The Scam Artist, the Saint, and the Survivor: A Memoir

By Nancy Murrietta

This is a story of true love, growth, perseverance, deceit, greed, compassion, and survival. Each person is fighting their own spiritual battles of their past while trying to survive in a world that wants to steal, kill, and destroy. My journey would lead me to an assignment on an online Christian dating site where I met the love of my life. When Ramiro started having problems that only money could solve, our love was being put to the test. While trying to search for the truth, I returned to the same site and met a man online called Wally. He tried all he could to warn me of what Ramiro was doing and how he was scamming me with his stories. But I was determined to go by faith and not by sight to receive the promise of God.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 26, 2024
• ISBN: 9798886442939

Book preview

Table of Contents

Title

Copyright

Note to the Readers

Introduction

Chapter 1: My Assignment

Chapter 2: This Can't Be Happening

Chapter 3: Survival Instinct

Chapter 4: In the Beginning

Chapter 5: The Girl Who Was Made

Chapter 6: Why Not Me

Chapter 7: My Spiritual Awakening

Chapter 8: Trust the Process

Chapter 9: In the Wilderness

Chapter 10: Let's Try Again

Chapter 11: Searching for the Truth

Chapter 12: My Confession

Chapter 13: Life Is Hard

Chapter 14: I'm Not There Yet!

Chapter 15: Making of a Scam Artist

Chapter 16: Who Is Wally?

Chapter 17: Divine Connections

Chapter 18: Black Magic

Chapter 19: He Is Fake!

Chapter 20: Love Is Beautiful

Chapter 21: Saying Goodbye

Chapter 22: The Life of a Scammer

Chapter 23: Wally and I

Chapter 24: High on Love

Chapter 25: Let Go and Let God

Chapter 26: Only the Strong Survive

Only the Strong Survive

Chapter 27: It's Malaria

Chapter 28: God Is Love

Chapter 29: Almost Fooled Me

Chapter 30: False Preachers

Chapter 31: Scams, Scams, Scams

Chapter 32: Life Is a School

Chapter 33: Ramiro Is Back!

Chapter 34: Ramiro and Wally

Chapter 35: We Were Built for This

Chapter 36: That's Not Fair

Chapter 37: What's Happening?

Chapter 38: God Will See Us Through

Chapter 39: I've Not Given Up

Chapter 40: This Too Shall Pass

Chapter 41: Hard-Core Christ Believer

Chapter 42: Nothing Is a Coincidence

Chapter 43: Mental Breakdown

Chapter 44: Is Anything Real?

Chapter 45: Scam Artist

Chapter 46: World Changer

Chapter 47: Spiritual Healer

Chapter 48: On Your Own

Chapter 49: Life Is a Game

Chapter 50: You Are an Impostor

Chapter 51: Child of God

Chapter 52: Who I Am

Chapter 53: Love Always Conquers

Chapter 54: Ambassador for Christ

Chapter 55: Thanks for the Memories

Chapter 56: The Finisher of My Story

Epilogue

Gracie's Sermon

Love Is a Choice

My Closing Letter to Jesus Christ—My God, My Lord, and My Savior

About the Author

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The Scam Artist, the Saint, and the Survivor

A Memoir

Nancy Murrietta

ISBN 979-8-88644-292-2 (Paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88644-293-9 (Digital)

Copyright © 2024 Nancy Murrietta

All rights reserved

First Edition

Scriptures marked NIV are taken from the NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION (NIV): Scripture

taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION ®. Copyright© 1973, 1978,

1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™. Used by permission of Zondervan

Scriptures marked ESV are taken from the THE HOLY BIBLE, ENGLISH STANDARD VERSION

(ESV): Scriptures taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, ENGLISH STANDARD VERSION ® Copyright©

2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission.

