Tall Miracles: Look Good, Feel Good, Have a Good Life Where Miracles Abound, and Pursue a Perfect One

By Agnes K Y Tai

This book is a series of light essays in twenty-six self-containing themes (A–Z) about life and its lessons, miracles and faith, history, current topics, and positive psychology. The themes are rich in true stories, questions, quotes, figures, examples, insights, and revelations; they flow by way of idea association. Nostalgic and fun stories about Hong Kong, America, Shanghai, and Australia (places where the author has lived) are interspersed with witty Cantonese slangs, songs, poetry, and humor. It contains cultural reflections of the way of life in Hong Kong half a century ago, societal changes since, and comparisons with modern-day norms. It also brings to attention global issues and points to ponder as broad as global warming and poverty to games we used to play and baby language. It is written for those who desire health, happiness, and fulfillment—look good, feel good, have a good life, and want a perfect one. It prompts us to appreciate miracles and angels that are abound in life yet often go unnoticed. It invites readers to consider how good a life they may already have and act to get a perfect one without expiry. Occasional Chinese words may entrance those who read them. Enjoy!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Partridge Publishing Singapore
• Release date: Apr 24, 2019
• ISBN: 9781543750751

Agnes K Y Tai

Agnes enjoys contributing towards the well-being of the planet and people. She holds senior positions in family offices in Hong Kong and is active in community service. A board member, speaker, sustainability advocate, and mother, her motto is to keep learning, laughing and leap-frogging. She wrote an investment book in 1993 and a Harvard Business case in 2013. She has an MBA and is a PhD candidate.

Book preview

AUTUMN USED TO MAKE ME SAD

Autumn (fall, as they call it in North America) used to make me sad, as trees get bare and the air gets chillier by the day. That was the feeling especially while living in Chicago between 1975 and 1981.

It’s 11 November 2018, Sunday, in Hong Kong. To be specific, in Yuen Long, a ‘village’.

In a city like Hong Kong, described as dense, vertical, urban, and developed, a village simply means it is less so. Yuen Long, being one of eighteen districts of the city, is home to over 1.5 million people. I’m sharing this very fortunate 2.754 km² land called Hong Kong, my birthplace, with nearly 7.4 million fellow inhabitants.

It’s a beautiful autumn day—dry, sunny, temperature ranging in the mid-twenties degrees Celsius, with light white clouds dotting a blue sky. It’s perfect for taking a stroll in a tree-lined garden with loved ones, hiking, cycling, sailing, golfing, jogging, walking dogs, or anything nice to do under the sun.

I couldn’t do any of that. So I sat under the warm sun in my delightful and highly functional e-chair. Oh, that’s my electric wheelchair. I took in the tranquillity and simple joy of breathing fresh air in my front yard and watched a black bird with white stripes along its sides pecking on his afternoon tea of a delicious cricket. The ceramic pumpkins sitting on a low wall next to the stone manger have thanksgiving words written all over them, great reminders for all that I’m blessed with. When I could walk, I was far too busy to sit and look at my front yard for anything more than a few seconds. Just like many in Hong Kong and probably all around in developed communities, I had very full and fulfilled days—or most people call that ‘busy’. Busyness has become an addiction in modern-day life, so have social media and instant gratification of things perceived as entitlements for a good life.

No, I didn’t have an accident or a crippling illness that took my legs or mobility away.

On 7 July, I had the first of two surgeries to gain stature (i.e. limb lengthening). Wait a minute! That’s an earthly desire. Did God tell me to do that? Well, what do you think? No, that was not my heavenly Father’s idea. And I confessed my sin of rebellion—not accepting my height—every time while contemplating it. Some Christians will judge me; others may boycott this book lest believers follow my example deemed as idolatry and vanity, and that’s all right. Christians aren’t saints. I’m a sinner; we all are. And God has the ultimate say.

