Burning To Live: Finding Your Purpose

By Jack Twig

In "Burning To Live", Jack Twig recounts how being born without a homeland defined his Life's Purpose. He was dedicated to his family, so providing them with financial security and a home kept him focused and motivated.
A series of events, including 2 close brushes with death, all seemed to be part of a divinely inspired destiny that led him to have more than $80 million by the time he was 38. It all just fell into his lap. The money was far more than he or his family would need, so he beleived that he was meant to do something with that money because of how it all came about.
He expected that destiny to continue to unfold and guide him on his "mission".
He was bitterly disappointed when he didn't receive the divine guidance he had hoped for and began to question his Life's Meaning and all his beliefs.
With no guidance and unable to redefine his Purpose, his Life fell apart.
He lashed out against all that is good, descended into a dark hole, and became an animal.
He caused pain to his family, and when he realized what he had done, he couldn't understand how he could have hurt the ones to whom he had dedicated his Life and love.
With no answers and feeling that he was now a burden, he walked away and left everything to them.
It was the only way he knew how to say he was sorry.
But his 3 children never forgave him, so he has carried the weight of guilt for his mistakes.
Over the next 30 years, he searched for Meaning by traveling to many countries while studying and observing religions, science, and human behavior.
He lived through many experiences such as racism, war, revolution, and sickness that showed him that most humans are very short-sighted especially in tough times, and their primary Purpose is their own survival and self-interests.
It saddened him to see that greed for power and money has always been our primary motivation and that civilization is only a thin veneer, especially when social order is disrupted. Although our technology has advanced, we use it to kill more efficiently, and the result is that we haven't evolved as a species.
Our survival depends on us realizing that our Purpose needs to be to help Life evolve, not just acquire as much money and power as possible. Until we do understand our real Purpose, humans will continue the never-ending cycle of war and revenge, such as we are witnessing in Ukraine.
The greatest men and women in our history were not the ones that took the most but rather the ones that gave the most.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: May 3, 2022
• ISBN: 9781667841700

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© 2022 Jack Twig

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical. Photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise be copied for public or private use-other than for fair use-as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews-without prior written permission of the author.

eBook ISBN: 978-1-66784-170-0

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1: The Phone Call from Hell

Chapter 2: Everybody’s Got a Plan

Chapter 3: The Coincidental Nature of Destiny

Chapter 4: Sometimes You Have to Force Things

Chapter 5: Happy Birthday!!

Chapter 6: The Blind Leading the Blind

Chapter 7: How to Sell Your Soul

Chapter 8: The Slide into Hell

Chapter 9: The Reptile is Born

Chapter 10: Money Can Buy Me Love

Chapter 11: The Angel of Death

Chapter 12: A Match Made in Heaven

Chapter 13: The Last Straw

Chapter 14 Part 1: Delila, The Raven-Haired Sybil Part 2: Lighting the Fire

Chapter 15: Immediate Aftermath

Chapter 16: The Next Day

Chapter 17: I Can’t Breathe

The Insanity

Introduction

This story isn’t about me; it’s about you.

My story’s almost done.

But how will your story end?

Will your Life have had meaning?

Will you have accomplished anything of real value?

I want to tell you about what happened to me so that you don’t let it happen to you.

But what you do after you read this is up to you.

Passion is an almost uncontrollable emotion.

It’s a fire that burns within all of us.

If it is directed toward the right Purpose, it provides you with energy, focus, and the power to overcome all obstacles.

If not, it will incinerate your soul, turning it into ashes.

Without passion, we’re just empty shells; we exist, but we’re barely alive.

Uncontrolled emotion not only causes us to self-destruct but to destroy others as well.

There is only one Purpose that gives your life meaning, keeps you on track, motivates you, and allows you to transcend yourself and go beyond your selfish interests.

Not just a career purpose but contributing to the evolution of Life.

Money can be great; enjoy it, but don’t let it deter you from achieving your true Purpose.

