Love Pain & Ecstasy: The Series

By April Rencher

The main character, Brooke, is juggling her social life and school, but she has the typical hormonal issues any young adult has. From there, she blossoms into a scavenger for intimacy, lust and love. She sometimes finds it, but she manages to get herself in compromising positions figuratively and literally. It deals with the disappointment, embarrassment, heartaches, laughter, joy and consequence.

• Language: English
• Publisher: April Rencher
• Release date: Dec 6, 2021

April Rencher

Sign: Aries Hobbies: Writing (of course), Cooking, Riding Rollercoasters, Watching The Walking Dead *I’m not trying to give you a sob story* Well, I have been writing poems and short stories since I was in elementary school. It truly started after having open heart surgery, because I felt alone and isolated. I really felt like I was a monster with this keloid on my scar. I really didn’t think I was like everyone else for six months. I broke out of that phase and became a social butterfly again. I started doing more stories and poems in high school. If it wasn’t for that pen and paper, I would have went crazy. I started doing poems in the 10th grade. I started writing poems for others to show to their significant other. Things got better once I got to college. But sadly for me, I was on the wrong birth control, which led to depression. I was in an abusive relationship at the time. We ended things, but I thought he would be the only man to love me so I took the abuse even after we broke up. I continued on and got my bachelor’s, but I didn’t get any jobs in the field I went to school for. So, I was doing small internships and temporary jobs. Finally, my friends encouraged me to write and get my frustrations out. I was reluctant to think anything would come out of it. But, I kept writing. Fast forward to present, I am on my third book. I am doing website design and working in my public relations field. As a result of all the crazy things that happened to me, I was able to publish my children and utilize my degree. I guess to let you know that I wouldn’t be here without God and my faith. There is light even when you are in complete darkness. Writing is my craft and maybe one day my livelihood. I thank you for reading all this as well.

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

As a child, I’d been introduced to nudity by my stepmother. She thought that since we were all females, except for my dad, she didn’t worry about having proper clothes on around the house. My two stepsisters followed in her footsteps, too. I was more uncomfortable about the idea, because it was weird to be going commando all the time. I always wondered what my biological mom would do, but she had committed suicide after I was born so I wasn’t able to ask her that question. I would choose to go to my room to change instead of exposing myself. I was introduced to sex through television though.

When I was seven, I went to a sleepover with friends and we flipped through the channels on the television to find something to watch. We found this channel where a woman was gyrating across the screen; she wasn’t dancing with clothes on, and her breasts were bouncing up and down. She swung from a pole with money sticking out of her G-string like leaves on a tree. We all looked in shock, and my friend’s older brother barged in just then. What are you guys doing? he questioned with curious eyes.

We were just-, my friend interjected before her brother turned his head at the screen.

He stared at it and just smiled.

Oh that’s what you are looking at, he said, and watched for a minute. I think you need to change that before mom and dad see that, he said as he closed the door.

We did as instructed, but it wouldn’t be the last time we would see the same thing. From the age of seven to twelve, my weekends were filled with playground adventures but also with pornography.

In our two story house, I’d slowly creep down our squeaky stairs to reach to my promising land. The big screen would turn on and I would find out what channel the mature content could come on and check for sexual content and nudity. I was actually pretty smart for my age, but I would have a children’s program on standby just in case my stepmom came downstairs, and I could switch back to hide the sex scene.

As I watched, my panties were always soaked, and I didn’t understand what was going on. I knew that I didn’t have to use the bathroom, but the wet sensation felt really good when I moved across the sofa to readjust. I knew -it was wrong to feel this way, and I knew I couldn’t bring it up to anyone.

So, my love for porn would be shared with my best friend, Mona. At our sleepovers, we sought adult entertainment instead of doing something childish. We bonded through seeing women opening their mouths and screaming their lover’s names in ecstasy. So, we started reenacting the same act with our dolls. We would play slow music and have the dolls strip each other. I knew my addiction was getting stronger, because I asked my stepsisters, Tonya and Tisha, what sex was. I tried to play dumb to see how much they knew.

