Wellbeing for Mothers: You Matter!

By Mary North

Mary North thought that she was living the life of a typical stay-at-home mum, devoting herself to raising her children, putting them first and herself last. But it wasn’t until her health took an unexpected downturn that she realised she had ignored her own needs for too long and she began to understand the importance of caring for herself as a mother.

In Wellbeing for Mothers, she offers a look at her journey and presents topics that evoke reflection through discussion and practical exercises that are designed to guide you towards achieving wellbeing, respecting your body, feeling supported and accepting the fact that, as a mother, you matter. North presents a perspective on a host of topics including understanding time versus balance, practicing self-love, letting go, seeking relaxation, being present, prioritising without feeling guilty, and living your authentic life.

North demonstrates how it is possible to navigate the challenges of being a mum whilst maintaining your own health and sanity. Welbeing for Mothers communicates the importance of taking care of yourself so that both you and your family can thrive.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press AU
• Release date: Nov 15, 2019
• ISBN: 9781504315050

Mary North

Mary Vanessa North studied journalism at Deakin University before starting her career as a journalist, presenter, and producer for community television and marketing/events manager in the global corporate space. Her work afforded her the opportunity of living in both Singapore and London before settling in Melbourne where she set up her home and family business, with her husband, Mike, and their two boys, Robbie and Harrison.

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M y Story

I thought I was living the life of a typical stay-at-home mum. I thought it was a rite of passage as a mother to devote your life to raising your children, as I had seen done throughout my family, and to put your kids first and yourself last. I have two active, gorgeous, and charismatic young sons: Robbie (five) and Harrison (four), whom I adore and would do anything for, but I didn’t realise until I became ill that ignoring my own needs to prioritise others’ needs, all of the time, would be so detrimental to all of us.

In 2014, I had been battling a constant stream of minor illnesses, such as colds, sinus problems, a burst eardrum, teeth problems, and just generally feeling unwell and unnurtured. Even though I went to the gym a few times a week, I thought it was normal to feel constantly exhausted, and I often skipped meals as I rushed from one thing to the next. I became overwhelmed by looking after the children, looking after the house, trying to squeeze in time to work on my husband’s arboriculture business from home, and all of the domestic duties on top of it. I didn’t feel I had the right to complain because I felt so blessed to be raising these beautiful souls. I felt it was a privilege to be home with them and I was thankful that I didn’t have to go back to work.

I sought solace in my mother’s group and kindergarten friends, which just reaffirmed to me that most mums were in the same boat. But my life was completely out of balance, and I was completely burnt out, and what was making it worse for me was that I was also trying to deal with my health, which was in a rapidly declining state. I felt that my ailments were really just getting in the way and annoyingly slowing me down. The last thing I would have made time for was to get a blood test.

Still, I would find myself day dreaming of nurturing my spirit, having time to meditate, even just have a doona day where I could lie in bed and not have to do anything for a day. I kept reminding myself that one day I would have time to write, and I felt guilty that I thought about my own pursuits when I should have been appreciating the time I had with kids at home before they started school. My husband has always been supportive with the kids, but he was caught up with running our family business. I felt that he didn’t really understand the pressures I was under, and we didn’t get to spend much quality time together. I also felt guilty if I showed interest in doing something for myself, such as writing or other activities, because the business was what brought in the income and my husband needed help. So I really supressed what I realise now was my soul purpose. He did come through for me, however, and proved himself to be the most incredible, supportive, and loving husband and father. The universe, however, had other ways of making me see this and changed everything.

We had just come back from a family holiday to Palm Cove in Queensland where I was frustrated with myself for feeling so tired and not feeling like I’d had enough of a relaxing holiday. I didn’t know just how much my body was struggling with at the time, but a few weeks later when I was recovering from having my wisdom teeth removed (which I only made time for because I was in so much pain), all would be revealed. My face blew up like a balloon. I had huge jowls, I could barely open my jaw from pain, and no amount of pain killers seemed to assist me, despite seeing the dentist and doctors. The hospital wouldn’t let my concerned husband speak to the dental surgeon, as they kept saying he was unavailable and that my symptoms were normal, but my persistence led us to seeing him the following week. In agony, I placed a huge bag of medication on his desk and said to him, I feel like I’m dying. He said he hadn’t seen that much medication before and immediately arranged a bed for me at a hospital. I was actually excited because