God in My Fire

By LeAnn Badger

This book tells my testimony of how GOD breathed life where there was death from the infidelity in our marriage. This book talks about the ups and downs from dealing with that, and how GOD still moves in our lives, how HE breaks through our darkness, and how HE stands with us in our fire.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Sep 20, 2021
• ISBN: 9781664244436

LeAnn Badger

LeAnn Badger still currently lives in Indiana with her family; which is changing as they get older! She has an Associate’s degree and is a CST and has been in that field for over fifteen years. She is a certified mentor and hosts a women’s conference. She likes being outdoors kayaking, swimming, and playing paintball, and she loves spending time with her family.

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Copyright © 2021 LeAnn Badger.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

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Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

844-714-3454

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-6642-4442-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-4441-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-4443-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021918305

WestBow Press rev. date: 9/17/2021

Contents

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1 Her Side (Which is Always the Right Side!)

Chapter 2 His Side

Chapter 3 Our Healing as a Family

Chapter 4 My Healing

Chapter 5 Mental Illness

Chapter 6 GOD’s Plans for You

Chapter 7 Continuing the Healing

Chapter 8 The Enemy

Chapter 9 Guilt

Chapter 10 Getting Help

Chapter 11 Staying Together

Chapter 12 Working on Yourself

The End

References

Acknowledgements

I thank GOD for giving me the opportunity and passion to share HIS power and grace with others. My testimony is HIS love. I thank GOD for allowing me to tell you about my very own miracle and testimony that I have been blessed with. I want to thank the women who supported me in this and I am so grateful for them. It feels good to have those special women in my life, the ones that make me feel that they will be there when I walk out in faith. They meet with me, spend hours talking to me, texting me, and even read all of my material to give me feedback. These women are amazing mentors! Thank you ladies for meeting with me and giving me honest criticism, and if you read this, you can see that I took it to heart and made those changes. Your mentorship means a lot to me and many others. Thank you for taking the time to read the rough draft, and you made me feel like this book was going to help other women, which is the best compliment you could have ever given me. Your heart for the LORD shines through you and in your work.

Thank you for being the friend that will always go the extra mile for me in my endeavors. It always makes me feel so blessed to have you in my life, for I know that you will roll up your sleeves and help me in whatever wild and spontaneous thing I feel GOD is leading me to do. GOD has gifted you with service and I am honored that you help me and have a heart for the LORD in whatever HE wants you to help do. My heart was touched when you told me you pulled out your pen to start looking for errors whether it be grammatical or in context. You never shy away from hard work and I always know what a good friend that you are because you show it every day. Thank you for sitting with me on your porch and being the women’s minister that you are. You have always ministered to me with such wisdom that I know is from the HOLY SPIRIT. I will never forget when all of this happened, you looked at me with great compassion, but something more than that. You looked at me with insight, like the HOLY SPIRIT was speaking truth into you, and you in return, were pouring that back into me. You then told me a story that I will never forget about a married couple whose husband cheated and left the family, and how they got back together years later. I did not understand then, but I do now. Thank you for listening and praying to GOD and getting discernment, that is why you are such a good women’s ministry leader.

A big thank you to my small group who joined us in our lives, supported us, loved us, and walked with us through this. You exemplify what christianity is all about. You sat with me so I would not feel alone, you were our friends and helped us walk through this terrible ordeal. You took time out of your lives, you invested yourselves emotionally, and you are what it is like to be an example of CHRIST. Thank you all in our small group who walked beside me during the worst time of my life and I could never say how much that meant to me. Even the men came beside a hurting family and spent hours working on my van for free because you knew the situation that I was in. If that is not a CHRIST like, then I do not know what is. I can recall how kind you were to my husband when he came back. He was afraid of how he would be treated, but he was only treated with love and kindness. He was shown the love of CHRIST by you all. I want to thank my women’s bible study. WOW! You ladies stopped bible study and hugged me, prayed with me, and cried with me. You took the time to stop and sit beside me during the deepest time in my sorrow. You did not have someone take me out in the hall, or have someone go get someone else. No, you gathered around me, held me, cried with me, supported me, and lived that pain with me. There is no bigger love than that.

I want to thank my friends who hung out with me and supported me during one of the worst times in my life. You made special efforts to help me and I want you to know how much I appreciate that.