If you don’t want to live a life of regret, you need to find and fulfill your Purpose.

Purpose gives your Life meaning; it gives your life direction.

Life isn’t always smooth sailing; there are many bumps along the way.

Shocks to your Life System can occur at any time, and your Life can change in the blink of an eye.

Purpose is the glue that keeps your Life together no matter what happens.

The crisis I went through shed light on the importance of Purpose in our lives.

Humans will never evolve as long as we are selfish and care only about ourselves.

The wars going on today will generate cycles of revenge, just as they have done since the beginning of civilization.

Understand that protecting our children and theirs begins with defining and achieving our True Purpose, not by escaping to another planet.

Chapter 1:

The Phone Call from Hell

An unexpected shock to the system can force you to see things you thought were deeply buried in the past. Suddenly you come face to face with your beliefs and question who you really are and what your Life’s all been about.

Either your Life System evolves and adapts, or it collapses.

London, February 1992

Life has its way of testing you, sometimes more than once.

Something unexpected happens, whether you’re ready or not.

You never know who you really are until you’ve been tested.

It’s called a shock to the system.

The shock can be from external or internal origin.

A shock of one type or another is going to happen; they always do.

They make Life interesting; but the problem is that they can also be very destructive.

Your Life will change in an instant.

You either adapt and recover or your Life System collapses and falls apart.

How you react will show you who you really are and what lies you’ve been telling yourself.

It all gets exposed.

And sometimes, Life likes to keep you guessing because things may not always turn out as they first appear.

My brother wants talk to you. Something very important. I asked him explain. I don’t want you misunderstand. He speak English better. He call you few minutes. You talk to him please?

Although I understood her, my wife’s English still needed work.

It was about 1 p.m. on a Friday afternoon. I was at my desk in the den, wrapping up my work for the weekend. The only thing I was thinking about was taking the family out for a drive to Richmond Park and then a pizza.

It’s the largest Royal Park in London and the second largest in England at about 2,300 acres.

It’s only thirty minutes or so from central London.

In 1625, to avoid the bubonic plague in London, King Charles moved to that area and put a wall around it.

He also brought in a herd of deer that, until today, are free to roam around the park without fencing.

I was just beginning to relax a bit early for a change.

We had moved to London from Toronto to be closer to my parents just over a year ago, just after Kuwait was liberated.

I had been working a lot more than usual, so I wanted some quality time with the family.

I lifted my head to look at her, and suddenly I felt the room go dark and zoom away from me.

You know how they do something called the Dolly Zoom in the movies?

It was first done in the Alfred Hitchcock movie called Vertigo in 1958.

The focus is on the person, but the background zooms in or out, as the camera is pulled on a dolly.

I always thought that was just a camera gimmick, but it happened to me right then and there.

I felt dizzy, as if I was in a tailspin and falling out of control.

Like an airplane that was climbing and suddenly its engines cut out.

It continues its climb for a few seconds, peaks, and then begins a nosedive.

I don’t know how to explain it, but I felt a deep sense of foreboding and excitement at the same time.

It was emotionally exhausting, and it put me in a sour mood.

What’s going on, Fei?

He’ll call right now.

It had been a while, but I would never forget the last time I spoke to her brother on the phone.

By this time, she and I had been married more than 16 years and had raised 3 kids together; so, I shouldn’t have had anything to worry about.

But you know the saying once bitten, twice shy; I expected to be hit on the head again.

I wasn’t wrong.

What’s going on, Fei? I repeated in a louder, angrier tone. I didn’t like surprises, like the last one he gave me. I’ll tell you about that later.

Please wait; he’ll explain. Calm down, please; it’s nothing bad. But I need him explain. Please, it’s very important.

Fei and I had always communicated in a mix of Japanese and English. For normal conversations, that was ok, but she didn’t know legal and business terms.

