Journey to Cubeville: A Dilbert Book
By Scott Adams
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About this ebook
Dilbert, Dogbert, and the rest of the world’s favorite cubicle dwellers are sure to leave you rolling in your workspace with Scott Adams’s cartoon collection, Journey to Cubeville.
Dilbert creator Scott Adams has something special for everyone who thinks their workplace is a living monument to inefficiency—or, for those who have been led to believe unnecessary work is like popcorn for the soul.
Adams lampoons everything in the business world that drives the sane worker into the land of the lunacy:
- Network administrators who have the power to paralyze an entire business with a mere keystroke
- Accountants who force you to battle ferociously to get reimbursed for a $2.59 ham sandwich you scarfed while traveling
- Managers obsessed with perfect-attendance certificates, dead-end projects, and blocking employees from fun web sites and decent office supplies
- Companies spending piles of dough on projects deeply rooted in stupidity, as well as a myriad of stupid consultants
“Go ahead and cut that Dilbert cartoon. Pin it to the wall of your claustrophobic cubicle. Laugh at it around the water cooler, remarking how similar it is to the incomprehensible memos and ludicrous management strategies at your own company.” —The Washington Post
Scott Adams
Scott Adams is the creator of Dilbert, the comic strip that now appears in 1,550 newspapers worldwide. His first two hardcover business books, The Dilbert Principle and Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook, have sold more than two million copies and have appeared on the New York Times bestseller list for a combined total of sixty weeks.
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Journey to Cubeville - Scott Adams
Introduction
Rather than fill this page with a frivolous book introduction that you would soon forget, I thought it would be better to answer all of your questions about the nature of the universe. It’s more work for me, but you’re worth it. Here are the questions I get most often:
Q: I’m a student studying to be an engineer. Is it my fate to sit in a cubicle?
A: No, it’s unlikely that you’ll be sitting. Recent studies show that if employees are piled like firewood, up to forty can be stored in one cubicle. It’s not an ideal arrangement, but you’ll get used to it. One thing they don’t teach you in school is that you can get used to anything if someone forces you.
Q: Do praying mantises burp?
A: Yes, if they run with their mouths open. That causes huge air pockets to form in their thoraxes, not to mention their boraxes and their pickaxes. That air has to go someplace, otherwise the praying mantis becomes bigger and bigger until eventually it buys dark glasses and becomes Howard Stern. But that only happened once.
Q: Is the planet controlled by a secret society of highly intelligent people?
A: No, we don’t like to think of ourselves as a society.
It’s more of a cabal. By the way, what was your home address? We’d like to send you something.
Q: Where’s the rest of the moon when it’s not a full moon?
A: When they landed on the moon in 1969, the astronauts shoveled most of the moon’s surface into special containers and took it home. They would have taken the whole thing, but they needed to keep some dirt there to hold the flag up. If you see something that looks like a full moon, that’s either a false memory or someone playing a practical joke on you.
I hope that answers all of your questions. If I missed anything, I’ll handle it in the next book.
Scott Adams
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