WHAT IF

By Ryan Kraut

"What If" is a poetry book that goes through my darkest moments in my mind when it comes to my depression and suicide, showing how personal the battle is. The fight and struggle every single day while still trying to find a purpose in life while questioning everything.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tablo Publishing
• Release date: Sep 17, 2021
• ISBN: 9781649699800

Book preview

Feel

You got the cola mixed with the vodka and the pills don’t feel the same

I lie to myself everyday saying that I am great

I cry every night trying to erase this pain inside my brain

I wake up every morning shirt drenched in sweat, am I the one to blame?

Can feel the blood running through my veins, pain in my neck

An overdose, a suicidal note, a neck through the rope, this is the mindset that I am in

I mean it’s not like I’ll be missed, they don’t even notice the slits on my wrists or what I’ve gone through in my past

I’ll just go to work with a smile on my face, pretend, not sure how long it will last

Trying not to crash, take caffeine to stay awake 

1 pill, 2 pill, no longer working, running out of gas

Not in my feelings, just in deep thought yet it’s my feelings that get me