I waited for the call, all the while trying to figure out what was going on. I’ve never been known for my patience, so I was about to pick up the phone and call him myself. But I resisted that urge, telling myself that if he wanted to talk to me, then let him pay the long-distance charges.

I was doing my best to calm down; meanwhile, I became aware that my brain had subconsciously hooked onto 2 different emotions simultaneously.

I couldn’t understand why I’d be worried and excited at the same time.

It was hard to think, so I didn’t.

I let the emotions pass through me and just waited to see what would happen.

Finally, the phone rang, and I picked it up without even waiting for it to finish the first ring. I was so nervous that I didn’t even bother to say hello; I just wanted to know what news he had for me this time.

Hi, yeah… what’s going on?

I guess he was a bit taken aback by my abruptness.

Uh…. Hi… so much for the pleasantries. I have something important to tell you; I think it would be a good idea for you to sit down.

What the hell was he talking about?

I didn’t need this kind of crap in my Life.

"I’m not trying to be rude, but it’s been a long time since I’ve heard from you, and now, I hear you have something important to tell me. I haven’t forgotten the last time we spoke. Although I don’t hold it against you personally, you have to admit it wasn’t a pleasant experience.

So maybe it’s better if you just get on with it. Don’t worry about whether or not I’m sitting down. We can do the pleasantries later, assuming, of course, that what you have to tell me is going to be pleasant. Although I have to say that from the way this is all beginning, I’m already wondering about that."

I just wanted him to get to the point so I could figure out what to do from there, how to minimize and repair whatever new damage was coming my way.

"Hey, don’t shoot me; I’m just the messenger. But I do understand where you’re coming from. Anyway, please calm down. I realize the last time you and I spoke that what I had to say wasn’t exactly good news, but I think you’ll respond differently this time.

But before I go on, the first thing I need to tell you is that my sister knew nothing about this.

I’m telling you this because I think that when you hear what I have to say, your first reaction is going to be to ask why she didn’t tell you about this herself."

Well, even if she didn’t know anything about what you are going to tell me beforehand, she knows about it now, so why isn’t she telling me now? Why are you the one telling me?

For a couple of reasons. First, because I know more details than she does, and I assume you’re going to have many questions. But, more importantly, because I can confirm to you that she knew nothing about most of what I’m about to tell you. It’s important that you keep that in mind; otherwise, you’ll probably react negatively.

This was already beginning to sound ominous.

Ok, ok, so let’s just get on with it, shall we?

"As you know, our father died a few years before you guys got married. Neither of you knew that he left a very significant estate. Your wife was aware that the family home and some stocks were there, but she had no real idea of any values. No one did, not until he passed away. He kept it a complete secret.

Our mother had already passed by that time, so only the 4 of us children were left.

Although senior family members were present as witnesses, the only one of the children that attended was Eldest Sister (Fei was number three in line; there was one more sister and her younger brother).

She was the only legal adult out of all of us. So, she was appointed to act as head of the family. My Dad gave her control over the entire estate."

To show respect, in many Chinese households, they sometimes use titles to speak about their family members, for example, Younger Brother, or Middle Sister, that kind of thing.

"Middle Sister became an adult a few years later. Then she got married and had a son, but soon after, she started having marital problems.

So Eldest Sister decided to keep control until she felt that Middle Sister had settled down.

Since I married a second-generation Chinese and my sister married you, a foreigner, Elder Sister decided to continue to control the estate even though we had all become adults and had kids. She wanted to see how our marriages would turn out.

But, since my father’s death, the estate has mushroomed in value, especially over the last 18 months or so.

The stock market has been booming in Asia, especially here in Taiwan. It’s worth a lot now, a hell of a lot. That’s all I can tell you now; I would rather not discuss this by phone. I think you need to come here urgently and see for yourself."

Before we talk about my going there or values, there are still a couple of questions I need to ask.

Go on.

At the time we were married, my wife was already 23-years-old; that means she was an adult. Why didn’t she get control at that time? Wasn’t she legally entitled to it, like Middle Sister? Also, we’ve been married for all this time now with no problems, so why hasn’t she been given control up to now?

