Created for Love: Discovering What Love Is, What Love Isn’T, and What Love Does

By Jr. Robert B. Shaw and Bishop Adrian F. Starks

While I realize that there are countless books about love and relationships, and the aspects of what relationship love looks like, I am addressing love from a different angle – an angle that is not often seen. There is a diabolical force that blocks the ability to feel and express love. This force is truly the “dark side” since it is underlying our every attempt to give and obtain the most important and powerful force in the universe. It all starts with understanding the intricacies of love and the forces that would hinder and even attempt to destroy love. Most of us have asked ourselves during portions of our life, why we may do what we do, and why the world around us is so hostile, resistant, and self-centered. Love can overcome anything, as long as we know the origin of love and the Giver of love.

“There are times when a relationship needs a breakthrough and nothing seems to work. In this carefully crafted book Dr. Shaw gives solid Biblical answers to guide to that BREAKTHROUGH. Walk through these pages and allow new possibilities of HOPE for you and your relationships. This is an excellent guide that will bring new insights and New HOPE.”
—Gregory L. Jantz, PhD, C.E.D.S.
Founder, The Center • A Place of HOPE
www.aplaceofhope.com

“What you hold in your hand is one of the most profound and powerful books about love you will find anywhere. Dr. Shaw masterfully teaches amazing precepts and awesome principles about the manifold mysteries and timeless truths of the most dynamic force in the universe: love. Biblically solid and clinically sound, this book will change your life and transform your relationships. Drink deeply, eat heartily, and bask refreshingly from the wise counsel of this insightful series that Bob Shaw has blessed us with!”
—Rev. Jared Pingleton, Psy.D.
Minister and Clinical Psychologist,
Author or Coauthor of nine books

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Feb 4, 2021
• ISBN: 9781664220010

Book preview

Copyright © 2021 Robert B. Shaw, Jr.

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WestBow Press rev. date:  02/01/2021

Contents

Foreword

Introduction

Part I   What Love Is

Chapter 1   What’s in a Word

Chapter 2   Love Begins—A Love Relationship with God

Chapter 3   The Greatest of These is Love

Part II   What Love Is Not

Chapter 4   Anger

Chapter 5   Addictions

Chapter 6   Affairs

Part III   What Love Does

Chapter 7   Love Pursues

Chapter 8   Love Restores

Chapter 9   Love Transforms

Conclusion

Epilogue

Reflection

References

About the Author

Foreword

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A s a worldwide community of believers, we Christians must prepare agile thinkers and adherents to the principles found in the good news of the Bible. By this, we will produce disciples who can create connections across varied disciplinary sectors of the faith as is needed to demonstrate our Christlikeness. Also, we will position the next generation of hope dealers for the age to come. The hallowed words of the angel foretelling of Christ’s impending birth and divine purpose are ringing loudly in the silence of the chamber of my heart even as I write. This announcement was not solely about His birth but also of His mission, as declared in Luke 1:17: And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord—a manifestation of ultimate love. This is the mission of our church, and as previously stated, it should be the mission of the worldwide community of Christian believers. The apostle Paul was keen on this idea of readiness or preparation, proven by the word as referenced in Acts 20:27—I did not shrink back from sharing with you the whole counsel of God—as he interacted with those entrusted to his tutelage.

The angel’s message directive represents well the heart’s cry and the aim of the author, Dr. Robert Shaw Jr., in his work known as the Created For series. Furthermore, I find this specific work, Created for Love, to be an exceptional work on the highly controversial topic of love. It is controversial for the reasons pointed out by Dr. Shaw: different people groups and languages do not share the exact methods of communicating the topic of love. Consequently, Dr. Shaw invests significant time in setting the foundational understanding of love as a multilayered element of life. He used the pen as an artist uses the brush, to paint the word pictures of truth, and did so with vivid clarity. After completing this book, no one should be confused or disjointed about the importance our heavenly Father places on love.

Although this subject has been tackled by scores of other clinicians, pastors, and authors, from many differing points of view, it is with great courage and godly compassion that Dr. Shaw travels this oft-traveled road called love. The insights are fresh and insightfully assembled in his conversational style of writing. As it was the mission of Christ to prepare a people, I offer that it too is Dr. Shaw’s mission to not leave anyone to find themselves in the Christian life or to roam the earth in search of their purpose without the preparedness that comes from this book. May it teach you, challenge you, prune you, equip you, and strengthen you in your core longing for love.

