Shatter Self-Limiting Beliefs

By Goran Radanovic

In this autobiographical self-help book, Goran takes you with him on the journey of his total transformation from a socially inept, frightened young man into an ambitious and successful person.

The recipe is deceptively simple – change your beliefs and your life will change. You'll find out the origins of beliefs, identify your current beliefs and learn how to change them. You'll move away from social conditioning and into the zone of free choice. His intimate knowledge and first-hand experiences will help you find the path to your own transformation. Through a series of examples and real-life exercises, you will come to live the life you want to live.

Your relationship to yourself and others, your finances, your health and fitness, and your ability to find and sustain a quality primary relationship, are a direct reflection of what you believe right now. The book you're holding in your hands can help you change all that.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Goran Radanovic
• Release date: Sep 10, 2021
• ISBN: 9781005926588

Goran Radanovic

I am an author of romance and erotic romance books. My blog, eroticalust.com, features free short stories and all of my books.

Book preview

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Shatter

Self-Limiting Beliefs

Goran Radanovic

© Goran Radanovic 2014

Shatter Self-Limiting Beliefs

Published by Goran Radanovic

[e-mail]

www.goranradanovic.com

ISBN 978-0-620-59644-2

eISBN 978-0-620-59645-9

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the written permission of the copyright owner.

Layout and cover design by Boutique Books

Contents

1 Introduction

2 The Origins of Your Beliefs

3 Your Beliefs

4 How Your Beliefs are Affecting You

5 How to Change Your Beliefs

6 The Changes You'll Experience

7 The After Effects

8 What Do I Do Now?

1

Introduction

I remember growing up with absolutely no cares, and all the freedom in the world. Everything I did was on my own terms and in my own time. Then, in my late teens I started becoming increasingly frustrated with my life. I lacked fulfilment and felt as if something was missing – to the point that I wanted to run away from home. There were times I even contemplated suicide.

I had food, water, clothes, a stable home, a group of friends;in fact, all my needs were met. Yet I wasn’t happy.

Even though I had all those things, I never really felt as if I truly belonged at home. My dad was always away for work-related reasons and my mom was sick for several years, which eventually led to her death. My so-called friends excluded me from all the fun activities, which I desperately wanted to be part of. I later realised that the activities weren’t really important, I wanted their friendship.

It would be no understatement to say that I was mildly unsuccessful with girls and dating. The truth is, I was a complete disaster in that area. After all, how can you attract someone if you can’t even look her in the eye? Besides, I had very few opportunities to meet girls. But when I did, I was so shy that I couldn’t interact with them. I’d blush if one looked at me and I would look down at the floor. My voice would be barely audible, even to myself.

Of all the things that bothered me, my lack of success with girls caused me the most heartache. I would go with my friends to clubs night after night and see beautiful ladies there waiting to meet somebody like me. Yet I did absolutely nothing. Even though the logical part of my brain knew that there was essentially nothing stopping me from walking over to say Hi, the mere thought of doing that paralysed me.

I would go home feeling so frustrated and angry at the world that I wanted to be someone else – someone who didn’t have to go through all the trauma. After repeating the same pattern night after night, year after year, I reached a point where I hated going out. I saw absolutely no hope of meeting women. I believed that the world owed me something, and should give me what I wanted when I wanted it. I couldn’t understand how somebody as normal as I was couldn’t get even one date. My appearance was presentable, my finances weren’t dismal, my mind was intact, yet there was no hope.

After graduating from university, I ran into an old friend from high school. We’ll call him John. We went out for drinks and it wasn’t long before our typical male conversation turned to girls. John asked, "How is it going in the girl department, Goran?’’ Hmm... how do you think it’s going? I told him about my years of painful frustration having no success with women and feeling that success with women should be handed to me on a silver platter because that’s how things work in the modern world. When John saw the hopelessness in my eyes, he invited me to come to his pizza shop so that he could give me a book, which would apparently be the answer to all my prayers. Having nothing planned, I decided to give it a try – the pizza of course, not the book.

I went to his shop and was surprised that he didn’t offer me any pizza, but he did give me the book. He told me to read it from cover to cover with a completely open mind. Knowing that I had hit rock bottom and had nowhere else to turn, I decided to give success with girls one last shot.

I went home and read the book from cover to cover. The book contained real-life stories of men who weren’t wealthy, weren’t good-looking or had no social stature that would attract women, yet they successfully did just that. They were nerds, up-and-coming authors, recent divorcees – most of them had nothing to commend them, they were ordinary men. One central theme ran through all the stories –the power of self-limiting beliefs.

To a man, all of them believed that beautiful women only wanted men who were rich, good-looking, strong, tall and high on the social ladder. It was that very belief that had prevented them attracting the success that they wanted. Only when they eliminated these beliefs were they able to do that.