Well, as I said, Eldest Sister was acting as head of the family. All of us accepted that and didn’t ask any questions. Family politics and Chinese traditions, I guess.

What changed that all of a sudden?

Family politics again. It began with Middle Sister. A while back, she took a trip to Taiwan and met some relatives who were talking about the family’s estate and how the market had been moving up. She contacted Eldest Sister and told her that she now had her own family (by this time, her marriage had settled down, and they had a second child) and wanted control of her portion. She also said that she felt that both of us should get control since we were all adults and now had our own families. Eldest Sister agreed to give her control, but only on condition that she kept quiet about it. She wasn’t prepared yet to pass control to the two of us. I hate to say this, but you know that she was against your marriage. I don’t know if you were aware of this, but she was against my marriage too.

No, I wasn’t, but hang on a second; how was she able to keep control even though you were all legally entitled?

"Look, you lived in Japan for several years, and you know about the Hanko system. You know, the stamp, the seal. It’s the same thing here in Taiwan.

The Hanko is a stamp or seal, about two inches long and about a quarter to a half an inch in diameter, with the name of the individual hand-carved out on one end.

It’s usually made of wood or some type of stone, such as marble or jade. Each carving is unique because it’s done by hand. When the Hanko is finished, and if the new owner is satisfied with it, he then takes steps to register it as his official stamp, just like you would sign bank account cards when you open a new account. Once it’s registered, that becomes your official signature. When signing any legal document, the Hanko is pressed onto a red ink pad and used instead of the person’s handwritten signature. The practice has been in use for centuries in China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Japan, and other parts of Asia.

But you had to take care not to drop it because if the signature section got chipped, that would change the carving, and it wouldn’t match the registered one. If that happened, you would have to get a new one made, go through all the hassle of deleting the old one, and register the new one. Then you would have to go around to all the places where you used it and change the signature. That was a huge pain in the neck to do, and it took a bit of time to complete.

Each person is responsible for protecting his own Hanko. If you lose it, you have to report it to the authorities as soon as possible.

Personally, I never liked that method because it left things too open to the possibility of fraud.

On the one hand, it’s actually easier to compare the Hanko being used for a transaction to the registered Hanko than it is to compare handwritten signatures.

On the other hand, anyone can use it if they get a hold of it.

There are meant to be other safeguards such as identity documents. But usually, as long as the Hanko is present, not too many questions are asked. The assumption is that the owner would have reported it if it had been stolen.

So, if an elder member of the family were transacting something on behalf of a younger sister, she could do so without too much trouble. In fact, sometimes people give their Hanko to a relative or trusted person to use on their behalf if they can’t be present for a particular transaction. You can even have two or three Hanko, and they can be used for different levels of transactions.

Usually, you would use the main one to conduct large or important transactions, and you wouldn’t typically give that to anyone else to use on your behalf.

When I lived in Japan, I had my own Hanko, even as a foreigner. It didn’t control much of an estate, just a bank account, and my stock investments. Mine was made of wood, which is a lot cheaper than marble or jade. I drilled a hole in the opposite end of the Hanko signature, and passed a leather string through it, so I could keep it hung around my neck. I figured that was the best way to keep an eye on it.

I guessed what happened was when things were registered under their names, a new Hanko was made for each of them. Those were the Hanko that controlled their part of the estate.

He continued, "Eldest Sister was given control of our Hanko. As long as Eldest Sister controlled any of our Hanko, she controlled our estate. So, while on paper, your wife may have been legally entitled, she couldn’t transact anything without the Hanko.

Eldest Sister was acting as a trustee on behalf of our father. Technically, she should have given us control when we became adults. None of us asked any questions, and no one did anything about it. I guess it was out of respect for her. Remember, she was asked to act as head of the family, not just as a trustee."

