Love’s Lobotomy

By Swaizi Vaughan Ellis

Have you ever heard of the comparison between insanity and love? They have very similar qualities at times. Swaizi Vaughan Ellis is a Texas born model and contemporary poet. She began writing songs at a very young age and as she began to understand herself more, within love and heartbreak, she evolved these journal entries into poems. “Love’s Lobotomy” is her debut as an author. Within this thought provoking collection of poems she expresses all the feelings she felt for men who she loved and experienced at one time or another. This book took Swaizi almost six years to complete. She reminisces her first love, describes polarizing infatuations, and also paints a vivid picture of her desperate need to fall out of love. Within her poems she often combines the senses and personifies the universe, this creates an unexpected image challenging average thought, for example giving color to emotions. Stylishly playing with the idea of being able to surgically rid herself of love this book can resonate with anyone who has experienced such a powerful sentiment.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 4, 2019
• ISBN: 9781546259619

Swaizi Vaughan Ellis

Swaizi Vaughan Ellis is a writer, model, and creative born in Gainesville, Texas. Her mother, also a poet, was very supportive of Swaizi’s free spirited nature. Her mother’s support, accompanied with the love of her grandparents, helped Swaizi to discover who she was very early on. At the age of nine, she began writing songs and later transitioned into writing poetry. Writing helped Swaizi to express things that she could not verbalize. After moving to Dallas, Texas, Swaizi actively pursued her career in the arts. She cultivated her skills as a painter and designer, wrote think pieces for local magazines and blogs, and became a published model. In 2016, two of her poems ‘E-Turn, Next Left, Dead In’ and ‘Prepubescent Khonsu’ were published in The Poetic Bond VI, an international series of anthologies. Love’s Lobotomy, Swaizi’s first book, is comprised of her experiences with love in every form. Love’s Lobotomy breaks down the senses and illustrates the raw emotion of evolving as a person and artist.

Book preview

© 2018 Swaizi Vaughan Ellis. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 02/01/2019

ISBN: 978-1-5462-5962-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5462-5961-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018910792

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

Introduction

1.     How I Love

2.     Unaware

3.     Inflicted Agony

4.     Floating Indigos

5.     Existence and Mine

6.     War

7.     I Want You

8.     The Difference

9.     Texas in Eden

10.   Revolving from your Fingertips

11.   And I Write…

12.   If I Was Your Girl

13.   Love

14.   Item 1 of 1

15.   Crying Triangles

16.   Transition

17.   Sequence

18.   Artistically Ridden

19.   No Space, but Space

20.   Peaceful Supremacy

21.   Fears of the Unimportant

22.   Adopted Enigma

23.   Moving Still

24.   Light to Dark

Dark to Light

25.   You’re Right, I Am

26.   Trapped in Venus

27.   Butterfly Symbols

28.   Prepubescent Khonsu

29.   Rumble

30.   October

31.   Twice Upon a Time…

32.   Never Love a Poet

33.   Former Wives, Mothers, & Me

34.   If You're Reading This it’s too Late

35.   Gate 22

36.   Knowing Emotion

37.   Evolve for Me

38.   Lost in Stare

39.   Centered Healing

40.   My Calm

41.   White Tent Revival

42.   Visions

43.   Callus

44.   When Your Side Chick

45.   When I Think of You & Her

46.   Panic with an Addictive Form

47.   Losing It

48.   Monsoon Midnights

49.   Reflection

50.   He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

51.   Crossed Street

52.   Feelings of Felt Things

53.   Her Tattoo

54.   Pick up Your Pistol

55.   Dead Eyes and Truths

56.   Make an E-Turn, Next-left, Dead-in

57.   I Cry for You

58.   Paper Dolls

59.   Dinosaurs & Butterflies

60.   It Took

61.   Snake

62.   Freestyle Eyes

63.   Paranoia

64.   New Love

65.   Tarnished

66.   My First

67.   Only

68.   Morning Star’s Song

69.   Untitled

70.   When You Kiss Me

71.   Red Rover

72.   Boyfriend in the Nile

73.   Unnamed Sutra

74.   Thank You

Introduction

Lobotomy, created in the 1940’s, was a neurosurgical procedure; a form of psychosurgery. A surgeon would cut into the prefrontal lobe of the brain in the hopes of removing the mental illness from the afflicted. This procedure was conducted as a last resort for a patient. Love’s Lobotomy is an excursion in the insanity of love. Thus, dissecting an organ comprised of brain and heart, cutting into and exposing, to either attempt to rid its afflictions or to realize that its particles are necessary to continue as a feeling being. People often say that their mind and heart are in constant battle. I’ve always felt these two organs of mine are one in the same. I find myself often having thoughts of emotion, thinking in feeling, not just with feeling. At times, this has