You see, I haven’t grown any taller since secondary 1 (seventh grade); and at less than 145 cm (4 ft. 9 inch) prior to the procedures, I was more than two standard deviations below normal average adult female height in Hong Kong. I’ve been hoping to be more normal for the past fifty years. Sure, I get a lot of legroom flying economy; that’s a great excuse to save money. Yet in our efficient MTR (Mass Transit Railway system) in Hong Kong, I could hardly reach the handlebars, got stuck in people’s armpits (and with nearly-forty-degrees-Celsius summers, that’s not a pleasant spot to be), and often got long hair flicked onto my face by girls who, for some reason, like to do that every five minutes. What’s more, I couldn’t be seen while standing behind a lectern, flipping paper over on a flip chart was a challenge, my high heels wouldn’t touch the floor while I’m seated on a huge sofa as a panel speaker, and while receiving a large donation check on behalf of an non-profit organization (NGO), my head was barely above it even with me on tiptoes. People used to shake the hands of my subordinates and move on to meetings without noticing me—that happened more in the United States and Australia, where my head was usually a little above people’s belts, so it’s hard to blame them.

My pastor brother, Alfred, told me I had too many complaints. Essentially, I should just accept what the Lord has given me—a body so beautifully and intricately woven in my mother’s womb. ‘Mother Teresa was shorter than you are, and she accomplished great things without complaining about her height … Deng Xiaoping was short, and he single-handedly changed the course of China’s development some forty years ago … Sir Michael Kadoorie and Ronnie Chan aren’t six foot tall, but see how immensely successful they are in business.’ Many similar comments were made by loved ones to offer me comfort. I don’t ever doubt that people accept, like, or even respect me. I just hope to be more normal.

Intrigued by medical options, I found an internal device called PRECICE made by NuVasive in San Diego, United States. It’s drastically less invasive than other technology worldwide and easier to use with high precision, but I was not aware of its availability in Hong Kong or any doctor who has experience with it here. The cost, complications in arrangements, and uncertainty of having limb-lengthening procedures done in the United States or Australia are inhibitive.

So I prayed. ‘Father God, I know that it’s my earthly desire to be taller. Please forgive me. If You grant mercy on me and allow it to happen, please provide all the enabling factors. You promised me with these words: ‘You are my beloved child. I love you. I will take care of you.’ Would you also take care of my short stature and my want to be more normal? In Jesus’s name I pray and receive. Thank you, Father.’

Some six months went by since the online search started, and I failed to reach a doctor who has worked with PRECICE within Hong Kong. I kept praying.

In May 2018, I was really happy to meet Dr Christian Xinshuo Fang at the Gleneagles Hospital, a brand-new private hospital positioning itself as a hotel. He had done limb lengthening with similar devices and was aware of PRECICE being available in Hong Kong. Dr Fang happened to have done his internship with my friend Dr Jane Chan, a Chicago-trained physician. He also happened to be a nephew of Dr Daniel Fang, whom I served with at an IFC Alpha Course. Being a clinical assistant professor of the orthopaedic and traumatology department at the University of Hong Kong (HKU), he was a young and brilliant surgeon experienced in traumatic cases at the public hospital Queen Mary Hospital, which is the teaching hospital of HKU. His father is the renowned spinal specialist Dr David Fang.

Dr Fang spoke with a quiet confidence and warm smile. He was very cautious and didn’t immediately agree with the surgeries for me, partly due to my age. After X-rays, health check-ups, tests, several consultations, and assessment of my psychological needs (fervent want to be more normal), the checkboxes on his list were all marked, making me eligible for team discussion. Several discussions were made with his senior, Professor Frankie Leung, and colleague Dr Terence Pun. Dr Fang was finally convinced that there could be a fair chance of success, and my case could serve as good reference for other practitioners and medical students. He took time in making sure I understood all the risks and possible outcomes during the anticipated nine to ten months of the entire process. Apart from his orthopaedic team, he was to engage anaesthesiologist Dr Sharon Liang if we would go ahead.

