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House Arrest
House Arrest
House Arrest
Ebook260 pages1 hour

House Arrest

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

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“Moving . . . Readers will nod their heads in sympathy with this guy who breaks the rules for all of the right reasons.” —The Bulletin of the Center for Children’s Books
 
A Bank Street College of Education Best Book of the Year
Indiana Too Good to Miss State Reading List 2018
 
Timothy is on probation. It’s a strange word—something that happens to other kids, to delinquents, not to kids like him. And yet, he is under house arrest for the next year. He must check in weekly with a probation officer and a therapist, and keep a journal for an entire year. And mostly, he has to stay out of trouble. But when he must take drastic measures to help his struggling family, staying out of trouble proves more difficult than Timothy ever thought it would be. By turns touching and funny, and always original, House Arrest is a middle grade novel in verse about one boy’s path to redemption as he navigates life with a sick brother, a grieving mother, and one tough probation officer.
 
“This gripping novel in verse evokes a wide variety of emotional responses, as it is serious and funny, thrilling and touching, sweet and snarky.” —School Library Journal
 
“Touches of humor lighten the mood, and Holt’s firsthand knowledge of the subject adds depth to this poignant drama without overwhelming it.” —Publishers Weekly
 
“Readers . . . will appreciate Holt’s lessons of compassion and family above all.” —Booklist
 
House Arrest will hit home with young boys and girls, especially if they have ever dealt with an ill relative. The story is touching, warm, and impressive.” —Kid Lit Reviews
LanguageEnglish
Release dateOct 6, 2015
ISBN9781452140841
Author

K.A. Holt

Kari Anne Holt is the author of Gnome-a-geddon, which received a starred review from Booklist, and Red Moon Rising, which Booklist said “will lasso readers and have them hoping for a sequel.” She has also written several middle grade novels in verse including Rhyme Schemer and Brains for Lunch, which received a starred review in Publishers Weekly and was highlighted on the Texas Library Association’s Annotated Lone Star Reading List, and Mike Stellar: Nerves of Steel, a nominee for the Connecticut Library Association Nutmeg Book Award and the Maud Hart Lovelace Award. Kari has recently contributed to the anthology, Dear Teen Me: Authors Write Letters To Their Teen Selves. Learn more about her at KAHolt.com.