Bishop Adrian F. Starks

Senior Pastor

World Victory International Christian Church

wvicc.org

Greensboro, NC

Introduction

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W hen I was in high school, I had a foreign language teacher who claimed to be a witch. She would preside over an after-school foreign language club and, from time to time, discuss her views and philosophies of life with the students. Essentially, she was what was once referred to as a hippie, and her spirituality revolved around what is now called white magic. She would claim to cast curses on other individuals, mostly other faculty members. Rumors were rampant about strange occurrences regarding several other teachers and the connection of these occurrences to uttered curses originating from this young foreign language teacher. I never was able to substantiate any of these claims but found myself intrigued by the possibility of these curses. Added to the mystery was the fact that this teacher was fired at the end of the school year.

While I fully believe in the supernatural and the existence of occultic practices and manifestations, curses as referred to in the above example are not the ones that most people need to be concerned about. Curses that I will be addressing are directly related to another spiritual dynamic—that of sin. Now, before you discard this book and decide that you have heard all you want to hear about sin, I believe that as you read further, you may gain some new insight into the hindrances in life with which we all struggle. The ability to love and to receive love are powerfully affected by the curse of sin.

While I realize that there are countless books about love and relationships and the aspects of what relationship love looks like, I am addressing love from a different angle—an angle that is not often seen. There is a diabolical force that blocks the ability to feel and express love. This force is truly the dark side since it is underlying our every attempt to give and obtain the most important and powerful force in the universe. Love can overcome anything, as long as we know the origin of and the Giver of love. It all starts with understanding the intricacies of love and the forces that would hinder and even attempt to destroy love. Most of us have asked ourselves during seasons of our lives why we do what we do and why the world around us is so hostile, resistant, and self-centered.

The curse of sin is the ultimate culprit. I believe the opposite of love is curse, not hate. The curse of sin brings hate, abuse, destruction, harm, and countless other calamities. When a person is under the curse, all manner of unrighteousness, wrongdoings, and self-centeredness occurs. The curse needs to be broken, and we all need to be restored. Ultimately, the antidote is love, which originates from God as revealed through Jesus Christ. When sincerely expressed between people, it has the power to overcome, restore, and heal. The famous beloved Christmas carol Joy to the World, written by Isaac Watts in 1790, has third and fourth verses that sing:

No more let sins and sorrows grow,

Nor thorns infest the ground.

He comes to make his blessings flow

Far as the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,

And makes the nations prove

The glories of His righteousness,

And wonders of His love. (italics mine)

God’s love and blessings will forever flow as far as the curse of sin is found. His love and pursuit of us is never-ending. He will always overrun, overpower, and overrule any effects of the curse. All we have to do is surrender to His love and grace for us.

Also, I believe that we can experience true deliverance and liberty, once we learn the antidote to these curses and the victory that Jesus Christ provides through His love, power, and blessings. Sin separates. Love brings together. Sin breaks relationships. Love builds relationships. Essentially, sin hinders and destroys love. Broken relationships alter our outlook on life. Brokenness influences a person’s spirit, which is created to know love and to express love. Instead, we have experienced many other types of spirits as a result of brokenness. Proverbs 18:14 says, The spirit of a man can endure his sickness, but as for a broken spirit, who can bear?

The Bible records many types of spirits that are a result of sin and broken love. Sin is what occurs when we step away from God’s love and design. Redemption and renewal are necessary to transform and restore a person. Sin can also happen to us in various forms, such as abuse, neglect, assault, character assassination, and molestation, just to name a few. In these cases, the curse of sin is forced upon us and, as a result, deeply affects the victim’s outlook on his- or herself, the world around that person, and God. The effect of this perpetrated sin needs to be broken and eradicated from a person’s spirit. Below are several:

• spirit of jealousy (Num. 5:14)

• oppressed spirit (1 Sam. 1:15)

• sullen spirit (1 Kings 21:5)

• angry spirit (Ezek. 3:14)

• anxious spirit (Dan. 2:3)

• distressed spirit (Dan. 7:15)

• deceitful spirit (1 Tim. 4:1)

• spirit of destroyer (Jer. 51:1)

• spirit of slavery (Rom. 8:15)

• perversion spirit (Prov. 15:4)

• spirit of timidity or fear (1 Tim. 1:7)

• spirit of error (1 John 4:6)

• spirit of our minds (Eph. 4:23)

The curse of sin can be eradicated from our lives through the love of God. The love of God is manifested through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. God is love (1 John 4:8), and He always puts love into action. In order to experience love in a true sense, we need to understand the love of God the Father toward us. Once we know we are loved, inner healing of our broken spirit can occur. Once we know we are loved, we can more readily love others. Essentially, we can only give that which we have!