Scriptures marked KJV are taken from the KING JAMES VERSION (KJV): KING JAMES

VERSION, public domain.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Covenant Books

11661 Hwy 707

Murrells Inlet, SC 29576

www.covenantbooks.com

Disclaimer: The author does not claim to know the history or facts of any culture, ethnic group, government, or law enforcement practices or religious practices used in or by the people of Africa. The veracity of the information shared in this book is pure hearsay or taken from articles in blogs, news media, YouTube channels, or Google content. She does not claim to be a teacher, preacher, psychologist, or qualified theologian. She is a child of God who was used to witness to the best of her ability, and imagination and thoughts herein are her own. The names have been changed to protect the characters or people involved. She uses her past experiences, her knowledge from Bible studies and also some ideologies that were used while conversing on these chats, which may be true or not, but must be included to make the story as true to the content as possible. She has recreated some of the chats and true events that happened during these conversations. The characters, whether they be authentic or disguised, have both acknowledged and given consent to the writings herein.

To the child that lives within me

To my precious baby girl, I don't think I have ever told you how much I truly love you. You have been so courageous and so strong. You have been the light on my candle and an umbrella in the rain. I have mistreated you and ignored you, and I have allowed others to do the same. I never gave you credit for trying. I only judged you for thinking that you could. But from this day forward, I will honor you and make you a priority. I will pamper you, and I will embrace you. I will love every flaw and blemish on you. Although you were a diamond that was covered in mud, you always kept your faith in the One above!

Note to the Readers

How many times have you asked yourself, Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? God, how could you allow them to do this to me? How could someone say they love me and then throw me away after I was nice and loving to them? Why me?

The thought of ever putting yourself out there again becomes so revolting you would rather crawl under a rock or be hit by lightning than to take the chance of ever being hurt or put in a vulnerable position again. Your friends or loved ones might try to console you and say, Don't worry, you'll be okay. You will get over it in time, just move on. That is a lie! That is what the enemy wants you to believe. He wants you to stay stuck in the same patterns. He wants you to be a victim of your circumstances.

The truth is, you will not get over it, and you will never move on if you do not see the blessings in and behind your experience. You will continue to have a victim mentality, and you will learn not to trust anybody. But the worst part is, your heart becomes stone-cold as you build this wall around it that no one can tear down, not even yourself. You will feel yourself slowly becoming what you hate. You might even find yourself doing to others what they have done to you. Yes, this is where a majority of people live, with this victim mentality. Then you wonder what has happened to this world! You ask, why is this world so cold and dark? without realizing you have just been inducted into this cult of darkness.

It does not have to be this way!

Introduction

This book is not intended for everyone because not everyone is searching for the truth and not everyone is ready to hear the truth. To appreciate this book you must have an open mind to be able to look beyond what is logical in order to understand and experience the supernatural.

People ask, what is spirituality? In the Oxford English dictionary, it is defined as the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things. My understanding of spirituality is about seeking a meaningful connection with the Almighty God which can only be obtained through spirit because he is Spirit and it also involves a search for meaning in life which is our God-given purpose. In the Bible, it tells us,

The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit.

—1 Corinthians 2:14 (NIV)

For most of my life, I had no knowledge or understanding of the spiritual world. Everything was either black or white. There was no gray area. People were either good or they were bad. I was like most people in the world, confessing I believed in God but not having a relationship with him. The god that I knew was the god that I created him to be. He was just an invisible god in the sky. When I needed him to help me, I would call on him. When I was busy doing my own thing, I would put him away until I needed him again. I became my own god, doing what I wanted to do and worshiping what I wanted to worship. I was a lost soul who's spirit lived mostly in the dark, just existing in life rather than living life. I was doing the same things every day just to survive with no purpose in life. It was insane. Albert Einstein said it best in his quote: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I was living a lie. I was trapped in a reality I had created in my mind at an early age that believed I was not important, and for that reason, I would usually settle for whatever man that would give me attention while trying really hard to keep him happy. But the men I had encountered were completely opposite. Because to learn, once they got what they wanted, it was never enough. There was always better, and usually, it belonged to someone else, which made them want it that much more because humans always want what they can't have. That was my life until God said, Enough is enough.

