The 40 Greatest Lessons of Life: All the Wisdom, with the Mistakes

By Scott E. Kauffman

In this book, The Forty Greatest Lessons of Life, author Scott Kaufmann writes to help readers open their eyes to new things, their minds to new ways, and their hearts to new feelings. The combination of these three things will change lives forever, and therefore the lives of all we come in contact with in the future. It may only be forty lessons, but these forty lessons will change the way we look at things forever, and forever as he has said before is a very, very, very long time.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Nov 29, 2021
• ISBN: 9781982269043

Scott E. Kauffman

Scott is the author of If Tomorrow Never Comes, as well as his Blog True Destiny. His motivation is in helping others discover the passions inside, and turning those passions into action, and accepting their own destiny. Scott lives in FtWorth, Texas with his husband Ryan, and their two canines Lucy and Dolly.

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CHAPTER 1

Knowledge Is Power

Without knowledge, life is not more than the shadow of death.

- Molifre

E veryone—well, almost everyone—has heard the saying that knowledge is power. To some degree, I would agree, but I take a slightly different stance. Most people make the assumption that the more you know, the more power you have, and then the more you can accomplish. The power sought is not because people necessarily want to do good, but because many want to lord over others. It is nothing more than a massive power grab; and with this comes actions only associated with trying to maintain that power at all cost. Good Lord, if you want to see this in action, just take a look at our politicians in Washington D.C. This is the classic hold and maintain power at all cost mentality, and the result is what we have going on right now—ineffective governance. Okay, that is my one political statement, and if I attempt to do it again, you have my permission to kick my ass.

The knowledge I am speaking about here is a knowledge of who you are, who brought you here, and more importantly, why you are here. I have written several books about this subject, and to be honest, there has not been a book that I have written that does not cover this in one form or another. I guess it would be safe to assume that I would be covering it again, however brief that is, in this book. I have observed so many people who are walking around in a total fog as to their purpose here on earth. The idea that you were created just to take up space or because your parents wanted children is lunacy. I have no doubt that your parents wanted children, but to think that there is not a higher power who has orchestrated all of this is equally as insane.

Now, I am not here to argue the existence of a higher power. You have the right to believe whatever you want, and there really is little that I can say that is going to change your opinion one way or the other. I happen to believe in a Creator. You can place any name for this entity that you would like, for ease of operation, I will call this entity God. I believe that God created everything. If the object is of natural matter, it was created by God. If the object is man-made, then the idea for that object was placed in someone by God. No matter how you look at it, God has had something to do with everything that has ever been created and everything that will be created in the future. I would offer up a challenge for anyone to question this, but then I would get some freakazoid who’d send me countless e-mails and messages wishing to debate the issue. I can assure you: I have no desire to partake in that type of conversation.

My point in all of this is to say that your being here is not a mistake. Sure, there are times when we as humans question our existence—why here, why now? Face it, that is as human as human can be. We all have had doubts about things in our life. Quite frankly, if you haven’t experienced doubt, I’m not so sure you could be classified as a human being. That being said, doubt only happens because you don’t have true knowledge of something. There is a saying, before a man can wake up and find himself famous, he has to wake up and find himself. Herein lies the basis for most people’s problems in the world: they do not have a clear picture of the importance of their own existence. Some people go through life just figuring that what comes just comes, and there isn’t a whole lot that they can do to change the course of events.

Socrates said two simple words once, Know thyself. So simple and yet so profound. This is the knowledge that I am talking about: knowing who you are and what you are. Once you have a handle on this, there is virtually nothing that you cannot accomplish in this world. The question I hear most from those who are searching out the higher meaning of life is How do I know myself? This question has baffled the minds of many people for years. Funny thing, we think we know, but in reality very few people ever discover who they really are, let alone accept who they are. Without a complete knowledge of who you are, it is impossible to achieve the things in life that you were destined to achieve. Oh sure, you may have a modicum of success, but if you could look at two simultaneous films of your life: one with a complete knowledge of who you are and the other based solely on what you feel or think, the outcome would astound you. Simply put, one film is based on truth, while the other is based on perception. Knowing which one to follow, now that’s the quandary. Perception can be mixed with emotions, feelings, and often conflict. Truth, on the other hand, is just that: truth, non-negotiable, unadulterated, unchangeable. To know you is to love you, to love you is to accept you, to accept you is to realize the perfection of your design and why you were placed here in the first place.