We would talk after dinner and I was allowed to ask them one question a day.

So, why do people have sex? I asked them.

I mean I d-....people do it because it feels good. You better not dare try it, because your body is not mature enough for it, Tonya said as she pointed a knife at my face.

Ok, ok, ok, got it, I said nervously.

We would continue to talk about it for another month until I didn't care to ask about anything else.

This was just to clarify a lot of the things I was seeing. My best friend would do the same thing with her brother, but he was not comfortable having the talk like my step siblings were. So, we would share our intelligence like we were on recon mission. We knew what condoms were. We would see the wrappers in our parents’ trash cans when we would empty them. So, we discussed how we would see it and would become giddy that what we were seeing on the screen was happening in real life.

My desire to watch sex would become so severe, I would change to the movie channels in the day just to see if I could see a breast or even a bare back. Even if my stepsister was in the open room next to me at night, I would shield the television from her with my blanket just so I could look at it.

I would even risk being up too late and almost got caught by my father. So, I would act like I was asleep and he would carry me upstairs not knowing what I had just been doing.

I began to talk with my friends in school about what I was seeing. They were interested, but the conversations did not last long. My best friend was busted by her parents, so she gave up watching; plus she was moving, so my partner in crime would no longer be available. I was on my own. We moved to another area due to my stepsisters not knowing how to stay out of fist fights. Our new home had a living room that was very open. I couldn’t indulge myself there, but I did have a computer in my room. I looked at pictures not knowing videos were on there for me to watch. That discovery came soon after.

In the meantime, I noticed that I was naturally wet all the time. I’d rub my panties against my bed in a slow hump hoping to feel something. Anything. I decided to do some research, and I found out that with a circular motion that my clitoris would be my sexual savior. The summer I discovered masturbation I gave my pointer finger the workout of a lifetime. I began to discover myself. I slowly began to touch my breasts as well and fed into my sexual craving.

Middle school was the first time that I realized I was not as experienced as I thought. I was in a computer class with about 18 people. So, we were able to get to know each other. I primarily hung out with the guys, because the girls were always talking about frivolous stuff. I was not about to be bored to tears talking about what nail polish I should use tonight during Lost. My friend, Brian, and I would joke around during class. The other two, Riley and Kyle, would be the ones to constantly make me laugh and play fight with me.

Riley would always hold on tightly and linger longer than normal as he swung me around the classroom and tried to tickle me to an early death. Of course, the girls Amanda and Cara that I sat next to would notice this before I

did.

What's going on with you and Riley? Amanda asked while smirking.

Nothing, we are just having a good time, I said, logging into my computer.

I don't know, it’s just, he seems to always be smiling at you, Cara said.

You think he likes me? I asked, working on my assignment.

Yeah totally. Have you not noticed how he always wants to sit by you at lunch and be behind you in line? Cara asked, chewing on a piece of gum. I mean he's cool, but I don't think he is my type. He got the bucktooth thing going on, I replied.

Ohhhh, they both said and started giggling.

What? I said, looking at the both of them.

I heard him tell Kyle and Brian he was going to ask you out, Amanda said.

Oh no, I said, slumping in the chair.

Well, you better think of something before he does it, Cara said.

I shook my head and focused back on my assignment. I didn't think anyone was interested in me. I was just minding my own business, not caring who was interested in me. I had to somehow figure out how to avoid this. Throughout the day, I tried to ignore the situation. I got on the bus later after school and thought about it. I couldn't even watch Gossip Girls in peace without this nagging feeling. So the next day, I dodged him and he wasn't in class. So, I walked up to my teacher, Mrs. Poole, and asked where he was. Oh, he has to be in football practice for the next few weeks since he will be in the starting lineup, she said.

Oh okay then, I said and ran back to my desk.