I was so overjoyed that God had put this wonderful medical team together for me. Dr Fang told me X-rays and medical test results showed I was as fit as someone thirty years younger, my legs stretched well, and my disposition was positive. He could see my keenness (or should I say ‘greed’) in gaining 15 cm (6 in.) even though his experience said 11 cm (4+ in.) was the usual outcome. Actually, I wasn’t fit had this conversation taken place two and a half years earlier. That changed in mid-December of 2015. After taking the first international Latin dance lesson from Henry Tse, I fell in love with this artistic sport and pushed myself through hard trainings. Coupled with having avoided processed foods since the 1990s, my body was in shape for the traumatic procedures where six bones in my legs were to be broken some two weeks apart. As it turned out, PRECICE was only represented since the fourth quarter of 2017 in Hong Kong by a company that had a biomedical engineer and technical salesperson for my case. PRECICE II.2 wasn’t available a year earlier; this new version was fully sealed, and no leakage would occur should the nail break from too much weight bearing. God’s timing is precise!

A high school friend’s son had been using wheelchairs for over twenty years. She advised me on all the requirements and dimensions to consider when getting an electric one, a manual one, and a commode chair. Her referral got me to a wheelchair rental NGO where, by God’s timing, a perfect manual one had just been returned available for rent and a perfect commode chair was awaiting me. It cost nothing to rent apart from a deposit of HK$300, while the latter cost HK$500 as compared with HK$3,000 for a new one. Those were the most exciting finds on that rainy day in June 2018.

Electric wheelchairs cost between just under HK$19,000 to over HK$35,000. That is, if it has to go a sufficient distance on one full charge, enough power to climb the slanting fifteen-degree slope in front of our main gate, the armrests can be lifted, not too wide to go through doors of rooms on the ground level of my home. I found it—a handsome-looking chair that can climb an eighteen-degree slope. Turbo in disguise,it is foldable, under 20 kg, and easy to manoeuvre. With her account at Taobao, my good friend Lily bought one assembled at just under 4,000 yuan (to be referred to as renminbi, or RMB). It was delivered to her home in Shenzhen, China, right across the river from Hong Kong; and she drove it to Hong Kong. Apart from thanking Lily, I kept thanking our Lord for this aesthetic machine that gives me dignified mobility.

But I needed to have a domestic helper superfast. I lived alone, and being in a wheelchair for nine months or so meant someone had to be there with me almost 24/7. The hiring process normally takes two months. After several agencies and interviews, a helper was going to be available late July. For me, not soon enough. By God’s grace, her employer was kind enough to release her nineteen days earlier to accommodate my needs. The Hong Kong Immigration Department granted empathy after reviewing a medical letter, so she became my helper from 3 July. We had three days for orientation before my surgery on 7 July. Friendly renovation contractors expediently fixed ramps and doors for easy access of my e-chair.

My son, Michael; daughter-in-law, Vienna; my former husband, Patrick; his wife, Lily; (she’s the Taobao genius); brother Eric; and sister May were most supportive by offering prayers, caring words, encouragements, and visits. My brother Alfred and sister Mary prayed remotely; and good friends like Henry, Nicole, Kerr, William, and Eunice visited often. They are my angels. Not that they stopped calling my undertaking ‘crazy’ and fearing huge risks for me. The Cantonese have a slang for my outrageous boldness: ‘got hair growing out of the gall bladder’ (胆生毛) (膽生毛), but I have no clue how the Cantonese made this one up.

By wisdom from above, I found a collagen powder that was processed by an alkaline method from pasteurised cowhide. You see, new bones are made of 50 per cent collagen. Soft tissues too; they have to grow as quickly as the bones get longer, or else properly aligned lengthening can’t be achieved. A high school friend ordered and hand-carried from the UK a great supplement essential food for me. The hard-to-come-by vitamin K and organic flaxseed powder were sourced; and a few other vitamins, most importantly D3, and supplements got into my daily routines. These were taken daily even before surgeries to shape me up.

There are no coincidences—at least not so many favorable elements culminating within two months. Miracles abound in life, big or small, yet often unrecognized.

