Invisible Threads: Finding My Way Home

By Susana Moening

This collection of poetry came to me as I walked through a dark time in my life. It began with words pulling me out of bed late one night insisting I write them down so they wouldn’t be lost. They continued to appear while illness, heartache, and fear split me open and taught me to let love in again. The poems on these pages are my dive into the darkness and light that encompass my being and gratitude for the gifts of nature and beautiful souls who have held out a lifeline for me. I’ve come to understand the goodness that is ours to live no matter who we are or what we hold. My hope is that we all feel it stirring within to lead us through difficult times and help us find our way back home.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Oct 31, 2019
• ISBN: 9781982237677

Susana Moening

Susana Moening has been guiding and learning from young children as an educator for thirty years. She grew up close to nature and finds her inspiration in beauty and interconnection. Susana lives in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado.

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Copyright © 2019 Susana Moening.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

ISBN: 978-1-9822-3766-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-3767-7 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date:   12/04/2019

For the kind souls and

sentient beings

who walk with me on this journey.

I am forever grateful.

Contents

Preface

The Voice

Pieces of Me

Silence

What Lies Beneath

Stealthy

Inner Prison

Drenched By Your Presence

Castle Walls

Permission

Seeking Refuge

Looking In

Echoes

The Anticipating Darkness

Aspen Wisdom

Love’s Reach

Bound

The Misty Line

Leaf Dance

Invisible Threads

Jeweled Perfection

Wise One

Take My Breath Away

Iron Fingers

Mendable

Winged Moment

Life On Hold

Surrender

The Iceland Poppy

Skinny Branches

Willing Feet

Ballads of Beauty

In a Hummingbird’s Gaze

The Pendulum Swings Wide

I Am Not Afraid

Tending the Light

Safe Passage

My Soul and I

A Beautiful Mess

Bits of Joy

Out of the Rubble

Breaking Open

Here

The Way Out

Crescendo

"Love

Is the great work

Though every heart is first an

Apprentice."

-Hafiz

Preface

This collection of words came through me while I wandered my inner desert trying to make sense of my life. It began one night as I tucked myself in to sleep and words suddenly started dancing around in my head insisting that I get up and write them down so they didn’t get lost. They proceeded to get me up two more times that night just as I nestled back in and neared sleep. I’d fall into that sweet abyss and they would reach down and lift me back out into the quiet night. Amid my inner protests of getting dragged out of bed yet again, something in me knew whatever was so insistent on being heard was important and so I did the only rational thing, I surrendered. As is often the case, breakthroughs and healing followed throwing my hands up and getting down on my knees to listen.

At this point in time I had been walking through an illness that stole most of my strength and left me in unfamiliar halfway here territory. It turns out I wasn’t sure I wanted fully back into my life. I had a taste of moving toward a warm, peaceful light, then an abrupt return back into a body that didn’t feel like home anymore. Heartbreak, fear, self-imposed isolation, and the constant presence of regret and shame had left me a shadow of who I once thought I was. I didn’t understand or really care to know the weak, insecure, unlovable creature I’d become.

In the midst of this desert trek, dear friends and family, kind neighbors, and beautiful strangers held a lifeline out for me, which I sometimes held onto for dear life and in other moments, wrapped around me to keep from drowning in my own depths. When I was on my own, it was nature who took me by the hand and led me back to the land of the living time and again. Where would I be without the first fingers of early morning light, the whisper of aspen leaves, the unmistakable hum of the broadtail hummingbirds, and the all-encompassing beauty that gently reminded me that I was part of something bigger that didn’t judge, hold grudges, or condemn me for my past? It was love. Everywhere. Plain and simple. My work turned out to be learning how to love myself in spite of myself. This also meant daring to risk receiving the love offered to me from the souls who were determined to see me through the darkness. No more safety in arms length reception. No more hiding around the edges of my life.

So here we are. I’m still finding my way back to health but my soul no longer carries the burdens that led me to a physical breakdown. I’m learning how to be in this body and fully in this world without any masks or walls and that’s okay. I can live with that. The gifts of this journey have made everyone and everything around me more vibrant and alive, and the touch of tenderness and love achingly beautiful. There is a goodness that is ours to live no