Covered by Grace

By Mary Berry

Are you seeking the fullness of God’s healing grace from behind your hiding place of repressed shame? Has your strength betrayed you by becoming what you consider your greatest failure? Are you feeling powerless from the trenches of trauma and from a woefully wounded soul? Are you willing to be covered by God’s grace?

You are invited to open Covered by Grace and join this living journey. Come, let go of the shame you ardently hold, release your fears, and find freedom in the grace of God. Through the kindness of God’s grace, you are accepted and loved beyond measure.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 17, 2018
• ISBN: 9781984568724

Book preview

Copyright © 2019 by Mary Berry.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Quotations and paraphrases from Katie Souza Ministries,

www.expectedendministries.org. Used by permission.

Quotations and paraphrases from Derek Prince Ministries, Inc.,

www.derekprince.org. Used by permission.

Cover photo by Lydia Fletcher, June 30, 2018. Used by permission.

www.bettsministries.org

Rev. date: 03/22/2019

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Contents

Preface

Introduction

Trouble by the Truckload

Grace Defined

Grace

Grace Illustrated

Stained

Just One Tiny Bite

Reflection

Secrets

Under the Rug

Guilty and Undone

Sin

Pursued

Your Presence, Lord

Isn’t Knowing Enough?

Slippery Slope

God to the Rescue

Redemption: The Way It Was

Jesus Christ, Our Sacrifice

Remember No More

Come, Apply the Blood of Jesus

Our Wounded Soul

In Exchange

Grace Ebbs In

Grace Released

Changing Gears

In Conclusion

And You?

Acknowledgments

Works Cited

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Other Scriptures used are from:

Scripture quotations marked AMP are taken from the Amplified Bible. Old Testament copyright 1965, 1987 by Zondervan Corporation, Grand Rapids, Michigan. New Testament copyright 1958, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation, La Habra, California. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from the The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright 2000; 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked HCSB have been taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible Copyright 1999, 2000, 2002,2003, 2009 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Holman Christian Standard Bible, Holman CSB and HCSB are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.

Scripture quotations identified KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Wheaton, IL 60189 USA. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

"Powerful, edifying, equipping, and educating! Covered by Grace creates a desire for inward reflection and deeper, broader in-depth study of God’s love and the power of his grace! It is a great addition to any library."

—Brian Ulch, connections pastor, Trinity Lighthouse Church, Denison, Texas

"Covered by Grace is a powerful testimony of Mary Ann Berry’s journey of becoming daringly transparent and exposing her own secret sin. It is a story of how she traded shame, sorrow, and remorse for peace, love, and joy. Intertwined in her personal story is one of the most biblical definitions of what God’s true grace really is."

—Raymond England, senior pastor, Trinity Lighthouse Church, Denison, Texas

Dedication

To all Christians who have stubbed their toe; fallen;

skinned their knees, face, and elbows; and

struggled to run again on that narrow rocky road.

The Lord cries out,

"Receive My grace!

Get up, get going, be watchful, for there is much work to be done!

All my children are needed in the fields white with harvest."

Preface

C overed by Grace is penned initially from the hand of a rebellious writer, adamantly declaring, No, Lord, refusing to consider, even in the slightest degree, the assignment. As days gave way to months and months gave way to years, this reluctant writer was cocooned in transformation. Being exhausted from constant battle, I ultimately surrendered, wholly becoming the Lord’s servant, regardless of personal preferences.

The Lord says, Hold your head up high above the sting of perceived shame, guilt, regret, and remorse, from even what you consider abhorrent. I am with you always. Covered by Grace is a personal account of transformation through our Lord’s miraculous, merciful, and unrelenting love. The Lord desires that none should perish, but that all come to a knowledge of the truth (1 Timothy 2:4, 2 Peter 3:9).

Covered by Grace is about the application of the blood of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit. It is about the power of God’s Word. It radiates with the joy, peace, and freedom from the accuser’s charges. Through God’s Word, filled with unfathomable grace and love, our wounded souls are healed.

Covered by Grace is an illustration of how God relentlessly tracks us down even amid ongoing sin—rescuing, cleansing, and bringing to us His restoration. He comes to reconstruct. His building materials—our own destruction and devastation. He freely gives renewed hope, restored faith, abundant new life, and triumphant victory!

Introduction

T he problem was I didn’t believe it. Anguish accompanied the exposure of my hidden comfort zone. The inability to candidly face myself from the darkest of times and openly admit the long-ago sin was as it was—detestable, repugnant, and abhorrent—required desperate measures. Could I ever be cleansed enough to blot out the scars of self-judgment and the deep-seated disappointment in myself, let alone fulfill God’s purposes? My soul had become deeply wounded! Destroyed were my testimony, my reputation, and my future toward anything related to the Lord. Did even God have enough grace for the likes of me?

