What's A Year To Me?

By Jason Kendrick

"You never know the mind of someone who paints it beautifully." 

Nas, in his last year of high school, has to move to 
a new town far away from everything and everyone 
he has come to love. 

Frustrated by the forced relocation 
he has to endure and now having to 
fit in at a new school, he comes to meet a girl 
named Ruby who doesn’t share the 
problems of a typical high school student. 

What mysteries does she contain? 

Why is she so free and yet doesn't 
decide to leave the small town? 

More importantly, who is she? 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jason Kendrick
• Release date: Jun 15, 2015
• ISBN: 9780646937694

Book preview

1.

The Times Had

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February, my last year.

I woke up to the alarm on my phone. I had set it to one of my favourite songs, which I thought I’d never get over, but as anyone who’s done the same would know is and always will be a bad idea to begin with. The time read 8:10am, as this was the second time I’d hit the snooze button due to my general lack of motivation.

I had to make my way through the morning. I stared at my hair through the bathroom mirror and combed, unsatisfied with the result every time. I had facial hair that sprouted pathetically in tiny white hairs under my chin even though I had made my way through most of puberty at seventeen; I shaved them off with one stroke of my razor. I pulled my school shirt over my body, my jeans onto my legs, and slung my backpack over my shoulders.

I’m leaving! I announced to Mum in my half-broken tired voice I wasn’t sure was there. I sighed as I closed the door, making my way toward the most depressing place in all of time and space—the bus stop.

There was nothing redeemable about it. When I arrived, the same people sat against the trees with some kind of gloom about them, in absolute silence. I stood against a wooden fence behind them, waiting for the drowsiness to wear off until finally the giant white bus roared around the corner toward us. It was as if the bus would break the curse of our inability to speak.

I was the last one to embark on the bus because I didn’t want to put up with the usual push-shove. It still didn’t really make sense to me as to why it was some kind of race. The students on the bus were filled with chatter.

Dude, so good man, so good. I heard.

I don’t think the world is even what we think it is, Said another.

NAS! My best friend, Lillian stood up from our usual four-seater, filled with her friends, in order to shout my name. She grabbed my attention, as well as that of most people on the vehicle.

I approached the seat next to her and ignored the stares. Her eyes lit up and she smiled widely.

How are ya, scallywag!? She hit me on the shoulder. She’d always hit me on the shoulder.

Scallywag? That’s new, I responded.

IT’S PRETTY COOL, HUH? Anyone who questioned her would receive a loud, impulsive comment. I smiled regardless.

Sure, why not? Just add it to the list labelled Lillian’s Sarcastic and Narcissistic Statements or Questions. I could write a book on the subject, I said, Lillian and I had known each other since my first day at this school two years ago, although her introduction to the friendship process was more her pointing at me and saying I was her new best friend.

Ha ha, you’re the funniest man alive. So fuckin’ funny. Oh my God, stop being so funny, She said.

I’ll take it, I said in a somewhat sarcastic manner. She hit me on the shoulder again, but this time playfully and with a smile.

You’re coming this afternoon, right? None of this backing-out-to-be-with-your-internet-friends-instead-of-your-real-friends bullshit,

As always, I said with my head rested on my hand on the side of the window.

AWW YES! Lillian shouted. She turned to her friends in the opposite four-seater and continued spouting nonsense. I looked at the back of her head, the shimmering light coming through the window reflecting off her long brown hair, and her translucent pale skin on the back of her neck just under it. I hadn’t fallen for her; I was content on keeping her my best friend. If there was one thing in high school I couldn’t fuck up, it was the one friend I had, literally.

What are you looking at? Lillian said, right into my face, and I snapped out of my thoughts.

Uh, nothing, I said. She looked at me with a smile that had her mouth open slightly; her bangs ran softly over one eye.

It’s alright, Nas. I know it’s hard that you can’t have me and all. She stated with a chuckle under her breath.

Umm ... what? I asked. She took her face away from mine and laughed.

I’m just kidding, dude. Chill out, she said with another hit to the shoulder.

Yeah ... totally.

We exited the bus in front of a huge crowd of people from other buses and walked into an oval, the school in the distance before us. Lillian greeted people almost every two steps we took, high-fiving some and hugging others. Almost every day, she would—and I mean this in the most literal sense—launch herself into a new group and walk to class with them, which would leave me by myself until she’d greet me again when the bells rang.

LILLIAN! a voice yelled from a distance.

JOSHUA! Lillian replied louder. They ran towards each other and chest bumped.

OW, MY BOOB! I heard in the distance as I walked toward the school.

WAZ CRACKIN’, FOOL? Lillian yelled to me as I sat in form class, almost half asleep.

"Well, I was great," I said. She glared at me for a second with her hands on her hips.

What’s up your arse today? she asked.

Everything alright? she said with sincerity in her voice, as she sat down next to me, I was surprised, so much so my eyes opened more.

I ... yeah, I’m alright. All good. What about you? I asked. She sighed slightly.

I guess ... I mean ...

What’s up, Nat? Chris interrupted Lillian.

It’s Nas. I corrected; I wasn’t really in the mood for him. He scoffed,

Whatever, and sat with his friends.

You were saying? I asked Lillian. She looked concerned for a moment.

Nothing, dude, just messing. Hey, you’re still up for this afternoon, right? she asked again. Why did she ask again? She didn’t seem as confident as she usually was, as if she was forcing her smile.

Yeah, of course! I said with glee in my voice to try and jump-start her mood. She smiled, which was enough for me.

Okay. she said.