If everyone in the world had a complete understanding of who and what they are, we could rid this planet of every blight there ever was and ever will be, and then we might finally obtain world peace. I do believe that world peace is achievable—not probable at this point in time, but the optimist in me still thinks it’s possible. There are many reasons why people have not come to a complete understanding of who and what they are, the primary being the conditioning of man in our lives. Man’s concept of life is: you are born, you live so many years, and then you die. It’s hard to argue that fact on the surface of things, but that is the problem. We have looked at things only from a so-called surface point of view. Our being is so much greater than what others have portrayed us to be. The average person has been brought up to think that one must go through lack, because not having what you need is a character builder. Others will say that sickness is a way to try one’s faith, and in that, your faith is built up so that you might really tackle the harder problems of life.

I have heard so many people in the past claim that they were suffering for Jesus, as if Christ really needed you to suffer for Him. There is so much crap out in the streets today in regards to what we as humans are supposed to go through that I am amazed any of us have lived past the age of five.

Let’s set the record straight for just a minute. You may even pick up on a few things, and these few things may be the catalyst for change that almost everyone needs in this world.

Number One: God does not know of things that are contrary to His eternal nature. When I say know of things, I mean they do not come from Him. His nature is peace, joy, happiness, love, contentment, and the like. If God was a god who created hate, discontent, fear, greed, and the like, then He would be creating things that were the opposite of His nature, and then His omnipotence would be in question, and He would have to be pitted against Himself, in which case, He would not be God.

I can see the heads spinning already, but if you have fallen for the load of crap that man says you have to go through, then maybe you should really think about what you just read and take it to heart. We were not created to live with lack. We were not created to live with sickness. We definitely were not created to walk around in fear, sadness, or even anxiety. We blame God for a lot of things, that in reality, we have created ourselves, and in most cases don’t even realize it.

Number Two: God does not sit up in some celestial kingdom waiting to throw a lightning bolt down on you simply because you messed up. The idea that God is some tyrant who requires absolute obedience—and that anything shy of this is going to doom you to the Pits of Hell—is stupid. Certainly there are things that man does that is contrary to God’s nature, but God or no God, killing something, hurting something, or destroying something just for the sake of it, is just plain wrong. I am convinced that all the things listed in Scripture and sacred text is something that may have been inspired by God, but ultimately, it was written by man, a human being mind you, who is just as fallible as you and I.

When each of us gets to the point in our lives when we understand that we are deity, and we can accept the fact that our creation was perfect because we were created by perfection, then and only then will we begin to grasp the knowledge I am speaking about. I have seen more people than I can shake a stick at who haven’t the foggiest notion of just how significant their being here is. If you asked a million people if they believe that they have the ability to do the things that Jesus Christ did, a vast majority would look at you like you had two heads. There are many who can quote the Bible backwards and forwards, but quoting something is not living something. Christ Himself said that we would all do greater things than He. The question that arises is this: why have we not done it then? Why is there still sickness in the world? Why is there poverty? Why bigotry, intolerance, and hatred? None of these things were exhibited by Christ, and yet we still see it every day. I am not here to debate theology, and I am not here to say if what you believe is right or wrong. What I am attempting to do is get you to think just a little differently, and in those new thoughts, open up a completely different path for your life that, until now, maybe has been unknown to you. I do believe that knowledge is power, but that knowledge is coming to a complete understanding of the significance of your total being, and just what is possible when you come to that knowledge.

For a moment, just imagine your life void of sickness, lack, depression, fear and strife. How much different would things be if that never crept into your life again? A life full of these things is really no life at all. Now imagine a life where the only experiences you had were surrounded with peace, joy, happiness, and love. My simple question to you is which of the above scenarios would you prefer to walk around in? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that a life that is based on the true nature of God is really the only alternative one should choose.