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Reviews for House Arrest

Rating: 4.196808638297872 out of 5 stars
4/5

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  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Easy-sell premise, quick read, could work as a book club title for struggling readers -- similar to Locomotion (Woodson) or Ghost (Reynolds). Race does not come up at all in this book about juvenile crime (unless I'm misremembering something small?). No judgment one way or the other about that, but it seems important to mention.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A great nominee for Nebraska's Golden Sower. A quick read, but full of a teenager's thoughts.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I adored this freestyle young adult book. Timothy is on house arrest for a year. A whole year! All because he stole a wallet and used a credit card he found in it. And yes, stealing is bad. But is it so bad when you're stealing to help your baby brother? His brother is only a baby and already has a slew of problems; he has a trach in his neck and TONS of medical problems he needs a lot of help. Their dad walked out on them about a year ago so Timothy thought he was helping their mom out; their strapped for cash and the medical bills keep mounting. But now he's on house arrest and he has to keep a stupid journal to record his "feelings." Yeah he's feeling pretty annoyed. And angry. Angry at his stupid dad that left his mom to deal with his brother's medical problems. Angry that his stupid probation officer is always asking questions. Angry that his best friend complains about his dad who is clearly awesome. Timothy is angry at just about everything and everyone. Everyone except his cute lil' brother, Levi. Timothy would steal all the wallets in the world to keep Levi safe. Heart-wrenching and powerful. I couldn't put this book down.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I seldom give 5-star reviews. To earn it, the book has to be one that I know will resonate in my mind long after I have turned the last page. House Arrest, the first novel-in-verse I have read, is one of those books. It is written as a year-long journal by a 12-year-old boy assigned by a judge for a crime he committed. Treader is taken on an intimate journey through feelings of abandonment, grief, love, and loyalty. It's a quick read and one you just won't want to put down.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Timothy's brother has a birth defect, so he breathes through a tracheotomy. He requires constant supervision and care, but Timothy would do anything for him - even break the law. That's how Timothy wound up on house arrest. He can only go to school, or out under his mother's supervision for the next year.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Written in a poetic format, HOUSE ARREST is a collection of journal entries main character Timothy is required to make during his year-long house arrest sentence after stealing a wallet to help pay for his baby brother Levi's medical bills. Timothy not only has to deal with his brother's fragile medical state. His father left not long after Levi's birth without letting anyone know and has had no contact with the family.Reading this book, I found myself wondering how I would handle Timothy's situation when I was his age. How would I react? Would I be the one to run away like his Dad? Would I be like Timothy and make a rash decision? Would I be like his mom and work myself into the ground and forbid asking for help? The characters K.A. Holt created react in real, real ways. This book is shockingly real. You will love it. I recommend HOUSE ARREST for grades four and up.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Timothy is stressed. His family is under pressure. When baby Levi is born ill and has to breathe through a trach, suddenly money becomes a big issue and his dad just leaves. Timothy wants to help and steals a wallet. He is caught and finds himself with a probation officer, counselor, and an assignment to write in a journal for his year of probation The book tells Timothy's story during that year and the way the he learns to reach out for help and the ways he is helped by the community around him. A quick, novel in verse read that explores issues of family and dealing with really rough times.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    While I enjoyed the style in which it was written, verse didn't seem to fit the notion that we were reading Timothy's court-ordered journal.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Almost universally, when I come across books written in verse, I don't even consider them. Had I known K.A. Holt's wonderful Young Adult novel "House Arrest" was written in verse, I never would have requested it through LT ER. (I'm so glad I was blissfully ignorant!) Upon receiving the book in the mail, I despaired the lack of prose and set it aside. My 13-year-old daughter read it before me, and when I found her blubbering over it, I thought: huh. So, I picked it up and read it in one delighted sitting. I'm still not a fan of books written in verse (my sensory personality objects to the "not enough bang for my buck" aspect of such novels: too few words on each page) but I'm so glad this one found me.Holt's story is not just in verse; it's also epistolary in the sense that it is the journal of the book's protagonist, Timothy. Thirteen-year-old Timothy is under house arrest for a year, having been found guilty of a serious criminal offense. At the outset, we find Timothy antagonistic to his parole officer and his therapist, and is clearly irritated by the requirement that he make daily journal entries that will be read by all above. But what unfolds is WHY Timothy did what he did. And as his entries progress, the reader gets to see a softer side to Timothy, watch his gradual maturation, and witness deepening bonds between Timothy and those in his social circle.This is a lovely, hopeful book. I recommend it to one and all. It doesn't seem to be very well known, but it should be. Go buy a copy or two and pass them around. There are lessons of love, friendship, and redemption for everyone. I passed my copy to my older daughter for consideration to include in a DDF (Drama, Debate & Forensics) piece she is putting together for a national competition this summer. She loved "House Arrest" too, and in fact will be using it in her piece, whose theme is "Breathing". I'm so so glad I read this book. It's a keeper.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This is a delightful, charming, and heart-wrenching read. Presented as 12-year-old Timothy's court-ordered journal, we learn about the desperate circumstances that drove him to steal a stranger's wallet and use the credit card, and over we witness his growth over the 52 weeks of his house arrest. Fiercely protective of his younger brother, who suffers from a birth defect, Timothy is hard-pressed to actually regret the theft, but does find alternate ways to help solve the family's difficulties. Holt does an excellent job of getting inside the head of a 12-year-old boy saddled with responsibilities beyond his years, and has crafted engaging and believable characters.