What Are You Scared of Now?: Overcoming Phobias and Life's Anxieties

By Kenneth A. Marston

I happened to write this particular book to help individuals who truly desire to rid themselves of phobias and anxieties that negatively impact their lives. As a pre-teenage male who suffered from numerous phobias, I figured out that the only way to conquer these truly annoying and aggravating traumas of the mind was to tackle and conquer each o

• Language: English
• Publisher: Authors Press
• Release date: Jan 28, 2020
• ISBN: 9781643142210

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Copyright © 2020 by Kenneth A. Marston

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

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CONTENTS

acknowledgements

author’s note

foreword

introduction

PART ONE OVERCOMING PHOBIAS AND FEARS

the fear of loud noises

the fear of heights (fear of falling) - acrophobia

fear of confined spaces - claustrophobia

fear of the dark (nighttime)

fear of water (drowning) - hydrophobia

fear of leaving home - home sickness

fear of puddles

fear of failure (going outside of one’s comfort zone)

fear of speaking or singing in front of crowds

fear of flying

fear of doing anything by oneself (lack of self-confidence)

ocd (obsessive-compulsive disorder)

fear of disappointing others, especially one’s parents

fear of death - necrophobia

death of a loved one

grief

kleptomania

discomfort concerning sexual matters

divorce

PART TWO OVERCOMING LIFE’S ANXIETIES

wetting the bed

moving

ages fourteen and forty

dating

alcohol and drugs

smoking

sickness

injuries

fighting

females

employment

communication

other traumas

how to combat bullying

here is one proven technique to stop bullies in their tracks!

here is another example of how neill survived bullying in high school

here is another method to beat bullies at their own game

here is another better technique

here is probably the best method to handle a bully

how can we as adults and professionals help those who are bullying victims?

conclusion

REVIEW

BOOK TITLE: WHAT ARE YOU SCARED OF NOW?: OVERCOMING PHOBIAS AND LIFE’S ANXIETIES

AUTHOR: KENNETH A. MARSTON

REVIEWED BY: Barbara Bamberger Scott

Conquer, defeat, overcome, subdue all the phobias and fears gripping your life. Face them head on.

All of us have secret and not-so-secret fears, numbing anxieties, and hidden stresses. The author draws heavily on his own experience of dealing with such conditions, and on the knowledge he has gained from helping others to manage or expel them. Fear, he states, can be healthy, such as fear of disrespecting God or dishonoring others. But most often, it is unhealthy and irrational, a sense of the dangers of the unknown. A phobia is often linked to real events, causing residual dislike, aversion, and panic. Anxiety involves worry and self- torment. All of us, Marston states, no matter what our genetic code or our life’s occurrences, will experience fears, phobias, and anxieties.

Marston gives many examples of these problems from his youth and upbringing. Early on, he was terrified of the sound of thunder after being near a very loud, low-flying plane in babyhood. As he grew older, he overcame this fear through a rational understanding of what causes thunderstorms. He had acrophobia: a fear of heights; this he conquered by the simple means of climbing a ladder. Later he was able to use that technique when, as a social worker, he assisted a disabled teen with the same fear, encouraging the boy to do as he had done, ascending a ladder, jumping off, and going up again until he defeated the phobia. Other childhood fears that Marston conquered included fear of leaving home, fear of water, and even a fear of puddles.

Marston is a retired social worker, so much of his advice and the techniques he recommends come from helping others in a professional capacity. His book is a valuable how-to for those trying to overcome fears, anxieties, and various emotional disorders. He has organized it almost as a lively memoir, an adventure in growing up and expanding one’s understanding over time. He uses personal recollections "bedwetting as a child, alcohol use as a youth, figuring out how to relate to girls, dealing with bullies. and a penchant for fighting resulting in a multitude of injuriesD as a way of counseling readers in progressing from their fears to a positive outlook. Many people fear failure, and the author frankly shares a list of his own failures, reminding readers that failure is an integral part of the life cycle. He offers wisdom concerning employment goals and general self-esteem. He has an intimate knowledge of grief, having lost a son, and gives some clues on handling such a cataclysmic, seemingly insuperable tragedy. For him, attention deficit disorder added another dimension to his anxieties, so he presents various strategies for dealing with that and similar syndromes. He also encourages readers to learn to communicate one’s fears to others through counseling.

Marston writes with sensitivity and an appropriate helping of light anecdote but always with a serious intent: to help readers help themselves to accept, understand, and overcome the common barriers of fear, phobia, and anxiety through practical, replicable methods. His book will be useful to caregivers and an inspiration to anyone seeking to change life for the better.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I owe a debt of gratitude to my belated parents. Without them and God’s will I would not exist.

Most of the following occurred before I became married and had a family. Yet, without my wife’s and children’s love and support this manuscript would not exist.

AUTHOR’S NOTE

When you read about the phobias and anxieties, think about each one that affects your life. Determine whether you want to face the trepidation of attempting to conquer it. You will experience failure, exasperation and fear.

Keep a diary of your progress. A written record will reassure you about any baby steps or giant strides you achieve during your quest.

Thank you!                 Kenneth A. Marston

FOREWORD

What is the difference between a fear and a phobia? Let us discuss fear first. What is a fear? Is there such a feeling as a healthy fear? How do the negative aspects of fear affect an individual’s body, health and mind?

The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language defines fear as a feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence of imminent danger; to be uneasy or apprehensive and extreme reverence or awe toward a supreme power.

What are synonyms for the word fear? Horror, fright, terror, trepidation, alarm, dismay, cowardice, consternation, panic, anxiety, dread, scared and apprehension. What are synonyms for the word reverence? Glory, worship, homage, adoration, admiration, dignity, renown, esteem, deep respect and veneration.

So, yes, a person can have a healthy fear: fear of disrespecting God, fear of disrespecting or disappointing one’s parents, fear of showing dishonor to proper authorities and public officials and so on.

Fear of something tangible or intangible can have an extremely powerful effect on individuals, families and society. What bothers people the most is a fear of the unknown, the unexpected and the surprise happenings that negatively disrupt daily life.

Logic is forgotten. One becomes driven by pure emotion and adrenaline. Blood pressure increases significantly; the heart beats wildly, almost out of control; the mind puts a person on high alert and can leave an individual in a state of panic and disorder.

In extreme fear, the person might run blindly away from the situation or may stand still, frozen in place. The only result that matters to one is to escape, to elude, to avoid the danger perceived whether real or not.

What exactly is a phobia? The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language defines phobia as a persistent, abnormal or irrational fear of a specific thing that compels one to avoid the feared stimulus; a strong fear, dislike or aversion. Examples of phobias are as follows:

agoraphobia - great fear of being alone or of being in open spaces acrophobia - fear of high places

claustrophobia - fear of confined spaces, enclosed places

arachnophobia - abnormal fear of spiders

hydrophobia - abnormal fear of water (drowning)

homophobia - intense aversion to the homosexual way of life necrophobia- abnormal fear of death

Normal functions, feelings and thoughts get disrupted within the brain. Certainly, anxiety and stress stem from unhealthy fears. Phobias and anxieties go hand in hand.

How can an individual combat such phobias? If a person familiarizes himself/herself with something that causes consternation, then, that one will reduce the trepidation and anxiety that occurs because of one’s fears and phobias. Taking the time to educate oneself will help dispel the terror of an unknown.

The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language defines anxiety as a state of uneasiness or apprehension; a state of intense apprehension; uncertainty and fear resulting from the anticipation of a threatening event or situation, often to a degree that the normal physical and psychological functioning of the affected individual is disrupted; an eager, often agitated desire.

What are synonyms for anxiety? "Worry, care,