How Southern Is That?

By Trisha Tetlow

HOW SOUTHERN IS THAT? brings southern ways of cool evenings, hot days. Fast-paced stories, poetry, snappy quotes make you want to kick off your shoes, sit back, and enjoy. Reading about scandal, sensational leaders, words forming pictures make readers feel they are part of each story, rather than merely reading them. Want to go to tea? You're here. Want to go to the movies about the south? Pick one, and feel that you are on a vacation for sure. Y'all ready? Hold steady. Enjoy what the South has--and all that jazz.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Oct 28, 2020
• ISBN: 9781664131026

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Copyright © 2020 by Trisha Grizzard Tetlow.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,

recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not

necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims

any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 10/27/2020

Xlibris

844-714-8691

www.Xlibris.com

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CONTENTS

Stayin’ South

Welcome To Gris-Gris

Most Unexpected Dinner Partner

Many Happy Returns Of The Day, Tad

Open For Business

The Write Occasions

Tales Of How It Was: Country House

Slash Gardening

Beginning Journeys In Two City Houses

New Book Coming Out

Acknowledgments

STAYIN’ SOUTH

Avid traveler with an energy and imagination that amazes even me, I love writing about my many adventures, experiences, opinions of all things southern. That includes way south, like Greece, Rome, Mexico, Monaco. Attention to appreciation of history, tradition, flavors in slow-cooked dishes, meaningful music, ambiance of culture, and breathtaking architecture—all these items are southern. Therefore Greeks could very well find delight and comfort in the visitor’s center in Mississippi or at the Holiday Express near the French Quarter. Folks from Savannah, Georgia, could feel at home on the isle of Crete.

Success is not something to wait for, it is something to work for.

—Longfellow

www.thegoldenquotes.net/success-is-not-something-to-wait-for-it-is-something-to-w…

1.jpg

The Isle of Crete

https://unsplash.com/photos/K-UpMH3LyGA

POET

Trisha Tetlow

While in Crete, he called me poet.

I smiled, don’t feel it,

can’t understand it,

don’t remember the lines.

But tonight, as I see

terra cotta shingles,

round, coral, perfect,

I envision their

lovely curves and

wonder how they came to be.

On Queen Sofia Avenue,

I write again

with feelings,

puttin’ it on the line,

drawing pictures

with words . . .

Heart pumpin’ schemes,

my pen skirts across

the page as fact and fiction,

thoughts and diction

merge.

Real endeavors sort

sleep from dreams,

milk from cream,

so it may seem

that I am poet.

These are opinions that I grew up with: It is veh, veh Southern if . . . You wake up in the morning with an inch of snow, schools are closed. If you love, love, love yourself sweet tea, if you have a definite accent, you have gravy on veggies, bread, taters, chicken, beef, even mebbe ice cream, and it’s called smothered—how Southern is that?

What if there are churches on nearly every corner? Is everything better with bacon? Is there ice cream with bacon? What about caramel doughnuts—is bacon sprinkled on top? Butter, melted on top. In a batter, cut up cold into recipes is a must. Biscuits are considered the essence of Southern. We know that the words, Bless your heart are Southern, but do they really mean that? Hot, humid summers welcome Southerners, and cold lemonade is the best ever.

Can you get much more Southern than that?

***

I love the South, from Houston, Texas, down to Key West, Florida, and clean up to the Mason-Dixon line at the Maryland–Pennsylvania border. How Southern is that? Well, way Southern. Speaking with the accent on vowels, polite conversation with those looking for directions or advice, cooking with heavy cream, fresh eggs, butter, homes and commercial buildings reflecting European classic design all show the way to southern ways.

In this book, there are many looks at the South, nonfictional accounts, embellished stories, anecdotes, looks at life, and how life hands you lemons. If you can make lemonade out of them, you recover. If you turn as sour as lemons, you pass along the sourness, hurt yourself and others, and make recovery for you and those around you improbable.

Take a frown, turn it upside down, and smile, even though your heart is tattered. Finding humor in dreary situations is the smart thing to do, the way to survive. Like water off a duck’s back, fling whatever takes you down, and get ready, be ready for the next major melodrama or mayhem. ’Cause it’s around the corner, and when all else fails, get yourself a warm bowl of grits, sprinkle salt and pepper on it, plump a big fat pat of butter, stir it up, and enjoy the moment. See? You’re taking a deep breath, relaxing, and—how Southern is that?

In all my travels, in all my conversations, I have run into these sayings. They are rambling, sometimes direct, but always, always an opinion, not a fact. My ears have become so used to these that they are mine—since I have talked this way since dinosaurs walked the earth.