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Timothy has gotten himself in hot water for trying to help his baby brother. The law doesn't look kindly on stealing a wallet and using a credit card from it even if it's used to buy medicine for a sick child. Since he's only 12, Timothy is placed under house arrest and forced to meet with a probation officer and a counselor who forces him to keep a journal.I can't say enough good things about HOUSE ARREST by K. A. Holt. When Timothy's brother, Levi, is born with health issues, his family falls apart. His father leaves and his mother struggles to keep things together. It's not enough, though - she's always tired and they never have enough money. Timothy loves Levi and wants the best for him. He hates it when people talk down to Levi or ignore him. There's not much a 12 year old can do to help so when someone leaves their wallet laying out, the temptation is too much for Timothy and he uses their credit card to pay for his brother's medicine. How can you not love a kid like that?Written entirely in verse, HOUSE ARREST does a great job of exploring issues that are relevant to young people like an absent father, a tired mother, sweet young love, and a family struggling with financial problems. It's not all despair, though - Timothy has a lot of heart and comes up with a solution that just might help his family. This book is full of heart and moved me to tears and made me chuckle. I have a feeling it will be on my list of favorites for the year. HOUSE ARREST is a fabulous Young Adult book but I recommend it to YA readers on up - you don't want to miss this gem!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    HOUSE ARREST, a verse novel for middle-grade readers by K.A. Holt, is perceptive, thoughtful, and compelling. A judge orders Timothy to keep a journal for 52 weeks (representing one year of probation) after Timothy steals a man's wallet and uses the man's credit card. Through this document, readers step into Timothy's life, experiencing events and emotions as Timothy fulfills his probation, cares for his brother Levi, struggles with disappointment about his father's choices, discovers feelings for a girl, and awaits the judge's decision.I really enjoyed this novel. I liked reading a verse novel from a boy's perspective, and also liked that it's pitched at a slightly younger reader than a typical YA verse novel. In particular, I admired the author's decision to let the story arrive at an ending that isn't puddle wonderful, an uncommon choice in books for this age group. Even if there is a sequel, Timothy's life has been irreparably changed. That said, the text offers hope. We learn enough about Timothy's character to imagine how he will work through the new challenges he faces. I recommend HOUSE ARREST highly and will be looking for more from K.A. Holt.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I liked this book a lot more than I thought I would. It is written in the form of a journal. The writing is simple and it would be appropriate for any age reader Grade 6 and above. The main character is 12, but the ideas are mature and would still appeal to a high school student. I think this book would be especially appropriate for a student that "doesn't like to read". It goes by quickly, it is highly engaging, and it is the kind of book that makes everyone feel like a speed reader. This is the type of book I love having on my shelf at school to hand to that kid who doesn't know what to read.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    In the style of a journal, young Timothy has been court-ordered to document his feelings after he stole a wallet to pay for his baby brother's medicine. Despite his good intentions, Timothy lands in trouble, and has to deal with the consequences in addition to caring for his sick brother and coping with his father walking out on the family. The journal-entry, stream-of-consciousness style of writing is part of what makes this book so impossible to put down. The reader only gets to see glimpses of Timothy's life. The things weighing on him most heavily, such as his brother's medical condition, occupy the majority of his thoughts until he is prodded by counselors and other support workers to talk more about his feelings. At times uplifting and at other times heartbreaking, author K.A. Holt has effectively captured the emotional roller-coaster of teen life, and the author's personal experience helps to add detail to the sections on baby Levi's medical condition.Overall, I found this to be an emotionally engaging, fascinating read, and I was sad when the book was over because I wanted to know more about what happens to the characters. This well written novel would be great for teens and adults alike.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Twelve year old Timothy has been put under house arrest and has been court ordered to keep a journal to document his feelings. Yes, he stole a wallet, but he only wanted to pay for his brother's expensive medicine. He knew it was wrong, but his brother is so sick and his family is so poor. His father split; he was not able to deal with the challenge of a sick child. Now Timothy has to survive his year-long punishment by navigating his feelngs, friendships, and learning how to accept help.House Arrest was a fantastic read. Timothy was a "tough" (resilient, determined, and persistent) male character, that many teens (both male and female) could relate to. I really appreciated that it was written in prose; it was beautiffuly written and it makes for a quick read. I will definitely be reccomending this to my middle grade readers!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    K.A. Holt's "House Arrest" is an intriguing book that offers readers insight into a twelve-year-old boy's struggle to support his ailing brother and financially-strained mother. We hear Tim’s story through court-mandated journal entries, after he is caught and arrested for stealing a credit card to buy medication for his young brother. This book lets readers ponder the moral question “Is it acceptable to steal a loaf of bread if your family is starving?” by framing the question in a modern context and setting. Young readers will develop strong opinions about whether what Tim did is morally acceptable (you’d be surprised at some of the responses you get to this question when you pose it to Grade 6s!) and this book’s theme and message is an excellent way to get students involved in reading through small and large group discussions. Altering the basic structure of a novel is always an effective approach for authors to employ in order to make their books more appealing to a wider-variety of readers, and Holt’s journal entry structure is no less effective. Readers can hear directly from Tim as he writes about the confusion, anger, and sorrow that he and his family faces as they try to cope with financial hardships and health-related emergencies. One aspect of the book’s structure did confuse me somewhat, and that has to do with the “free verse” poetic structure of the novel. For anyone unfamiliar with free verse, it is a form of poetry that follows the structure of natural speech. There is no rhyme scheme and no metre; the only real distinguishing quality of free verse is that the author divides his or her lines into poetic lines, which are (typically) longer sentences broken up into shorter lines, distinguished by the capitalization of the first letter of each line:This is an exampleOf a poetic line.Holt does organize “House Arrest” so that it adheres to the conventions of free verse poetry, primarily as a result of the poetic line structure format, but I find this style of writing to be unsuitable, given the context of the book. The first lines of the text read:Boys don’t write in journals,unless it’s court-ordered.At least, that’s what I’ve figured out (2). Right away, we are informed that the “writer” is a reluctant writer; he believes that boys do not write journal entries, and the only reason he is writing in a journal is because he has been ordered to by the court. The single-most important feature of the book is that we are to believe that what we are reading is the writings of the protagonist’s innermost thoughts and feelings. Yet as I read the book, I kept getting taken out of the plot and story because of how Holt structured the novel; there is no way that a reluctant twelve-year-old writer would be writing in free verse! The opening lines signal to us that Tim does not want to write, that he does not like to write, and that he really has no background in writing, yet the book is structured so that we are to believe he’s writing free verse poetry. I just can’t buy it.I know that it sounds like I am nitpicking, but the entire premise of the book, the aspect of the novel that is meant to appeal to a wider audience of readers, is that it is structured to reflect the journal entries of a twelve-year-old boy. We, as the readers, are meant to connect with Tim by experiencing the events and hardships that he is writing about through his eyes; we are meant to feel what he feels and believe what he is telling us. But all the while I was reading “House Arrest”, I kept getting pulled out of the text because I could not believe that what Tim was saying, and how he was writing, was actually coming from him. As a result, I found myself disconnected and disengaged with what “he” was describing to the reader. Do I think young readers will feel the same way? Absolutely not. The intended audience of this book will become immersed and engaged with what is being related to them, and they will (most likely) connect with Tim and develop strong opinions and feelings about the events and situations that he experiences throughout the novel. My criticism of the book’s structure is meant only to point out that novels which use different formats need to ensure that the format(s) used are used appropriately and successfully. Journal entries certainly do not need to be in free verse (most of them are not) and I think it would have been more effective if Holt had followed the standard structure of journal entries and refrained from employing a writing style that few twelve-year-old boys would actually use.With all that said, I really liked this book! I know students and young readers will find a lot to connect with and I think, given the first-person narration “from a twelve year old boy” will appeal to more reluctant readers and get them thinking about morality and ethics and enable them to place themselves in the character’s position and asks themselves “What would I do in that situation?” Overall, “House Arrest” is a really enjoyable book which I would most definitely recommend.4/5
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Very emotional, relevant and touching book. The use of a first-person poetic narrative brings the reader into the story in a way that does not allow for a safe distance. We feel everything Timothy is feeling. We feel his frustration, his fear, his anger, his guilt. We feel the bloom of his burgeoning crush on his friend's sister. "House Arrest" is a prime example of how, as Neil Gaiman has said, books are little empathy machines.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This is great free-verse prose for middle school and reluctant high school students. I currently have quite a few students on probation that could relate to the first-person narrator voice of this book. I do think the voice sounds older than the actual age of the character, but Timothy has had to grow up quickly due to taking on the whole of his dad, when his dad unexpectedly leaves the family and his baby brother requires a lot of care and has many medical needs. Overall, a great book to pass onto my students.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    So...this was a new type of reading experience for me, because I've never read a book that was written in diary entries. I know there are plenty of books out there like this, but this is the first one I've tried...and to be quite frank, I don't think I'll be eager to try this format again anytime soon. I LIKED...The setup. The idea of a twelve year old kid attempting to steal a wallet to buy medication for his little brother is...an interesting idea, and...his consequences and outcomes were at times, amusing to read about...but otherwise, I can't think of anything else that really stood out for me...I DISLIKED...The language of the book didn't really sit well with me, it wasn't that it was hard to understand, it was just...unusual. Yes, I know, the diary entries are from a twelve year old boy, so I shouldn't be complaining about the very informal like language, but now I know not to choose books narrated by twelve year old boys.The surprisingly un-relatable characters. I say surprising because I've been in a similar situation, not the medication or the stealing part, but the part about the missing dad. Suffice to say, the characters weren't as developed as I'd have liked them to be by the end of the story.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Wow. I loved House Arrest. It was so powerful and heartbreaking at the same time. I laughed, I cried, I couldn’t put it down until I finished it. Timothy’s character was amazing; ALL the characters were amazing. I loved how it was written in the form of a court mandated journal; I loved reading everything through Timothy. I can’t say it enough: I love this book so much. I wish it would’ve been longer just so I didn’t have to leave the characters. I wasn’t ready for the book to end.--Received a free copy in exchange for an honest review.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Twelve year-old Timothy has been placed under house arrest for stealing a credit card and making almost $1500 in charges on it. The items bought aren't what you would expect a kid in poverty, without quite enough food and shoes that don't fit, to buy. Timothy has purchased medication for his infant brother who needs constant care. As part of his rehabilitation, Timothy writes a journal (in verse) that is this book detailing the struggles of a boy, his single mother, and a part-time nurse in caring for a medically needy child. How much help is enough and how much is too much?
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This is a novel-in-verse about desperation and hope.Timothy is on a year’s probation for stealing. He stole to pay for medicine for his very small and sick brother. His dad couldn’t handle the pressure and walked out. His mom has two jobs and still can’t pay all the medical bills. They have a part-time nurse who is fabulous. Now, Timothy is on house arrest. In many ways he doesn’t mind because he loves his brother and gladly takes care of him. Levi, his brother, has a trach, meaning he can only breathe out of his neck. He can easily get an infection and is always close to death.Timothy is not sorry he stole the money because it bought medicine for Levi. His probation officer starts out as pretty tough on Timothy. His therapist is nicer. As the journal progresses, the reader meets people who want to help Timothy and his family. We also meet people who just think Levi is gross and needs to be hidden away in a facility, which makes Timothy angry. This novel of saving a brother’s life will bring a tear to your eye and glad feelings to your heart. Once you begin the novel, you’ll have a hard time putting it down.

