for them to get involved in. Things they love to do, sports, clubs, drama, karate or something. Then instead of beatin’ on ’em you can take a way their special thing until they can behave themselves. Love them; tell them how much you love them everyday. Were their daddies good or bad?

Tamara frowned up her brow as she tried to think about each of her baby daddies’ and their personalities.

All four of them ain’t… nothing. They all bad.

Well baby if all of them are no good then don’t keep tellin’ your children that they are just like them. Don’t continue the drama in their lives. If you used to fight and argue with the fathers and the children saw it then you are teaching them the wrong love lessons. When you yell and fuss at them all the time it teaches them bad love lessons. We should want our children to learn that we show the most love and respect to family. We need to protect not hurt the people closest to us.

Tamara offered a knowing nod. Miss Mary continued on.

When I say hurt I mean physically, emotionally, spiritually or mentally. Baby you gotta stop being addicted to chaos; it’s not good for you or your babies.

Tamara smiled then giggled.

Addicted to chaos? Miss Mary you sure got some way of talkin’ but I understand you. I do like a lot of drama; maybe it’s time to stop all that. I’m going to start being sweeter to my kids and maybe I’ll go to church with you sometime if you’ll take me.

Miss Mary rose from her chair with a grunt and a stretch. Whenever you want to go to church honey; just let me know. I’ll be here bright and early in the morning to pick you up. Well you just think about it baby, I need to go tend to my beans. I’ll be back with a bowl when they’re done.

Alright Miss Mary I’ll see you when you come back and thank you again.

Miss Mary winked and smiled at Tamara. Tamara winked and smiled back in an attempt to start being more like Miss Mary as she watched her turn and walk down the road. Tamara turned and walked inside her house to prepare dinner for her boys. She decided that tonight she would ask her four sons what they wanted instead of just making whatever was the easiest. She summoned them.

Boys, what ya’ll want for dinner tonight.

They all ran to her feet from different places in the house with different requests for dinner. Tamara stepped back from them and silently looked down into their little faces. She realized how different and special they all were. She brought joy to their little hearts when she announced that she would make each of their meals and they would all eat them together. Tamara, no longer addicted to chaos!

Age Appropriate

Hey honey, what’s your name?

Troy looked the odd older lady over before answering her. He tried his best not to laugh out loud as she shimmied and shook off beat to the music. He couldn’t help but wonder what she was doing there and who she was with.

My name is Troy… ma’am.

Miriam rubbed up close to the young man, resting her hand on top of his, stroking gently back and forth. She seemed to purr as she spoke.

Ma’am is what you call your mama Troy and I’m not her but I could be if you want me to.

Troy remained respectful to the elder woman as he slowly slid his hand from under hers and off the bar.

I’m sorry. What is your name?

Miriam.

It’s very good to meet you Miriam.

Well it’s very good to meet you too mister. So, you here waiting on somebody or you just hanging out today?

I guess I’m just hanging out.

Well again, it is good to meet you.

Miriam attempted to raise her soft wrinkling hand to his lips. Troy easily lowered her hand and shook it. Miriam flirted with and touched Troy when she could. Seductively she spoke to him in an attempt to arouse him.

The sports bar was a little thin on that slow Tuesday in March. So bar fly Troy didn’t mind the attention of the older woman without many eyes to witness it. The drinks were flowing and Miriam was buying. She smiled seductively behind her glasses, freckles popping off of her smooth light brown skin. She did look young for her age but she could easily be Troy’s mother’s older sister.

Happy hour was almost over and Miriam was trying to get her young buck back to the stable. Troy, an underachieving twenty something sleeping on his aunt’s couch had nothing better to do than to go home with a new sugar mama. Miriam paid the tab and led Troy out of the bar.

You just come on with me baby. I’ll bring you back to get your car.

Troy happily got into the passenger seat of Miriam’s sporty coupe. Little did she know Troy had no car to come back to. He often got dropped off at the local watering hole by his aunt on her way to her second job.

Troy knew everyone in town, being born and raised there so he would just ask someone from his neighborhood to give him a ride home when the bar closed. Right hand on thigh riding up higher and higher while with the left Miriam drove with a wide smile on her face. The cougar had captured her prey; now she just needed to get him back to her cave. Troy was willing prey, she had him in her grip, his lap was heating up as Miriam continued to rub. Her caresses became more and more pleasurable to him as his nature started to rise to Miriam’s delight. She was gonna rock his world!

