Family Relations: The Glory That’s Meant to Be

By Lingiwe Rumbidzai Jairosi

A radiant family is a gracious equitable gift that has been extended to everyone. However, no matter how good a gift is, one has to know how to operate it, or else it becomes invalid or prone to abuse. God is the institutor of families and, like an architect, He planned and designed households. He established the family unit with a set of operations in place for each member of the family.
An engineer predesigns that a train travels on rails, similarly God has predesigned that families operate in His ways. Human ways have no capability to produce the glorious family life in the same way as the family institution designed by God. His ways revealed in this book, bring out the glory that is meant to be for families.
The book is divided into four parts for husbands, wives, parents and children. Each role is discussed, identifying areas where each individual can improve and successfully keep going with God’s unwavering and infallible help. There is hope for every family to experience the blissful life that God has designed with no one being left behind.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lingiwe Rumbidzai Jairosi
• Release date: May 8, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005108731

Book preview

Introduction for Families

1. Families – God’s initiative

Ephesians 3:14-15 Living Bible:

When I think of the wisdom and scope of his plan I fall down on my knees and pray to the Father of all the great family of God - some of them already in heaven and some down here on earth.

Our heavenly Father has a family of His own that comprises of children in heaven as well as here on earth. His family is not an ordinary family, but a great family as stated in this translation. It depicts that there is greatness in families established and sustained by God. It all starts with God. A household is not an entity designed by men but by God who reveals the order of household settings and how members should relate with one another to bring out the fruitful and blessed life He has planned for families to experience. A household in the eyes of God is meant to be a place of fruitfulness, peace, joy and prosperity. Embrace His ways as stated in His word in relating with one another and trust Him for the outcome of a great family. The role of each member as assigned by the Lord is meant to complement the roles of others, bringing about the complete household life as intended by God. In His kindness, God has given us His Holy Spirit to help us achieve this wonderful life God has designed for households. We can be assured of a victorious household life with no member being left behind when we trust the Holy Spirit who holds all family members together.

Colossians 1:17 Amplified Bible:

And He Himself existed and is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.

2. Serving with expectation in God not men

In Genesis 30, Rachel realised that she was barren, but her sister Leah was bearing children for Jacob. Being envious of her sister, she demanded of her husband Jacob, Give me children or I’ll die. This made Jacob upset with Rachel and he said, Am I in the place of God who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb? In verse 32 it says, Then God remembered about Rachel’s plight, and answered her prayers by giving her a child.

No matter how full a fridge might be with milk, just know it that a fridge does not produce milk. See deeper than the physical situation. Look out for the source. Do not put your expectation of milk on the fridge, hoping that tomorrow you will wake up and find it loaded with milk. If you wake up and indeed find your fridge loaded with milk, know that someone put the milk in your fridge; the fridge does not automatically load itself.

Rachel was short-sighted in the first place as she demanded children from Jacob, which relates to her demanding milk from the fridge. She had not realised the source as the real giver of children. She thought Jacob was the giver of children. That’s why Jacob was upset with her because she was putting him in the place of God. When you put your expectations on men and the outcome does not suit your anticipation, frustrations consume both parties and may lead to the destruction of relationships. When Rachel’s eyes were opened to the source, she began to pray to God, the giver of children. God answered her prayers by giving her a child. They were all glad because they had allowed God to mastermind the whole procedure.

Proverbs 3:6:

In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make straight your path.

God is your source. Your expectation lies in God alone, who enables each one of you to do his or her assignment well. Help one another achieve the best by trusting God, your never-failing ability and the cause of all success. If you don’t find milk in your fridge don’t be troubled, just contact the milk factory and refill but don’t curse the fridge. If you find certain values lacking in your life or in a family member, don’t let worry paralyse you. Instead, contact the Lord, the giver of all things. I once came across some food packaged with this information at the back, If you are not completely satisfied with the product please contact the manufacturer. Actually, the manufacturer is not asking you to improve the product on your own or discard it; he is saying bring it back to me and I shall return it to you in a way that meets your satisfaction. The same with you or your family member, adopt the same concept and God shall not disappoint you, just be patient and trust him to make everything right.

3. You came to serve

Mark 10:45 New International Version:

For even the son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Jesus knew why He came. His purpose was to serve. He came full of grace and truth and people received from Him one blessing upon another. He did not run out of blessings. The same with your household in Christ. Each member is called to serve.