When I read that, I felt as if a 16-ton truck had knocked me into a higher level of awareness. I finally saw that I had been doing the same thing all along. Subconsciously, the reason I didn’t approach women was because I believed they wanted someone rich and good looking. I couldn’t look them in the eye because I didn’t feel worthy of them. I couldn’t imagine myself with someone as beautiful as them because I had no belief in myself. I realised that my beliefs had been causing my problem all along, keeping me from the life that I desired.

I had to accept that it was completely my fault, which wasn’t an easy thing to come to terms with. Accepting that idea would mean that, in one way or another, much of the pain in my life was self-inflicted. I would no longer be able to blame the world for my misfortunes. When I was dissatisfied with my life, all it meant was that I wasn’t stepping up and taking control. This is the very reason that people seldom get what they want. They believe that life is completely out of their control and that they don’t deserve happiness. They blame others for their troubles. This, my friend, is called the loser mentality.

A winner mentality replaces the loser mentality when you accept that life is what you make it. You become completely obsessed with success and you take massive action. That’s exactly what I did. With nothing left to lose, apart from my pride, I adopted the winner mentality. I decided to get rid of all the thoughts and beliefs that were preventing me from attracting the kind of woman I truly wanted. Even as I made that decision, a big part of me still believed that women cared about looks, money and status. I had to dismiss these thoughts and act as if they didn’t exist in order to reach the success I desired.

I called John and told him that the next weekend would be the start of my new life. I would go against my beliefs and approach a beautiful woman for the very first time. As I was saying this to him, my heart started to pound so fast that I thought it would jump out of my chest. However, regardless of the emotional roller-coaster, nothing was going to stop me from accomplishing my mission.

When we arrived at the club, it wasn’t long before all the attention focussed on me and the life-altering leap that I said I would take. My friends scouted the club and picked the most beautiful, intimidating and unapproachable woman they could find. She had long, blonde, silky hair, green eyes and curves like a Coke bottle. She was every guy’s dream girl ... and my worst nightmare. One friend pointed to her and said, That one. She’s going to the bathroom now and when she comes out, you’re up. The mere thought of walking up to her and starting a conversation made my legs shake. In fact, they were shaking so badly that I had to pretend I was dancing to avoid falling over.

With my anxiety rocketing through the roof and my legs wobbling like jelly, she came out of the bathroom and immediately I thought to myself, If not now, Goran, when? If I backed away, if I gave into my fear, if I let my beliefs stop me, my years of no action would turn into 100 years of no action.

I decided in that moment that I couldn’t take any more of the miserable life that I was living. I stepped up to her immediately and said, Hi, I need a woman’s opinion. She said, Okay, I’m a woman, I can give you my opinion. Do men know what women want and need? I managed to gasp. Without a second’s hesitation, she said, No. That threw me because I was too wrapped up in the fact that I had had the audacity to approach this beauty, so I started grasping at straws to make conversation. I didn’t know what to follow up with and she saw I was inexperienced so eventually turned and walked away from me. I was stunned and joyous at the same time. I couldn’t believe the new milestone I had reached. Immediately, I turned to John and said, I’ve begun my journey.I was so proud of what I had done that I didn’t care that she walked away from me. I wouldn’t have cared if the roof had caved in killing all of us. My friends made fun of me afterwards, saying that I was rejected and my pick-up line was stupid, but that didn’t deter me.

For the first time in my life, I went after what I wanted. I took complete control of my life and exposed myself to any and all consequences that could come my way. After that day, I approached women wherever I went, day or night, alone or with friends – nothing could stop me from going after what I wanted.

Unfortunately, it was years after my first approach that my new strategy began to pay off. I was walking up to and starting conversations with women, but when I was rejected, I reverted to the old limiting beliefs. They only want good-looking guys. It’s because I’m not rich that she rejected me. My pick-up line wasn’t witty enough. Those were my thoughts after each encounter.

Even though I could push past the fear that was holding me back, clearly my subconscious mind still believed that I didn’t really deserve beautiful women. No matter how hard I tried, my subconscious mind always got the better of me.

I knew that if I wanted to be successful I would have to truly believe that I deserved it, and that it could happen to me. So I did that. Whenever I caught myself thinking negative thoughts, such as. She’s out my league, I immediately replaced that thought with. She’d be lucky to be with me. I realise that this seems narcissistic, but you have to know that the subconscious mind cannot distinguish reality from fantasy. The subconscious mind is extremely literal and follows orders to the letter. To the subconscious mind, reality is what you tell it to be.

I used to have extremely low self-esteem, mainly because I had spent years talking negatively to myself. I was the most destructive person in my life because I was always an expert at self-criticism. These days, I’m the best self-coach I can possibly be. The more I spoke positively to myself, the more my beliefs changed at the core, to the point that I made changes on a subconscious level. I began to believe that I deserved the success that I wanted. I replaced all my old, limiting beliefs with new, positive beliefs, and that’s when I started to see real results. Eventually, I had such a high success rate that I was kissing girls within two minutes of meeting them. They even asked me to take them to