The world is not ready to hear what I want to share. Maybe it's because they are looking for a simple solution or maybe even a step-by-step process of how to get past certain stages in life. There are many self-help books and motivational books that can help you temporarily lift your spirit. There are also therapists, medications, and even self-pleasuring addictions that can relieve part of the pain. But there is only one true solution, and that is to go through the fire and face your fears. David tells us in Psalm 23:4, Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I will fear no evil; for You are with me.

This is the only way! There is no other way! Will it be easy? No. Will it require work from you? Yes. Our journey in life is a never-ending school filled with assignments, tests, and teachers. And if you don't pass the test, you get to take it over and over again until you have learned the lesson. Then you go on to the next lesson. Relationships formed with others are our greatest teachers. They are formed to either build you up or tear you down. Each experience is an opportunity to help shape you and mold you into a false version of yourself or into the greatest version of yourself.

We are all given assignments to complete before leaving this earth. We are not told anything about the assignments prior, but life is always preparing us for it. Spiritual assignments are usually challenging positions we have put ourselves in, and the only one you can trust to get you through it is God.

After reading my story as a young girl to becoming a woman, you will understand why I was fearful of men and how my fear kept me from connecting and learning how to communicate with them. I had unintentionally become emotionally detached to my feelings because of my past traumas which caused me the inability to feel the love or give the love required to sustain any meaningful relationship for long periods of time. To help me learn this lesson, I was given an assignment by God, which led me to an online Christian dating site where I chatted with a Nigerian man and an American man claiming to be stranded and helpless in Nigeria. I cannot fully tell you about this book unless you are willing to learn about each character involved—their characteristics and personalities and the patterns they showed while texting.

In this book, you will find scriptures that are in the Bible because I give all glory to the only true God that helped me get through these traumatic times. The scriptures are all inspired by God and God-breathed by the Holy Spirit to help us, teach us what is true, and make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It is our own personal manual given to us by God, which gives us instructions, rules, examples, encouragement, and hope. Without it, we are given to the hands of the god of this world, who is Satan.

Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don't believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don't understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.

—2 Corinthians 4:4 (NLT)

This is more than just another online-dating story. Not only do I share my testimony on how I believe I met the love of my life and how my faith in God's goodness and trusting him to take me to the Promised Land helped me endure.

And without faith, it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

—Hebrews 11:6 (NIV)

I also share the deep conversations had while witnessing and helping them reflect on their own lives. While on my journey, I had a choice to become a victim or a servant to the Lord and allow his will to work through me. The victim mentality would have kept me stuck in my mind. It would have hardened my heart and brought pain that would lead to my destruction. By choosing to be used by God, I learned to forgive others and bless them for the experience that it gave me and move forward. I share with you some of my childhood experiences to help you understand how Satan is a pedophile who comes after children when they are young before they have developed a healthy mindset. I go into complete detail, humbly hoping that my life helps others understand their own traumas.

As you read through the chats that I share, I ask that you carefully listen to each person's story. There is a revealing of pain and hidden injuries to their soul that has not been brought to their awareness. I am not here to condemn anyone for the choices they made but to bring light to the world. We all have a choice, and I choose to love. Every person in this story has their reasons for doing the things they do, but because this is a long-distance online relationship, I can only truly tell you my version of this story. My thoughts come from my past experiences and my new belief system. My choices come from my knowing who I am in Christ. My love comes from knowing God loved me first.

The purpose of this book is to generate curiosity about why some people do the things they do and also to bring awareness on how our thoughts and our reactions play a major role on how we come out of our trials and who we become. Did I pass the test? I don't know. But what I do know is the enemy (Satan) did not take my soul.

I hope by reading this book you can reflect on your own life and ask yourself, Who's speaking in your ear?