Is this Southern?

He isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Kind of slow-witted

I’ve got champagne taste on a Kool-Aid budget. Pretentious

He’s meaner than a two-headed snake. Deplorable

Butter my backside and call me biscuit. Shock and awe

That boy’s a few fries short of a Happy Meal. Really slow and different

Lord a mercy. Somebody help me.

We’re thick as molasses. Really good friends

My nose itches—must be havin’ company. A superstition

It’s comin’ up a cloud. A storm is near.

That dog’ll hunt. That will work.

The lights are on, but nobody’s home. Kind of slow-minded.

Dictionary of Southern Slang - ThoughtCo

https://www.thoughtco.com/southern-slang-dictionary-2211844

These sayings have secret meanings all their own:

Heavens to Betsy. Not a good situation, or expressing disapproval

Well, I declare. When one is at a loss for words, usually with gossip

Hold your horses. Wait just a minute. Or, say that to me again.

Too big for his/her britches. Vain, uppity, annoying

Hush your mouth. More gossiping, disbelief that what someone repeated is actually true.

Funny as all get out. Too humorous for words.

She/he has gumption. Bravery, radical independence, a definite compliment.

Well, I s’wanee. I declare. Slang for swear—swanee.

If the creek don’t rise. If nothing too bad happens.

Pretty as a peach. Downright beautiful

Till the cows come home. Forever and a day

https://www.southernliving.com/travel/southern-sayings

Fried Chicken the Southern Way

Ever tried to get a secret chicken recipe out of a proud chef? Good luck. Here are different ways of getting a tender, flavorful fried chicken dinner just the way you like it. These are recipes I have invented from eating fried chicken for decades.

1. Make a thick batter of half-and-half, eggs, milk, salt, pepper. Mix well. Massage chicken parts well and refrigerate overnight. Let the coating drip off the chicken. Take out and let drain. Serve with whipped potatoes, collards, buttermilk biscuits, and peach pie for dessert.

2. Soak chicken parts in salty brine overnight. Mix equal parts of flour and corn meal. Add 1 tsp. each of chili powder, oregano, salt, pepper. Mix well. Coat chicken, three parts at a time, and fry in deep fryer with corn oil. Cook well on each side. Drain on paper towels. Serve with hot buttered rice, gravy, yeast bread and apricot jam, corn pudding, snap peas. Serve vanilla pudding with whipped cream for dessert.

3. Salt chicken parts well. Refrigerate overnight. Dunk chicken in flour, salt, pepper, garlic, paprika, onion powder. Fry in sunflower oil until golden brown on each side. Drain well. Serve hot with baked grits and Monterey cheese, tomato bisque, kale salad, and, for dessert, serve Charlotte russe.

Generous plate of Southern dinner.

2.jpg

https://pixabay.com/photos/batter-breast-chicken-colorful-1239027/

GRITS SERVED JUST THE WAY YOU LIKE IT

Man is what he eats.

—Ludwig Feuerbach

https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/you-are-what-you-eat.html

These suggestions are mine, since I eat grits every week. After trial and error, these are the ways to make a good thing even better.

1. Grits and gravy

Prepare grits the way the container directs for four. Make a thick gravy with butter and bacon drippings. When the grits are thick and done, put 3 large pats of butter in them and stir with salt and pepper. A pinch of garlic adds depth of flavor. Pour into a greased dish. Bake in the oven at 325 degrees in a suitable pan for fifteen to twenty minutes. Remove and let set for thirty minutes. Cut squares of thick baked grits into squares and dunk both sides into flour. Fry in corn oil on each side until golden brown. Let each square rest on paper towels to drain. To serve, each fried square gets a generous dollop of gravy. Serve with fried chicken and baked squash with onions.

2. Grits and sausage/bacon

Prepare grits for four as directed on the package. Put large pats of butter on them and stir well. Cook sausage and bacon according to directions. Drain both on towels. Add maple syrup to both bacon and sausage and let rest for ten minutes. Put hot buttered grits into your favorite bowl and top with sausage and/or bacon. Serve with baked fish and spinach soufflé.

‘Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers.

—William Shakespeare

https://www.azquotes.com/quote/368600

1. Grits and cheese bake

After cooking grits for four as directed, remove from the heat and add pepper, garlic, paprika, 1 cup of Asiago cheese, plenty of butter, onion flakes. Let sit for five minutes. Add 1 teaspoon olive oil. Stir well. Add diced pimiento. Stir well. Serve with scrambled eggs and Virginia ham.

