An Attitude of Expectancy: Our Choices Control Our Existence

By Mary Banks

MARY BANKS’ book is part-memoir and part-testimonial tips based on her years of recording life events. It is also filled with stories that her relatives told her as a young girl. This book encourages people to learn to never give up and to strive for the very best. She writes that some of our problems may be there for a long time in order to teach us and in order for us to see how long it takes our hearts to become humble. This book is filled with unexpected experiences, love, pain, and even rejection. She compels people to check their circle for people who drain energy. This book encourages you to learn from mistakes. She shares testimonies in order to bless others. It talks about how we are all born to love and how people learn how to hate. The book also teaches that success is not about the size of your house, car, closets or bank account. This book is evidence that success is not about your possessions but rather about relationships. It encourages forgiveness to gain complete love and peace within yourself. Mary goes into details about experiencing the Covid-19 pandemic. She encourages everyone to never give up. This writing persuades the reader to enjoy life because it is the gift that God gave you.
Mary Banks is the third child born to an African American family in Chicago. After her parents separated by the time she was seven, she was eventually raised in a single-parent household. Her home had strict guidelines. Mary compels people to surround themselves with positive people. She graduated from DePaul University. She has 5 degrees including a Doctorate in Divinity. She retired from a Law Enforcement career after 30 years. She is a background actor for television. She tutored and mentored high school children in several Chicago Public Schools. She has modeling and motivational speaking experience. She is a Christian, Minister and has taught bible classes for over 20 years.
She volunteers in many capacities in her community. She has made mistakes but kept the power of resilience and learned from each of her mistakes. Even though she was quiet as a child, she grew up to boldly witness to gang members on the streets of Chicago. She has put her own life in danger for others. Her hope is that this book will allow people to know that they are never alone.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing
• Release date: Jun 22, 2021
• ISBN: 9781698707952

Book preview

Copyright 2021 Mary Banks.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

isbn:

978-1-6987-0794-5 (sc)

isbn:

978-1-6987-0795-2 (e)

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Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Trafford rev.  06/21/2021

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MARY BANKS’ book is part memoir and part testimonial-tips based on her years of journaling life events. The book is filled with many experiences. It is also filled with stories that her relatives told her as a young girl.

Her hope is that this book will allow people to know that they are not alone. It is her prayer that people will learn to never give up. She wants people to continue to strive for the very best.

Mary wants people to know that success is not the size of your house, car or closets. It is not about how much money that you have in your bank account. Success is about relationships. She encourages everyone to look to the Word of God and not the world. You can have great things but in order to keep what God gives you depends on your true relationship with Him.

Even while going through a pandemic, Mary encourages you to never give up.

She wants people to see themselves the way that God does; and to always remember to go to God. He is the one who has strategic instructions for those who believe.

Contents

Introduction

Forgiveness Is Your Gift

The Best Pot of Chili

Chicago Blizzard

Elementary School Reunion

Black Panthers

High School & Prom

Court Reporting

Modeling

Honorable Elijah Muhammad

Jesus is the Answer

Mayor Harold Washington

Meet the President

You Are Not Here By Accident

Your Testimony is a Blessing for Others

Mix Faith With the Word or it Won’t Work

Lead Even When it is Not Convenient

This Earth is Faith School

Marriage

The Covid-19 Pandemic

Meet A Real Man

About the Author

Introduction

We all have one thing in common. We are all trying to live the best life that we know how to live. We are trying our best to make each day better. If you are stuck on pause and caught between two options, pray about it and make your transition. Slide right into your purpose.

There are many things that you will find out in life, whether you grew up on a farm, a trailer park or the projects. You may have even been raised in a middle class environment, a group home, foster care, juvenile detention or perhaps in an upper class lifestyle. Regardless of where you came from, you will discover that no one will ever love you the way that you can. You must take care of you.