I was so happy about this news. I wanted my friend to stay just that. Plus, I had my eyes on a guy named Alex. He was probably an inch shorter than me, but I couldn't have cared less. He had the voice of Barry White and the handwriting of royalty. He was in the other hall, so I never got a chance to notice him until I went to the bathroom during the time his hall went to lunch.

He stared at me and smiled. My heart somewhat liquefied.

Of course, he got his sidekick to tell me he thought I was cute and hand me a note during my lunch wave. In the note, he talked about how he always looked at me from afar and would love to call me sometime. Due to my restrictions at home, I didn't know how I could get away with talking to a boy on the phone, because my stepmother was the biggest cock blocker of them all. I thought he was too cute for me not to give him the house number. So in my reply, I told him to call me during a time I knew no one would notice the phone ringing. I passed my note back off to the sidekick by the buses.

Around seven that night, I was on the phone with my friend, Jasmine, and I was able to click over to him when he called the house. We talked for an hour, and he had asked me would I be going to the fall dance tomorrow that everyone was excited about. I told him yes. He told me I needed to save him a dance. I got off the phone with him and planned my entire outfit that night. I found a pink polo and a jean skirt that I thought I would look cute in. I couldn't even sleep because I had so much excitement for the next day.

I got to school and passed notes to Alex the whole day through his friend.

Once school was out, I waited for 7 p.m. to come so I could drive my stepmom crazy about dropping me off. I got there and everyone was there drinking punch. I looked for him throughout the gym, but I didn't see him. I chatted it up with my friends and danced with them. Thirty minutes into the dance, he and his sidekick were walking in. I didn't want to seem eager so I kept dancing until he approached me.

Hey Brooke, he said.

Hey, I said blushing.

The music changed to this powerful bass dancing music. Everyone was paired up with somebody. Alex grabbed my hips and pushed my butt towards his crotch. I felt his dick rub against me. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I examined the room and just swung my hips like everyone else. Then, he tried to feel underneath my skirt, and I had to swat his hands away from there.

You don't want me to touch you? he whispered into my ear.

No, I just want to dance, I turned back to him and said.

Our twosome turned into a huge grinding session with one person after another like a big snake. The teachers decided to break it up after a few songs. It was over by 9:30 so I hugged Alex goodbye and ran to the car. For the next three weeks, I would sneak to talk to him on the phone and became a relay racer with the note passing. Alex told me about the future track season and how he couldn't wait for high school. Amanda and Cara picked up on this blossoming romance and wanted all the details in computer class.

So, I see you’ve been talking to Alex. He's c ute, Amanda said.

Yeah, he is, I said.

So, you guys been on a date yet? Amanda asked.

No, we haven't, I said.

Well, have you guys kissed yet? Cara asked.

Umm n-no, I stammered.

What?! Amanda exclaimed to the point where our teacher looked at us.

What's the big deal? I asked.

He should have fingered you by now. Josh does it all the time at the movies. It kind of hurts at first, but I made it to three fingers last time, Amanda said.

You are so lucky. Hunter only did it to me twice. You are such a slut, Cara said.

I looked at the two of them in mild confusion, because I had no idea what that meant. I was not about to ask them and seem inexperienced and later on find out, it was for the best I hadn't.

But back to you, what are you waiting on? You act like you haven't kissed anyone before, Amanda said.

Ummm I umm, I stammered.

Oh my gosh you are not a like a...?! Cara squealed.

You've never kissed a boy before?! Amanda kind of loudly whispered.

No, I haven't, I said sadly.

Even more reason you should kiss him. You are going to do it today, Cara said.

You’ve got to be kidding me, right? I asked.

No, you are going to lose your lip virginity in 30 minutes, Amanda demanded.

I'm not ready. What if I am bad at it? What if he doesn't want to kiss me? I said nervously.

You have more boobs than us, of course he wants to kiss you, Cara said. Let's practice. So, grab your hand and ball up into a fist. Now, suck and nibble on your thumb, Amanda said.