Chapter 1

My Assignment

My adventure on online dating started on January 2018. I wrote on my profile:

I am a born-again, god-fearing woman who loves to speak about my Lord and Savior. I am not only here to meet my life partner but also to serve the Lord, and I will not be interested in any one that does not show a common interest in Jesus. I am hoping to find a god-fearing man who is kind, loving, and knows what his purpose in life is.

I posted a couple of photos, and I was on a journey that would lead me into the unknown.

Immediately, a man messaged me and said he was looking for someone to marry. I could tell right away he had trust issues because he wanted me to chat with him and only him.

I said to him, I wish you well, but you are not the one for me.

There were other men I chatted with that each had a story on how their hearts were broken by women they loved but I had not felt a connection in my spirit that called me to want to continue chatting with any of them.

I had never been on a dating site before but had heard of all kinds of stories of romantic scams and people using other people's photos while posing as someone different than who they really were. I always thought people who joined dating sites were desperate and lonely. I was neither desperate nor lonely, but I was not going to limit myself to meeting someone locally. I was willing to step out of my comfort zone and not put any limitations on what God may have for me. I had come a long way from being that woman who would settle for just any man and I was not going to allow fear to keep me hostage any longer.

I had been married for eighteen years to a man who acted one way with me and another way in front of other people. So, what difference would it make whether I met someone in person or online? It was all about taking a chance. I knew I had grown spiritually by God's grace for a reason, and I was willing to take on this challenge.

I had never been good at having long and meaningful conversations with men in my past, mostly because I did not have the mind or the heart to hold a man's interest for long periods of time. This is why, in my past, physical touch was so important. I would give my body instead so they would not notice the lifeless soul that I was. But I am not that woman anymore; I am now a child of God, which makes me special and extraordinary in his eyes.

Although I was not totally confident in my communication skills, I was hoping that by communicating with men online it might help me learn how to express myself through words and not fall into temptation. I was going to use this site to help me grow in whatever way. Since I was not willing to settle for just anyone. I was going to trust the Holy Spirit to speak to my soul and connect me with my life partner.

I was reminded by others to beware of scams and fake people using someone else's photos. I took their advice to heart, but the same way we give to charity is the same way I viewed this challenge. As long as the Lord is a part of it, it was not my problem if they chose to pose as someone different from who they really were.

In my opinion and because of my experience, everybody is fake until they have come into their true divine self.

A month had gone by and I was ready to give up. I thought, What a waste of time this is. I am just going to have to make peace with the fact that I might have to spend the rest of my life as a single woman. I was about to delete this site but then I decided to try one more time and see what God had for me. As I scrolled down a few photos, I came across a man's silhouette. No photo but the heading read, Searching for you. I didn't know why I was drawn to open it, but I did, and his profile read as follows:

I believe in chemistry and all its elements: interests, attraction, respect, communication, and the click, etc. I prefer to support rather than control my partner and ask for the same. I appreciate women who are assertive and accomplished in whatever way, yet willing to grow as a person. I am sickeningly honest and can't stand dishonesty from others. I am looking for a nice woman to spend time with and am a genuine person who is kind and loyal. I'm an attractive individual, but what is most attractive to me is the personality and beauty in the soul.

I sat for a moment reading his profile over and over, and something just clicked. I don't know why. So I decided to send him a message.

Hello, I like your profile. Perhaps we can chat sometime?

I was a little bold in my text only because I knew I was hiding behind a phone. Within minutes, I received a response from him.

I like yours too! Hello, I am Ramiro. Are you single?

Hello, I am Gracie and yes, I am single.

How long have you been on this site and have you met anyone you are interested in? he asked.

A couple of weeks or so, and no, I have not met anyone I am interested in, but I have chatted with a couple of men who were ready to get married, LOL. What about you?

LOL, no luck yet, he answered.