I want to thank the women around me for talking to me, telling me their stories to help me through this. Each and every one of you, shared a piece of you that the rest of the world did not know. You allowed yourself to be vulnerable in order to help me, thank you. I am surrounded by strong, powerful women, who blessed me with their own stories and their own walk and journey they had down this same road. I want to thank my daughter and mom for supporting me in doing this. Neither one of you back down or waiver in your support, but you always support me with a love that is fierce. It is a powerful kind of love that let’s me know it will never go anywhere no matter what the circumstances.

I want to thank my husband for so many things. Thank you for being humble and allowing me to do this. Thank you for not only being okay with this book, but supporting and encouraging me to do it. I am so proud of the man of GOD that you have become and all of the hard work that you have done. Not many women get to sit where I sit, and have the ending that I do, and that is because of the love that GOD has for you as well. You accepted HIS love, wanted it, and because of that desire in you now have for GOD, our marriage has an ending that most do not get to have.

Introduction

This new book is different from my first, GOD’s Love, and yet, so close to my heart. GOD has walked me through yet another journey that I want to share with you. I pray that it helps or encourages you in some way. Even if it is to let you know you are not alone, to inspire you, or to prompt you to reach out to others, to be a branch to someone else.

My journey is not over—I am still going through it. But I want to share what I have walked through so far. In the first book I wrote, I told you how my husband was the man that showed me what love was, and gave me a glimpse at what GOD’S love must look like. Now, I have shown him what love looks like, and GOD has shown us. HE tied this journey together like a piece of string through a blanket, weaving it in and out, until it’s completion. I cannot wait until I get to heaven to be able to see the journey as a whole, and not in pieces, or as my perception.

GOD has shown me so much, and reiterated and reinforced HIS love for me despite me sometimes questioning it, despite me being angry at HIM, despite me resenting HIM for feeling like HE allowed all of these bad things to happen, or despite feeling like HE allowed so much to happen in my life overall. HE has stood there over and over and wrapped HIS arms around me, and just held me as I cried, as I kicked, as I began to fully understand HIS love for me, and that HE never went anywhere, but was right there with me.

HIS love for me has withstood time and drawn me closer to HIM. HE has stood with me in the moment of all of my storms. I love actual storms—the loud thunder, the awesome lightning, and the peaceful rhythm of how the rain sounds. I do not enjoy my personal storms, but I do love how HE stands with me through these storms. How HE sends me rhythmical rain when my storm has caused a drought in my life. How HE talks to me and HIS voice is like the thunder. How HE gives me lightning so I can see in the moment of darkness.

I have had so many storms in my personal life, which I do not love. But I have a big GOD who weathers through them with me. HE is my shelter during and through these storms; and yes, the thunder shakes my chest, the cold rain gives me chills down to the bone, and the lightning has gotten intense. But the hope that I have been given because of GOD’S love is everlasting, and not only is it everlasting, it is and has been just what I need when I need it.

GOD’S love is like no other. It reaches down into crevices that are so deep in the ravines of our hearts. HIS love renews and regenerates places in our hearts that we thought were too hard or couldn’t be reached. HE wipes the old clean, leaving us with new.

When we experience HIS love this way, we realize that we are a treasure. That HE loves us without an agenda. HE doesn’t gain anything from loving us. It is that pure love that is selfless, and an unconditional love that motivates, inspires, encourages, and builds us up. We never have to question or doubt HIS love, for it is pure. Not as the world deems something pure, but a deeper purity that neither we, nor the world know or recognize unless we have a relationship with HIM.

GOD also gives us a hope that we cannot get anywhere else. The hope that the world gives is tangible. It can be taken away at any moment. GOD’s version is constant, weathering through the ups and downs of life, all domains and principalities. On this hope, we anchor our faith. It keeps us from moving even an inch because we have seen this love in action. Because of the power of HIS love, we have a supernatural hope that only comes from GOD. A peace that only comes from HIM.

I say all of this, not only because it’s true, but also because when you have dealt with horrible circumstances like infidelity, which is the main topic of this book, then you know the greatness of HIS love. Infidelity is a very hard topic to deal with. It is one of the hardest things that has happened to me, and I have had a lot happen to me. It can cause PTSD, and it can take a long time to recover.

The healing process is slow, and yet it happens every day. Infidelity, adultery, whatever word you