Sexi: Spiritual Existential Intimacy

By Myranda Johnson and Terry Huddleston

SEXI is a collection of poems and their subsequent creation monologue that dive deep into the human experience. It’s all heart, psyche, and spirit. As a poetic portrayal of life and all of its beauty, SEXI includes works encompassing every avenue from spirituality, intimacy, and love to psychosis and delusions of grandeur. SEXI: Spiritual Existential Intimacy is a roller coaster of a ride that will have you thoroughly engaged, enraged, and wholly intrigued.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 9, 2022
• ISBN: 9781664199866

Myranda Johnson

Once a passionate dreamer brimming with curiosity and confidence, Myranda found herself stripped of independent outliers and plans for a future. Suddenly she knew nothing of who she was. The consequential feeling of identity loss was as though she’d forgotten how to be. Forgotten who Myranda, as an individual, lived, the things she loved, what made her laugh, cry, and even what she feared most. It became pertinent that she finds herself behind the words, and break free from society’s neatly categorized boxes. Today, Myranda is a survivor, a mother, and a follower of God. She is passionate about spirituality, creativity, the arts, and her role as a mother. In a world that tells us what to be and how to live, she prides herself on seeking real purpose through faith and challenging the status quo.

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SEXI

Spiritual Existential Intimacy

MYRANDA JOHNSON

Copyright © 2022 by Myranda Johnson.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 12/03/2021

Xlibris

844-714-8691

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CONTENTS

Nothing Lost

How to LIfe

The Devil Has Asked for You

Grand Theft

Skin

Myranda’s Rights

Collateral Damage

Speak

Surrendered Hands

Elucidated Love

In Purpose

Departure

Adopted Potential

Just Passing Through

Locked in a Photograph

Xs Lead to Os

Penciled In

Breakup

Pastel Skies

Universal Fools

Product of Prayer

Loves Allowance

Fast, Girl, Fast

Breathless

Undercover Control

Devouring Desires

Her Heart’s Content

Grace in Love

Realtor

You

Integrity

Magnets

You Taste like Satisfaction

True North

Lost and Found

Paradox

Time Travel

Lovely Lunatic

Voices and Vices

Beautiful Madness

Seductress

Rape

Angst

In His Wake

God’s Dirty Work

Faceless Fear

Silent Scandals

Morningstar Luciferian Lies

Viper’s Tongue

Subterfuge

Little Monster

Troublesome Soul

Blasphemous Baptism

Prowling Huntress

Hell’s Holy Heir

Bottom Feeders Above

Kiss the Sky

Cotton Ball Cloud

Skyfall

Unorthodox Church

Her

Everlasting Love

Babes and Boogeymen

Colorado River Wreckage

Breaking in Your Blessings

Fake Love

Ink

Forever Forgiven

Afterthought

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Nothing Lost

Although throughout life, love and loss are inevitable, and the emotions are evident within each occurrence. Perhaps it is not better to have love and loss but rather to have never loved and never have known the loss.

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Nothing Lost is a thought I often contemplate—a mindset I’ve adopted to bandage my love wounds. I placed it as a sort of preface for the reader. Love is not something I am comfortable with. I do not give it or declare it recklessly because it’s been used against me. It’s a despicable thing to make someone’s love or the way they do into their weakness. So to guard it or never give it has been my sanctuary. Wherever there is love, there will be a loss. There’s no way around it whether that loss is due to mortality or abandonment by those we love. And sometimes the injury is from a mutual split. In all circumstances, emotions run high, and during those times, I find myself questioning why we submit ourselves to such futility and hurt. Would it not be better to have never cultivated those feelings? Sound logic would say not to play with fire. Yet we do, and we do it with such abandon and carelessness that the collateral damage when the fun is over often leaves hearts far worse than just broken. They become hard and calloused with impenetrable walls built up around them. Trust and vulnerability become dirty things, and every poor soul to come after the hurt is in for a calamitous type of love. Yet to not know love and be loved is such a grievous mistake. We, as human beings in our purest state, are nothing more than people who love and seek to be loved in return. Though the bandage I’ve used for so long seems to keep my wounds sterile and safe, when I am ready to rip it off, it will hurt like hell, and there will always be a scar hidden underneath. Oh, but it’s worth it. With no risk, there can be no reward.

And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love (1 Cor. 13:13).

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How to LIfe

How do you life or live it anyway?

I seem to have missed the workshop on how to properly do so.

The manual I never received and must’ve misplaced the specific blueprints of the one I was given.

I have yet to figure out this thing called life, but I have lived.

There’s been many mishaps, misuse, abuse, and bad decisions.

I’ve played with ugly souls, including my own, loved divinely flawed ones, taken beautiful trips, and chased all the fun I could.

I’ve cried many tears and faced a lot of fears.