I was pretty straightforward and told him about my encounter with Jesus and how I had met a man in my past who shocked my soul into an awakening.

Wow! So now you are born again, right?

Yes, I am.

I really liked how he was responsive to my vulnerability. We chatted online a bit longer, but then there was a long pause and no response. I found him to be really enchanting, so I did not give up. A couple of days went by, and he had not reached out to me, so I decided since this is a Christian site, I would try to keep it to that topic. I sent him a text message, hoping he would respond,

What are the two greatest commandments?

He responded early the next morning and apologized for falling asleep, It is the love of God and the love of thy neighbor.

When I read his response, I thought, Thank God, he is familiar with the Word. After a week of chatting, I noticed a pattern. He was only texting me during the day. A big aha came to my awareness. I told myself, Maybe he is with someone at night and could only chat with me during the day. So, I quickly sent him a message.

Something feels off, and I am not sure what it is.

Do you want to talk about it? he asked.

I was definitely not expecting that response. He came across confident and secure like a man who had nothing to hide. Plus, I had never met a man who asked me, Do you want to talk about it?

Why don't you ever text me in the evening so we can chat when I get home from work?

I am working in Africa right now, and it is because of our time difference.

I was pretty relieved to hear that he was not being unfaithful to a woman. After all, I would not want to do to someone else what I would not want done to me.

He continued texting, I am a freelance electrician, and I am doing the rewiring on a vacant high-rise building. This job is only supposed to last for about six weeks, then I should be on my way back home to the States.

At this point, it did not really matter to me where he was because I was still fearful of meeting a man in person. We continued chatting online about different things, nothing too personal, mostly about the weather, his job, or about Christ. I usually woke up to find a message from him saying, Good morning, and have a blessed day. After a couple of weeks of chatting, I was starting to get used to our routine and did not see it as a big deal anymore. But this morning, I woke up to a different text:

What do you think about us chatting on WhatsApp?

I hesitated before I responded nervously, I am not ready to give you my phone number.

He responded quickly saying, It's cool. We can continue chatting here.

I thanked him for understanding, and he responded:

No problem, cupcake.

I thought, He did not just go there. I was a little shocked he had already given me a pet name. But I also thought it was cute. I slept and meditated on this for a night, and the following morning, I texted him and said, I don't know why, but I feel the need to give you my number, and if you still want to continue chatting, you can give me a call.

We connected on WhatsApp. I was not familiar with WhatsApp, but I was guessing it is what most people use to connect with others outside the country. Plus, Ramiro said it would give us more freedom to chat about whatever we wanted without being monitored by the Christian dating site.

We continued text messaging, which is something I felt more comfortable doing than speaking on the phone. I was not familiar with FaceTime, video calls, or any voice recording systems at that time. Everything was new to me. My mission was to learn how to communicate, and texting was my preference until I felt more confident. I texted him and asked if it was okay if I asked him personal questions.

Ask whatever you like. I am an open book.

Why did you decide to go work in Africa? I asked curiously.

I needed to get away from all the things that were happening to me, and I was ready for an adventure. I found a website that was looking for electricians to work in Africa. I had nothing to lose, so I went for it.

I told him my ex-husband was working in Africa for a while too. What a coincidence, I thought. I could tell Ramiro was not the inquisitive type, mostly because he did not ask many questions, but that was okay. I had enough questions for both of us.

I asked, Have you ever been married before?

Yes, I was married for ten years before my wife passed.

I am so sorry to hear that. May I ask how she died?

She died of cancer. When she died, her family blamed it on me.

I thought, that is strange. Was she depressed? And did she know the Lord? I asked.

I don't know if she was depressed, and no, she did not know the Lord. I had always been there for her, but she was stressed because her family was always trying to get her to leave me. They thought she could find someone better than me because she was white and I was black.

I listened as he was texting and thought, Hmm. That is not far-fetched to believe because my parents were also prejudiced and did not want their children to be with a black person.