I did as told and did this on and off while working on my assignments. Get more into it and suck a little bit harder. Ohhh just like that. You are a total natural. Cara said.

My thumb was drenched, and I felt stupid doing this. I got up and grabbed some hand sanitizer.

I'm done. You guys are crazy. I said.

So, are you going to do it? Amanda asked.

I guess, I said.

I know, they are about to go to the bathroom in about 5 minutes. So, go get the bathroom pass, Cara said.

I got the pass and got the thumbs up from Cara and Amanda who were looking outside the classroom door. I walked out and didn't see him, but I turned to the left and saw him go past the corner. Some of my friends were trying to speak to me and I gave them a quick hey. I saw him get a sip of water and I grabbed him.

Hey, what's up, he asked cheesing.

I, umm, need you to do something for me, I said hesitantly.

Like what? he asked

I couldn't think and I froze. His class was about to walk back to their classroom. So, I pushed him into an empty corner and kissed him. I opened my eyes, and he looked at me with shock.

Where did that come from? he asked gladly.

I don't know. I'm sorry, I said, starting to walk off.

He grabbed my hand and kissed me again.

You shouldn't be. It definitely made my day, he said before catching up with his class.

I did it. I was so proud of myself, but I felt a tad bit manipulated because I wasn’t planning on doing it anytime soon. It felt right and at least I wasn't embarrassed. I proudly walked back to the classroom with my head help up high.

So, how did it go? Amanda asked with glee when I walked in.

It went well, I said, smiling.

Did you use tongue? Cara eagerly asked.

I rolled my eyes. Give me a break. Just be proud I did it, I said.

Okay, we will give you some credit. So, you gotta get to the fingering now, Amanda said.

Baby steps you guys, I said.

Shortly after, I was busted on the phone with him that weekend. My stepmom told me I couldn't talk to a boy on the phone until I was older. I told Alex about it. We agreed that it was best to go our separate ways. He was hugging up with a big booty girl named Shay the next week. So, I just took that loss. Plus, we were about to be in a new environment, because high school was only a few months away.

CHAPTER TWO

I got my first boyfriend that summer, and his name was Tay. We’d go to the movies, and he would reach inside my bra to touch my budding breasts. I felt his lips against mine. His warm tongue would be inside my mouth wanting for a wrestling match. Even though, I could have lived without the tongue, but I let him continue because he smelled really good. We would talk dirty to each other over chat. I began making a list of places where I would have sex at. I knew I was too scared to go through with it, but it was nice to play around with the idea.

We broke up because I had my eye on someone else at my new school. Sadly, that backfired on me, too. So, I focused on being a ninth grader and hanging out with new people. High school pep rallies and football games were definitely just a fashion show, but I hung in there through my rough phase. During the last quarter of freshman year, I saw this tall, slinky guy walk across the concourse.

I had never seen him before, and I could see his pearly whites from a distance. He didn't have the most put together uniform, but it could be worse. I had no idea how to approach him. So, I got my friend Terri to do it.

Girl, guess what? I asked her.

What? she said, eating chips.

I saw the cutest guy today at the concourse, but I have never seen him before, I said.

Sooooooo, she said, licking her fingers.

You got to go talk to him for me. Pretty please I will love you for life, I whined.

Ughhh fine, she said.

So, she managed to see him the next day and told him about me. She told him if he was interested he could meet me at the section B bathroom at 10:15 a.m. I managed to get over there and there he was. He smiled at me.

Hi, I'm Eddie. You are Brooke, right? he asked as he shook my hands.

Yeah, I am, I said.

So, I heard you was looking for me, he said while leaning against the wall. I wasn't looking for you. I was just trying to see if you were single since I was a little interested. I haven't seen you before, I said.

Hmm, no I just got here from another school, he said.

Oh, well welcome to Holmes, but I’ve got to get back to class, I said.