Fear and anxiety from my perception of impending threats loomed out of proportion toward being transparent with friends, colleagues, and loved ones. If they only knew. That darkened portion of history would cause me to be shunned, avoided, and rejected. Shackled by public opinion, I became terrified of what people would think. I believed a ring of accusing and condemning gossip would be endless, and I permanently stained. I had claimed this offensive thing as my sin. It had a grip on me, crippling my spirit. It had a grip upon my memories as well, and I considered myself a deeply soiled person. Being hindered by enormous shame, even after repenting more than thirty-five years ago (at the time of this writing) and receiving forgiveness from those I injured, four years have lapsed since the Lord requested I start writing about the one thing I knew quite well—His forgiveness.

Covered by Grace is a journal about a journey of seeking and receiving the fullness of God’s forgiveness as well as the fullness of God’s presence. It is about His healing grace and mercy through the many facets of God’s provisions in the Old and New Testaments of the Bible. Even though we do not deserve it, it is about how God heals our inner being, our soul. It is about experiencing for ourselves the beauty within the length, depth, width, and height of God’s incomprehensible love. It is about being covered by grace by an immense God of grace who loves you and me with an unfathomable measure of love. It’s about God Almighty who will chase us down, climb the rockiest mountain, and follow us to our bed of death, simply to redeem us with His grace. It’s about God’s truth. It’s about moving beyond the stronghold of fear, especially fear generated by the opinions of other individuals. It’s about moving beyond the effects of shame.

Inadvertently, from childhood, what was said with the best of intentions by loving adults who had my best interests at heart became a paralyzing stronghold in my thinking pattern. What will people think? was enormously powerful, as if their opinions meant life or death, in addition to being better and far more legitimate than mine. However, it missed the mark toward being helpful with righteous decisions. Furthermore, it embedded copious amounts of fear into the equation. Being highly sensitive to what people would think or gossip about me fostered a need to cover up what they might see in me as bad. Of course, I wanted to be good, but I could never measure up or be as flawless as what numerous individuals had said about me. You’re so perfect. I bet you can walk on water! was not usual for me to hear. It created a dilemma powerfully trapping me in a different kind of sin—that sin being the foundation for stinkin’ thinkin’ and compounding the intricacies of life.

God has been incredibly loving, kind, and patient as I gradually trusted and consigned to Him the keys for those doors locked with misguided beliefs. As He has revealed and mirrored the contents of my heart back to me over the course of time, I have risked the truth with more and more close friends, family members, and now you because the Lord has required me to share assisting others to find freedom from the darkness—from remorse and shame.

I loved the Lord, at least in thought. And I prided myself on knowing I was a good person with regular church attendance and was available to help whenever needed, which was the makings of a Christian. Being a bit legalistic, I held a rather long list of things I didn’t do, like I didn’t smoke or drink or cuss or swear. I worked for an honest wage. Yet in a severely challenging time of life, the Ten Commandments were broken. Even though I had not purposed to sin, when tested, I was not who I thought I was or who I wanted to be. I was found to be wanting. I had failed the Lord. I had failed my family. I had failed my friends. I had failed in faith. I had failed in spirit. I had failed morally. I had failed myself. I had made decisions driven by hollow and deceptive human philosophies, elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than directed by Christ. Thus, the name of Jesus Christ had been given a black eye; and essentially, I had rubbed His name in the dirt. I discovered I knew only facts and was powerless to live life as holy. I contained only a shallow appearance of godliness.

Even though Covered by Grace continues as an unending journey of discovery, learning the length, height, width, and depth of God’s love, the story begins during my senior year of college after marrying my first husband.

We will discover throughout this journey how to continue living in favor with our Lord God Almighty. Also, we will learn how to run from the darkness of shame and remorse into the glory light of Jesus Christ.

Trouble by the Truckload

W e Christians can get ourselves into a truckload of trouble by unquestioningly trusting self as well as friends excessively. We lean toward forgetfulness. We forget to cover ourselves with the armor of God. We forget about righteousness during the emotional parlay of merriment. We often assume or unconsciously take a gamble on the belief we are safely protected from enticement when we are in the company of trusted Christian individuals—all living within the godly standards Christ has set before us. Deception blinds us into believing there will be no temptation among our trusted friends. Entrapment follows. From the condition of our hearts, our mouths speak, and actions follow.

How can it be that knowing right from wrong is not enough to faithfully do the right thing? The Ten Commandments are straightforward and clear, both in the physical and spiritual realms. I mean, what can be misunderstood in Thou shall not …?

For those of us who raise children, I can imagine that we all have said something similar. Something like What do you not understand about the word ‘no’? is common when rerouting a child’s behavior.

In Deuteronomy 5:1-21 (HCSB), Moses relays God’s decree to the people: "Israel, listen to the statues and ordinances I am proclaiming as you hear them today. Learn and follow