Soon they arrived at her home. She pulled into the garage and killed the engine. Miriam leaned over and gave the drunken young boy a full kiss on the lips before exiting the vehicle. The garage door closed behind them as they entered the home. Miriam led her young soon to be lover to the kitchen.

You want another drink baby?

Sure.

Two strong tall drinks of cognac and cola were iced and poured then she took his hand and led him down the hallway to her bedroom. Just as they walked pass one of the guess bedrooms, a door popped open and a woman called out.

Mom, do you think I could borrow your… Oh, I didn’t know you had company.

Yes, I do.

Miriam tried to push pass her daughter and get Troy to her bed. Troy tried to keep his head down, ashamed of being snared by the older woman. Unfortunately for him, the young woman recognized him.

Troy?!?!?

He looked up and back.

Sharon?

Sharon covered her mouth with her hands. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Her high school sweetheart was hooking up with her recently divorced mother. Miriam was miffed at her daughter for disturbing her groove.

Y’all know each other?

Although appalled, Sharon answered quickly, nonchalantly.

Oh yea, we went to high school together.

Well that’s nice, come on Troy.

She dragged him into her bedroom then shut and locked the door. Miriam wanted to be sure there were no more interruptions. Troy couldn’t get Sharon out of his head at first but eventually he gave in to the liquor and Miriam’s warm, moist mouth. As the moaning started Sharon exited the home.

Sharon made her way to her best girlfriend’s house. She really didn’t want anyone to know about her cougar mother’s behavior but she knew she had to speak with someone. April was amazed at what she heard.

What girl! Get the hell outta here!

I wish I was playing girl but I’m serious.

Why didn’t you break it up. Wouldn’t no boom boom be going on wit my mama. No!

Look April, she’s grown. I can’t tell her what to do.

But what did she say when you told her you used to go with him.

Sharon paused for a moment. The suspense was killing April.

What girl?

I didn’t tell her we dated. I just told her we went to school together and then she dragged him in her room. I thought Troy would say something or she might ask more questions, but nope.

April took a moment to choose her words carefully.

I don’t understand; you used to love that boy. How could you just let it happen?

Sharon exhaled heavily. She had already come to grips with her mother’s behavior and her true feelings for Troy.

That love was puppy love, which is no love. I dumped him before I went away to college because he had no direction or goals. He just wanted to hang around with his friends being a knucklehead. People have told me all about Troy. While we were away at college getting degrees, he was here being a bum bouncing from couch to couch. I don’t have any feelings for him and as for my mother; that’s a different story. Since my parents got divorced and she moved into this new house she has just lost it. She has been running around with young boys, hanging out in places that she shouldn’t be. I think she is going through a mid-life crisis or something. I am going to tell her about the relationship I had with that boy when I was a girl. I let it happen because right now they deserve each other. I love my mother, I always will but I can’t wait till my condo is ready on Tuesday. I’ve got to get away from her crazy.

April scooted over and gave her dear friend a hug. She understood that Sharon really needed someone to listen to her vent more than give her advice. April decided that they would make a girls night of it, she didn’t want her friend to go back into that house where her former boyfriend was sleeping with her mother. The two young ladies enjoyed a late dinner out followed by a few cocktails.

They ended the night watching a movie on cable which they both fell asleep to. There they were, just like high school, asleep in the living room with popcorn, blankets and pillows strewn about the room. That night Sharon enjoyed the best sleep she had in years. The next morning they would share a light brunch after hitting the gym. The night and day were very therapeutic for her, It was just what she needed after a semi-traumatic experience.

The scene wasn’t quite as heartwarming or special at Miriam’s house. There was a hung over young man staring at himself in the mirror of her master bathroom. Troy washed his face over and over again yet still, the shame would not leave him. He had thoughts of sneaking out but before he could get up the nerve Miriam called for him.

Troy, baby are you okay in there?

Yes, I’ll be out in a minute.

Alright sweetie, you want some breakfast?

Sure, thank you.

Alright, I’ll see you at the breakfast table.

Okay, I’ll be right there.

Oh and there is a robe, towel and washcloth on the sink for you if you want to take a shower.

Thanks.

