Love Pain & Ecstasy

By April Rencher

The main character, Brooke, is juggling her social life and school, but she has the typical hormonal issues any young adult has. She wonders in the beginning about sex and how her sexuality can mold her. From there, she blossoms into a scavenger for intimacy, lust and love. She sometimes finds it, but she manages to get herself in compromising positions figuratively and literally. It deals with the disappointment, embarrassment, heartaches, laughter, joy and consequences of relationships and love in life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: April Rencher
• Release date: Nov 3, 2016
• ISBN: 9781370404681

April Rencher

Sign: Aries Hobbies: Writing (of course), Cooking, Riding Rollercoasters, Watching The Walking Dead *I’m not trying to give you a sob story* Well, I have been writing poems and short stories since I was in elementary school. It truly started after having open heart surgery, because I felt alone and isolated. I really felt like I was a monster with this keloid on my scar. I really didn’t think I was like everyone else for six months. I broke out of that phase and became a social butterfly again. I started doing more stories and poems in high school. If it wasn’t for that pen and paper, I would have went crazy. I started doing poems in the 10th grade. I started writing poems for others to show to their significant other. Things got better once I got to college. But sadly for me, I was on the wrong birth control, which led to depression. I was in an abusive relationship at the time. We ended things, but I thought he would be the only man to love me so I took the abuse even after we broke up. I continued on and got my bachelor’s, but I didn’t get any jobs in the field I went to school for. So, I was doing small internships and temporary jobs. Finally, my friends encouraged me to write and get my frustrations out. I was reluctant to think anything would come out of it. But, I kept writing. Fast forward to present, I am on my third book. I am doing website design and working in my public relations field. As a result of all the crazy things that happened to me, I was able to publish my children and utilize my degree. I guess to let you know that I wouldn’t be here without God and my faith. There is light even when you are in complete darkness. Writing is my craft and maybe one day my livelihood. I thank you for reading all this as well.

Book preview

Rencher / LOVE PAIN & ECSTASY

LOVE PAIN & ECSTASY

April Rencher

www.lovepainecstasy.tumblr.com

Copyright © 2015 April Rencher

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Cover by Marvin Underwood.

This is dedicated to

the two beautiful musketeers, Cobes, Airbud, and Dom.

It’s okay, no one will see, he told me as I reached uncertainly for his pulsating, veiny manhood.

It was the first time I was about to touch a penis. I’d had a crush on this guy from JROTC and his name was Taylor. Taylor had this muscular build of a grown man but the smile of a gentle soul. I wanted to date him, but he was looking for sex. I knew I couldn’t offer that, but I thought I could offer at least something.

For it to be such an open area in the parking lot, I was scared, but intrigued. The thought of being caught was a turn on that would turn into a kink later on.

Okay, I said hesitantly.

He slid my panties to the side and looked at me with this fierce desire as he placed a finger inside of my dripping vagina. This was the first time anyone had fingered me. I didn’t know how it was supposed to feel. This painful insertion of fingers jamming inside of me was actually becoming enjoyable. So, we both were pleasing each other. At one point, he wanted my mouth to become a suction tool for his dick.

I don’t want to do that, I said.

Why not? You might as well since you so close, he said.

I'm just not going to, I said.

If I place your head down there, there is nothing you can do about it, he said.

I was taken back. I felt the passion of being wanted, but I was terrified of being forced to do anything against my will. Although, I was sort of turned on by the fact he yearned for me this badly. It was twisted, yet satisfying. I continued to stroke his dick. My virgin hands were now dirty from sweat and spit. He ejaculated in the grips of my small hand. It was the most exhilarating volcano I had ever seen.

To think I could produce that just made me more confident. We wiped up and exited his car; I’d walked in a girl and walked out a woman. Or so I thought. Ironically, I was walking into a Christian high school club meeting, but I felt like my sin would be forgiven. Everyone else was having sex and I was not fully doing the act. So, I saw no harm in what I was doing. At least, I was still a virgin.

CHAPTER ONE

As a child, I’d been introduced to nudity by my stepmother. She thought that since we were all females, except for my dad, she didn’t worry about having proper clothes on around house. My two stepsisters followed in her footsteps, too. I was more uncomfortable about the idea, because it was weird to be going commando all the time. I always wondered what my biological mom would do, but she had committed suicide after I was born so I wasn’t able to ask her that question. I would choose to go to my room to change instead of exposing myself. I was introduced to sex through television though.

When I was seven, I went to a sleepover with friends and we flipped through the channels on the television to find something to watch. We found this channel where a woman was gyrating across the screen; she wasn’t dancing with clothes on, and her breasts were bouncing up and down. She swung from a pole with money sticking out of her G-string like leaves on a tree. We all looked in shock, and my friend’s older brother barged in just then.

What are you guys doing? he questioned with curious eyes.

We were just-, my friend interjected before her brother turned his head at the screen.

He stared at it and just smiled.

Oh that’s what you are looking at, he said, and watched for a minute.

I think you need to change that before mom and dad see that, he said as he closed the door.

We did as instructed, but it wouldn’t be the last time we would see the same thing. From the age of seven to twelve, my weekends were filled with playground adventures but also with pornography.

In our two story house, I’d slowly creep down our squeaky stairs to reach to my promising land. The big screen would turn on and I would find out what channel the mature content could come on and check for sexual content and nudity. I was actually pretty smart for my age, but I would have a children’s program on standby just in case my stepmom came downstairs, and I could switch back to hide the sex scene.

As I watched, my panties were always soaked, and I didn’t understand what was going on. I knew that I didn’t have to use the bathroom, but the wet sensation felt really good when I moved across the sofa to readjust. I knew it was wrong to feel this way, and I knew I couldn’t bring it up to anyone.

So, my love for porn would be shared with my best friend, Mona. At our sleepovers, we sought adult entertainment instead of doing something childish. We bonded through seeing women opening their mouths and screaming their lover’s names in ecstasy. So, we started reenacting the same act with our dolls. We would play slow music and have the dolls strip each other. I knew my addiction was getting stronger, because I asked my stepsisters, Tonya and Tisha, what sex was. I tried to play dumb to see how much they knew.

We would talk after dinner and I was allowed to ask them one question a day.

So, why do people have sex? I asked them.

I mean I d-....people do it because it feels good. You better not dare try it, because your body is not mature enough for it, Tonya said as she pointed a knife at my face.

Ok, ok, ok, got it, I said nervously.

We would continue to talk about it for another month until I didn't care to ask about anything else.

This was just to clarify a lot of the things I was seeing. My best friend would do the same thing with her brother, but he was not comfortable having the talk like my stepsiblings were. So, we would share our intelligence like we were on recon mission. We knew what condoms were. We would see the wrappers in our parents’ trash cans when we would empty them. So, we discussed how we would see it and would become giddy that what we were seeing on the screen was happening in real life.

My desire to watch sex would become so severe, I would change to the movie channels in the day just to see if I could see a breast or even a bare back. Even if my stepsister was in the open room next to me at night, I would shield the television from her with my blanket just so I could look at it.

I would even risk being up too late and almost got caught by my father. So, I would act like I was asleep and he would carry me upstairs not knowing what I had just been doing.

I began to talk with my friends in school what I was seeing.