Excuse Me While I Wag: A Dilbert Book

By Scott Adams

It’s a dog-eat-dog world in the workplace—and no one knows that better than Dilbert. Get ready to LOL with everyone’s favorite embattled engineer.

Cubicle-dwelling business people the world over have been knowingly nodding, faithfully push-pinning their favorite strips to their cube walls, and—most of all—belly laughing out loud ever since Dilbert first arrived on the scene. In this collection, Excuse Me While I Wag, Dilbert and his look-alike dog, Dogbert, once again provide comic relief to anyone who has ever had to inhabit a cubicle, endure an “initiative of the week,” or simply work in an office that has, on occasion, caused them to pull out large clumps of their hair. Scott Adams’s dead-on humor in Excuse Me While I Wag is sure to satisfy the hordes of fans worldwide who avidly follow the misadventures of Dogbert, Catbert, Ratbert, the pointy-haired boss, and the rest of the cast of characters in Dilbert’s world—a world that’s eerily like the one we work in daily.

“Confined to their cubicles in a company run by idiot bosses, Dilbert and his white-collar colleagues make the dronelike world of Kafka seem congenial.” —The New York Times

“Once every decade, America is gifted with an angst-ridden anti-hero, a Nietzschean nebbish, an us-against-the-universe everyperson around whom our insecurities collect like iron shavings to a magnet. Charlie Chaplin. Dagwood Bumstead. Charlie Brown. Cathy. Now, Dilbert.” —The Miami Herald

• Language: English
• Publisher: Open Road Integrated Media
• Release date: Apr 10, 2012
• ISBN: 9781449427153

Scott Adams

Scott Adams is the creator of Dilbert, the comic strip that now appears in 1,550 newspapers worldwide. His first two hardcover business books, The Dilbert Principle and Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook, have sold more than two million copies and have appeared on the New York Times bestseller list for a combined total of sixty weeks.

Book preview

This book contains no cilantro.

Introduction

The other day I was at Sears, enjoying the intoxicating fragrance of fresh tools and marveling at the fact that there isn’t one best way to rotate a bolt. I think Sears has a whole division of wrench developers who sit around asking questions like, What if the bolt is in a dark place, around a corner, slightly stripped, guarded by a trained raccoon? Then someone in the wrench division makes a tool that’s part wrench, part flashlight, and part tranquilizer dart gun. All I know is that when they’re done, I’ll buy three of them—one for the tool bench, one for the car and one in case I lose one.

None of this has anything to do with my point; I just like tools.

Anyway, as I was leaving Sears, I passed a naughty lingerie store and pressed my face to the window hoping to catch a glimpse of some more tools. They didn’t have any. But what I saw was very disturbing. It was an employee who, in my opinion, was not the very best fit for the lingerie-selling profession.

Now, before I tell you about this employee, and you judge me to be unkind, let me