Book preview

House Arrest - K.A. Holt

Winter

WEEK 1

Boys don’t write in journals,

unless it’s court-ordered.

At least, this is what I’ve figured.

I

I have

I have nothing

to say.

I am not allowed to have nothing to say.

Except on Tuesdays

when I go see Mrs. Bainbridge

who calls me Tim instead of Timothy.

I sit on her squishy couch

my mouth sealed shut

my eyes burning holes

in the leaves of all her plants.

She says I can call her Maureen.

But who would want to be called Maureen?

Adjudicated delinquent.

I had to look up how to spell that.

Three times.

I don’t feel like a delinquent

and I don’t know what adjudicated means

(even after looking it up).

Sounds like a kung fu move.

I adjudicated you in your face!

HI-YA

A whole year of this journal?

Maybe I will write about the other people I see.

Like José . . . just being José.

I will pretend his life is mine,

like I can still go hang out in our street

whenever I want.

Magnolia Circle. Where I’ve always lived.

With the manhole cover

that makes a perfect third base.

WEEK 2

How do you let yourself

become a probation officer?

Is there a school for that?

A diploma?

Congrats, James, you have graduated

and are now

a complete

tool.

James recommends

not writing any more things

like that last thing.

Otherwise

the judge will get mad.

Who knew my probation officer

could read my journal?

I would like it on record that that isn’t fair.

Do you hear me, James?

Do you hear me, Mrs. Bainbridge?

Do you hear me, Judge?

A personal journal is very crowded

with so many eyes.

James on Monday.

Mrs. Bainbridge on Tuesday.

School every day.

Home every day.

Nowhere else unless Mom is with me.

That’s the schedule, Journal.

Got it?

It’s pretty simple.

Like a court-ordered cage,

with a Mom-shaped lock.

You better take this journal seriously,

James told me Monday.

Or they’ll throw you in juvie

so fast

your head will spin.

As if my head isn’t already spinning.

On that day, weeks ago, I’d lost my head.

Everything foggy and frosty,

everything a dwarf name

from a fairy tale

that doesn’t exist.

I remember I was so tired.

So

so

so

tired.

Levi had been sick the night before.

One of those nights with no nurse at home to help.

Mom had her hands full.

And I did, too.

Levi was bad sick.

So I helped.

Running for towels,

for meds,

for the heavy oxygen tanks,

for the suction machine,

for the spare trach tubes,

for the ties to keep the tube in his neck

so he could breathe

which he wasn’t doing very well

that night

before the morning

when my head was full of fairy-tale dwarves

named Foggy and Frosty and Sleepy and Crazy.

I will never know what I was thinking when I stole that wallet,

because I wasn’t thinking.

I wish everyone would stop asking.

There is no what

when there is no thinking.

There is just is-ing.

Things happen.

Things happened.

Just like that.

Snap.

It is what it is.

It was what it was.

So stop asking.

I was trying to help,

that’s all.

But it was the opposite of help,

and I know that now.

I’m not sorry, though.

If you’re wondering.

I’m just sorry I got caught.

Because it would have helped.

It would have.

