Breaking Free: From Rejection and Betrayal to Forgiveness and Healing

By Delon Radebaugh

"Dr. Delon Radebaugh speaks truths in realistic, nontraditional fashions. In engaging palatable modes, she seizes the truths we all avoid, cultivates the truths we all ignore, and presents the truths we all crave."   Evangelist Venita O'Hara

Have those closest to you turned and walked away?

Have you experienced intimate betrayal?

Have you watched your self-worth steadily decline?

Are you still bleeding from wounds of the past?

Have you struggled to forgive?

Are you asking, "Why?"

"Why did they hurt me?"

"Why did he leave me?"

"Why am I not enough?"

"Why should I forgive?"

 

A realistic path to transformation in this raw dialogue examining the emotional devastation of rejection and betrayal. Dr. Radebaugh assembles a brave circle of women sharing their bloody pain and emerging victoriously. Together they offer compassionate and honest insight for women who are battling distress and damage to faciliate a triumphant journey to healing and freedom.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Delon Radebaugh
• Release date: Sep 27, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201012229

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

Forgive To Live! Dr. Delon Radebaugh

Women spend millions of dollars every year trying to better themselves. The cosmetic industry is bursting with new products proclaiming to defy the aging process, diminish the appearance of wrinkles, smooth frown lines, and fade age spots. They are marketing as much to the young woman as the woman with a few more days behind her. They recognize that though there is an age difference between the two cohorts, the underlying concerns are the same. Both are trying to live a better life by fighting the effects of just living day-to-day. Obviously, this book is not about how to hide your beauty marks or how to make your lips pouty, but it does speak to women of all ages. Betrayal and rejection are common threads in the lives of women, young and old. They share the pain and the fear of forgiveness. Much like the beauty products, this book will help you treat the deep wrinkles of unforgiveness and restore healing.

Delon Who?

What do I know about rejection and betrayal? More than I ever wanted to know. I wish I never had to know, or at least could have waited until I was a mature woman to find out, but that is not my story. My exposure to rejection became clear to me as an elementary school-aged girl, but looking back, it started much earlier. It started the day that my father placed me in a shoebox, yep, a shoebox, and carried me over to his sister’s home. When she opened the door, there stood her 6’4" skinny brother, barely in his twenties, holding a covered shoebox with a life in it. She said the box was trembling on its own despite his large secure hands. When he handed it to her, she saw that the box had air holes, and frantically, she snatched the lid off. There I was. At first glance he looks like a hero, but after that day, he turned his back on me. I wasn’t important to him anymore. He had found me a home, and his work was done.

After many years of trying to sort out how I came to be who I came to be, I realized that I was a mess. I wasn’t just the black sheep of the family; I was the invisible sheep. I never felt like I belonged to my family the way love makes you belong. I was a burden, instead. I was the job that no one applied for but had to accept. I spent several years fighting myself until the seed of forgiveness was planted, as I sat at my mother’s deathbed. In this book, I will share my confusion, deep-rooted anger, and brokenness, but I will also share my triumph over the pain of it all. Several women have come together in this book to pull the covers off their pain. Their willingness to expose raw agony and humiliation is a testament to their strength and determination to be whole again.

If you have suffered rejection and betrayal, but you feel stuck, this book is for you. If you get sick to your stomach just thinking about what happened to you, and you’re still reliving the pain over and over, this book is for you. You may feel you will never get on with your life, I’m y to tell you that you don’t have to stay in the place you’re in.

After soul searching, being angry, and searching again, I eventually realized that I needed to get free. Some days, I could barely think of anything except being thrown away. I worked, worshipped, and raised my children, but I was hiding the pain. I just didn’t know how to get over it. I am not going to tell you to get over it, I am going to tell you to get free!

Free, How?

I will tell you upfront, breaking free requires forgiveness. It’s not what we like to hear, but it is the key that unlocks your healing. It’s important to know this book will confront the blinding cocktail of emotions that have taken over your life. In chapter 1, we will discuss the connection between healing and forgiveness. Forgiveness is important in achieving healthy living, but you must recognize that forgiveness is bloody. What you are feeling right now is proof! In chapters 2 and 3, we will clearly define rejection and betrayal. They aren’t as clear-cut as you may think. Rejection comes in many ways, such as exclusion, abandonment, and targeted gossip. Though betrayal isn’t always the sickening act of cheating, it is dehumanizing in any form.

In chapter 4, we will identify the source of your rejection by looking at family interactions, relationship exchanges, career dynamics, and church relations. Pinpointing where the rejection occurred, helps you focus on the path to healing. After getting to the bottom line, you can deal with the heart of the matter more effectively. Now that you understand the how, you can deal with the why, also in chapter 4.

Remember the sick feeling in the pit of your gut? In chapter 5, we will talk about the effects rejection and betrayal have had on you. We experience both physical pain and emotional distress when we’ve suffered heartache. Chapter 6 gets to the meat of unforgiveness. Do you know what forgiveness really looks like? Maybe you’re reading this book to confirm you have forgiven. You will know for sure after this chapter.

Chapter 7 makes it clear what happens if you don’t forgive. Stagnation, projection, and internal bleeding is no way to live. Chapter 8 is Mirror, Mirror. Here, you will face the person in the mirror. Have you forgiven yourself? It’s a crucial step that you cannot skip if you want to be healthy again. Plenty of books will tell you to forgive but forget to tell you how. In chapter 9, I will lay out the F.I.T. (forgive, intentional, thrive) strategy you’ve been waiting for.

Now that you have learned how to forgive, what about reconciliation? I’ll bet you’re already thinking, Do I have to deal with them? In chapter 10, find out the two questions you must ask first.

Finally, Chapter 11 is all about living your best life! Learn how to complete the FIT challenge and be whole again. Take hold of forgiveness and healing and break free! Let’s do it.

CHAPTER 1

Forgiveness Ain’t Pretty:

Connecting Forgiveness and Healing

An envious heart makes a treacherous ear. Zora Neale Hurston

Forgive (verb): stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for offense, flaw, or mistake.

Heal (verb): cause to become sound or healthy again.

Healing

Regaining your health can be an imposing goal when you are emotionally injured. Transgressions against you can trick your mind into believing that you will not recover. Anger, bitterness, regret, and doubt can dominate your thoughts, leaving little room for healing. To combat those things, you must be intentional about getting better. If your leg was broken in a car accident, you would not accept the result of never walking again. Your mind would reject that because you would realize it is only a broken leg, and with