They Come with Instructions: Biblical Principles for Raising Children

By René Anderson

They Come With Instructions offers Biblical principles to confront the challenges of raising respectful and responsible children in today’s culture. René Anderson has done the work for parents and researched the Manufacturer's Manual for answers to debunk the age-old theory that children do not come with instructions. There are instructions found in the Word of God.

René shares behaviors parents may anticipate and should prepare for. While offering practical tips and tools to aid in developing discipline, character, and accountability in children through adulthood. Regardless of race, age, or personal beliefs, rookie and veteran parents will connect with and benefit from the relatable antidotes shared in this book.

You will become convinced too, that children…THEY COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jun 27, 2022
• ISBN: 9781387854097

Book preview

DEDICATION

To my Daddy, I miss you! You taught me to Stand on my own two feet as a girl, not realizing how much I would need those lessons as an adult. You said, I’m proud of you, baby, when I was managing my household alone, which gave me the push necessary to stay the course... Thank you.

To Pastor Alvin, who named my sons his ‘little disciples’ when they helped carry his camera equipment before we had Adjutants in the church. You were a great example of a Christ-like man for them to follow, and Dr. Mamie Sconiers-Leonard, the Prayer and Shut-In Ministry sealed my passion for Christ. Together, your leadership helped develop my gifts and provided what I needed to grow through those difficult days.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

To my sovereign King Jesus Christ, the glory You get out of my life, by making my life a living testimony, has developed an endless praise from me. You can count on me to praise You... Forever.

To my 4 sons – Duke, Jason, Caleb and Micah. - You make me strive for excellence because you are such remarkable young men. I am so grateful God allowed me to be your mother. Raising you, encouraging you, and loving you all have brought the most difficult moments of my life and been my greatest joy. This experience – being your mother - has made me a better person, increased my prayer life, and took my faith journey to places I never imagined. I am so Godly proud of you and humbled to be connected to your greatness. Thank you, sons, for allowing me to use you as billboards to display the FAITHFULness of GOD. I love you with all my heart. Always remember who you are…

To my parents, the late Rollie Lee (R.L.) and Mother Ruby H. Robinson, thank you for instilling values in my siblings and me. Thank you for the nurturing home you provided for us. Thank you for our cross-country family vacations, every other year, as children. You were excellent role models of hard work and togetherness. Your sacrifices to give us so much will never be forgotten and will always be appreciated. We were so blessed to have a healthy example of love, marriage, and family in our home. We had a happy, stable childhood, free from drama and abuse. Thank you for everything you did to help and support me with my boys. Vicky and Reggie, I love y’all!

To my siblings, nieces, nephews, sister-friends, aunts, uncles, and many cousins, you fill my life with love, laughter, and great memories. I am honored that God connected us. Your constant encouragement makes me believe in what you see in me. We are a blessed family. Love you, mean it.

INTRODUCTION

How many times throughout your life have you heard the expression, Kids don’t come with instructions? I have heard it more times than I can remember. It is a phrase used when parents are uncertain about what is best for their child or what decision to make. For example, when your four-year-old son says, Mom, I want to be a girl. Or the moment your nine-year-old son asks to get his ear pierced. Or your sixteen-year-old wants to know at what age they’re allowed to get tattoos, even if they promise to get one with your name. Or that moment when the phone rings at 11:30 p.m. and your teenage son is on the other end. Reluctant to tell you what’s going on, you sense distress in his voice, only to hear him say, Mom, I’ve been arrested. Can you come to get me? Unless you are equipped and prepared, the responsibility of raising children could stress you out.

Even with preparation, these moments produce feelings similar to what you experience while driving down the street when codes and sensors flash across the dash of your vehicle. Warnings and alarms start sounding. The car begins to shut off as you attempt to safely pull over out of traffic. Frustrated. Afraid. Overwhelmed. Helpless. You make it to the side of the road, having no clue what the alarms and codes mean. At some point, you think, ‘Where is the manufacturer’s manual?’ Have you ever had those same feelings – frustrated, afraid, overwhelmed, and or helpless – about raising your children? Please do not beat yourself up about it. You are not alone.

Parents, for generations, have shared those same feelings. My mother said it to me probably because her mother said it to her. After wishing she handled a situation differently with my siblings or me, my mother touted, as somewhat of an apology, You kids don’t come with instructions…. I, too, once shared in that thinking and have experienced those emotions. Rather frequently when my boys were younger. I was outnumbered; it was more of them than me. Raising children is hard work. Parenting is a never-ending responsibility. But don’t let me frighten you. They grow so quickly; it’s not a cliché. Before you know it, they’ll be grown and gone. That’s the goal anyway if you parent correctly.

Regardless of how you become a mother or whose child you parent, the rewards of investing in your children reap great harvests. This is what led to the birth of this book. I believe the journey of becoming a mother and learning how difficult parenting is, made me realize that even if the other parent walks out, there is help available. This is my story and real experiences of rearing children as a single mother in South Central Los Angeles (L.A.), where I was born and raised.

My parents provided a loving home with no dysfunction and remained happily married for over forty years; until my father passed away. Although my parents played and had fun with us, those occasions were rare. My father, the eldest son of twelve siblings, taught us by example to work hard and respect the money we earn. While my mother, number seventeen of eighteen siblings, supported education and instilled in us the fear of the Lord. I was the youngest of the family, growing up with a sister and a brother. Coming from huge extended families on both sides, in conjunction with our blended family, my siblings and I witnessed unconditional love, excellent examples of family structure, and the benefits of two people working together.

Our neighborhood was a nice little nook, somewhat away from the crime and violence associated with the inner city. Most of the families on my block were two-parent homes with hardworking adults who wanted a comfortable and safe environment for themselves. On Brighton Avenue, we had that. We played outside, up and down the street, with the surrounding gangs offering a sense of protection. My siblings and I had to be in the house before the streetlights came on. Brighton Avenue became the same street where I would purchase my first home and begin raising my children.

As a little girl, I loved babies. Wherever there was a baby, I wanted to be right next to it. On Brighton Avenue, I would knock on the doors and ask, "Can I come play with your baby? If at church, I’d be sitting near the newest mom. Observing different parenting styles, I was forming an opinion the entire time on how I would treat my baby—deciding what norms I would someday implement with my children. Before becoming a mother, I knew certain behaviors I would not tolerate from my kids – girls or boys. Calling me by my first name, that wasn’t going to happen. Telling me to shut up or saying things like that’s stupid" was unacceptable. I had seen this in other households. That exchange between parent and child would not occur with me and mine, whether in jest or playful banter. Respect was important to me, even as a young person.

My mother made me accompany her to church many nights without making my siblings. She made me go with