When I heard that Eldest Sister had held on to my wife’s Hanko for all those years, it sounded like the truth. I knew that she had never approved of our marriage. When we were engaged, she warned my wife that we came from different worlds and that I would leave her one day.

Her family did their best to stop our marriage. In fact, they sent her brother and her sister’s husband to talk to my father.

I was 20 years old at the time, totally in love, and I had made up my mind. Nothing was going to stop me. That’s why even though we were married for all those years, there was never any contact between her family and me.

I guess that’s another reason I was apprehensive when he called. It would have to be something unusual for him to do that.

"Eldest Sister now wants to hand the Hanko over to your wife. But, before she does that, she wants a legal document, signed by your wife and witnessed by a lawyer, relieving her of any responsibility for any actions during the period she had control.

She wants a hand-signed document, with your wife’s fingerprint on the document as well (sometimes, if there is no Hanko for some reason, a fingerprint will work).

Otherwise, she won’t hand it over without going through a lot of hassle.

You could fight it out in the courts, but that would take years, and it would cost a lot.

The matter is even more complicated because she gave the Hanko to her husband to manage things, such as filing and paying off taxes and other administrative costs.

There are signs that things were not correctly handled if you know what I mean.

I guess that’s why she wants the document. It seems to me you can accept the deal or get into a lengthy war.

Me, I decided not to get into that; I just took control of whatever there was. There’s no way you’re going to get access to his books.

Anyway, as I said, the only way you are really going to get a grip on the whole picture is to come over here and listen to other things I need to tell you. Then you have to arrange for your wife to get her Hanko."

Look, there are still a lot of gaps in this story. Lots of missing information. I don’t even know where to begin with all of this. I need a few minutes to digest it all. I have a few questions I need to ask my wife before continuing any further. Are you going to be around in about an hour or so? I need to think things through, including how and when to meet up with you, so we can go into more detail. Only one of us can come over now. The kids are in school, and we can’t leave them here; one of us has to stay. So, we need to discuss that between us.

No problem, I’m here all day. Get back to me when you’re ready.

After I hung up the phone, I turned to Fei.

Well, I’m not quite sure why it was that you wanted me to talk to him, and I’m also not sure what exactly it is that you want me to do about all of this. I get the feeling that a lot is going on in this family that I know nothing about.

That’s why I wanted him to talk to you, to show you that I didn’t know either.

"Look, one day, we’ve got to talk about this because although you may not have known the details, it sounds like you knew about the general picture, but you didn’t say anything at all about it to me. According to what your brother said, it’s recently mushroomed in value; but I’m sure that it was going up steadily over the years too. Otherwise, there wouldn’t have been a base amount that was big enough to mushroom to the size he seems to be hinting at.

I’m sorry, but I can’t help having the feeling that you haven’t been totally open with me. I’ve been married to you for all these years now, and it’s like I never knew who you really were. Suddenly I’m beginning to understand why your family was so against our marriage."

As I spoke, I realized why it was that I had that sense of foreboding.

All kinds of thoughts were going through my head.

Did she know and not trust me? What’s this going to do to our lives, our marriage? How much more is there I don’t know about?

One of the worst feelings in the world is thinking that others around you, especially your partner, know something you don’t. That things are going on behind your back. It makes you feel stupid for not knowing, and it doesn’t do much for trust either.

Have you ever had that feeling?

This was the second time. The first time occurred many years ago, the last time I spoke to her brother.

My mind was drifting into negative territory.

Yet, at the same time, the feeling of excitement didn’t die down. I couldn’t figure out why. I had to force myself to focus on our conversation.

It’s true that I knew that one day there would be something, but I never knew the value. I didn’t think it was that much. You have to believe me. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. At first, I was afraid that you’d leave me one day. Then I didn’t know how to tell you. It got harder, and I just never found the right time.

"I can understand that you may not have known the value, but you should have known that regardless of what that value was, you should have demanded your Hanko and taken control of that portion. At least to protect your kids, our kids.