WEEK 3

James says I should take that last part out.

You better be sorry, he says

when he throws this journal into my chest

looking mad and disappointed.

A look they must give tests on

at Probation Officer University.

This is not a joke, Timothy.

They’ll throw you in juvie so fast

your head will spin.

I mouth the words when he says them.

He doesn’t like that.

But he needs new words.

He won’t like it that I wrote that, either.

Oh, well.

Hey, James?

Suck it.

When Levi was born my dad was still here.

Nine months ago.

Feels like nine years.

Dad’s heart was beating in the same room as mine.

His lungs filled with the same air as mine.

His stomach filled with the same pizza as mine.

We had pepperoni that night

when Levi was born.

We high-fived our root beers.

Dad told the waitress,

I have two boys now. How about that?

And she gave us ice cream

for free.

And it was the best night.

Until it wasn’t anymore.

Then the phone rang in the pitch-dark night

and José’s mom answered because I was at their house.

Dad was at the hospital with Mom and Levi.

José’s mom came to wake me up

but I was already awake.

And she drove me to the hospital

and she told me Levi was sick

and the doctors didn’t know what it was

and it was bad

real bad

and they wanted me there

in case he died

so I could say good-bye

and none of it made sense

because Levi was a brand-new baby

and nothing happens to brand-new babies

because they are new and haven’t hurt anyone yet.

And Dad still had pizza in his stomach

and so did I

from earlier that night

when everything was OK.

P.S. Levi did not die.

Not any time they told us he would.

And there were a lot of times.

James.

Mrs. B.

I know you’re reading, so listen up.

I’m thinking you guys don’t know anything

about anything.

No offense.

But if you’re going to understand what I’m

talking about

in this dumb journal

I’m going to need to explain some things

to your dumb faces.

No offense.

There are just so many things you have to understand

before you can really understand.

Understand?

So I can tell you about that day

that stealing day

but you’re never going to know

what was going on in my head

because I don’t know what was going on in my head

all I do know is what was going on in my life.

Lesson One: trach.

You say it like trake

in case you didn’t know.

It’s a plastic tube

in Levi’s neck.

Well, in a hole in Levi’s neck,

a hole the doctor put there

so Levi can breathe.

The tube protects the hole

but it lets in a lot of germs

like a superhighway to his lungs,

so that’s no good.

But breathing is good.

Kind of a lame trade-off, if you ask me.

I guess the trach is like a plastic nostril

in Levi’s neck.

It has all the gross stuff that nostrils have:

slippery boogers

and slime

and gunk

and when he sneezes, these snot bullets shoot out.

So, yeah. It’s a plastic nostril in your neck.

But it doesn’t look like a nostril. Just a tube.

It saved Levi’s life

and changed everyone else’s.

Sometimes I wonder what it’s like

to breathe through your neck

instead of your face.

How does food taste

if you can’t smell it?

Do your sinuses still hurt

when you’re sick?

Does it tickle when you cough

out of the tube?

Does it feel weird when you swallow?

It must.

Because Levi chokes a lot.

When he chokes we use the suction machine

and it is so loud

like a jackhammer drinking a Slurpee.

It sucks all of the gunk out of the tube in his neck

so Levi can breathe easy again.

He always looks so relieved.

I wonder how that feels?

José came over today.

He called me a felon

and laughed his head off.

He wanted me to come with him.

Cam’s paintball party.

My answer:

What part of house arrest don’t you understand,

dummy?

I told him I was getting a tracking device on my ankle

and if I leave the house

it will blow my whole leg off.

Even messier than paintball.

He believed me

so I laughed my head off.

WEEK 4

James says I need to talk more about that day.

Your journal, he says,

in that eye-rolly way they must teach at

Probation Officer University,

is to prove you are reflecting on what you did,

to prove house arrest is working,

to prove you don’t need juvie to set you straight.

It is court-ordered, Timothy.

You know what that means, right?

And that’s when I shout,

I’m doing it, right?

I’m writing in it, OK?

He nods and looks kind of bored.

And I wonder, again, how this ever happened.

There are a lot of things I know

that I shouldn’t know

about why things are the way they are.

About Dad driving away and never coming back.

About his job he never went back to.

About Mom working nights for extra money.

About food coming from the church on the corner.

About Levi’s medicine costing as much

as a pet space shuttle.

I know.

But I don’t say I know.

But Mom knows I know.

Because she knows everything.

Except whether or not Dad is ever coming back.

No one knows that.

Well, maybe Dad does.

A year is a long time

to write in a

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