Under His Grace: A Mothers Battle with Addiction

By Sherry Hill

Sometimes in our lives we face challenges and struggles that seem to overwhelm us and lead us down a path that is scary and unhealthy. This happened to me and to deal with the situation I turned to drugs, drugs became a way of life, a daily existence. I knew I was in trouble but could not figure a way out, and as hopelessness came in the drugs got stronger, but I knew that there was something stronger than the drugs and that was God. I reached out to God in my greatest need and it was only by His strength and by His guidance that I was able to succeed. This book chronicles my struggle with addiction and how by surrender and exposure was I able to rise above the addiction and walk into a new life and never look back. You can have freedom today also, God will help you. I know you can do it. Today is your day.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 15, 2020
• ISBN: 9781664146617

Sherry Hill

Sherry Hill is a mother and author, her first book "In the Silence", sought how to be still and silent in a world of conflict and turmoil, and how to attain true peace and self-discovery through the Lord's purpose. She writes poignant books that deal with everyday struggles, conflicts, and addictions and shares how by the grace of God she has transformed he life to one of joy, happiness, success and blessings.

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Copyright © 2021 by Sherry Hill.

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Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. [Biblica]

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Rev. date: 06/16/2021

Xlibris

844-714-8691

www.Xlibris.com

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Contents

Chapter 1 I Was A Drug Addict

Chapter 2 Hiding a Way of Life

Chapter 3 Stuck

Chapter 4 Lies

Chapter 5 Failure

Chapter 6 The Truth

Chapter 7 No Where to Run

Chapter 8 Failed Again

Chapter 9 You Cannot Get Here From There

Chapter 10 Peace

Chapter 11 Freedom

Chapter 12 My Pastor

Chapter 13 Persevering

Chapter 14 Independence Day

Chapter 15 Sometimes

Chapter 16 In the Land of Anxiety

Chapter 17 Hate is a word

Chapter 18 Pruning Your Life

Chapter 19 At a Crossroads

Chapter 20 Problems and Troubles

Chapter 21 Never give up

Chapter 22 All has been heard

Chapter 1

I Was A Drug Addict

Every day I would wake up, make my coffee, let the dogs out and then get high. It did not matter what I was doing or where I was going it was the same routine. My life revolved around drugs, getting drugs, getting high and then getting more drugs. Even though I would say that I had a good life, I knew it was a lie. Every day, I lived in hiding. Nobody could know, nobody could see. It was my secret. I know now that I hated my life, that I had scars and wounds that I just was not dealing with, and to conceal the pain I tried to medicate myself and push the pain away. When we do not deal with our neurosis, they do not go away. They may hide, or even lull us in a sense of, I have control of this, but it is all a lie. We do not have control; it has control of us. This control can warp and destroy us if we let it. This control never leads us to God or the good path He has for us. This path can only steal and destroy.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full. John 10:10 NIV.

My drug of choice was marijuana, and I really thought I had control of it because I had quit, for a month I was successful, for six months, for a year for five years, for ten years and the end result was I always went back. I had God, He was with me every step of the way, but obviously that was not getting me out of my addiction, I was missing something, What I was missing was exposure. Not until I surrendered my control and allowed the truth to be told would I ever be able to get free and praise God for the victory.

And you will know the Truth, and the Truth shall make you free. John 8:32 NKJV.

I needed freedom, and the only way to get free was to surrender and let God do whatever needed to be done. I realized my problem was more about how I dealt with the hiding than about how I dealt with the drugs. I decided to take a whole year and give God the ability to work on me and if need be expose me. When we serve and love God, we allow Him to take control of our lives, and He helps to prune our lives in such a way that we are ready and able to be, the Called of the Lord. I knew I did not want to be 80 and still getting high. That was the nightmare. That life terrified me because it was all about hiding.

Exposure can be hard, nobody likes being exposed, many times it leads to ridicule. What may not be seen, is that exposure really leads to healing and wholeness. I wanted to be whole. I needed that desperately and I knew, I was not, and I was begging for healing. Only with exposure, that was out of my control, did that healing start to emerge. God had been preparing me all this time, so that when the exposure happened, I would have the strength to continue and not run from it. Running gets us nowhere. Running only lies to us and leads us further and further into our addiction. We run from things all the time but running never gets us anywhere. Do not run, from your psyche. In this situation you must stand at the door and face the fear and not run. You must look it clearly in the eye and be determined.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come into him and dine with him, and he with Me. To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne. Revelations 3:20-21 NKJV.

I was standing at the door and knocking wanting an answer, wanting a cure, and God heard me. A friend of mine called and told me, Pastor knows that you are getting high, and I am like No Way, because that is your worst fear, along with mom and dad and the cops. As I was still on the phone talking, out of my mouth came, whatever is hidden shall be shouted from the rooftops, and I knew this completely and honestly to be true. It’s not a truth we want revealed but I knew I