Well, give me your number, he said.

I wrote it down on a crumpled up piece of paper in my hoodie. I gave it to him before I ran back to class. Later that night, I got a call from him. We talked briefly and he promised he would write me and send it to me by my friend. We did this for weeks. He managed to get on my lunch wave. So, I would meet up with him and talk then. Before I went to play practice, he would kiss me goodbye.

After a while, we decided to be official. At play practice, one of my fellow actors, Rome, who I thought was gay, would try to hold my hand a little too long during the scenes. I would have to snatch my hand and remind him I had a boyfriend. He was still persistent about making sure to be next to me. His voice was a mixture of Madea and a screeching owl. He sounded sassier than me and snapped his fingers all the time. I just wanted him to come out of the closet, but I somehow got pulled into one with him.

Broookkkeee, he whined from the back.

What? I yelled.

Come here girl, he said.

What do you want child? I said as I saw him sitting in the furniture closet.

Come sit in this chair. I’ve got to ask you something, he said.

Fine, what? I said plopping myself on the chair.

Just look at me, he said.

For what? What do you want? My scene is about to come up, I said.

I just wannna know like why are you with your boyfriend? he asked.

He's funny, sweet and super cute, I said.

I'm all that too honey, he spat back.

Well, I'm happy with him. You should be happy for me, I said. Alright, fine girl, well I will leave it alone. Come give me a kiss on the cheek, he said.

You’re pushing it. You can get a church hug, I said as I reached toward him.

Next thing, he turns my face toward him and kissed me. Both in my head and aloud, I screamed. I almost fainted from the smooch he gave me. I pulled back and punched him hard in the chest.

What?! I just had to know what it was like, he said.

You have lost your fucking mind, I yelled as I walked out.

What's wrong? the student director asked.

Tell your actors to keep all their shit to themselves. I'm out, I said as I stormed off.

I wasn't able to get a hold of Eddie that night, but I made sure to tell him as soon as I saw him the following morning.

Hey baby, he said as he kissed me and put his arm over my shoulder.

I’ve got to tell you something, I said, removing his hand.

What? he asked.

Rome tricked me into giving him a kiss when I gave him a hug. He turned my face toward him after we hugged. I'm so sorry you know I have no interest in him. He is so gay, I said pitifully.

The sissy boy kissed my girl. The fuck! Eddie exclaimed.

Babe, don't call him that. He is gay. Don't do anything. I just wanted to let you know, I said as I grabbed his face.

I want to punch the living shit out of him. You don't do that disrespectful shit. He knows we’re fucking together, he said.

Calm down, we only have three weeks left of school. We don't need you to be suspended from fighting, I said as I held his hands.

You right. He probably has never experienced a woman's lips before. You know I'm gonna say something, right? he asked.

I know you are, I said walking behind him.

We saw Rome gallop across the concourse with his girlfriends. Eddie walked right up to him and blew up in his face, which I thought we had just agreed for him not to do.

Ayy why are you kissing on my girl? he asked Rome.

Just so I could see this reaction. I know Brooke has probably has seen some other reactions, he laughed.

Hold the fuck up. What are you trying to say? Eddie asked.

She has probably gotten a hold of one your reactions and held on to it firmly. I bet she jerks on it and might even suck it, Rome gestured as he talked for emphasis.

Eddie's friends ran behind him and caught his arm before he punched Rome in the face.

You are sick as fuck. You thinking about me and my girl. You thinking about my dick. You sick fuck. You gay as hell, Eddie yelled as he tried to push his friends off of him.

Eddie's friends brought him back to me, and we walked around the school until the bell rung for us to go to our first class. I got him to lose the fumes, but he was still pissed.

He isn't worth it, I said.

I know, but he’s got a slick mouth. He’s talking crazy for no reason, he said.

We’re good, right? I asked.

Yeah, we’re good, he said as he kissed my forehead.

We walked into the building and continued on with our day. I was just glad not