That being said, how many people do you know who walk around in this type of enlightenment? Over the centuries, there have been mere mortals who have achieved this heaven on earth. If it was good enough for them, then why would it not be good enough for you? Allen Cornelius Johnson said, People often remain in the dark, not due to lack of light, but of failure to open their eyes. Open your eyes, people, and realize you have within you the capacity to be an enlightened being. It does not take a magical spell, elixir, or potion. It does not require you to give up your soul, your mind, or even your heart. It only requires that you know who and what you are; then and only then will you be able to step into the things that you were destined to step into during this lifetime.

Knowledge is power. Obtaining the knowledge about your origin and accepting the greatness that was placed in you is the only way to obtain the kind of power that will truly change the world. Power is not there to lord over people, but rather to enlighten them to the same degree of your enlightenment. When the world can grasp hold of this truth, we will be well on our way to improving the lives of every single person walking this planet. It is your decision to make. Will you accept the old thoughts that drive people to only think of themselves, or will you look out toward the horizon and realize that there is a world out there that needs what you have and without you it cannot move forward? Think about that for a moment and then make a choice.

CHAPTER 2

Rules Were Meant to Be Broken

Freedom is actually a bigger game than power. Power is about what you can control. Freedom is about what you can unleash.

- Harriet Rubin

I will be the first to admit that I am somewhat of a radical. Not a radical in the sense that I want to take something over by force, but I am not one to blindly accept the so-called status quo. The status quo has done more to limit and ultimately stop progress than pretty much anything else I can think of. God help the poor innocent soul who tells me that the reason we do something a certain way is because we have always done it that way. Oh, my God, I just may go into launch mode when I hear that. In the event that you believe me to be a total ass for my comments about being radical and not liking to follow or to break rules, let me say this: I do believe rules have a place, but everything is best in moderation, and there are times when rules have run amok.

Now, there are rules that exist for a reason—like OSHA or the USDA—but there are also rules that hinder man’s progress. Many of these rules stop the free flow of thought, stifle the creative process, and in many cases, create a forced caste system. By caste system, I mean the difference between management and labor. Most of these rules seem to benefit management more than labor. I can already hear the whispers from those higher-ups who think me a fool.

Some people follow rules to the T with zero deviation, while others break all the rules without any concern for anything. Both of these are to the extreme and, quite frankly, are not good for anyone or anything. What I am about to share with you is a lesson I learned—or maybe was taught some time ago—and it has helped me over the years. I am sure it will help you as well. If nothing else, it will entertain you as you try to figure out ways to put these thoughts into action. Following my advice may just drive a few control freaks nuts, which is just an added bonus.

I don’t hate rules because I think I am better than anyone or above the rules. On the contrary, I just like the flow of the moment and, quite frankly, too many rules never allow for that. Rules, as I said a little earlier, stop the creative process because it is often contrary to what is in place at the moment. Rules box people in and lock them into actions that may have made sense years ago, but should be Dodo-Bird extinct a long time ago. Rules, for the most part, do not allow people to unleash their full potential because certain rules and laws are in place that restrict them, and they are as archaic as the bow and arrow for fighting battles.

I’ve never hated a rule quite like the rule that productivity is getting as much stuff done as possible. Sure, you can be productive by crossing things off a to-do list, but have you ever thought of staying in bed as productivity? Because it can be. When you choose to stay in bed instead of programming yourself to get as much stuff done in a day, you open yourself up to maybe finding new ways to get stuff done. Maybe you’ll realize it’s time for a career change, or maybe just a schedule change. It doesn’t have to be drastic. Breaking societal rules can reap small rewards that add up to the bigger picture of your full potential.

Many of these old rules are still in place because: (1) someone wants to hold on to the pride that goes along with the fact that they created them, or (2) someone is not brave enough to challenge the silly rule. No matter how you look at it, many rules need to go to the junk heap and left there to rot.

There are several rules or laws that were never meant to be broken, and honestly are almost impossible to break.

When it comes to breaking rules, there are generally two ways of doing it. The first way, and I am not advocating this in the slightest, is to break rules spitefully. This is when you really don’t care about anything else or anyone else but yourself. My skirting of the rules is generally because I am trying to help someone out of a jam, or just trying to correct a real screwed-up situation. Those that break the rules for spite are idiots. The second way of breaking rules, my preferred method, is with diligence and forethought. I generally use this approach when I am faced with a situation that has been limited by current rules, but there really needs to be a change. I break rules to prove that things can be done better, and we don’t need these limiting factors in place simply because they have been in place forever.