The Lord has already given us all things that pertain to life and godliness. We need to know from the Word of God what we are carrying so that we serve effectively. The Lord has loaded each member with more than enough delivery to one another. You need to stay in the Word of God so that the enemy does not deceive you by letting you think that you have nothing to serve others or you are not fit to serve others. Christ shall help you in this matter as you trust Him to show you the way. He is the one who sent you to serve and along with that, He gives you the power to carry out His instructions. You have something good that God has poured into you to serve to your household.

Receiving appreciation from your family when you serve them is pleasant and naturally motivates you to continue serving or even do more. Thank God for such an environment. However, should you encounter an unthankful sibling, child or parent, do not let your heart be disturbed, but be encouraged to do your part because your assignment is coming from God not men. Choose to obey God in all circumstances. Let nothing stop you, including your feelings. He has called you to serve in all circumstances.

In Luke 6:35 Contemporary English Version, the last part says "… He is good even to people who are unthankful and cruel."

Continue steadfastly then in serving your portion and do not be swayed by others’ responses. Continue in this light and see the transformation it brings to others because light always prevails over darkness. The Holy Spirit shall help you accomplish your task as He is faithful. Hold onto Him and talk to Him often. When light and darkness stand face to face in their intensity, light always wins and darkness has no option but to disappear. You are that light so shine so much that no trace of darkness can survive in your presence.

When you serve in your family, you are rewarded by God, the owner of the institution. You don’t expect or demand your salary from the patients you are treating if you are a nurse; you expect it from the institution you are working for. In Ephesians 6:7 it says, "Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people." The aspect of serving should not be left in short sight but should be traced back to the source who instituted families and initiated the order of servings. He is the real one whom you are serving and accountable to.

4. Your delivery has an address

Jesus knew who was meant for the blessings he was carrying at any particular time. The Father determined the recipients not Him.

Matthew 15:24:

Then He said to the woman, "I was sent to help the Jews –

the lost sheep of Israel – not the Gentiles."

Each blessing and instruction you are carrying from God has a destination. It is not right to serve a spouse the portion which is meant for your child or vice versa, and even worse to serve it outside of your household when it is supposed to be delivered within your own family. If it were money matters, we would call that misappropriation of funds. If it were matters of honour, then misappropriation of honour. If it were support matters, then misappropriation of support. If it were love matters, we would call that misappropriation of love. It should not be like that. Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and to God what is God’s.

No matter how lost a postman might be, he does not drop the mail at any address. It is not allowed. Before he even delivers, he is taken on an induction course to familiarise himself with the job. When he makes his deliveries, he drops them at the correct address on time. That’s good service approved by the employer. You are loaded with messages, actions and blessings that you need to deliver to your household as assigned by the Father who sent you. The Lord Himself shall help you accomplish it successfully to the glory of His name.

Yes, there are other deliveries that God gives you outside of your household. You have to be led by the Holy Spirit in this matter as well. The Lord shall enlighten you on this one as you trust Him. Some end up serving anyhow in accordance with what they think. They disregard the mind of God because they do not know what the Word of God says about serving one another. But when you continue in His Word, you shall know the truth and you shall be enabled to serve effectively to the pleasure of God the Father and the whole family.

Let Jesus say in Matthew 15, It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs. Our Lord Jesus simply meant that you should know what to give to each one, lest you make a wrong delivery not approved by God and not meaningful to the receiver, thus ending in loss.

5. The desire and the power to serve

In a household setup, family members relate by serving one another. This act honours the Lord. That is the way he has designed it to be. His ways are always right and when they are adhered to, they result in abundant life. It is amazing to note that God does not force us into serving one another; He has an incredible way of doing it.

Philippians 2:13 New Living Translation:

For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do

what pleases him.

God has given each family member instructions to abide by. These instructions please Him and prosper us. He feeds from that pleasure of seeing His instructions come to pass. You are a delight to the Lord as you adhere to His instructions. The Lord works out that desire deep in the hearts of His children so much so that in carrying out the instructions of the Lord, they joyfully do so without coercion. Not only does He give you the appetite to carry out His instructions, but along with it He gives you the power to do what pleases Him. So where is failure in this case? What is one’s excuse of not doing what pleases Him? It’s not human ability or power that is needed to carry out God’s instructions. It is His divine desire and power that God