Bone growth after insertion of PRECICE nails, especially in femurs, was doing great. An osteoporosis jab was introduced daily from early November to help speed up the tibia growth, so hopefully by March 2019, I’d learn how to walk. Daily since surgery, a remote control device moves the magnet inside each fracture of my legs a fraction of a millimeter apart—this is called ‘distraction’. By 16 October, my soft tissue wouldn’t cooperate much longer; numbness and tightness in my lower legs gave doctors a loud signal to (strongly) suggest that I stop the distraction. Some complications occurred; two corrective surgeries had to take place: one in August to loosen peroneal nerves and the last traumatic one done in November to correct alignment in my knees and ankles.

Sounds horribly painful? Nope. The injuries, wounds, and distraction of bones were not. I can tolerate pain pretty well. But the daily stretching exercises to keep tendons, muscles, blood vessels, and nerves extended at the same pace of the bones lengthening were extremely painful. I had to do them three times a day, mostly with the help of my helper. Well, I cheated from time to time since the pain was just too unbearable. Exercise time is also fervent prayer time. Jesus always fills me with His mighty power to endure sixty to ninety minutes of painful exercises each round. No matter how hard it seems at each movement, He always carries me through. For that, I am deeply grateful.

Soon after the second procedure on 23 July, there was numbing pain at my left hip and much discomfort sitting or lying down since there was no muscle or fat to cushion the protruded tail bone of my spine. Then there were massive stomach gases, strange sudden rash attacks, the swelling of feet if seated for an hour, sleepless nights, a prolonged loss of appetite, muscle aches, headaches, low energy, and a burning sensation on the shins or feet. Although playing intermittently and lasting various spans of time, they orchestrated a weight loss of 3+ kg (7 lb.) at one point from a 39.5 kg (87 lb.) pre-surgery me. And I couldn’t go to a salon to color my hair. I didn’t look good or feel good. By mid-October, instead of my own greedy target of 15 cm (6 in.), my gain ended up at around 11 cm (a little more than 4 in.). But the Lord knows better because had my target been met, I would look like a duck with the legs of a crane. Well, my knees still hurt, calves still bruised, and ankles still swollen; yet these will all be gone someday. God’s grace is sufficient for me; His power is made perfect in my weakness. My prayer now is ‘Lord, how can I serve You in my new form?’

Who doesn’t want to look good, feel good, and live a good life? Marketing gurus and advertising experts know that their products or services will sell well by appealing to good looks (beauty), wealth, health (fitness), status (respect at the least), and peace of mind (security). Health and happiness are the ultimate desires of every human. Most of us already have a relatively good life; we just need to bring our focus upon the satisfying parts. Miracles, big or small, are abundant in our everyday living; and we are often helped by people we don’t even know. We just have to stop and take notice. Do you have a zeal for goodness? Would you love to live a good life?

The bird perched on the manger for a little while, looking contented, and then flew away. Autumn is beautiful.

BASKING IN HIS ABUNDANCE

The abundance here refers to the riches in mercy, grace, blessings, favors, and provision from Abba, my Father God. Life has to be good when these are in abundance. Won’t you agree?

How good a life would it be for a domestic helper working in Hong Kong? One true story of God’s blessings in the midst of hardship is awesome. We had a very efficient, diligent, honest, soft-spoken, and kind helper from South-East Asia when our son, Michael, was a young teen; she loved him a lot and looked after him well. Ceci (name changed) had three kids younger than Michael who were being raised by her elderly mom since her husband was not with the family after he left to work in Dubai. Her children seldom saw their father, but Ceci made sure they knew they were well loved. She kept working without much of a holiday and sent back almost every dollar to her family. She went to church on Sundays but didn’t make friends, as they tended to gossip, and she liked to be private. Misfortune fell upon her husband as he suffered a stroke and needed care. Ceci’s mom took him in since Ceci would not dessert her husband at this dire time of his life. She took an emergency leave to take care of a few things at home and came back to us. Around eight months later, her husband passed away. She went home for the funeral and learned from the bank that the mortgage on her house under his name had been forgiven; she need not pay anything, and the whole family could stay. What a relief it was! She could focus on supporting her mom and three kids while paying off a piece of land she bought at the outskirts of Manila.

Then around eleven years later, when she was no longer working for us, she made a quick visit and shared that her older