It's My Life!

By Louie Carreira

This is a book about a boy who had no chance of making it in this life. He kicked that idea in the teeth and proved that you can have a bad start but with bucket loads of self-belief you can make it.

Louie has owned an adult chatline, played poker for a million bucks live on TV and got married in Las vegas, singing a few lines of Elvis Presley’s song Love Me Tender in front of 40 000 people in the Sam Boyd rugby stadium.

He is in general not a fan of the human race, which tends to disappoint but lives for his cats Pooty Tang... Whicksy... Friendzy...Trompie... Blikkies... Dawie and Rooies.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Louie Carreira
• Release date: Jan 23, 2022
• ISBN: 9780620983051

Book preview

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IT’S MY Life!

Autobiography by Louie Carreira

© Louie Carreira 2022

It’s My Life

Published by Louie Carreira

Knysna, South Africa

[e-mail]

ISBN 978-0-620-98304-4

eISBN 978-0-620-98305-1

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the written permission of the copyright owner.

Layout and cover design by Boutique Books

Contents

Acknowledgements

Foreword

Dedication

What’s up

Good cop---better criminal

Sad time

Nightmare at saint pappa’s place

Margate---phone sex ---and a pub

Fiance’s, wifes and wifes

Brothers and sister

Friends will be friends

Pooty and the gang

Black and white---payback is a bitch

Acknowledgements

To all the people that I crossed paths with but especially thanks to those that had a positive effect on me and helped to mould me into who I am today.

Thanks for the caps, comma’s and full stops bella, and thanks for the proof reading

Foreword

About the Author:

Louie Carreira was a successful multi-business owner, semi-retired at the age of 46. A creative entrepreneur and writer in the making with a difference. He lives in the balmy coastal suburb of Shelley Beach, a secluded South Coast town best known for its natural beauty, it’s natural treasures include sprawling beaches that are lapped by the warm water of the Indian Ocean, tranquil lagoons, and rocky coves straight from the heart of sunny South Africa, with his gorgeous wife and life partner Nicolene, their 7 cats, who feature as the fabulous ‘Trompie en die boksom bende’ along with biscuit the dog.

Louie has earned a great reputation within both the golfing and cricket industries, where he gave freely his time and energy to assist young and upcoming players for the South Coast. He has featured in a worldwide broadcast for a live poker tournament with some of South Africa’s great and diverse celebrities(1st prize a cool million bucks) Another adventure has Louie being interviewed by Derek Watts from M-Net for a nationwide broadcast during prime time viewing about his adult chatline.

More recently he made his way to the glitzy Las Vegas which serves as the leading financial, commercial, and cultural centre for Nevada, not to mention the indulgent gambling, because everyone knows what happens in Vegas – Stays in Vegas! Louie performed an Elvis Hit song: ‘Love me tender’, whilst getting hitched, in front of 40 000 people at the Sam Boyd Rugby Stadium, which also broadcasted worldwide, during a Live Rugby Sevens match. The wedding lasted a full 90 seconds.

Having come from a rather difficult childhood, his adventures not only bring joy, but inspires his audience that anything is possible after all - He welcomes inquiries from around the world and aspires to bring laughter and insight to the movers and shakers of the world.

Dedication

Dedication:

I dedicate this book to my loving and loyal mother Anne marie, who was tragically taken from us way too soon.

I also dedicate this book to my cat---pooty tang, no woman has lasted longer than 7 years with me, pooty has been with me for over 17 years and counting. He is not just a cat, he is the best friend I have had on earth.

WHAT’S UP

Doomsday....Finally….we’re going to die

Coronavirus … a few short months ago no one knew the word, now this word strikes fear into every human worldwide. Businesses have closed, at this stage over 30 million have contracted the virus, over a million have died , and the world we once knew is no longer. Yes, Corona Virus has destroyed the world, nobody saw that coming! It took its bloody time though, I came I saw I did not like…time to leave, next planet please, and please make this one worth it, earth was crap. If you had to ask me before I was born if I would like to stop over and check earth out for about 70 years and then, but only if we were good enough, then we would move on and live happily ever after, well hell no thank you! From the moment that you are born it is one hell of a struggle to get through life. First they start counting fingers and toes, check what is working and what is not, check, check, ok out of there, now the fun starts.