But it sounds like you chose to let Eldest Sister retain control to avoid dealing with the subject. Even now, you aren’t the one coming forward; this is only happening because she no longer wants to hold on to it.

As I said, we’re going to have to talk about this. Something isn’t right here. I need more information and time to digest all of this, but it seems to me that you may have never trusted me. The fastest way to ruin any marriage is to break the trust between husband and wife.

Like the Chinese proverb you’re always quoting to me, once a glass is shattered, there will always be cracks even if you glue the pieces back together. The question is whether or not it can still hold water without it all eventually leaking out.

Look, I’ve always been upfront and open with you. I’ve always let you know everything. I’m sorry, but I get the feeling that this isn’t going to be easy for us to get over. We’ve built a family together, and this will probably hit us hard. I hope that with time we’ll get over it. We’ll have to deal with that later. Anyway, right now, you have to decide what exactly it is that you want me to do about all of this, if anything. What’s my role in what’s going on now? What is it you want from me?"

Well, now that Eldest Sister has decided to hand over control, I need your help.

My help to do what exactly?

I don’t know. First, we have to get the Hanko out of her and her husband’s hands. I need your help organizing things, finding out what is going on, what to do from here. All of that. You have a master’s degree in finance, you invest in the stock market, and you do business and deal with legal issues; you know about those types of things; I don’t.

Ok, I understand. Let’s leave the personal issues aside for now. We’ll deal with that later. You’re my wife and the mother of my children, and if you are asking my help, I will do my best to help you, regardless.

Yes. Please. Please go and visit my brother, talk to him, find out what is going on. Think about what needs to be done. We can talk about things between us later when you calm down and have heard the full story.

"As I said, I’ll help you out. First, however, you will have to tell your brother to let me know everything, and I mean everything. Like a doctor, I need to know what the problem is before deciding how to solve it. If I don’t know everything, I can’t make a plan for what to do. You have to decide whether or not you want to do that. That’s likely to open more doors and possibly create other issues between us. I’m going to piece it all together, and I may find out other things.

Secondly, I have to talk to him by phone a bit more to understand whether it’s worth it for me to take the time to go and visit him or whether it can all be done by phone. He said it was a lot, but I need to know what he means by that or at least get a better idea."

I think you have to go there. From what he told me; it can’t be done by phone.

"My new business is moving well now; I can’t afford to waste time… But, if I have to go, then I have to go. So, I’ll call him back now, and I’ll let you talk first. I can’t understand Chinese, so when you’re finished, I’ll confirm with him that you’ve told him to let me know everything. Then, once that’s all agreed, he and I will take it from there. If I decide it’s necessary, I’ll go to Taiwan and see him.

Also, once I listen to what he has to say in full, I’ll let you know what I think, and then you can decide whether you still want me to go on or not. If something I need to do in the future takes up my time, we will have to talk about what that means for the business I’m working on and other things too. You’re going to have to think through things very carefully and decide what to do."

No, I know already. Please, I need your help, and it’s important for our kids’ future.

Well, anyway, let me talk to him, and then you can decide. You have to be sure to tell him to let me know everything. I would hate to think that I began all of this and then, later on, find out that there was something I wasn’t told about.

So, I called up her brother and had them speak to each other first. Then I picked up the phone from my study and all three of us were on the line. I asked him to confirm that he understood that my wife had asked him to tell me everything that had to do with her part. Once he confirmed, I then told Fei she could stay on the phone and listen to the conversation if she wished. She said she didn’t need to do that and hung up.

I think we never know who we really are until we’re tested.

The true character of any person only comes out when you’re put under great pressure.

The first time it happened to me was that day I got lost in the woods, which I’ll tell you about a bit later.

I think I passed the first test, but this second one, well, I don’t think I did so well.

Let me tell you what happened, and then you tell me what you think.

What you think I did wrong, what you would have done.

This phone call turned my world upside down.

It’s quite a shock when