If money was plentiful, you learned that money can’t buy you happiness. Happiness comes from within. It’s internal and not external. In life, we create our own happiness. The older we get, we find out that the people around us are simply bonuses. There is not one person on this earth who can complete us. We complete ourselves and allow the people around us to join in our wholeness. If we are missing anything, we must work on that void to prevent any future disappointment in relationships.

Each day we get older. As we get older, we wake up and discover that skin and hair changes. You wake up one day and discover that this wasn’t here yesterday. Not only does our body change daily, but our thinking also changes. If there is one mistake that continues to follow you; ask God for correction and just keep it moving. If there are restrictions because of mistakes that were made, try to deal with them in an honest fashion and forgive. Many people believe that forgiveness is just for the other person. Forgiveness is not just for the other person but it is for you. If you don’t believe me, take the following test. Think about the days you’ve wasted pondering over those whom you did not forgive. Go down the list of details that led to the problem and examine just how you felt after putting yourself through such an ordeal.

Next, take a few days cleansing your mind of every thought that is negative. Go down the list of people who have hurt you and forgive them. Tell them and yourself that you forgive them and that you want a clear conscience from any negativity. Once you have done this, your very own life becomes peaceful and happy. This takes practice when you go through trials.

The truth is that love and forgiveness allow us to live longer and happier lives. People are worth loving whether near or far; so the least thing that you can do is forgive. Asking for forgiveness is the bravest thing that a person can do.

Journal your thoughts as a way of support for separating the negativity away from you; and tell yourself, I forgive. Say it continuously until it is not an issue anymore. The mind needs a positive anchor in order to gain closure. If we cannot ignore critics, it’s like remaining in a comatose state of mind. The mind needs closure from deep-seated pain and emotional betrayal. Practice being positive every single day and practice forgiveness. Shut the door to doubt, fear and negativity; remember that you are not the only person that they would have hurt. They would have done that to somebody else. It is better to be slapped with truth than to be kissed with a lie. Fear and unforgiveness are like locked doors. Fear clouds the truth.

Forgiveness Is Your Gift

Some people will never change. We don’t have a right to change anyone or to force a change on anyone. Don’t take it personal. We must work on being responsible for what we say and not what people understand. The minute you forgive, you will find a peace that passes all understanding. Your world changes when you forgive others. Forgiveness does not exonerate the person who hurt you. It gives you a chance to accept what happened then take the next step by letting it go. You are not held captive by what they did because you are free. You possess the gift of forgiveness.

You will be surprised at how unforgiveness can cause illnesses, growths, cancers, and respiratory problems. Forgive because your own health is worth it.

We all know someone who behaves unkindly because something happened to them. They constantly push all blame on others. There are people who cannot love everybody around them at the same time.

Let’s say that you have a situation going on around you and people know that you are right. They see what the other person is saying and doing to you. You begin to bend over backwards trying to prove that you are right? Why? Everyone can see what’s happening. People can be evil when no one’s watching; and in other cases, they don’t care who sees them. When I was younger, I was at an event and someone said, Watch this. They went over to another person and verbally insulted them. I let them know that I did not agree. As long as you put up with that you are saying that it is okay to mistreat someone. Walking away shows everyone that it is not okay. Why get out of breath trying to prove yourself when they already know the truth. Move away from drama. It is not worth your peace. Keep your joy. Even God knows the truth. Please Him.

When you know who God is, that is when you discover your own identity. God says that you are His child. God’s greatest gift to mankind is the knowledge of knowing that we are His children. We gain clarity from our identity. He is the manufacturer. God created us. Only the manufacturer knows what is wrong. He formed you through your life’s experiences to meet your purpose. He is molding you.

Someone asked me does God really exist? We grow up hearing and learning about God. As we grow older, we become our own decision makers. How can you get to know anybody without spending time around them? The same applies to God. If you spend time with God, you will find out about Him. We need God to get us through those tough circumstances. We also need Him when things are good.

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I grew up in low income