Unlocking Their Inner Treasure: Connecting to the Hearts of Children with Trauma

By Bettye Lynch Gallien

Maybe Mom didn't really want me, and this was her way of getting rid of me. I became extremely unhappy, unfocused, and I had thoughts to do anything I needed to do to go home. I was desperate, so I came up with a plan to get myself out of there.

I was alread

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Nov 23, 2021
• ISBN: 9781637696774

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Unlocking Their Inner Treasure

Connecting to Children With Trauma

No more secrets! No more secrets! No more secrets! My truth can be told without mistreatment or fear. Now a safe and secure place where I can live my life years like a child that is happy, carefree, and dear.

Bettye L. Gallien

Trilogy Christian Publishers

TUSTIN, CA

Trilogy Christian Publishers

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive

Tustin, CA 92780

Copyright © 2021 by Bettye L. Gallien

Unless otherwise indicated, all scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.TM Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com.

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Cover design by: Jeff Summers

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Intake ID 126531941 © Casimirokt | Dreamstime.com

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Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Manufactured in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN: 978-1-63769-676-7

E-ISBN: 978-1-63769-677-4

Contents

Dedication v

Acknowledgements vi

Preface viii

Introduction xiii

Family 1

Why Foster Care 10

Intake 15

Observation 31

Emotions 42

Social Behavior Syndromes 53

Transitioning 80

Types of Services 84

Epilogue 88

Endnotes 95

Dedication

This book is dedicated to our adoptive families, foster families, and other caregivers for all their hard work, unselfish and dedicated love. A special heartfelt thanks to all of you that open your hearts and homes to minister to God’s children. Our destinies are shared in the writing of this book, in our deeds, our thoughts, and our actions, as we embrace the spirit of Jesus who said, Suffer the little children and forbid them not, to come unto me.

Acknowledgements

To my husband, Andrew, the encourager, who taught our children the Word, and they received salvation and the gift of eternal life. In memory of our believing friend Rose Gordon and our loving son Aaron Daniels, who are home with Jesus. Our oldest son and his wife, the loving and caring parents to our grandchildren. Our supportive Judge Cynthia Clay Guillory, for your kind blessings at all times. Our spiritual parents, Pastor Michael & Tina Honore, who keep us on the right path along with our inspiring church family’s prayers and support. Our villagers Rodney, Bonnie, Zoe, and Mya Waguespack. Insightful foster parents and friends Jeffrey & Michelle Ferguson, Wilbert & Carolyn Mitchell. Our spiritual children Michael Lewis, Aurea Gordon, Tammy Smith, and others. My adorable praying sisters and helpful brothers: Elton and Esther Davidson, Bobbie Thompson, Rufus and Joanne Joseph, and Charles and Glenda Froe. My resourceful brothers, Roy, John, and Rufus Lynch. To my parents, Robert and Eddie Lee Lynch, who loved us dearly. To our foster care community of DCFS and LMCH staff for their guidance and love showed to us and the many wonderful children who came to our home DW, KS, SH, LB, CG, TR, BS, DB, TJ, JM, AM, DG, NH, KL, and so many others we’ve mentored.

Preface

Were you that child that was an attentive audience when your family shared their stories of childhood experiences and insights? I have always been interested in other’s experiences, especially when they included their age, dates, and time frame where I could measure my own level of maturity. In my head, I would record their information on my road map as part of my journey. As I’ve matured, so have my curiosity, but I just listen, record, and catalog information in a different way. When a television speaker said whatever your work has been while you are alive, you need to leave a legacy of your experiences and wisdom for the next generation. If that wasn’t thought-provoking enough, later, on that same day, another speaker had similar words of wisdom on the same topic. He was referring to the two dates that are most important in our life: our birthday and death date, which he called our sunrise and sunset. That little dash between those two dates is your life span, and it should make a statement about who you are, what you’ve done for others, and it should speak to the content of your character. Their words took root in my heart. After thinking about what they spoke, I couldn’t recall one single contribution that I’ve made that would be of interest to anyone else. I have never been a candidate for the Nobel Peace Prize. I have no inventions or life-saving systems to change the needs of the world. I wasn’t given any awards for heroism or feats of bravery. I’m just a normal person like everyone else. If I had to write my bio, it would begin: I am a daughter, sister, wife, and mother. Yet, many of our attributes have come from our gift of being women and mothers. Motherhood is the one contribution we take for granted and place little value on. But being an alternative mother figure to many other children changed my perspective to accept motherhood as a gift from God. It was so natural to take our own biological children with love, but it’s in our nurturing of others that we experience our greatest rewards.

My moment happened when a program director with the Choice’s program asks me to share some of our counseling experiences with a group of her office personnel. I refused several times, but she was persistent. Looking for some information to share, I gazed at a picture of this little bear and was lost in thought while reflecting on those special motherhood moments when we prepare for that blessed day, buying all those small beautiful clothes and toys to decorate the