Now What?: The Flip Side

By Akosua Dardaine Edwards

Self-Destruction is not pretty and it can be painful as hell. Trust me!
Life gives us so many nudges and clues on when we are on the path of self-destruction. If we truly pay attention, we can change the path and reroute accordingly.
Life is even so good to us that even when we ignore the clues and nudges, it will stop us right where we are in our tracks, and demand our full attention
The pages you are about to read, reflect the stories and lessons of what I call the flip side.
The flip side of when I was stopped in my tracks and rerouted. The flip side reflects the path after my own Journey to Unconditional Self Love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Feb 2, 2021
• ISBN: 9781982262075

Akosua Dardaine Edwards

Akosua Dardaine Edwards is the author of What Did I Learn Today- Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self love and Nyabo (Madam) Why Are you Here? The Truth About Living in Love , Service and Personal Power. Akosua continues to share through her workshops, programs and coaching, the lessons she has learned with the intention of demonstrating the power of choice, authenticity and community.

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Copyright © 2021 Akosua Dardaine Edwards.

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except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you

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ISBN: 978-1-9822-6206-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-6207-5 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 01/30/2021

Contents

Acknowledgements

Prologue

Episode 1 You are not something to be fixed

Episode 2 Change Begins with Courage

Episode 3 I Shall Not Want

Episode 4 Give Yourself Permission to...

Episode 5 Responsibility is the ability to respond

Episode 6 Do Not Fight Yourself

Episode 7 My favourite feeling

Episode 8 What’s the Point?

Episode 9 The Stuff That Matter is Simple

Episode 10 Looking into the Mirror of Self

Episode 11 Find Your Centre and Stay Grounded in It

This is Now

The Flip Side Manifesto

It is impossible not to have, but it is possible not to know you have.

The Journey you are about to go on with me is a reflection of my experiences, my story, my growth, my lessons.

Rewind with me for a moment, if you would indulge me. A few years ago, I wrote a book which kickstarted an entirely different life for me; A life that was entirely unplanned and different to my previous existence. That book emerged from a series of events that screamed at me to shift, to pivot, to pay attention, to honour myself and my feelings. I was literally pushed into a situation where, if I did not choose to heal, if I did not practice self-acceptance and self-love, I would self-destruct.

Self-Destruction is not pretty, and it can be painful as hell. Trust me!

Life gives us so many nudges and clues on when we are on the path of self-destruction. If we truly pay attention, we can change the path and reroute accordingly before its too late.

Life is even so good to us that even when we ignore the clues and nudges, it will stop us right where we are in our tracks, and demand our full attention

The pages you are about to read, reflect the stories and lessons of what I call the flip side.

The flip side of when I was stopped in my tracks and rerouted. The flip side reflects the path after my own Journey to Unconditional Self Love.

The flip side was me doing something new, something different.

The flip side was what happened with the lessons that I learned, unlearned, ignored, became unwilling and crashed.

The flip side is me feeling more comfortable in my own power and my own self.

The beautiful thing about life is that the nudges continue as we go about our lives.

I invite you to see the flip side of the Journey to Unconditional Self Love.

The Journey continues.

Cheers to Life and its Nudges.

Cheers to the Journey.

Cheers to the Flipside.

I am here only to represent she who sent me

I do not have to worry about what to say or what to do

Because she who sent me will direct me

I am content to be wherever she wishes

Knowing she goes with me

I will be healed as I am divinely guided.

Amen

Acknowledgements

Give thanks for the lessons, for the people who continue to let me be me

My family

Keish Keish

The AAT

To Ayanna for the gentle nudges to come out of my comfort zone.

The Wakanda Squad

Y’all know who you are

A Whole Heap of Love and Gratitude to all of you

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all of the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. It is not necessary to seek for what is true, but it is necessary to seek for what is false." (T-16.IV.6:1-2). ACIM

Prologue

I zipped the suitcase closed and stood up slowly. I could feel the eyes on the back of my head and hear the groans of the people waiting in the queue behind me. The line was winding and bending—typical for an airport around the holidays—with people eager to check in to their respective flights.

Ms. Edwards, please step aside until you decide what you are doing with your luggage.

I smiled at the check in attendant at the counter, as her red scarf wafted up onto her face making her name tag very prominent Azra it said with the Turkish Airlines name and logo below her own name.

Thank you, Azra

She seemed startled that I called her by her name. Wait I thought, was that a bit of a smile I saw?

I was willing to do anything for the ability to take my books with me on this flight to London.

She returned the smile.

I immediately started to make small talk. Smalls as we call it back at home in Trinidad and Tobago.

So, Azra, you must see so many people with too much luggage? I chuckled.

She rolled her eyes, but in a good way.

Ms. Edwards, it is the story of my life, I tell you.

I can well imagine, some things are just worthy to be travelled with, like books that guide you through life. You know what I mean?

What type of books, anything on love?

Oh yes, all of them.

You must tell me more, Ms. Edwards.

And so, the books survived the trip from Istanbul to London.

What is it about me and logging around books? I wonder how much a Kindle costs? I wondered why I did not just invest in one? Questions and more questions.

I just love the smell and feel of a new book, oh and of a used book, it just seems to feel and smell better the more I use it. For travel though, it is hard to convince the check in agents at airports about my love for a real book without having to either pay extra, leave it or find a way to sneak some them in.

Here I am again, making a trek across continents and having to negotiate my luggage. Ok, ok not luggage, the books that I seem to hold on to.

Two years ago, as I left to UK to take up residence in East Africa, a suitcase of books stopped me as well. Back then there was no Azra and no me with a calm enough head to hold small talk with the check in agents.

I felt angry and helpless. I was convinced that the books would be the only way to remain sane as I embarked on a new life in a new space.

Does this mean that I have not learned or grown in the past few years? That thought alone was enough to send me back into a black hole, but I absolutely refuse to. Azra was making a move to agree for these books to accompany me, things must be looking up.

No time to ponder on these questions, I must catch my flight.

I am now returning from East Africa, no longer angry and certainly not helpless.

Azra, you really don’t have the time to hear all the love stories

She laughed.

Take out three of the books add it to your hand luggage and use those lessons on love when you get to your next city.

Thank you, Azra

She placed the bag on the belt and I was on my way back home via London with all my books on love.

I took this as a sign of better days ahead.

The books endured another journey.

And just like that the books survived, so I prayed that I would fare as the books and survive another journey.

Episode 1

You are not something

to be fixed

Above all else I want to see this differently

Lesson: I am not seeking to fix myself. I’ve just learned that there is nothing that need to be fixed. I’m showing up for my life. As Myself. For Myself. All the time. Every time.

The Flipside

I arrived in London from Kampala, via Istanbul on what one would call a typical British morning with grey skies and persistent drizzle.

The rain was falling, the type of rain where an umbrella really makes absolutely no sense, but, if you stay outside for any length of time, you will be soaked.

The sky was grey enough for light, only to remind me that it was London, with its infamous weather.

I love London… now.

This city played a huge part in my transition from a girl to woman, from bitter to accepting, from a belief of being powerless to one where I know that my power lies within me and never leaves me. London reaffirmed to me that my power only disappears when I give it up or forget that it is always mine to tap into.

Flashback to a few years ago, where I felt such a deep resentment towards the City of London. Not so long ago, I viewed the ten years plus I spent living in London as a complete waste. I could not wrap my head around the fact that I believed I had nothing tangible to show for the