Rhyme Schemer
By K.A. Holt
4.5/5
()
About this ebook
Includes bonus material!
- Book Club Discussion Guide
- Reading and Writing Connections
K.A. Holt
Kari Anne Holt is the author of Gnome-a-geddon, which received a starred review from Booklist, and Red Moon Rising, which Booklist said “will lasso readers and have them hoping for a sequel.” She has also written several middle grade novels in verse including Rhyme Schemer and Brains for Lunch, which received a starred review in Publishers Weekly and was highlighted on the Texas Library Association’s Annotated Lone Star Reading List, and Mike Stellar: Nerves of Steel, a nominee for the Connecticut Library Association Nutmeg Book Award and the Maud Hart Lovelace Award. Kari has recently contributed to the anthology, Dear Teen Me: Authors Write Letters To Their Teen Selves. Learn more about her at KAHolt.com.
Read more from K.A. Holt
Knockout Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5House Arrest Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Redwood and Ponytail Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5BenBee and the Teacher Griefer: The Kids Under the Stairs Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Ben Y and the Ghost in the Machine: The Kids Under the Stairs Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGnome-a-geddon Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRed Moon Rising Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
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Reviews for Rhyme Schemer
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Book preview
Rhyme Schemer - K.A. Holt
Author 176
DAY 1
First day of school.
My favorite.
Easy prey.
Giant John.
A parade float of himself.
Freckle-Face Kelly,
like a painting
by that one guy
who drank too much beer
and went crazy.
Robin is so short.
I am a dinosaur
stepping on his lunch.
Plus,
his name is Robin.
So many
weenies.
So little
time.
King of the seventh grade
can’t choose his own throne.
Assigned seats.
Not everyone’s favorite.
Not my favorite.
But you know what?
My seat is next to
Freckle-Face Kelly.
Connect the dots,
all
day
long.
Day 2
My brother Petey is in a band
so he always plays air guitar
while he lurches us over curbs
and through red lights
when he drives me to school.
His band is called
The Band with No Name
because it has no name.
Duh.
He and his bandmates can only think of
lame ideas for names.
Like the Flaming Turtles
or Midnight Pukefest
or Mustache Farm.
My ideas are great
but he never listens to me
only to music
with too many guitars.
I could learn the guitar.
Mrs. Smithson.
My teacher.
She has this mole.
I’ve named it Harry.
Not because it IS hairy
but because it’s not.
That’s called
irony.
I think.
Harry gives a shake
when Mrs. Smithson
sneezes
turns her head
walks too fast
laughs
hollers.
If Harry changes color
I would suggest
Mrs. Smithson seeks
a doctor
more makeup
a bag over her head
a Band-Aid
a black pointy hat.
DAY 3
Sometimes I wonder
about the coffee cups.
Every teacher has one,
even the PE teacher
who has so much energy
he seems to float just above the gym mats.
What’s in those cups?
Witches’ brew?
Ugly potion?
Bad hair broth?
It smells like coffee,
but judging from their breath
I’m sure it’s way worse than just that.
I found the page in an old book.
No one will miss it.
No one reads those old books anyway.
The words just jumped out at me
like tickly little fleas
needing a good scratching.
So I scratched them.
And no one will know it was me.
I stuck it on the wall by the lockers
when no one was looking.
I couldn’t help it.
I thought people would laugh.
People did laugh.
A lot.
Until Mrs. Smithson yanked it down.
She was not laughing.
DAY 4
If I was
short
wide
freckle-faced
I would beg for home school
or a ticket
on a boat
to Siberia.
Watch out, Sideshow Robin.
I’d take the long way to recess
if I were you.
I only suggest this
as a friend
because Giant John looks
grumpy
tired
hungry.
He might mistake you
for lunch.
Wait.
Can you take a boat
to Siberia?
DAY 5
The tires squeal
like Petey’s car is making the road
screeeeeeam
in pain.
Get out.
I pull my backpack onto my shoulder
put my hand out
a fist bump
to say good-bye.
He just leaves it hanging.
A lonely bumpless midair fist.
I said, get out.
So I do.
The road screams again.
Petey and his air guitar are gone.
My fist hangs at my side now.
Heavy as a stone.
If I am stone
my