I responded with concern, So you left to work in another country because you are running away.

I am not running away! She comes from a rich and prominent family, and they know people.

I asked with bewilderment, Were they trying to hurt you in some way?

Many strange things started happening to me. I started receiving threats anonymously, and the worst being someone cut the brake line in my car, and I almost crashed. I just needed to get away, and this opportunity popped up, and I went for it.

I was intrigued by what he was sharing with me. It seemed like a common story where racial discrimination played a huge part and also about a family that was still trying to control their children.

Where did you meet your wife? I asked curiously.

I met her online. We hit it off right away and were married months later.

I could sense in my spirit he was getting emotional talking about this subject, so we decided we would chat later. I never considered myself to be an overthinker, but by his responses and not pausing to come up with an answer, I could tell he was speaking the truth.

I felt comfortable chatting with him and was interested in learning more about him. We began chatting every day. He would text me and tell me how his day was going and how he spent most of his time pulling out the old wiring before putting in new wiring since it was an old abandoned building. I would tell him about my job and how stressful it was at times, but since we started chatting, it gave me something to look forward to. He asked if it would be okay if I texted him when I got home from work; that way, he would know I made it home safely, and he would be able to sleep well. I was not used to someone caring about my safety unless they knew me personally, but I said, Of course.

I felt the connection slowly becoming more evident and was now more curious to know what he looked like. I did not want to let his appearance be the reason why I was attracted to him. I had gone by physical attraction in my past and found out later it was nothing but an infatuation and was all superficial. I trusted God knew what my taste was because I sure didn't know, but for some reason, black men were all I was attracting lately. I didn't care; I was going to allow it to stay a mystery and trust my spirit to guide me.

I texted, So tell me about your parents, and do you have any siblings?

Both my parents have passed.

Oh, I am so sorry to hear that. Were they in love?

Yes, they were, but my father always traveled and worked out of the country, and my mother would miss him. After he passed, she died shortly after from a broken heart.

That is so sad. How about your siblings?

I have sisters, but we don't have a relationship with each other.

Why? I asked.

My sisters were very controlling. Since I was the youngest, they were overprotective of me. They did not like my wife either. They thought she was a controlling person. When I stuck up for my wife, they turned against me.

I texted, Wow, that sounds like the same story I have with my sister.

We learned simple things about each other like birthdays, favorite colors, foods, and music. These text conversations went on for weeks. It was like talking to an old friend.

Then one day, he texted and said, If we both put some work and effort into this relationship, we can make it work.

We were about four weeks into this online relationship, and I felt my walls slowly coming down. I was no longer chatting online with other men. My focus was primarily on Ramiro.

I am willing to do my part. I thought, No pain, no gain.

Everything just seemed natural and innocent, like how it was supposed to be. Neither one of us was trying to rush into anything. I thought, After all, it would just be a matter of time before he would be back in the States. Even though we were thousands of miles apart, I could feel his energy, and I was pretty sure he could feel mine too. Ramiro was not the talkative type, but he was very affectionate and would start each text conversation with a Sweetie or Cupcake. I did not want to fall hard. I was really trying to hold back on my feelings, but it was not easy. Then it happened.

He texted, I think I am falling in love with you.

I was not really shocked because I knew I was falling for him too.

I think I am too.

I was mesmerized, and my head was floating in the air. I thought, I don't even know what this man looks like, but that did not even matter. My soul felt a connection.

Oh boy, this was not what I wanted, or was it? But I was not sure if I was prepared for it.

Chapter 2

This Can't Be Happening

Ramiro was unlike any other man I had met in person or online. It just felt right. It was not a struggle to be me. I did not have to pretend to be anyone else for him to like me. He asked about my health and my family, and he always ended our chat with, Stay blessed. I asked him to send me some photos of himself. Instantly, I received four or five photos of a very handsome black man, bald, with light-brown skin and an average build. He did not look like an American nor did he look like an African but of