Finally she made her way down the hallway towards the kitchen. Troy ran his hands through his dreads then wondered how he could get out of this mess. He showered, long and hard still no thoughts came to mind. Eventually he was resigned to the reality that he would be joining Mrs. Robinson for breakfast and quite possibly lunch. After showering he dried off and put on the robe she laid out for him.

As he approached the kitchen he could hear Miriam on the phone apparently talking to one of her friends who was also a notorious predatory cougar.

Yea girl, I bagged me a young tenderoni last night. Uh um, this young buck can go too. I think he went to school with Sharon or something but hell everybody grown now.

Troy didn’t want to walk in on her talking like that so he made some noise to make his presence known.

Oh, here he comes now girl. What, do what you wouldn’t do. Oh don’t you worry, I already did. Bye Girl.

Troy took his seat and his new mama fixed a plate for him. She gazed across the table at him. Miriam had been up for two hours. She had already shaved, showered and made her face up again. In addition to that she took many pictures with and of her new boo. She even went as far as to pose him with shades on. The lost woman felt no shame. Troy looked back at the woman. She was fifty-seven, could pass for forty-seven but liked her men under twenty-seven.

So, what you got planned today Mr. man? I thought maybe we could go to Hots for lunch and then hit the mall for a movie. While I’m there I think I’ll pick up some new shoes for the gym. Will you join me today?

Miriam reached across the table and rubbed Troy’s hand just as she had when they met the night before. Again Mama was footing the bill and he had nothing better to do. The sorry little boy in him always won out. He had no pride or need for independence, only a sponsor or patron.

I’ve never been to Hots before I heard they got some good food. I was going to get into a something today but you know I could do that tomorrow.

Miriam rose elegantly from her seat and walked over to where Troy was seated. She wiped bacon grease from his lips then pushed the table forward and sat on his lap. She wiggled and bounced a little until she felt his little soldier stand at attention.

We’re gonna have us a good time today.

She gave him a seductive full kiss on the lips then rubbed his lips with her forefinger removing the lip stick she left on his mouth. It would seem that Troy was being taken in by Miriam’s mature charms. He kissed her back then placed his hand inside of her night gown. As their groping and pawing became more intense Sharon entered the kitchen.

Ill! I thought you would be gone by now Troy. Mom look at yourself; what are you doing?

Miriam got off of her young lover’s lap, closed her night gown and tried to straighten herself up a bit. She took a seat as her daughter continued to scold them.

Mom I think it is time you started dated men more age appropriate instead of twenty-five year-old losers. As for you Troy, you are just nasty. You are even more sorry than they said you were. I’m glad I dumped you when I did.

Miriam was surprised by what she was hearing.

What do you mean? He used to be your boyfriend?

Sharon rolled her eyes.

Yes Mom, we used to date back in high school but you never met him. You know that Daddy wouldn’t let me date no bum so I didn’t bring him around. I liked him but I knew from what Daddy taught me that he was less than what I deserved in a man. He had no plan or ambition so I couldn’t let him drag me down. I went away to college, got my degree and found a career for myself just to come back home and see my mother making the mistakes I refused to make.

Miriam looked down at her kitchen linoleum flooring, suddenly ashamed for her actions. It would seem that her daughter was now wiser than she.

I don’t know what you are going through Mom but you need to get yourself together because this is embarrassing. As for you Troy, go get a job and stop prostituting yourself for liquor and lodging. You’re pitiful. Mom, don’t worry, I’ll be out of here Tuesday and you can screw all the young bums and my former boyfriends that you want! This is ridiculous. You should both be ashamed of yourselves.

Sharon stormed down the hall to the guest bedroom leaving Miriam and Troy in a strange silence in the kitchen. Neither of them could bring themselves to look the other in the eye. Miriam had never felt so much shame in her life. Being lectured by her only child really opened her eyes; she could now see how foolish and cheap she had been.

Troy thought to himself about the fact that the girl he loved in high school didn’t even think enough of him to let him meet her parents. She dumped him because she predicted him to be a failure in life and here he was, failing.

He thought about the two children he had fathered but never supported and the string of fat chicks and old cougars he had slept with just to get a free meal, drink or drugs. He had no permanent address or vehicle and nothing going for himself. All Troy owned was a bunch of burned bridges left in the wake of his lazy foolish life. He had no where in particular to go but he knew that he had to get out of there.

Both Miriam and Troy were disgusted with themselves. The thrill was gone and there was no more passion between the two. When the