All curses originate from the curse proclaimed in Genesis chapter 3. The fact that man was created in the image of God is truly what is at stake in the spiritual realm and in the daily living out of our lives. We will learn the essential aspects of the curse, the provision that God made through Jesus Christ to break the curse, and how the transforming power of the cross and the resurrection can place us back again on the road of walking in the image of God. Everything that God has done for humankind to provide salvation and transformation of our broken spirit is centered on and motivated by His eternal love.

As a licensed Christian mental health counselor, pastor, and Bible teacher I have seen the effects of the curse in people’s lives. I have seen the hindrances that are experienced in people’s lives as a result of the curse. The curse of sin has had the most profound effect on love—the love between God and humanity, and then the love that should exist between one another. I have also seen the glorious deliverance from the curse and love’s freeing effects upon the lives of broken people.

There is a subtle but profound difference between iniquity, transgression, and sin.

Exodus 34:6–7 states:

The Lord God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in Loving kindness and truth; who keeps loving kindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression, and sin; yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and on the grandchildren to the third and fourth generations. (italics mine)

God has made provision for transgression and sin, but nothing less than outright and complete deliverance will eradicate iniquity from our lives. Iniquity is the essence of the curse. Transgression and sin are action words, or the outward manifestation of iniquity, which is the human fallen nature. Iniquity is the state of being in which all humankind exists because of the Fall in the Garden of Eden. But because God pursues us, out of His love for us, He has made provision for all sin, transgression, and iniquity. More will be discussed about this in chapter 7.

Because as human beings in a fallen world, we all experience brokenness to varying degrees, my sincere hope is to provide at least an environment and inspiration for the wounded and broken person to experience the restoration of their spirit and a new life. That hope is also expressed in this book, as well as the other books in this series—namely, that God will begin to do His work in the readers’ lives as the truths of His Word unfold for them. I pray that God will open the hearts of the readers so that the powerful, compassionate, gracious, and resurrected Savior, Jesus Christ, can bring forth understanding and healing into their lives.

Love is the power behind creation, relationships, redemption, restoration, and what it takes to ultimately overcome that which holds us back—the curse of sin. I will be addressing love from several different angles that will help us understand the source of love, the characteristics of love, what love is not, and what love does. I want to acknowledge and thank Dr. Terry Wardle and Dr. Anne Halley for their inspiration regarding human core longings and on inner healing prayer. This is the sixth and final book in the series of six, dealing with core longings. As the last book in the Created For series, love is also the foundation to all core longings that have been included in this series. While love may be the ultimate core longing, the longings of a sense of significance, the feeling of safety or covering, the finding of our purpose, the desire and ability to take the time to understand one another, and the essence of feeling a sense of belonging all are effected by the absence or the presence of love. My prayer is that God will make Himself real to you and will fulfill your longings, which in reality can be ultimately and perfectly met by relationship with God the Father, through Jesus Christ.

Blessings to all who enter this book.

PART I

What Love Is

CHAPTER 1

What’s in a Word

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.

—Sophocles

By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.

—John 13:35

W hen my children were younger and I would coach their athletic teams, one of our traditions was to take them out after games, win or lose, for dinner at a fast-food restaurant or at least for ice cream. If we chose to do the latter, despite the many choices available, they almost always chose one specific ice-cream place. Whenever I would ask them why, they would say something like this, Because I love their chocolate ice cream or Because I love their shakes. I also preferred this specific restaurant because I loved their vanilla ice cream. We made it clear by our preferences and expressions of love for our favorite ice cream place and flavor. Fortunately, when I tell my children that I love them, they know it carries more meaning than saying I love vanilla ice cream. Therein lies an example of one of the many uses of the one English word, and the potential limitations or misconstrued use of such a meaningful and powerful word— love .

In the English language, there are many synonyms, different words with similar meaning, exceptions to rules of grammar, and words that are spelled differently but have the same sound. Such aspects and many others have rendered the English language one of the most difficult languages to learn. There are other languages that offer a more detailed and expressive way to communicate certain concepts and feelings. French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, and Romanian are some of the languages that are more expressive—so much so that they are called the Romanic or Romance languages, all of which are derived from Latin. Greek is a language that also is complex and expressive.

Four primary and unique forms of love are found in the Greek language. The New Testament of the Bible was originally written in the Greek language, and three of these four words for love are used throughout the twenty-seven New Testament books. They are phileo, storge, and agape. The word eros is not used in the New Testament texts. How they are translated is essential in understanding the teachings of Jesus, Paul, and the other apostles.

The Greek word phileo is translated and understood as love between good friends and one’s fellow human being. It is from this root word we derive the name of the city of Philadelphia—city of brotherly love.