2. Baked grits with three cheeses

Cook grits for four and let sit away from heat. Add 2 tablespoons of olive oil, 1 cup of Romano cheese, 1/2 cup cheddar cheese. Stir well. Add 6 tablespoon of diced cooked bacon and stir. Add 1 cup of cream cheese with garlic and stir. Add butter and pour into proper baking dish. Bake for twenty minutes at 325 degrees. After taking it out, sprinkle more Romano cheese on top and allow to cool for ten minutes. Serve with tomato and lettuce salad and garlic bread.

COLLARDS SERVED SIX WAYS TO SUNDAY

Collards are an emotional item for me. Getting ready to cut these in the garden after the first frost, I know that collards can be served a lotta ways. Here are six ways to do that:

1. Since I love Greek food with a passion, this is a recipe that reminds one of stuffed grape leaves, but it is stuffed collard leaves. Tender, flavorful, it makes a great appetizer or a main dish, depending on the size of portions. Serve with tossed salad, rice, and pinto beans.

Cut collard leaves close to the bottom so that you get all the leaf. Blanch a bunch of collard leaves for five minutes. Take out and cool. Cut rectangle off each leaf, 3 inches by 5 inches. Put 1/5 of a teaspoon of olive oil on the portion and spread all around. In a bowl, mix 1/3 of a pound of lamb, 2/3 pound of veal, 6 tablespoons of grated carrots, 3 tablespoons of grated onion, salt, pepper, garlic, cilantro. You can tell this is a spinoff from the Greek cooking I enjoyed in Athens and Crete. Put this raw mix in each collard portion, then roll up, and cut off any extra greenery that is left over. Make at least 20, steam for at least fifteen minutes, and serve right away with accompanying sides. Love it.

2. Cut collard leaves into four-by-four pieces and dip each leaf in egg wash. Then dip in cornmeal mixed with garlic and salt and pepper. Fry in peanut oil on each side, one minute and then a minute on the other side. Serve with rice and fried apples.

3. Boil collard green until tender. You can cut collards up or leave whole. Be sure they are very tender and easily torn apart. Cut up purple onions and sprinkle on top. Serve with baked potatoes and sliced tomato and cabbage salad with French dressing.

4. Boil as many whole collard leaves, layered in piles, that will fit in a large pot. Separate each leaf and cool. Spread out each leaf, flat and all in one piece. Stuff with rice that is cooked with green peppers, onions, salt and pepper. Serve with corn muffins and onion jam.

5. Cut/chop collard leaves into small pieces. Cook until very tender with onion salt, celery, eggplant, and potatoes. Be sure that all ingredients are well done. Let cool. Add 3 teaspoons of grape seed oil. Get a 9x13 baking pan and oil well with olive oil. Use raw lasagna pasta that cooks in the actual recipe. Add 2 cups tomato sauce to collard mixture and mix well. Put thin layer of extra tomato sauce in greased baking pan. Put layer of lasagna noodles like any other lasagna recipe. Add collard layer. Sprinkle your favorite grated cheese for the next one-inch layer. Repeat layers, ending with grated cheese layer. Bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes or until bubbly and done.

6. Make onion jam, enough that will equal 5 cups when all done. Boil 2 cups of rice and let cool. Make 3 cups of gravy. Let cool. In a big boiling pot, boil 12 leaves of collards. Let all dishes cool well. Take 1 leaf, spread it out, put 3 teaspoons cooked rice, 2 teaspoons onion jam, 1 teaspoon gravy. Roll up and serve as a main dish. Serve with fried chicken, baked carrots in cheese sauce, and biscuits.

The road to wisdom is paved with excess.

—Walt Whitman

www.goodreads.com/quotes/249775-the-road-to-wisdom-is-paved-with-excess-t…

(Wikipedia.com) Stevie Nicks, last modified July 19, 2008

Joe Sample, had a way of bringing brass together with his piano, making a sassy sound that you never really lose. His I’ll Love You is a favorite, but every time I listen to Lalah Hathaway’s When Your Life Was Low with Joe Sample, it takes me back to a question about love and loss.

In relationships, is there actually one of the two involved that loves more than the other one? What a sad thought, but this song could verify that it happens. She croons her lovely song, with lyrics that bring home the regretting, emphasize the utter despair that she feels. To think that someone loved you while their life was low, then leaves you when they become successful—well, that’s pathetic.

Lovers should always be honest, friends first; and if not, you’re in a game, maybe full of shame, a game that you will lose. If you are fooled once, that’s part of living and learning, but doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results, well, that’s crazy.

Feeling the emotion in this song turns me inside out, because the betrayal, the distancing that he seems so casual about, suddenly, or little by little, is toxic to a woman who started out being a one-man woman, but evolves into a player due to circumstances beyond her control.

According to the song, she