Words, Experiences, and Observations of a Bering Sea Captain: Real-life shit

By Lee Woodard II

A third volume of deep-cutting spiritual poems addressing the deepest human feelings.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gatekeeper Press
• Release date: May 26, 2022
• ISBN: 9781662926419

Book preview

1

In accepting who I am, I understand that I have fear. My biggest fear is public speaking. That fear is one of the most common, and for the sufferers is the worst fear they have. To fall into a lie might keep you from your potential. I felt, for a very long time, ashamed, and I did not want to have attention on me that way. In school with my kids at assemblies, I was petrified. I am a Bering Sea Captain, and I felt strong fear of a room full of kids. I would rather have been back fighting for my life, backtracking for shelter 120 miles from shore in 50-foot seas; that means more knowing that really happened. You see, you cannot judge someone for one fear, or even many fears. Anyone who says nothing scares them or they don’t get scared, is full of shit.

2

Earlier in my life when I had many other responsibilities, I felt a STRONG call to serve. Now I feel not only the support around me, but I think back then, I wasn’t ready yet. My whole life can be described as better late than never.

3

I posted my opinion on the difference between courage and bravery. Now I want to talk about guilt and shame. This comparison is more important to get right, I think. Guilt is something you should feel about sin. Shame is something you should never feel in THIS life. In my opinion, guilt is conviction, and shame is condemnation. God condemns many people too, and that has troubled me in the past, just like the Old Testament did. The path is narrow and few find the way, It is easier to pass through the eye of a needle, you get the point. Not everyone you see in this life, will be seen in the next one. lots of people will not make it, HIS words, not mine. Thinking some of us were made by HIM knowing they would fail, was confusing to me. God hardened Pharaoh’s heart. I never found anywhere in the Bible what his conclusion was, but it wasn’t looking good, last I read about him. Knowing that was HIS plan, helped me understand and turbocharged my concern. I think the only time I should feel shame is on MY judgement day. I feel that is the only time to feel shame, AFTER the fight, standing before the King. I feel any SHAME you feel while in this life searching for the truth is an attack. For me embarrassment is OK in THIS life, SHAME is not. Shame almost kept me from my salvation, and that is the basis of my conclusion here, my own life experience. Understanding like this helped me, I wanted to share that. I still get embarrassed too much, but if you knew me, you would know that’s a good thing, it helps keep me humble.

Eventually, everyone will show you their true colors. How long it takes is your fault, not theirs.

The best indication to date, for me now to know how much my gal loves me, is that she never mentions my skid marks.

If you want to get right with God, get on your knees. To get right with this world, you must pay their fees.

If you take the entire history of male ministry, it comes down to two categories as I see it. Those who experienced a fall during their ministry, and those who experienced a fall before their ministry. I have had a very hard time with men who fell while supposedly serving God. Only trust what stands up to The Eternal Word. The reason why, is that today with all the study of time and language and translation, God’s Eternal Word is more reliable than ever. Test it all against God’s Eternal word. Do not toss out everything about someone because of sin. Use the word as accurate as it is proven to be now, and approach as it instructs.

I feel lead to talk about fear for a moment. Much of my efforts either include fear or are about fear. Fear can show up anywhere, at any time. When I was first saved as an adult, it happened in a Catholic Church. The father was leading me in prayer but using more modern techniques. He asked me to describe my vision with my mind’s eye, with my eyes closed, while I was asking Jesus into my heart. I envisioned a large dark room. I was on one side, and Jesus was WAY over there. He said, As you pray, in your mind’s eye, walk toward Jesus. I told him I felt too afraid. He told me to just take small steps, as small as I needed. That is how I finally got traction, and those around me at that time suffered. I wanted to hit the mission fields, OK. Fear held me back even from my salvation. If you ask 100 people their opinion of fear, you are going