I am a Big Picture type of person. I see big things, I have big ideas, and I live for big visions. It’s not because I am any better than anyone else, but that is how God made me. I hate getting wrapped up in the small details. It’s not because the small details are below me; I mostly just suck at them. I would much rather pay someone to do them for me because then I know they will get it done right. As a big-picture type of person, I think rules get in the way more often than not. These rules do nothing to improve situations. In fact, the only thing they do is limit people from obtaining their full potential.

I hate the rule There’s always something to do. Words echoed by so many managers and supervisors. They echo these rules because their higher-ups are echoing these rules. It doesn’t matter that you may have just spent the last six or seven hours non-stop. You still have an hour left in your shift, so you better keep busy doing busy work. Give me a break! Some people will simply slow down and take eight hours instead of six or seven. Now that’s a sure way to decreasing productivity, wouldn’t you say?

I happen to believe that there are people out there who put rules in place for that very reason—they are threatened by others’ abilities, and this is the only way they have of limiting what they are allowed to do. I know that must sound harsh, but I will bet you dimes to donuts you know people who do this, and it probably drives you just as mad as it drives me. I have been known to tell people that no rules apply to me, and although I am joking most of the time, there is an element of truth in what I am saying. I think some people put rules in place just because they want to be the Cock of the Walk or mark their territory. I’m not saying this is right or wrong, I’m just saying it happens, and most of the time, these rules are not thought out and cause more harm than good. These types of rules bind people up and do very little to really help the overall operation or assist anyone in doing a better job.

In my opinion, the ability to break certain rules takes maturity and intelligence. Breaking rules just for sake of getting away with something is stupid, and in the long run, it will cost you far more than you will gain. As I have said before, many rules have zero merit to them. They bind people up and do nothing to assist in getting anything done; on the contrary, they end up making a bigger mess out of a mess that is already present. Many rules are in place to control people, and I don’t mean people’s action necessarily, but people in general. Keep them in tow so as not to muddy up the waters or cause a ripple effect. In truth, it doesn’t have to be this way, and the sooner some of these rule-makers figures this out, the better it will be for everyone.

I love what Thomas Edison said about rules: Hell, there are no rules here—we’re trying to accomplish something. This is the truth, and believe you me, the truth will set you free. Rules have so limited us as a society, and until we realize that most of them are brought on by fear, or insecurity, we will continue to have to contend with the idiocy of it all. Robert A. Heinlein, often referred to as the dean of science fiction writing was quoted: I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do. What Mr. Heinlein is saying is that we need to take each rule, look at it, study it, and with our own knowledge and experience, decide if it has merit or not. If it has merit, follow it; if it does not, then break it. More often than not, rules that have no merit are, as Heinlein says, obnoxious. We have all run into rules like this, but far too often, we let them stand, and we do not take a personal stand to get rid of them. How many times have you taken a stand against something only to find out that others around you felt the same way, but never took the action you did? You ended up being a hero for standing up for what was right. When you are faced with rules that have zero merit and are only there because someone has not been brave enough to get rid of them, then you get rid of them.

I want you to know that being obstinate just for the sake of making yourself look important or to make others look bad is not the recommended way of operating. There are some rules that need to be in place because they do in fact help protect others. There are rules in place to keep things legal and above board. It is not wise to go after these. The other rules that have been in place, where no one knows their origin or why they are still there, these are the rules that will someday hinder forward progress, and these are the rules that need to be broken. Use wisdom and sound judgment so that when you are going after the gorilla in the room, you will not look like a jackass for doing it. I love to break rules, but there is a reason. This reason is not to bring glory to me, but rather to help others achieve a certain amount of glory in their lives. Being a contrarian just to prove that you may be smarter than the next guy is dumb. There are plenty of people out there who will do this; don’t add your name to the list.

CHAPTER 3

If It’s Worth Doing, It’s Worth Doing Right

If your efforts are sometimes greeted with indifference, don’t lose heart. The sun puts on a wonderful show at daybreak, yet most of the people in the audience go on sleeping.

