Getting to Know Steve Beat Before His Journey to the Planet of the Apes

By Steve Beat

This is Steve Beat’s tale of monsters and mayhem. He hopes you enjoy it because he happened to have put everything into it, including his very own collection of music available on the various selling outlets. Oh yeah, and Steve Beat takes us on a set of wild adventures, ranging from his experience around some of the greatest ball players to walk the Earth to his horrific experiences with the supernatural. In the middle of these adventures includes his grueling bicycle ride across the Colorado countryside and of course his unorthodox method of treating unwilling clients. Steve Beat somehow ventures to the planet of the apes, where he is subject to the grueling task of saving the world and righting the wrongs of the past.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Steve Beat
• Release date: Aug 8, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005987862

Steve Beat

Steve grew up in a quiet neighborhood in Worceston, Massachusetts. It was such a splendid village with thousands and thousands of little boys and girls. He fell in love with his one true passion rap music and began his entry into the world of Hip Hop. It was no regular entry as he figured he could take the world by storm by creating an album that wasn’t just made for young men but also for their sisters, nosa. His entry consisted of nine songs in no specific order, and you can find them all in one place namely the album Steve Beat The One. Hopefully you can buy it or at least buy this book that consists of a duo of Steve Beat tunes selected by none other than his private and personal narrator Steven Carley.

Book preview

Getting to Know Steve Beat

Before His Journey to the Planet of the Apes

Copyright 2022 Steve Beat

and published by Steve Beat at Smashwords

Smashwords Edition License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table of Contents

Prologue

Chapter One The Bestest Player in the Whole Wide World HA HA

Chapter Two The Slump

Chapter Three Team Sommers

Chapter Four My Dripping Galoshes

Chapter Five Steve Beat’s a Good Guy

Chapter Six Steve Beat’s Still a Good Guy

Chapter Seven The Rabbit’s Pub

Chapter Eight The Governor’s Mansion

Chapter Nine Old Time Brawl

Chapter 10 Where’s Roger Sperry?

Chapter 11 Wonder Beat Activate

Chapter 12 The Chimps at Chanute

Chapter 13 The Planet of the Apes

About the Author

Other Books by this Author

Connect with Steve Beat

Prologue

This is Steve Beat’s tale of monsters and mayhem. He hopes you enjoy it because he happened to have put everything into it, including his very own collection of music available on the various selling outlets. Oh yeah, and Steve Beat takes us on a set of wild adventures, ranging from his experience around some of the greatest ball players to walk the Earth to his horrific experiences with the supernatural. In the middle of these adventures includes his grueling bicycle ride across the Colorado countryside and of course his unorthodox method of treating unwilling clients. Steve Beat somehow ventures to the planet of the apes, where he is subject to the grueling task of saving the world and righting the wrongs of the past.

Chapter One

It all happened 16 years after the joust as it came known in this neck of the woods and everywhere else for that matter that grew grass and called it a baseball field. You know that classic duel between the Whammer and the legendary hero of the game. I believe I need no introduction unless of course you are not from Earth. We all knew about it, striking out our legendary star, the best player we ever had and ever will have. Striking out the Whammer is one thing. Sure, many a man has been known and can typically strike out another from time to time. It happens and it is understandable but to strike out on three pitched balls period when you know they are coming is unheard of.

It would be as striking out a man in the top of the 13th inning only two other guys also safely reached base, but next two other guys were easy put outs, meaning the team was forced to the absolute brink and couldn’t give up a single run. Well to add to the drama with none on and none out, only three guys reached base safely in a row and the next batter got a bit ahead in the count at three balls and no strikes, so now the bases are loaded. So we have the best hitter ever, the Whammer at the plate, who is a parallel to the even greater George Ruth or at least a tie. We just might have to give the nod to Herman AKA the Babe because of the Whammer’s epic fail at what has come to be known as the joust.

So in comes the legend from the bullpen, who even the Whammer was questioning how successful he could possibly be against a guy who threw a spectacular eight/nine no hitters in the bigs just before reaching that level or even the level before that level. I mean come on, these guys can play. The standard 60-foot six-inch distance doesn’t get any further or closer no matter where you are playing. Roy though unconfidently approached the situation as if the Whammer had a secret to hitting a 100 mile per hour fastball other than he was so crazy to stand in there and risk catastrophe being a hard one off the noggin.

You see they (the ball players) didn’t wear helmets in those days, but I did. I’m Steve Beat, the former bat and ball boy for the former professional baseball team the New York Knights. You’d never see me sporting my helmet during the road games because of league rules and because Pop, my great uncle, wouldn’t have it. I always wanted to dawn my helmet though right there in the dugout. I actually patented the first sporting helmet and am living comfortably today because of my great idea, nosa. Seriously though perhaps they should have played with helmets back then so we could all have a laugh when the pitcher dawned one in contention. They have noggins too, geesh. Some of these screamers are hit so fast the pitcher can’t even get his glove up, let alone move out of the way.