2.

Ordinary

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When the bell finally rang at 3:00pm, the daily flood of students filled the sidewalks outside the school once again. I continued down my day-to-day path, thinking of an assessment that I’d received that day due the week after. In what way was that fair?

I sat in the same spot on the bus that afternoon as I had in the morning. You could say that it all felt the same most days.

Helloooo Skittle-butt! Lillian shouted as she skipped down the walkway of the bus and threw herself over two seats, one of which I was sitting on. She landed on ... me. Her head was looking up at me from my crotch. I could feel the sudden aching in my stomach. I was frozen with pain.

What? she said after a silence while I squeezed my eyes closed in shock.

Oh. Her eyes opened wider as she realized she’d landed on my guy parts, shooting up to the opposite seat.

I’m so sorry, she exclaimed, but I kept my eyes close. There was an unbearable amount of pain that came, and the only way I could react to it, instead of to yelling loudly, was to keep my goddamn eyes closed and hold it in.

I didn’t mean to do that ... she said again, but all the apologising didn’t help.

Then I felt her warmth around me, and then her arms, and then the kiss on my cheek, and I don’t remember anything after that. The pain left me.

Finally, I opened my eyes, and I could see her friends staring. There she was, looking into my eyes so innocently.

Are you okay? she asked.

Yeah ... fine ... I think the pain depleted when I stared into her eyes, but I couldn’t remember. It felt as if something was bouncing around in my stomach and my heart was a jackhammer.

Totally fine.

The bus roared away, making a noise that even Lillian couldn’t top. We arrived at the shopping centre, our usual hang-out area. Sometimes Lillian would bring her other friends, but today was just the two of us, which hadn’t happened in a while.

You’re handling everything today. Get your pants ready, She said with an uplifting tone as we walked across the street.

What? I responded.

She laughed.

Chill out. Of course I’m helping; I hit you in the nuts! It’s just these boobs can’t hold them all. She struck a pose that, oh God, was so satisfying to the eyes, but I resisted by reciting my oath to not think of her that way.

It wasn’t working. She continued laughing and grabbed my hand.

Come on! And for some reason, we started running.

This one ... this one ... this ... one ... Lillian muttered to herself as she picked assortments of candy off the shelves of the store. I held them all in my hands as she continued.

You remember it’s only the two of us, right? I asked. My arms crossed to carry what she gave me.

I know. It’s a special occasion. My heart shot up to my throat thinking of what that meant.

I mean, it’s not every day we get to hang out here just the two us, she continued, which put my heart back in its regular spot.

So are we done then? I asked.

Right, let’s go, she said almost immediately after, which left me to believe it wasn’t a response to my question. I sighed.

Are you good to go? she asked turning around, I nodded nervously.

What came next was leaving the store, and by leaving the store I meant payment, and by payment I meant not paying for the goods and shoving them in intricate areas of my pants where no security would ask to check. We continued to the aisles which we knew had no cameras, and I began tucking the candy into the strap of my pants. As I couldn’t fit anymore in there without walking like a weirdo, Lillian took the rest of the packets and pushed them into the middle of her bra. She couldn’t see me looking but I absolutely watched. She smiled as she looked back up and then opened her mouth, her eye brows raised.

You were looking!

No. I walked away from her.

You were! She followed.

I don’t know what you’re talking about, I said, turning the corner.

Aww, it’s okay, I love you too!

We sat on the opposite side of the store outside, where the employees had their breaks. It was clear from the cigarette butts lining the gutter. We leaned against the giant white wall and put the pile of candy between us.

Is this weird? Lillian finally asked, cutting the silence.

What? I asked.

You and me, hanging out like this? I was confused by the question. We’d been friends for almost two years now. Something was strange about the way she was acting.

Why would it be weird? I responded. She sighed.

I don’t know. Josh thinks it’s weird, she said.

I don’t think so. I said and the silence dawned on us again. The relationship between Lillian and Josh was vague to me, mainly because I didn’t know him all that well.

Sooo ... you and Jo—

I don’t wanna talk about it, she interrupted.

Right... Another awkward silence.

It’s like... She attempted to say something but let the words trail off.

It’s a mutual understanding between us ... I guess ... I just don’t know. Ava always said we should get together, but I never really ... felt that way, she muttered. Her pauses led me to believe she was nervous about the topic.

Why can’t you think of him that way? I asked.

Well ... I don’t really know ... my parents wouldn’t really be okay with it and I think ...

What? I asked. She took a long inhale.

... I think they’d scare him off. she said in a clear voice, her face to the ground. She played with her hands, but not really. It was more of a digging with her nails into the back of her hand than anything else. It was the first time she’d talked about her issues so openly, but why now?

But, why would they scare him off? I asked. She darted her eyes toward me, with tears that glistened but never fell. I was scared; I didn’t see what was wrong.

You have no idea, Nas, she stated with a cracked voice. I came closer to her as she tried to recompose herself.

Lillian ... I—

Don’t worry about it ... she interrupted.

It’s fine; I’m just having a tough time right now. Her explanation was vague, but I nodded regardless.

We packed up the remaining packets of candy and I walked her home. Her house was only a few blocks away from mine. There wasn’t much said after that, only the words of the conversation we’d just had ringing in my head.

I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? she said with folded arms. It took me a moment to realise I wasn’t paying attention for almost the entire walk.

Y ... yeah, of course, I replied. She hugged me, which wasn’t a common occurrence, and walked off. As I walked home, I tried to untangle why she was so upset and had no answer for it, and no explanation. She had always