Dancing with Fear and Confidence: How to liberate yourself and your career in mid-life

By Laura Walker

When you want to escape the drudgery and dissatisfaction of your current situation you need much more than motivational pep talks or superficial clichés.
You have many years of work ahead of you. Will you be more drained, more drone, more dread? Or will you become more fulfilled, more meaningful, more you?
But the odds are stacked against you.
You need to know what is really going on, the pitfalls to avoid, strategies that work and how to get a robust personal plan.
Laura Walker has transformed her award-winning academic research on mid-life reinvention into this powerful, practical guide.
It reveals the hidden truths and tools you need to discover and step into the next chapter of your work and life—confidently, with your head held high.

• Language: English
• Publisher: mPowr Publishing
• Release date: Dec 23, 2021
• ISBN: 9781907282973

Laura Walker

Laura Walker grew up in the Derbyshire Dales. She now lives with her husband in Staffordshire. She has been writing since childhood and specialises in ya romance, regency romance and mystery novels.

Book preview

1

Not a solo dance

Sometimes, you can shock yourself.

Ten years ago, she was HR director for a leading utilities company. In a leadership meeting with her peers, things were getting heated. It had been a particularly stressful few months with lots of change and many political battles.

A consultant was presenting a proposal which involved creating a new communications team. The proposal wasn’t thought through, it wouldn’t work in practice. They hadn’t talked to the people they should have—ironically!

She found herself systematically dismantling the credibility of the proposal piece by piece in front of everyone. The others were egging her on. They were like a pack and she was fully involved.

After the meeting, she was shaken and shocked. Who was that person?

Walking round the building—marching at first then slowing as she calmed down—she replayed what had just happened over and over in her mind. She had been part of a tribal dance. A macho, divisive and political dance—with a powerfully fast rhythm that was hard to resist. The pervasive culture at that time had seeped into her unconscious.

After a few days leave and lots of beating herself up, she resigned with no job to go to. She had to work her six months’ notice but felt immediately better. What a relief. She could leave that tribe. She felt freer than she had for a long time.

Humans are hardwired with the need to belong and fit in. People are social beings and need each other. It’s a deep-rooted survival need. If you don’t fit in, it’s easier to be excluded and harder to survive.

Everyone belongs to several social groups or tribes. You have a position or role in all your groups and that role brings with it many expectations, responsibilities, or patterns of behaviour. Some roles will suit you better than others. Some you chose, others were chosen for you.

Multiple roles and expectations

By mid-life, most people have accumulated an impressive number of roles—whether they like it or not.

How many do you have?

No wonder it can feel overwhelming at times.

Attempting to face in so many different directions at the same time can leave you spinning and feeling dizzy.

Sam is a senior manager in a telecommunications company. He is committed to work, valued by the business and has a talent for getting things done. He is also Dad to three teenagers, Son to ageing parents, rugby team coach, a regular pub quiz team member, to name just a few.

Until now, he has managed to balance the many demands on his time. Recently though, he has started to feel angry and frustrated. He wishes his life wasn’t such hard work. He is the ball in the pinball machine—being catapulted