- Ada Teixeira

W hy are you doing what you are doing? What is the motivation for your undertakings? What do you hope to gain or achieve? Is what you are doing part of a bigger plan or goal? Are you doing what you are doing for you or for someone else? We cover these and other questions on the next edition of 60 Minutes. Okay stupid and corney, but seriously, in this chapter, I want to delve into the many mysteries as to why people sometimes put out effort and why, at other times, they do not. I will readily admit there have been times in my life when I didn’t care about completing a task. Most of the time, it was because what I was doing was not interesting to me and I would rather be doing something else. Other times, I just didn’t have it in me to do. There are countless reasons why people will give less than 100 percent when attempting to complete a task or mission. I’m not here to say whether they were right or wrong; what I want to do is spell out what happens when we fail to do our best, or when we don’t care to put in our best eff orts.

There is an old saying that says that the only thing that comes without effort is old age. I tend to agree with this statement, so stop the presses. Even I can agree with certain things from time to time, especially when they make sense. There is not a thing that gets accomplished in this world without good ‘ol hard work and effort. Now there are some tasks that take very little effort, and others require that Herculean force that comes to us from whence we do not know. Either way, you control the effort you put into every task, and with every task, you will display just what you think about the thing you are trying to accomplish.

The attitude one displays is often in direct correlation to the degree of desire for the outcome of a task, or the purpose behind the task in the first place. Just what is the motivation behind what you are trying to do? If what you are doing is for your own glory, then I dare say that you will probably do whatever it takes to get the task done, because, after all, your reputation is at stake, and God forbid you should look less than perfect to anyone who might come in contact with you. The sad part about those who worry about what others think is that they will normally steamroll over anyone who gets in their way, especially if getting in the way will in any way dampen the end result.

If, on the other hand, your goal is to better others or help someone else, then the question I have is how badly do you want to help them? If the desired outcome is a big enough desire, then will you give all you have and then some? In reality, it always comes back to the motivation of why you are doing something.

There are very few things that I do that only benefit me. I am the type who desires to put other’s needs ahead of my own, not because I want to be recognized for it, but rather because people deserve to receive kindness from time to time simply because they are human beings. My mindset has evolved over the years, and it needed to. There was a time where I was self-centered, and if it didn’t benefit me, it wasn’t going to happen. Not proud to admit that, but sooner or later the truth always comes out, so might as well face it and get it over with. I really didn’t care who I had to run over to get things done, and if you tried to take credit for something I either did, or thought of, God help you for even thinking about it.

It took me some time to understand the difference between selfishness and selflessness, and unfortunately, there are still many people out there who have yet to figure this out. If one is selfish more often than not, shortcuts will be taken to accomplish something because you want the instant gratification. Your needs are fulfilled because you have garnered the adulation of others because of your great and mighty deed or task. It didn’t matter if you helped someone; what mattered was you getting your fifteen minutes of fame. Selflessness, on the other hand—well, that is a horse of a different color. When someone operates out of selflessness, most of the time, they desire to be the best because their best is being offered to someone else and not themselves. You desire to do your best or be your best because others deserve the best results.

I can remember one Christmas, many years ago. I was living in Shreveport, Louisiana, and I had friends who were having a very difficult time financially. They had three adorable young kids, and for all intents and purposes, they were going to have a very sparse Christmas. Having spent time with them over the previous months, I knew that the only real enjoyment they had was renting and watching videos. This should give you an idea how many years ago this was! They had played those movies and that machine so much that it literally gave up the ghost. There was no way they could afford a new one, let alone get this one repaired. There happened to be a sale on them at the time—no big surprise during the Christmas shopping season. The format at the time was VHS, which was relatively new, so the cost associated with getting a new machine was pretty high. These days, you could probably go to the Dollar Store and pick one up. Well, not really, since it is all DVDs now, but you get my point.

I went to the store and bought one of the nicest ones out there with all the bells and whistles. As I was wrapping it up with all the other things we had picked up for the kids—jeans, underwear, dresses, you name it, they were going to have a great Christmas. Anyway.