We shit, eat, crawl for a few years then off to school, let’s get educated because life is about to get really tough, this is still hoping you have not starved, been killed by a car, murdered or raped yet, guaranteed you would have been mugged or robbed a few times.

GOOD COP---BETTER CRIMINAL

My story begins on a blustering hot summers day, Monday the 24th January 1969……I was the last boy born to a family of six brothers and a half sister.

Ohh sorry I am Marcus Crawford, lets change some names just in case some people that did some bad shit with me years ago don’t get locked up. Like my brother Jack, damn was he pissed at me. He stole a car, or as we prefer to say, he found a car. We went for some crazy driving (he drove like a Sarel Van Der Merwe) my police buddy, (Merv) and I --- ohh yes, I was a cop----good cop, but a much better criminal. Ok ok not on this occasion, my buddy and I got thirsty, did not have money so convinced my brother to take us to a bottle store. We grabbed 3 bottles of brandy and just ran out. We sped off and that was it, no it was not it. Like an ass later that night after my two brothers went to bed, Merv and I decided to go for a spin in the new car . We were seriously drunk, and like an idiot I went riding around the area that we robbed the store from. Cops were on us, I was not gonna stop, remember we were cops, driving a stolen car. We robbed a store, little rob, only 3 bottles, but a rob is a rob. Chase is on, stupid cop van blocks the road, I swerved to miss him but clipped the cop that was pointing a 9 mil at us. Smashed the back door off, I was past him, took a few corners, heard the flying squad vehicles closing in. This was a skyline v6 or normal, I’m not a car guy, back wheel drive. I pushed too hard and hit the pavement. Broke the axle or something like that, there we sat, trying to pull away, nothing, cars closing in. I looked at my buddy, it was a picture, he sat there holding his beer staring in front of him. I wanted to laugh. I shouted for us to run, he just sat, I ran, stupid me, our bags were in the trunk, police bags lol, anyway I was running. Cop cars all over. Some cop tackled me in someone’s garden, I was full of flowers and dirt. They took me back to the car, ohhh shit then the cop that I bumped just a little came limping over, he was not a happy chappie. My look or apparently my attitude did not help. They took me back to his van to pick up the door. This must have looked funny, and you shall realize my sense of humour is hmmmm, different, off to the station. I was never going to give my brothers up, they worked me over nicely. Son of a bitch warrant officer smashed me in the teeth with his knee, blood spurting out, I begged him to try that after the case. One on one off duty, there were about 8 cops, I could not care, always too fucking lippy for my own good.

I’m not a big guy, not the best fighter but I tell you, i just don’t seem to feel pain as other people do. I enjoy it, just a bit, anyway, I said nothing. They took me to where Merv was waiting. I blurted out it looked worse than what it was, two front teeth broken and blood pouring out.

Merv shat himself, poor Merv, we met in the cops, he was a quiet, chilled guy, smart but stupid, fuck he should not have been a cop. He never arrested anyone, so he became my best bud. It was obvious he became involved with my brothers and I, we weren’t bad guys, just loved a rush, good adrenalin rush, when you’re doing something wrong---ok illegal, and know things could go horribly wrong, could get shot, arrested and you are a cop--man that makes it a whole lot worse. Merv goes in, I hear one slap and then he tells them everything…fucking hell, off we go, my brothers are still sleeping. Jack and Duane - Jack is the eldest of the six brothers, we have half a sister---full body, legs and arms, same mother but thank God she had a different father. Jack had warned me to leave the car, but drunk smarty pants wanted to go for a drive. I managed to tell Merv he knows nothing about the car. We just went for a drive, I/We would come up with a plan for that one later. Jack was mad, they put Jack and Duane in a cell and Merv and myself’ in another cell, something about cops arresting another cop, fuck they make out as if you are the worst piece of shit on the planet. Yes we were naughty, did stupid things, robbed a few places, stole a car or two, some radios, tyres, petrol….. I was 19. We were raised by a drunk/abusive bastard, we’ll just call him father. We were poor, worked our asses off, never thought we could be part of normal society. We always thought we were bound to be poor, struggling people, never amounting to much. I was obsessed with changing that situation.

I was 16 when I started matric, and I was the first in our family lines, mother and fathers side of successfully completing matric. I wanted to be a pilot, but eyes and ears was going to be