I did some pitching in my day but only at the junior varsity level. This was after my stint as the bat boy of the major league Knights. We were pretty decent as a team, in fact, we were the best in the league. You could figure all of us to make it to the Bigs, but we didn’t even all make it to the varsity team myself included, oh well. Next time around we will just have to hit massive roof shots like Bryce Harper when he was still a high school player. We couldn’t though because we all didn’t strategically choose our batting weapon and lift weights all day. If we did, who knows perhaps our team makes the varsity and the varsity team only plays for the junior varsity. At least some of us should have been there, myself included, hint, hint, wink. I was the leader of the team in runs batted in and extra bases. Who am I? I even pitched too, nosa just kidding, HA HA.

I never pitched one game in the bigs, but I swear I could have struck them out when I was 12 or maybe 14. You see I had a doozy of a curve ball, and I could strike out all the varsity players in the city league I was from. Only I actually forgot how to throw my patented looping curve ball when I was pitching on the junior varsity team. I still had a decent fastball but nothing compared to that traditional looping Beat slider and curveball. I remember it now though and developed my knuckler, which is why I am currently on the Woo Sox roster in the minors as an extended reliever. I swear if I throw all knucklers, I am good for two starts a week. Only they want a three earned run average, and I am more of a four. Oh well, to the bullpen for me. I am Phil Niekro reincarnate, HA HA.

Well let me introduce myself further, I am Steve Beat again, and I just wanted to talk about the bestest player in the whole wide world and who I had grown rather fond of after first meeting him at Knights Field in New York City on that fateful day. I still remember Bower was on the mound, and we were playing the Pirates of Pittsburgh. My great uncle Pop knew Roy was coming to the game and was understandably excited to finally meet the outright victor of the famed joust as it became known between the Whammer and our own the pride of the Knights and all of New York city at the time Roy the Hitman as they called him. He attained this nickname over time on account of his massive hitting streak, where he hit a home run in a whopping 13 straight games only to fall into a slump that was ended with the triumphant return of the lady in white as they called her. We will go back to that later though. Roy didn’t hit a home run in 13 straight games, but he was really killing the ball, and it sure seemed like he did though. Believe me I was there, and I couldn’t tell the difference. For the sake of legend, let’s just say it was 13 straight games with a home run. What a player!

In any case, my great uncle Pop didn’t want us to know that the legend of Worceston as they referred to Roy after witnessing the joust first-hand just 16 short years earlier was arriving at the ball park on that fine day. The classic phrase arose from the joust that everyone remembers to this day three is all he’ll need, Whammer. Referring of course to Cubs scout Sam Simpson’s $10 wage that Roy could strike out the Whammer on three pitched balls, which of course we know that Roy inevitably lost. Although Roy was triumphant in fanning the Whammer in three pitched balls impossibly by any stretch of the imagination because even I could make contact under such a scenario.

In all fairness, the Whammer took the first pitch and was thrown off when the second pitch was a breaking ball. That is why Roy was so devastating on the mound. No one could account for the drop in speed between Roy’s breaking ball and his fastball. Guess they just sat there waiting for one or the other and never both because they couldn’t. That was how good Roy and I were at the plate, we didn’t wait on anybody, nosa. I know that the Whammer knew that the third pitch was going to be a fastball too. The crowd around the joust that day as the story do say were all calling for a heater to finish it.

In any case, legend has it that the Whammer was on to Harriet Bird and suspected she was the silver bullet slayer as some referred to her on account of her traveling the country as a salesperson and shooting and murdering our sports stars. The Whammer must have figured he could get Ms. Bird off of his back and place the attention on young Roy. It worked, and remarkably, Roy wound up taking the patented silver bullet in the gut in the place of the legendary Whammer, who clearly had a more remarkable career statistically than Roy. Roy’s greatness was mere speculation even to this day, but what a hit, right off the clock tower, holy s!#%. Did the Whammer ever do that and in Wrigley Field, where Roy was supposed to get his start as a pitcher. That was incredible, take that Whammer, win one for Roy.

Of course, this was all before I was around but from what I heard of it was really something. Imagine striking out the best hitter ever in a mere three pitches and a wage, gosh gee. I don’t believe Whammer knew Ms. Bird was a killer, and we all wouldn’t if Max Percy didn’t write that incredibly invasive article about Roy, oh well, what an idiot. They don’t make ‘em like that no more, nosa. We all knew about it and talked about it to this day, but we never let Roy know that we were all aware that he was the best pitcher ever no matter what anyone says about him. Why if it wasn’t for Harriet, I heard Roy was going to break every record in the book, but it is just speculation. I never heard anything about Roy being no hitter, boy could he play from that side of the plate.

Then Roy could walk down the street and hold his head up high as people said there goes Roy Hobbs, the best there ever was and ever will be. What else is there to baseball anyhow? I looked around and saw nothing but a bunch of average Joes except for me and Pop because we owned the team, nosa. Roy though, he was something else, and we could sure use his help that year. You see the Judge was part owner too, and he was going to take our share of the team if we didn’t win the pennant, plain and simple. Win the pennant or go home with nothing.

Thing was the Judge didn’t actually own the team. In fact, we never knew who the hell he was. We just know that Gus, who did a marvelous magic eye trick with his one eye larger than