I wake in the morning to pull every hideous thing from my heart, sift the mess of my mind, and put on a pretty face.

I seem to stumble where others sprint.

Yet, I’m not here to compete.

Instead, I run a solo race, a marathon away from the madness.

This journey is mine alone, though I walk not by my lonesome.

I know not how to live in the confines outlined by this world.

I am of dust from the Earth, but my spirit was crafted to soar.

I wasn’t made to be restrained, tamed, or placed nicely upon a shelf.

I am no one’s trophy and cannot live shackled or chained.

No box fits my intended size because growth is inevitable.

You shall not call me what I was, but what I am, and speak only of my becoming.

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How to Life is about feeling different and set apart from the masses. It’s standing out in a culture all about fitting in. It’s easy to look upon other’s life and think we should have accomplished what they have or directed our lives in a similar manner. Truth is, each journey is specific to the individual treading the path, and the race has no winners. We advance at our own pace, and according to the Lord, it’s always right on time. There will be days when we make leaps and bounds and others where it seems we have moved mere inches. This is all okay. Nothing in the rule book of life says we must accomplish certain things before our feet reach the finish line. We set the bar for ourselves and try our best to fulfill the burning desires, passions, and goals set ablaze within our hearts. That’s enough. Live a kingdom’s way of life, do right, be kind, love each other. Don’t ever forget to live a little or a lot. There is a perfect and intelligently designed world set out before us. It would be such a pity to have seen it all and done it all but never truly been a part of it all. We are human beings; in this world, we are supposed to simply be, just as much as we are to do. Don’t become so enraptured with what you are doing that you neglect your being.

Go, eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart; for God has already accepted your works (Eccles. 9:7).

You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand (Ps. 16:11).

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The Devil Has Asked for You

What is this one, this laughable stock?

You pious old crone, this one we’ll mock.

You create perfection, yet this one is born.

Have you lost your touch, almighty, sound the horn?

Who is it that you speak?

My flock follows, in me, I teach.

It’s her, a gem, a diamond in the rough.

Oh, dark demon, you think you’re tough!

Have you purposed it to be our pleasure’s heart?

Look at the others, abiding by doctrines they never depart.

This one is inadequate, still, and slow.

Don’t you see the blemishes laid bare below?

You see her in progress, a journey unfinished.

My purpose even you could never diminish.

You taunt her, and prey, trying to sway.

Yet in me, she’s never off course or slightly dismayed.

What an impetuous being made of lack and sin.

This is your handiwork, no, you failure of men?

Are you senile old master, in your ways of yore?

She toils and fails in a cycle evermore.

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What is your concern, the real and true?

Does she invoke a terror, trepidation in you?

She was knitted in purpose and for a reason.

She may yet seem much but wait for her season.

You bestow a confidence, much in vain.

Give her to me to not ease but gift pain.

You supposedly speak nothing untrue.

Yet in her resembles none of you.

I know what I’ve placed, deep down inside.

In her time, you’ll run, yet collide.

She’s an underdog, and still a light unseen.

Just know she’s my child, in her is me.

Oh, you old fool, she’s lost and a coward.

I’ll fight for her soul and yet deflower.

Do you think she knows, your might, your purpose.

She’s nothing, a ripple under the surface.

You question my judgment and think a standstill.

You know naught this all, it’s creation; my will.

I’ve crafted a weapon and for you nonetheless.

She will yet conquer, a woman; your best.

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The Devil Has Asked for You is about the wild card. Someone who is taken for granted and seemingly doesn’t fit in. The one who seems to be lagging behind the crowd. People are quick to write you off if they don’t realize what you carry as if there’s a standard and you don’t meet the benchmark. The thing is it’s often these stragglers, the ones who are overlooked, who hold the greatest potential. There’s a process to purpose, and many are too impatient and too categorically and label-minded to stick it out. Fitting everyone neatly in boxes has always been society’s way of limiting people to one-lane lives. Anyone who stands out is sat on the sidelines.

Quiet yourself and stay composed because you’ve colored outside the lines. You don’t fit the cubic feet of this box, and we have no label maker or machine that recognizes your genetic makeup, wild cards as it were. In the final stretch, the potential is laid down, and waymakers make way. They never saw you coming. Their lack of vision and inner wisdom made them write you off, but you’ve lapped everyone in the race, and your journey is a winning testimony. God is in you, knows you, and stands with you. Not behind or in front but he is there by your side always. God knows what he placed within you; he wants you to realize this as well. You are a weapon in this world, not one aimed at flesh and blood but the evil afoot. Find you, believe in you, and know what he says about you is accurate. You are peculiar, royal, and so much more. You are gods, he said. Find God within you and use it to bring a little more godliness to the world.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Eph. 6:12).

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Grand Theft

Black trails streak down her